I grant then ruin someone's wish...

Granted: You are now the most popular guy in the world. Everyone wants to be just like you. So much so that we have all evolved into YvetteDem and there is no originality in the world anymore. You get tired of living in a world of clones.

I wish that canned soup didn't have so much sodium.

cblue315 wrote: »

Granted, no sodium, but then no flavor either.

I wish I had Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.

Granted, you wield the Lasso of Truth as the new protector of your city, donning a spectacular costume and patrolling the night with the vigilance of a hawk. Your first crime scene is an armed robbery, into which you throw yourself with gusto! You burst upon the scene and lasso the lead perp with ease. You strike an intimating pose as you allow the Lasso to work its magic and ask the perp "What are your nefarious plans, evil-doer!?" The perp replies, "To shoot you and take this money. Kill her, boys!"

Your Lasso of Truth does nothing to slow the hail of bullets. But you got an honest answer.

I wish I could dance a dream into the daylight.

Granted, the madness of trying to untangle the psychotic break that is my mind drives you insane. You've got a nice new jacket that fits snugly around you as you hug yourself and the room has beds on the walls so the repeated head banging that you need for relief from the demons doesn't scar your pretty face too much.

I wish the darkness weren't so cold, nor the whispers so loud...

Granted: Jay wakes up, in between you & MaxPower. What exactly did you kids get up to last night? I know you are all just friends, but boundaries, people. They exist. Now, which one of you makes the pancakes in this scenario?

Wish: they weren't out of maple syrup.

Granted, you have a lot of clever things to say but you speak an unknown language so no one can appreciate what you say.

I wish I spent last night with a young lady instead of being alone in my hotel room.

Granted, you feel productive with one hour sleep, however your body does not actually function properly on that little sleep.

I wish for this snow to stop and warm temperatures to come back.

Granted, I have cooked you a delicious breakfast but it's here in Philly and your not -- oh well, I guess I'll eat it for you.

I still wish for warm (not hot) weather.

Granted, you get your spa day -- your massage is being done by Helga who weighs 450 lbs. and has the strength and body odor of a gorilla. Your makeup is being done by Mim Bobeck from the Drew Carey show, and they offer a special lunch break of sliced cucumbers with a glass of refreshing iced water. Hope you have enjoyed your day.

I wish I could get fit just by thinking about it.

Granted, you have the ability to make them into topiaries but each time you use that power you shrink by 6" -- soon you'll be looking up at the world.

I wish I was fantastically wealthy.

Granted, your hair and makeup are done for you by Mimi from the Drew Carey show every day.

I wish I had abs of steel.

Granted, things now come to you very easily, however they are Thing 1 and Thing 2 from the Dr. Seuss books.

I wish I was a fast runner.

Granted, you are now smarter than anyone else in the world, but everyone else is so stupid that you can't make yourself understood by them.

I wish I could go on an all expenses paid cruise.

Granted, as you're walking down the street you notice something green and sparkling on the sidewalk. You approach it, it jumps up and enters your skull, eats your brain and makes you glow green. You are now a living green lantern controlled by an unknown being. Enjoy.

I wish I had a big boat.

Granted: You're fired. Stay home Monday while you are at it....

I wish pizza and wings were carb and calorie free

Granted: chores do them selves because all inanimate objects now have life. We are all freaking out. Thanks, dude. The toaster is trying to kill me.

Wish: I could defeat the toaster