200+ Summer Meltdown!

Crystal- this thread started in October of 2009. In December of 2009 I found out my husband was cheating on me. He had been cheating on me for months, had several emotional affairs and slept with one of them (well, he never admitted to having physical relations with more than one). It tore me apart. I moved out but was willing to give counseling a chance. He had gone out and bought himself a little netbook (I took the laptop when I left) because he said he needed it to "pay his bills." I told him he'd lose all privacy on it and secretly put a keystroke logger program on it. Four days later (Christmas Eve actually) I went to check the keystroke logger. While he was telling me how I was so beautiful and he missed me and he loved me and he wanted me back, he would flip screens and tell his wh0re$ how much he loved them, all the sexual things he wanted to do with them.

Bottom line- I deserve better. It HURT. But I left him. Because I DESERVE BETTER. He may say all the right words, but it sounds like there is a serious trust issue with your guy. Especially since he's a repeat offender. I know you love him and he's the father of your daughter, but you need to show your daughter how a "good" relationship is supposed to work. Not that the mom does everything she can to chase after the affections of the dad while the dad is half-in the relationship.

If your guy knows you are only trying to manipulate him into staying for good, he still has the power. Every girl deserves to be "chased" in a relationship. Find the one who can't live without you. Being alone sucks, trust me, I know. But I'd rather be alone than be treated like *kitten*.

We are here for you hun and you are NOT alone. If you go trolling through the boards, you will find HUNDREDS of other women here who have the exact same story as you.

Crystal: Listen to Kendal. She said it WAY better than I ever could.

Kendal: You are an amazing and strong woman. You deserve to be chased.

Nava: I'm glad the hair looks FAB!!

mrslrichard: A change in the fit of your pants is AWESOME!!

Lacey: It sounds like a busy weekend for you. Get some sleep to head off your cold. You wanna be at 100% when you start P90X.

Well, it's almost 7pm here and I can say that I officially survived the weekend!! Weekends are HORRIBLE for me. I always go over my calories and I tend to get lax with the exercise but I did GREAT this weekend. I won't even get pissed off if the scale is mean to me tomorrow. (Total effin' lie there, I'll TOTALLY get pissed off)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm running on 87 minutes of sleep right now! Bahahahahahha.....PROM WAS AMAZING! When we were taking photos last night I was thinking of this group! I was thinking of this group because EVERYONE here helped me make it possible for my dress to be altered FOUR TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Camera died after one picture so I'll have to figure out how to post a picture on here later on.

Before I forget, I'm skipping weigh in this weekend because TOM came on Wednesday but I haven't worked out much so I'm not going to step on the scale until post-Tom.

Victoria: I love my job! It's so fun teaching little kids how to swim (and sometimes when I teach adults too!). It's very rewarding job for me instead of something in retail or the food industry. Prom was so much fun! Thanks for telling me the end date of the challenge--I just couldn't figure it out for the life of me!

Amy: The post about your hubby's cast put a little smile on my face. When you had you venting post it I hope you know how amazing that is to lose all the weight! At least the second year you didn't lose only 5 lbs., (or some small number) every pound counts!

Kendal: Your photos are so BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I read your post about the bar, beers, guy, and the bull. Hahahaha, I would love to see that video evidence! WTG on the weight loss!

Kristina: You are one of my heroes! Running 8 miles is amazing! I can hardly do one! Please let me in on your secret to success!

Kerry: Thank you! I did have fun! Did you like boarding school? I'm so happy I have amazing friends that didn't want to do the usual prom shenanigans. In our town it's all about drugs, sex, alcohol, drugs, sex, and did I mention alcohol? That's cool that you still got a form of prom though!

Lacey: I agree with you that prom is the beginning of the end of high school. I just enjoyed the night for what it was and didn't worry about anything else! Yes, we went to a nice dinner before hand! Do you know what The Melting Pot is? It's amazing! The Melting Pot is where we had dinner! I'm so happy I stayed under calories this entire prom weekend! Saturday morning started at 6 a.m. and we didn't get home until Sunday (today) around 8:30 a.m. I'm ready for some much needed ZzzzZzzzZzzz's! A mountain bike race sounds like fun! You're going to Scottsdale for vacation? I love it down there! I want to live there, ASU, In-N-Out, and The Elephant Bar are all my favorite things down there!

I going to PASS on the weighin this week... as the two last weeks have been about poor choices, hardly any exercise & not enough sleep. My body is in shock & I do not want to shock my mind with weighing myself:sad: I am going to be back here tomorrow & hope to take the rest of the week in getting back on track.

Sorry have not had the chance to read the posts.. but i am falling of the chair as my bed is calling me & my whole body hurts.

Know that I am right there with you, believe in you & admire you. In spite of all the ups & down's in your lives... you all have great spirits & are sooo inspirational:flowerforyou: . Keep up the good work & I will be back to being human again tomorrow:drinker:

Suzie

turned into a very lazy weekend but at least I didn't pig out. Calories were basically in check. Didn't log but kept a mental count.

I'm weighing in this week at 198.6 (it's only down 0.6 pounds but it's way better than what the scale said on Friday).

Welcome Jennifer!

Kendal: My Sundays are mostly lazy but at least this weekend I lowered my calorie consumption to meet the lack of movement. Way to keep your calories in check!

Noelle - Congrats on retiring the jeans! I can't wait to retire my first set of clothes. I hope you had a good weekend with your mom.

Lacey - Sometimes the best moments with the other half are the quiet moments spent together. My partner and I don't get those very often because of our schedules and I treasure the one's we do get. I'm glad to hear Gracie is feeling better and hopefully it won't knock you out for too long.

Hallie - I'm so glad you had a great time with prom!

Jennifer - Welcome and congrats on the weight loss so far!

Sunday check-in - 2126 cal burned/1441 cal consumed/685 cal deficit, rest day so no workout.

I may finally have motivated my partner to join me at the gym. As of 30 min ago she still wants to go to Zumba class when we get off work in the morning. Fingers crossed her night stays not busy so she'll still feel up to it. I, on the other hand, would like to just go home, take some pain killers, and snuggle up to the heating pad. I'm having some major low back pain right now. I'm pretty sure it's pre-TOM and I've had it since Thursday. I'm so ready to start just so the pain goes away.

Quick check-in for Sunday... 2344 burned and 2354 consumed. My only exercise was riding the lawn mower for 90 min to do the.backyard - I burned 350 cals so I'll take it. You know it's a good day when you try the tractor which spent all winter outside and it starts on the first try!!! Sorry no time to respond to everyone...

Happy monday, all!!!! *grumble*grumble*

Okay, we're going to go with Friday's weigh-in as my weekends are just god awful and I think Fridays are my best representation. 223.8

By the way, you know those MiO ads on the side there? I bought some this weekend (peach mango) and it's actually quite tasty.

Well exactly as I expected, I missed all kinds of action on here over the weekend. My coworker is on vaca this week, so I might be pretty sparse all week since I have twice the normal workload. (ick)

I am not going to even begin to try to respond to everyone, but I did want to take a second for Crystal. I know you've already gotten some amazing advice from other girls on here, but I just wanted to put my two sense in also.
I haven't been cheated on by an ex before, but I very much know what its like to be in a relationship where my worth wasn't valued. My ex, who actually proposed to me and I turned down, was extremely emotionally abusive.... I spent the majority of the time in the relationship thinking I was too fat, too clumsy, too ignorant, etc... and all just because of what he said to me and the way he treated me. Its a vicious cycle, because then you start to believe that you are getting what you deserve or will never find anyone better out there who will actually love you back. I think the big thing I can say to you Crystal is be strong. Be strong for you, and have confidence and faith in the incredible woman that you are, and amazing things will come. And Kendall is right, you should get chased. Because you deserve that. When Chris and I first started dating he showed up at my job every day for 8 days straight during Hannukah with gifts for me. And neither of us are Jewish. He just said that it seemed like an awesome excuse to buy me stuff. And to this day, 5 years later, he still looks at me and treats me like I'm something incredible. So a lot of times I feel like I'm something incredible! And I wouldn't have ever had that or found that if I had stayed with my ex, which I was very close to doing because I wasn't sure of my worth. The only other thing I can say is trust is an absolute must to have in a relationship, and once its gone, getting it back is d@mned near impossible. So be careful there. And just know that we are all here for you, and will be here with you through this. You have do have faith that the thing that is best for you is still out there, and that you deserve to find it.

Phew. That's my schpeel.

Amy, I'm glad to hear that you are seeing all the amazing progress you have made, even if the scale doesn't care to reflect it. Your ability to stay positive and strong is so inspirational, and it makes me really proud of you. (that's weird to say, I know. But I don't know how else to convey how much you impress me).

My weekend was C-R-A-Z-Y. Way too much drinking on Friday night.... we got to Chicago around 10, had some drinks at the apartment, and then walked to a private karaoke lounge.... so you get a private room for you and your friends to sing karaoke. And it is trouble... we were there until 2:30 and then still up until like 5:30. It was fun... my throat still hurts from all the singing/yelling on Friday night. On Saturday night we went a French restaurant called Cafe Absinthe... so good. Seriously, like lick-up-the-sauce-from-my-plate-cuz-I-don't-want-to-miss-a-drop good. We also did some shopping in Lakeview, mostly because my favorite hat store is there. I like hats the way most girls like shoes. I'm addicted.

Obviously I didn't work out on Saturday but I had doubled up P90X last week in preparation for it. Last night we got home around 8:30 and I mustered up the gumption to do Kenpo while Chris tended to the laundry, so I'm back on track. Did X Stretch this morning and will hopefully be mowing the lawn this afternoon if the weather cooperates, and then tomorrow I start recovery week for month 2.

Ok, lots of work to get to. Have a great day girls!

Nava - Thank you so much, you are a doll. New or not your support means everything. *hugs*

Amy - Yea, we've tried the whole "only talk about Charlotte" deal and somehow it always gets awkward and then we start talking about us. I wish it was as easy done as said.

Hailie - I'm so glad you enjoyed prom! Can't wait to see the pics. :happy:

Welcome Jennifer! You found the right group of gals going through the exact same struggles and we're always here for ya!

Karen - Thank you, I'm hoping with some time, a lot of shoulders to lean on, vent to, cry on, and a lotta gym time to keep myself occupied and working towards this goal will make things easier in the long run. *hugs*

Kerry - At times I know I deserve better but you're right. I fall right back into that same mentality time and time again that maybe this is what I deserve, the best I can get, and so on. It's hard to break that cycle when you're so convinced that it's the truth. And no matter how much I try to tell myself otherwise, it's hard to TRULY convince yourself until you feel ready to believe it I suppose. I have been going to counselling and as much as I do love him, I think a lot of my issues boil down to my own self-esteem and fear of having a broken family. I realize that those are not good reasons to continue trying to force a relationship and I've been trying to get over that but what I went through in my childhood (constant fighting, custody battles, etc), I fear that we'll just perpetuate that. I *KNOW* things can be different, but right now it's so hard for me to see. *sigh*

I love you all and thank you SO much for being my interweb shoulders. Lol.

I've been doing pretty well on the weight loss front. I think I confused myself with weigh in times so I'm just going to wait 'til next weigh in (although I was still down another 2 lbs as of last week :happy: ) I re-adjusted my goals to 150 lbs and it knocked my daily calories to 1280... I think I might die, lol. On the bright side, if I ever want to eat again, it just means I better get my @$$ moving! Hahaha.

I'm torn lately because I want to lose this weight as quickly as possible (who doesn't) but I worry that pushing myself too hard too soon will make it harder in the long run for me to break a plateau when I reach one. I guess when I think about the fact that I go to the gym and spend 30 minutes to an hour on the elliptical 4-5 times a week, start the C25K, am restricting calories to 1280 in addition to my personal trainer and doing strength training 3 times a week, when I do plateau, what really could I do more? Because of this thinking, I have toned it back a little bit. Some days I skip the gym and elliptical and go for a brisk walk around the lake instead. Still gets me moving but not pushing hardcore. What do you ladies think? Plus, I don't really want to burn myself out and end up giving up because I'm so darn exhausted...

I'm checking in! My starting weight was 159.4 and my weigh-in this week was 158.2. A few beers less and I could have done 2 pounds, dang! LOL

DOOD! I just responded to EVERYONE and it freaking got deleted!! Blarg.

Kristina: I'm glad you had a nice weekend with the 'rents. Cool on the Date #2 with the guy. When's your half?

Cristina: Nice loss this week.

Kendal: Yay for a free day. Enjoy it. And eff that crap about using your own cell phone to work from home.

Lacey: I'm glad you're feeling better.

Kerry: Sounds like you had a good weekend. WTG getting your P90X workouts in (and doubles, no less) - that's hardcore. What kind of hats do you collect?

Karen: I bet that pound isn't a "real" pound since you're on your TOM.

Nava: I normally suck over the weekends too. Let's motivate each other to do better over the weekends so we can have a happy Monday morning (relatively speaking).

megruder: What a GREAT NSV!!!

Victoria: Yay for starting up on the first try!

I did my morning walk, my Insanity Max Plyo workout and then an afternoon walk with my chubby dog. I've taken to calling her "chubby puppy" and both The Hubbs and The Kid have taken offense. I told them it's ok as we chubby biznatches gotta stick together. LOL.

The extra walk with the dog burned more calories than I was prepared to eat though so my deficit for today might be bigger than I'd like. Since I've changed my macronutrient breakdown to 40/30/30, I am NEVER hungry. It makes it hard to eat when you aren't hungry.

Down 2 lbs this week. I was hoping for a little more but I'll take it. I exceeded my exercise goals for the week and I am pretty proud of that.