Lame Jokes. And I mean REALLY lame.

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Replies

  • danielabe1985
    danielabe1985 Posts: 1,582 Member
    not sure if it has been done but it is my fav
    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh???
    Ten tickles
  • whitneysin
    whitneysin Posts: 605 Member
    edited March 2015
    danielabe1985 wrote: »
    not sure if it has been done but it is my fav
    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh???
    Ten tickles

    I love that! ^

    A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "why the long face?"
  • AgentOrangeJuice
    AgentOrangeJuice Posts: 1,069 Member
    Who cleans up the Sea?

    Mer-maids.
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    Texasgntlman wrote: »
    There is a whole list of jokes about a guy with no arms and no legs: I'll start it and you can ad too it.
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of the door? -Matt
    What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the lake? -Bob
    What do you call a man with no arms and legs beside a hole in the ground? -Doug

    What do you call a man with no arms and legs hanging on the wall? - Art
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    Rivers2k wrote: »
    This one might get me beat up.

    Why does a woman where white on their wedding day. So they can match the other kitchen appliances.

    I don't really believe this please don't hurt me.

    I shouldn't be encouraging this, but:

    Why are women's feet smaller than men's? To stand closer to the sink
  • markiend
    markiend Posts: 461 Member
    what does DNA stand for ?






    national dyslexic association
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    They did a study to find out why when geese fly in their "V" formation one side's longer than the other. Do you know why?


    There's more geese on that side.
  • johhunt47
    johhunt47 Posts: 30 Member
    Two blondes walked into a bar...the brunette ducked
  • johhunt47
    johhunt47 Posts: 30 Member
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean...Bob
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in front of a door...Matt
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall...Art
  • ShifuYaku
    ShifuYaku Posts: 504 Member
    So the worst joke I ever read on a Laffy Taffy wrapper was:

    "what do you get when you mix a fly, a car, and a pet?"

    "a flying carpet"

    :|:#
  • raisealittlehell
    raisealittlehell Posts: 341 Member
    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground Beef
  • Nuka_Gina
    Nuka_Gina Posts: 92 Member
    What do you get when you mix poison ivy with a four leaf clover???




    A rash of good luck!!!
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
    What did the fish say when he bumped into a wall?



    Dam(n). :D
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
    In for lame jokes :smile:
  • kr1stadee
    kr1stadee Posts: 1,774 Member
    The jokes that my 5 year old think are THE best ever!

    "Wanna hear a joke? ... I fart you choke"
    followed immediately by
    "wanna hear another? ... I fart you smother"

    And this, ladies and gentlemen, is my dainty princess LOL
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    A baby seal walks into a club.

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    A man sees a dog licking its privates and says "Man, I wish I could do that."
    His friend replies, "Maybe you should pet him first."
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    What has 8 legs and 8 eyes?

    8 Pirates
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    A priest, rabbi and minister walk in to a bar .. the bartender says "what is this, some kind of joke?"

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    Old woman tells old man right before having sex "Remember, I have acute angina."
    Deaf old man replies, "I hope so, cuz your boobs have seen better days."
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    Old woman yells at old man. "Hey, do you want super sex?"
    Old man replies. "I'll take the soup."
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    tincanonastring wrote: »
    A horse walks into the bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

    lol, I was going to add that one.

    What does Meryl Streep do with her Academy awards?
    I dunno, I'll Oscar.

    (I saw that on Ellen's Facebook)

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    tjcuipylo wrote: »
    how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

    Ten!
    Ten tickles.

    Brilliant.
  • xMrBunglex
    xMrBunglex Posts: 1,121 Member
    What do you call 53 guys watching the Super Bowl on TV?






    The Denver Broncos
  • mikeshockley
    mikeshockley Posts: 684 Member
    String walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey! Get out! We don't serve your kind!"

    String leaves, ruffles his ends and ties himself in the middle. Walks back into the bar. Bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string I just told to leave?" String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot".

    :p
  • Evenstranger
    Evenstranger Posts: 69 Member
    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.
  • nanaoftwo0614
    nanaoftwo0614 Posts: 59 Member
    An airplane pilot said, "If we have a bad landing, it's not the co-pilots fault, it's not the stewardesses fault, it's the ASPHALT!
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    haleklausen wrote: »
    A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street. The priest sees a twelve year old boy walking to the corner. The priest says lets *kitten* him. The Rabbi says oughta what?

    OH! "out of what?" Got it.

  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    Rivers2k wrote: »
    How does an ethnocentric person change a light bulb. They hold up the light bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them :smile:


    :(
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?



    A Brazilian

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