Why did the person above you dump you?

I look too innocent

She said I ate like a child.

How would I know? Your diary is closed.

He didn't like it when I tried to eat his thighs because they look so delicious.

I look too innocent

I have been known to change that.

Because she ALWAYS has gas from her "healthy diet" and denies farting in her sleep so I recorded her nightly explosions and used a lighter to set one aflame as proof, burning down the curtains and the sheets her mother gave us for the wedding.

Look, baby, I am trying to prepare the next person who takes you in. It was not easy!! I mean, you killed the parakeet the night we had Chinese takeout AFTER a Mexican lunch!!!

Look, baby, I am trying to prepare the next person who takes you in. It was not easy!! I mean, you killed the parakeet the night we had Chinese takeout AFTER a Mexican lunch!!!

LMFAO!!!!
I do miss Skeeter

I was fed up with all the Reptiles and Amphibians!

I couldn't stand kissing a frog, totally a turn off, oh and the bird...disappeared

Hilarious, the real pic is so vertical, don't know what's up with mfp.
she told me vertical was her thing, it was kinda mutual

Didn't approve of our age gap!

She wanted me to wake up from my nap on the couch.

He had hair that wouldn't stay down ^_^ I was jealous

Dunno. Every time I'd ask, I gotta glass of water in the face. :grumble:

I spilled red wine on her white sofa.

I drew googly eyes on her sunglasses.