Congratulating MFP friends who make bad choices

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Replies

  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    This is a bit of a problem around here.

    Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

    We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

    Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

    It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

    Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all :)

    OP- - -you want me to write to a friend they 'have fallen off the wagon' due to their food choices? Are you being serious? If they eat McDonald's or a slice of pizza is bad(yeah another day of labeling foods) I personally think you need to evaluate what you want to accomplish. If your friends read this and think this is what makes sense then have at it. If someone told me to make better choices if I had pizza we'd probably have a conversation of what makes sense for my diary and what I want from them. If you are concerned, maybe start with yourself and stop demonizing a food type, a certain company, etc. Maybe I sound grumpy, but at least I can accept people as they are, not how I think they ought to be.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,282 Member
    OP I'm not getting why saying "yummy day" is bad even if the day was way over calories and lots of junk food - I mean, it was yummy, wasnt it.
    That wouldnt be a false post by a friend.

    Anyway, Im another one who thinks pizza, Mcdonalds, whatever food you fancy, can be part of a balanced diet and part of a weight loss plan.......

    I dont agree that people want or need to be scolded if their diary includes such things.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
    This is why I come to MFP every day...

    ...the rational, well measured, not overly reactionary discussion.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Actually, I will keep doing that... because it's worth congratulating someone who can eat things in moderation.
  • Nige_Gsy
    Nige_Gsy Posts: 163 Member
    This is a bit of a problem around here.

    Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

    We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

    Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

    It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

    Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all :)

    I fail to see an issue with an occasional happy meal or slice of pizza if the rest of one's diet is nutritionally sound and within the correct calories. It is that sort of extreme, of cutting out all such things, that often leads people to failure. Personally, I am not that big on McDonalds and pizza, but many here have lost a lot of weight, become healthier and got to low bodyfat levels while eating ice cream, pizza and McDonalds, because they ensure that they meet their other nutritional requirements.

    Absolutely right ... If they're under target but with processed food that's fine because within target is the aim, learning "better choices" is often a secondary achievement that come from staying within target. Let's face it, target hitting is hard if all you eat is "junk food".

    So, for me, an occasional "treat" is absolutely fine, and will not make me get all Big Brother!
  • katevarner
    katevarner Posts: 884 Member
    I don't comment on food diaries anymore for this very reason. Not gonna preach unless someone specifically asks me for advice, but I don't ever "like" or comment on diary completion, under or over, and I don't even look at what people are eating anymore to help me resist the urge to say WTF. I'm on my own journey, still trying to figure out what is best for me. I don't really know anyone well enough to say what's best for you, at least no one on MFP. I save that advice for family members.
  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
    Disagree...not everyone is on here to because a fitness junkie or health nut. Some people are on here simply to lose weight and don't care about the rest. That's their choice and they're welcome to it. If they're going over their calorie goal every day, then I might comment, but other than that, McD it up!
  • mave34
    mave34 Posts: 109 Member
    I tend to be more hard on myself for little things like grabbing a slice of pizza for supper and my friends are quick to say...hey no big deal, log and move on. So for me, it's opposite, I personally feel I could potentially develop an unhealthy relationship with food if it wasn't for my friends saying "hey get over it, it's not the end of the world' If I was grabbing a mcChicken every day on my way home from work then I would hope someone would point that out too as a negative. (I refuse to eat Mcdonalds but occationally will hit up A&W) There has to be a realistic balance. It's life and it's living within a balance that is proper portions and a little bit of give and take on what we need and enjoy.

    Everyone is different and what works for some may not work for others. I would hope my friends support what works for me and I love that they cheer me on and give me a virtual slap when I feel like I had a bad day. For me it's motivating and I can pick and choose my friends here just like I would in the real world and so I would recommend if you haven't already, find a group of people who are as strict as you and share your views of what you should and shouldn't consume. JMO
  • wyattj99
    wyattj99 Posts: 454 Member
    I have had a few friends congrats me even on a bad day...it doesn't help. It just means to me they are not looking at my log.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them.

    Nope. My job is to write well and edit/proofread for others when asked. Sometimes I do other things, but I get paid for them.

    I do not get paid to critique anyone's eating habits.

    I am happy to do so if asked, and ONLY if asked.
  • steveyinasia
    steveyinasia Posts: 121 Member
    I think his connections just got a whole lot smaller.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Yeah.. no. Don't do that.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    This is a bit of a problem around here.

    Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

    We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

    Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

    It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

    Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all :)

    I fail to see an issue with an occasional happy meal or slice of pizza if the rest of one's diet is nutritionally sound and within the correct calories. It is that sort of extreme, of cutting out all such things, that often leads people to failure. Personally, I am not that big on McDonalds and pizza, but many here have lost a lot of weight, become healthier and got to low bodyfat levels while eating ice cream, pizza and McDonalds, because they ensure that they meet their other nutritional requirements.
    Yes, yes, yes to all of this.

    I've been seriously struggling to lose (it's 99.9% certainly a thyroid issue but that's a long story) and my doctor sent me to a dietician. She had absolutely no problem with my diary, which did include occasional junk food -- including pizza. Most days I eat extremely healthy, but sometimes the only thing in my diary for the day is pizza or a sub. because that day I wanted pizza or a sub. The other six days of the week are mostly fruits and vegetables with some healthy oils and eggs and dairy for protein or some whole grain pasta. I don't need someone criticizing me for enjoying a treat every once in a while.
  • Water_Gal
    Water_Gal Posts: 52 Member
    I agree with the OP on one point, I won't applaud people for going to McDonalds for lunch. Since most people are here on MFP to get support to change their weight and lifestyle they don't need to be criticized, but I am not going to 'support' and cheer people on when they are making poor food choices...even if it fits their macros.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I agree with the OP on one point, I won't applaud people for going to McDonalds for lunch. Since most people are here on MFP to get support to change their weight and lifestyle they don't need to be criticized, but I am not going to 'support' and cheer people on when they are making poor food choices...even if it fits their macros.

    Who are you to determine what's a "poor choice"???? The food police???
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    I agree with the OP on one point, I won't applaud people for going to McDonalds for lunch. Since most people are here on MFP to get support to change their weight and lifestyle they don't need to be criticized, but I am not going to 'support' and cheer people on when they are making poor food choices...even if it fits their macros.

    If it fits your macros, what makes it a "poor choice"?
  • Water_Gal
    Water_Gal Posts: 52 Member
    Does anyone honestly think a big Mac, large fry and coke is healthy? Stop trying to justify self destructive eating that causes obesity, it is an argument that can't be won. Successfully losing weight means eating nutritious foods without excessive calories, saturated fat and processed sugar. It is a simple formula that works when people learn to make better choices and stay out of the drive up lane. I am not the food police, I dont care if you eat it, but I won't applaud you for doing it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Does anyone honestly think a big Mac, large fry and coke is healthy?

    It's not necessarily something one should eat every day. But if you have a friend who eats 99% perfectly and one or two days a week has this meal while still losing weight and improving his or her health, you really think it's OK to criticize that?

    Most people are not going to take kindly to someone like you on their FL.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Does anyone honestly think a big Mac, large fry and coke is healthy? Stop trying to justify self destructive eating that causes obesity, it is an argument that can't be won. Successfully losing weight means eating nutritious foods without excessive calories, saturated fat and processed sugar. It is a simple formula that works when people learn to make better choices and stay out of the drive up lane. I am not the food police, I dont care if you eat it, but I won't applaud you for doing it.

    In the context of an otherwise healthy diet, yes. It has protein, fats and carbs. Maybe you need one for that hanger. :laugh:
  • _Tink_
    _Tink_ Posts: 3,845 Member

    We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them.

    It's not my "job" to criticize adults and tell them how to eat. My purpose here is not to encourage others - I'm here to work on MY health and nutrition. Frankly, I think it's great that people log everything, even if it's not the best day. Clearly they're aware of what they're eating and are conscientious enough to add it. And who says you can't eat fast food and pizza? If it fits with your dietary goals, go for it.

    P.S. If a "friend" on my list was criticizing my food choices and trying to tell me how to eat, they wouldn't stay on my list for long.
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  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    OP just assume everyone is here to get healthy.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    OP: I don't eat mcdonalds. I don't eat fast food. I don't eat much packaged convenience foods at all.

    I DON'T demand that my friends stop as well.

    I DON'T expect that my friends make the same food choices I do.

    In fact, I have friends who are keto, paleo, low carb, vegetarian, flexitarian, south beach, iifym, and just plain ole calorie counters.

    I don't tell any of them how to eat. If they ask questions, I offer suggestions. But even then, I try to consider THEIR approach to eating in my answer.

    Try it. It's much less stressful than freaking on what others eat.

    cheers
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    OP just assume everyone is here to get healthy.


    OP assumes that you can't be healthy while eating the occasional pizza or McDonalds.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    Does anyone honestly think a big Mac, large fry and coke is healthy? Stop trying to justify self destructive eating that causes obesity, it is an argument that can't be won. Successfully losing weight means eating nutritious foods without excessive calories, saturated fat and processed sugar. It is a simple formula that works when people learn to make better choices and stay out of the drive up lane. I am not the food police, I dont care if you eat it, but I won't applaud you for doing it.

    Overeating and being lazy causes obesity. I'm making ice cream and brownies right now and plan to eat some of both today, I guess I won't be successful.
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  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Does anyone honestly think a big Mac, large fry and coke is healthy? Stop trying to justify self destructive eating that causes obesity, it is an argument that can't be won. Successfully losing weight means eating nutritious foods without excessive calories, saturated fat and processed sugar. It is a simple formula that works when people learn to make better choices and stay out of the drive up lane. I am not the food police, I dont care if you eat it, but I won't applaud you for doing it.

    I don't see how it's unhealthy if it's in the context of an overall healthy diet and in moderation. Also there's something to be said for mental health and enjoyment of one's food. Not to say that what you would call healthy food isn't enjoyable, but some days a person just wants a burger and all the ground turkey on a whole wheat bun in the world just isn't going to cut it.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Sometimes just the act of logging it is reason enough to say good job. It means that they are able to be accountable and honest for it, even if it means showing they went over on their calories. Some people keep open diaries but don't log everything to avoid judgement from people like the OP. While I don't understand the logic in that, I have seen it happen.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    OP just assume everyone is here to get healthy.


    OP assumes that you can't be healthy while eating the occasional pizza or McDonalds.

    OP eats between 1100-1300 calories. He has no clue what eating healthy means.

    OP tsk tsk. Take a long look at your diary first buddy. 1300 calories how much weight you trying to lose a week? 4 pounds very healthy right. Maybe it is three pounds. Still that's very healthy right?
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Shoot, Monday & Tuesday I had Arby's for lunch and yesterday I had Taco Bell, Pizza and Cupcakes. Today there will be more cupcakes eaten (Birthdays and all that).

    OP, you assume alot. You know what happens when you assume, right? :flowerforyou:

    Seriously though, there's nothing wrong with any of those foods. It's called moderation. Although, my version of moderation at the moment may be skewed a slight bit due to pregnancy cravings and all that, but I don't go hog wild eating 3000 calories over what by body (and baby) needs. And with that, I say that not all of us are here to lose weight. I'm certainly not losing weight since I'm growing a human being. Just because someone is on myfitnesspal doesn't mean they're here for the same reason you are. Sure, I started out with losing weight, but that's not where I'm at in my life right now. There are other people here that are bulking, other's just watching their macros, etc. You can still eat fast food and be healthy. Stop labeling foods as good and bad. That's a good way to have a poor relationship with food.
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