Is Partying Worth It?
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malavika413 wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »
Dude, you're a full time university student. You have two married parents who are probably supporting you. You are of normal weight. You assumedly have good health. You describe having a quality boyfriend who values you. And your major concern expressed in this thread is whether or not to go to a party.malavika413 wrote: »The point is, I'm really not all that young. I'm an adult and I already hate it. In 10 years I'm going to be even more jaded.
Yeah. Don't worry. Someday life may actually throw you a curveball or expect you to solve a real problem. Or something. <OMG>
THIS!!!!!!
My frustration wasn't in respect to the party. I'm not that self-centered.
Yeah ok. :laugh:
I'm neurotic, yes. Annoying, yes. Self-centered? I don't think so, but then again you don't know me from anything other than this thread.
There's just a lot of things pulling me in different directions. It's not so much about the party than the kind of person I want to be. Here, there's a sharp division between those who party and those who don't. For instance, I'm in a dance show and the leader asked everyone what kind of drinks they wanted. Naive me asked for a bottled water and everyone burst out laughing. It was quite embarrassing. So that part of me says 'get shitfaced like everyone else!' But I wouldn't be able to bear the disappointed look on my boyfriend's face if I admitted to drinking even a little.
I wish I had these kind of problems... :yawn:
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Oh my god, loosen up and go to a party. Try alcohol. Dump your overprotective bf.0
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And for the record, you don't have to be one type of person. You can go to a party and get shitfaced one night, and work hard the next. Just do what you want to do.
I'm not saying you have to love partying or drinking. It might not be your thing. But you won't know if you don't try.
Plus- better to get it out of your system now rather than have a mid-life crisis. Do your partying (in moderation ) at the age you're supposed to or you might regret it.0 -
I think you should be honest with your BF about wanting to go to a college party just to see what it is like. You shouldn't let him control you so you need to feel you have to hide anything from him. Go with a trusted girlfriend(s). If you have never touched alcohol, perhaps this isn't the place to experiment, just for safety's sake. Wear whatever you want to wear that makes you feel good about yourself. Be smart. Be safe. Do what YOU want to do. Live un-apologetically and don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful time!
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ALWAYS PARTY0
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malavika413 wrote: »
Additionally, I'm not sure what the boundary is in dressing 'cute', and dressing 'like a slut'. I feel I'd make a mistake if I tried, so I tend to stick to sweaters.
also fyi there's no such thing as "dressing like a slut" k thanks bye0 -
amy0louise wrote: »Oh my god, loosen up and go to a party. Try alcohol. Dump your overprotective bf.
I don't want to dump him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!0 -
malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »Oh my god, loosen up and go to a party. Try alcohol. Dump your overprotective bf.
I don't want to dump him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Even though he doesn't let you make any decisions for yourself? Sounds great....0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »
Even though he doesn't let you make any decisions for yourself? Sounds great....
this. everyone's gotta be free to make their own decisions. one side doing everything isn't a relationship its a dictatorship, no offense.
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TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »Oh my god, loosen up and go to a party. Try alcohol. Dump your overprotective bf.
I don't want to dump him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Even though he doesn't let you make any decisions for yourself? Sounds great....
Once again, he has never forbidden me from doing anything. He merely expressed his opinions regarding partying and alcohol. In fact, he's a lot less protective than some guys I know. I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?0 -
ok TLDR for this whole thread--- you will grow up one day..... sorry but it's true0
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amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
well I'm just saying that's not at all normal.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »Oh my god, loosen up and go to a party. Try alcohol. Dump your overprotective bf.
I don't want to dump him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Even though he doesn't let you make any decisions for yourself? Sounds great....
Once again, he has never forbidden me from doing anything. He merely expressed his opinions regarding partying and alcohol. In fact, he's a lot less protective than some guys I know. I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
How is you having a drink... Not getting *kitten* faced, just having a drink or 2.... How is that going to disappoint him?0 -
amy0louise wrote: »Experimenting with alcohol is good! You get to learn your limits.
I like you on a personal level but on a professional level ummm haha!~
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malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
I have never asked my husbands permission to do anything.... That's not how relationships should work.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »amy0louise wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »I danced on stage yesterday and there was a booty-shaking part to the dance, and ALL his friends were saying "how could you let her do that? Don't you have any control over her?!" And he said "It's her life, her body, her decision. I thought she looked great on stage and I was happy to be there to support her."
The decisions are always mine--I just don't want to disappoint him because he's always so good to me.
"control over her"???? who the hell is he friends with?!!?
His friends? Typical teenage boys. I know at least 2 girls that dropped out of the dance because their boyfriends said no. I don't have a boyfriend like that. Sure, I asked him first if it was okay, but I'm pretty sure most people do that.
Not in my experience. I can't recall a single time I asked a boyfriend if it was ok with him to pursue something I enjoyed. I can't think of a single time in 11 years of marriage in which I've asked my husband if I can do something outside the context of "do you know of any scheduling conflicts and/or can you watch the kids or do I need to arrange for childcare while I'm doing it."
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tbh if you're on here asking for advice you should probably take a hard look at if the relationship's worth it.0
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Lame... so no party after all.0
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