Weight Loss opposite sex attention?

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  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
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    Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »
    EskimoMark wrote: »
    Hey guys, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Why is it that girls tend to only recognize skinny people or athletic people as dating material? I honestly believe that once I lose weight I Will have trust issues. I have a friend named Gunnar, he went from 370 to 205 pounds in about a year, and suddenly girls who originally rejected him now are begging to go back to him.

    How the hell do I deal with that? I don't think I can date a girl once I'm skinny because I know she likes me for my apperance. If she liked my personality, she could've went for me when I was fat.

    You must be new to the world, so I'm going to let you in on a little secret. People have to find each other physically attractive in some way or another in order for any kind of dating relationship to occur. Your sparkling personality is probably suffering in some manner from the craptastic attitude that you have, and I guarantee that anyone who comes into contact with you will pick up on that attitude before anything else, whether you lose weight or not.

    ETA - Since the OP deactivated, one could assume that he was either a troll or that he didn't get the answers that he wanted. Either way... where's the Snickers?

    Yup, I'm guessing "I don't want to date you because of your weight" is actually easier then, "I don't want to date you because you have a creepy woman hating negative vibe that makes my skin crawl."
  • Hikarika
    Hikarika Posts: 5 Member
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    EskimoMark wrote: »
    sentaruu wrote: »
    BusyRaeNOTBusty wrote: »
    So, would you date a 300lb woman?

    as long as she completed college.. because he obviously is prejudice against uneducated people.

    That's my only thing I ask for. That isn't picky at all. Compared to that one girl who listed about 10 things I need to just have a chance IS picky.

    I finished college and actually enjoyed it. However, this is a silly requirement to have. The wealthiest and most worldly people I know are either college drop-outs or never attended. What does dating a college graduate get you necessarily, besides a higher chance of marrying into student loan debt?
  • StrawberryJam40
    StrawberryJam40 Posts: 274 Member
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    I don't find it a negative and can't wait to be noticed. I think it's like picking the book because of the cover to find it to be a great read. Or picking the candy by the pretty wrapper and finding it sweet. It's not that some won't just pick the brown paper bag or plain cover, but it opens up more opportunities for someone to find out what's inside of me. But, even if it is attraction because of the wrapping, if it is still a terrible piece of candy or a hard to read book...the packaging no longer matters.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    EskimoMark wrote: »
    Hey guys, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Why is it that girls tend to only recognize skinny people or athletic people as dating material? I honestly believe that once I lose weight I Will have trust issues. I have a friend named Gunnar, he went from 370 to 205 pounds in about a year, and suddenly girls who originally rejected him now are begging to go back to him.

    How the hell do I deal with that? I don't think I can date a girl once I'm skinny because I know she likes me for my apperance. If she liked my personality, she could've went for me when I was fat.

    Lol. You must be 19.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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    QueenBishOTUniverse wrote: »
    Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »
    EskimoMark wrote: »
    Hey guys, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Why is it that girls tend to only recognize skinny people or athletic people as dating material? I honestly believe that once I lose weight I Will have trust issues. I have a friend named Gunnar, he went from 370 to 205 pounds in about a year, and suddenly girls who originally rejected him now are begging to go back to him.

    How the hell do I deal with that? I don't think I can date a girl once I'm skinny because I know she likes me for my apperance. If she liked my personality, she could've went for me when I was fat.

    You must be new to the world, so I'm going to let you in on a little secret. People have to find each other physically attractive in some way or another in order for any kind of dating relationship to occur. Your sparkling personality is probably suffering in some manner from the craptastic attitude that you have, and I guarantee that anyone who comes into contact with you will pick up on that attitude before anything else, whether you lose weight or not.

    ETA - Since the OP deactivated, one could assume that he was either a troll or that he didn't get the answers that he wanted. Either way... where's the Snickers?

    Yup, I'm guessing "I don't want to date you because of your weight" is actually easier then, "I don't want to date you because you have a creepy woman hating negative vibe that makes my skin crawl."

    I see a lot of pepper spraying and restraining orders in this guy's future.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Just to be honest, looks are a very important factor for me.
  • Icandoityayme
    Icandoityayme Posts: 312 Member
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    Men are certainly not the only one who has this issue. It isn't a gender thing. If you really want to go that route, women will accept a bigger man long before a man will accept a bigger woman. Big men are viewed as strong or whatever, big women are viewed as lazy and sit on the couch watching oprah and eating bon bons and are disgusting. I have seen this happen way too many times. Life is full of stereotypes. How you choose to handle that is up to you.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    Icandoityayme wrote: »
    Men are certainly not the only one who has this issue. It isn't a gender thing. If you really want to go that route, women will accept a bigger man long before a man will accept a bigger woman. Big men are viewed as strong or whatever, big women are viewed as lazy and sit on the couch watching oprah and eating bon bons and are disgusting. I have seen this happen way too many times. Life is full of stereotypes. How you choose to handle that is up to you.

    But when does a woman become a "big" woman? It's kind of subjective I guess. I had no problem getting men at 163 pounds. But I guess that's a big difference from over 200.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    I'm not going to join in the attitude bashing, but I will point out that in some ways it is a defense mechanism. They want to marry (I know you are not talking marriage here but ultimately, that would be on their mind as a possibility), somebody who they feel will be alive and not incapable of raising their family in 10-20 years...
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,544 Member
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    EskimoMark wrote: »
    cakebatter07 wrote: »
    There's no point in dating someone if you're not physically attracted to them. Personality matters A LOT, but there has to be attraction too. You can't help who you're attracted to, so don't get all butthurt at girls.

    While I agree here, males are more willing to lower standards to date someone. Women want a Brad Pitt or some supermodel and do not settle for less.

    Right, guys never judge a girl they will date based on her appearance. LOL
  • lilyann001
    lilyann001 Posts: 75 Member
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    Eskimo Mark:

    When I was thinner I definitely got more looks from guys. I have had guys comment on my acne before, about my hair style, about my clothing style. There are some guys that are more picky and some guys that are less picky.

    I know men who are severally obese and are happily married. If all women are superficial than how did that happen?

    Have you asked every single girl who has rejected you if it is because of your weight or have a few girls explained to you what the reason was and made an assumption about all the girls who have rejected you?

    I have had guys who I've decided weren't the right fit for me and the guys became very resentful about me saying 'no.' It is my right as a person to say 'no.' It's as if the guy was expecting something and I crushed their ego to say 'no' but should I just lie and pretend I'm interested in him just because it would hurt his feelings otherwise? Am I automatically superficial because I didn't want to date him? Even if it was his weight, it is my right to decide who I want to date or not and I don't owe to date him just so he can feel better about himself. Do you feel like the girls who weren't interested in you should lie or tell you the truth?

    I have had guys who have rejected me before. It hurts and easy to feel resentful about it. Instead I moved on.

    Do you seem desperate when dating girls? I remember a guy in high school who seriously tried to ask out every single girl in my group and other girls outside my group. It was a turn-off for all the girls because it felt like he just wanted to date anyone rather than like the particular girl for her personality.

    A big thing that has helped me in dating is confidence and love for myself. I have found a lot of guys are attracted to confidence because they don't want someone who depends on their partner and have to constantly build them up. I can tell you that girls are also into confidence and love for yourself. Being single for me was a good time for me to build on myself and to find out more about myself and what I want in a man. You wrote about how you could basically date any girl as long as she is trying to finish college. This can be a time for you to build yourself up. Build in confidence and love for yourself. If you feel the need to date a girl to feel worthy of yourself, that is a sign you need to build in confidence.

    Here is a good youtube video I thought you should watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xHp5iTtWRc
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    You just wrote all that for no one since the OP was a troll, but maybe the right person who needs it will stumble across it.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    You just wrote all that for no one since the OP was a troll, but maybe the right person who needs it will stumble across it.
    :lol:

  • SheBeButLittleSheisFierce
    SheBeButLittleSheisFierce Posts: 690 Member
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    This topic is funny for me. I've not read all the comments so forgive me if I'm redundant, however, you act as though it isn't the same the other way around. I've been fluffy for most of my adult life and I know full well what the stereo typical guy goes for, but I'm losing weight for me. It is certainly not to "get a man". I'm happy with where I'm going and how my body is improving and if I get more attention because if it, it will make me smile. I will choose to date a guy if we click....in all ways, not just because he's cute.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Interesting thread.
  • prime853
    prime853 Posts: 519
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    vanillatinypretty wrote: »
    This topic is funny for me. I've not read all the comments so forgive me if I'm redundant, however, you act as though it isn't the same the other way around. I've been fluffy for most of my adult life and I know full well what the stereo typical guy goes for, but I'm losing weight for me. It is certainly not to "get a man". I'm happy with where I'm going and how my body is improving and if I get more attention because if it, it will make me smile. I will choose to date a guy if we click....in all ways, not just because he's cute.

    best post ive seen

    you should be working out and improving yourself for you, not for anyone else
    attention from others is an added bonus, no more
  • MsHarryWinston
    MsHarryWinston Posts: 1,027 Member
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