Nagging about saving money for IVF

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melinda200208
melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
in Chit-Chat
If anyone has suggestions for me, please share. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 4 1/2 years. Our next route is IVF due to fertility issues. IVF costs $21,000.00. So, my husband and I decided we need to buckle down and start saving so we can do the IVF a year from now. The problem is, he keeps spending money. We both are ready to do this and wish it would just happen naturally, but it hasn't. He knows we need to save money and he wants to save money, but he spends money a lot easier than I do. I feel like I am a NAG constantly telling him "we need to start saving money, we don't really need that do we?" I feel like I am constantly nagging him about spending money. Yes, I may be getting a little overwhelmed and obsessive but if we want to do this, we need to start saving. We keep talking about it but can't seam to start saving. Any suggestions on how I can get him to stop spending money without being a total nag??? PLEASE HELP! He does get a weekly allowance of $100.00 and has a credit card for gas for work. But just yesterday he transferred $100.00 from our savings to his account....
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Replies

  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
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    First
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Wow. I got nothing.

    Except that I hope he can start saving and this is successful for you.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    he doesnt respect you and sounds controlling. probably need to get divorced


    *standard response any time a woman has a complaint about a SO on here
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    He is the one who mentioned getting an allowance of $100.00 a week. My allowance: ZERO. Honestly, all I do is buy groceries and gas. I'm not your average girl that goes shopping to buy clothes and shoes. Once in a blue moon I will.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    Fertility issues are a huge burden on couples. Throw in financial issues and nagging and you have a recipe for disaster.

    Good luck.
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    He does get a weekly allowance of $100.00

    Thread #1,402 reminding me why I'll never get married.

    This was my HUSBAND's idea.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    He does get a weekly allowance of $100.00

    Thread #1,402 reminding me why I'll never get married.

    Good luck to both of you though.

    Seriously....
    High-Five-GIF-1.gif
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    Fertility issues are a huge burden on couples. Throw in financial issues and nagging and you have a recipe for disaster.

    Good luck.

    I know we will get through it no matter what. Just wondering if anyone had any creative ideas. Thanks Though!
  • tanyoshka
    tanyoshka Posts: 50 Member
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    My suggestion would be to create a 2nd savings account and set up an automatic transfer. Have it automatically transfer over an agreed upon amount every payday (or every month, whatever works better) with a clear understanding that there is NO withdrawing from that account, come hell or high water. That way the money isn't technically spendable to begin with.
  • sseqwnp
    sseqwnp Posts: 327 Member
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    If anyone has suggestions for me, please share. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 4 1/2 years. Our next route is IVF due to fertility issues. IVF costs $21,000.00. So, my husband and I decided we need to buckle down and start saving so we can do the IVF a year from now. The problem is, he keeps spending money. We both are ready to do this and wish it would just happen naturally, but it hasn't. He knows we need to save money and he wants to save money, but he spends money a lot easier than I do. I feel like I am a NAG constantly telling him "we need to start saving money, we don't really need that do we?" I feel like I am constantly nagging him about spending money. Yes, I may be getting a little overwhelmed and obsessive but if we want to do this, we need to start saving. We keep talking about it but can't seam to start saving. Any suggestions on how I can get him to stop spending money without being a total nag??? PLEASE HELP! He does get a weekly allowance of $100.00 and has a credit card for gas for work. But just yesterday he transferred $100.00 from our savings to his account....

    Are you sure you both agreed?

    Anyhow, IVF costs significantly less everywhere else in the world. For 10,000 you could book a sweet trip to Italy and get $5000 IVF there.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    Also why would you WANT children? They are endless money pits!!! I thought people only had kids by accident nowadays?
  • JoanneLynn
    JoanneLynn Posts: 156 Member
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    Good luck! I am married to a spender too. We're retired and on a fixed income. He finds good deals and buy it even though he doesn't need it. It make the person feel good, just like when we eat when we're not hungry.
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
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    He is the one who mentioned getting an allowance of $100.00 a week. My allowance: ZERO. Honestly, all I do is buy groceries and gas. I'm not your average girl that goes shopping to buy clothes and shoes. Once in a blue moon I will.

    He goes through $100 a week in cash and isn't buying groceries/household items? Does he have a girlfriend?
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    My suggestion would be to create a 2nd savings account and set up an automatic transfer. Have it automatically transfer over an agreed upon amount every payday (or every month, whatever works better) with a clear understanding that there is NO withdrawing from that account, come hell or high water. That way the money isn't technically spendable to begin with.

    Thank you for a great idea!! I may have to do this. But, I think I will not grant him access to the account that way he wont be tempted to take any money out. I am sure he would be fine with this as well because he is wanting this as much as I do.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I have ING Direct accounts with an automatic transfer for special purposes like vacations and a new car. I can transfer the money at any time but it's an extra step and takes a couple of days to land in my account so it psychologically harder to spend.
  • melinda200208
    melinda200208 Posts: 525 Member
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    Good luck! I am married to a spender too. We're retired and on a fixed income. He finds good deals and buy it even though he doesn't need it. It make the person feel good, just like when we eat when we're not hungry.

    Thank You!
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Nevermind, this is a mess.

    dumpsterfire.gif
  • rachelg145
    rachelg145 Posts: 185 Member
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    You are not ready for IVF if you can't agree on finances. It's the least romantic time of your marriage and if you can't be completely in tune with each other before it starts you won't survive the process. My insurance paid out under 10K for everything for an entire round so don't let the dr. office charge you twice as much as they get from the insurance company just because you are an individual paying out of pocket. Most people donate back their extra medications, also, which may be available for you.

    I'm dying to know what your husband spends 5200/year on that doesn't involve both of you doing something together. And I still don't understand married people who have their own individual bank accounts. No secrets in a marriage - transparency is necessary if you guys are going to be successful at parenting together.

    Bring on the criticism, I don't care everyone. I'm honest even if it's a reality check.

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