Your stupidest joke

KierstyPants
KierstyPants Posts: 468 Member
edited September 27 in Chit-Chat
Tell it.
Right now.


Here's mine.

Knock knock
who's there
orange
orange who
Knock knock
who's there
orange
orange who

Knock knock
who's there
orange
orange who
knock knock
whos there
banana
banana who
banana you glad I didn't say orange.

Yeah, came up with that one myself.
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Replies

  • scubacat
    scubacat Posts: 346 Member
    Q: Where does a General put his armies?

    A: Through his sleevies!
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    How Long is a Chinaman.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    what did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

    Look, here come the elephants.


    What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming wearing sunglasses?

    Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    A three legged dog goes into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my Pa." (paw)LOL
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    A man walked into a bar.


    He should have ducked.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    somebody stop me, I will go on and on....
  • stressd1mom
    stressd1mom Posts: 151 Member
    How do you get Lady Gaga's attention?

    Poke her face.
  • KierstyPants
    KierstyPants Posts: 468 Member
    what did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

    Look, here come the elephants.


    What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming wearing sunglasses?

    Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

    AHAHAHA.
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
    What do you a call a fish with no eye?


    fsh. ( I still crack up with that one.... not sure why)
  • DebBell4
    DebBell4 Posts: 1 Member
    Horse walks into a bar.... Bartender looks up and says " Hey buddy why the long face?"
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    A priest, a rabbi, and a used car salesman all walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at them and says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"
  • millerll
    millerll Posts: 873 Member
    This one's good for halloween:


    A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?"

    The skeleton says, "I'll have a beer and a mop."


    Yeah, I know, don't quit my day job................
  • avalonms
    avalonms Posts: 2,468 Member
    "My dog has no nose."
    "How does he smell?"
    "Terrible!"
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    How do you get an elephant into the refrigerator?
    Open the door and let him in.

    How can you tell an elephant's been in your fridge?
    From the footprints on the butter.
  • bigredhearts
    bigredhearts Posts: 428
    what do you call cheese that's not yours?
    nacho cheese :)
  • Erindipitous
    Erindipitous Posts: 1,234 Member
    How do you get Lady Gaga's attention?

    Poke her face.

    I just spit my sugar snap pea at my screen. :laugh:
  • Crooks0204
    Crooks0204 Posts: 189
    two nuts walk into a bar
    one was a salted :bigsmile:
  • BuckeyeLuvvvva
    BuckeyeLuvvvva Posts: 48 Member
    What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhinoceros?

    ELEPHINO!!
  • soccerjewel47
    soccerjewel47 Posts: 23
    This one is my dads but I will tell it anyway...


    Why do brides where white on their wedding day.....


    so the Dishwasher matches the stove and the refridgerator
  • stressd1mom
    stressd1mom Posts: 151 Member
    How do you get Lady Gaga's attention?

    Poke her face.

    I just spit my sugar snap pea at my screen. :laugh:

    I got that one from from 9 year old son!
  • shannaleemartin
    shannaleemartin Posts: 6
    i am a little bit ditsy and clumsy (just a warning)... and i don't mean to offend anyone with my joke...


    "Some popular girls said my name today after i tripped in the hallway... They said i sped, but i didn't go very fast...."
  • Crooks0204
    Crooks0204 Posts: 189
    This one is my dads but I will tell it anyway...


    Why do brides where white on their wedding day.....


    so the Dishwasher matches the stove and the refridgerator

    sexist but i love it...lol :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • mandyschalk
    mandyschalk Posts: 93 Member
    This is my hubby's fav (he works for Frito-Lay)

    What did the potato chip say to the battery?

    If your Eveready then Im Free to Lay
  • mandyschalk
    mandyschalk Posts: 93 Member
    How do you get Lady Gaga's attention?

    Poke her face.

    OMG!! Too FUNNY!! LOVE IT!!
  • 1aprilaries
    1aprilaries Posts: 92 Member
    I saw this on tv- some reality show on Bravo- Millionaire Matchmaker i belive is the name of it. Either way:
    Why can't you hear bunny rabbits making love????
    B/c they have cotton balls:laugh:
  • Cbandelier
    Cbandelier Posts: 217 Member
    A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel chained to his crotch.

    The bartender asks "Hey, why do you have a steering wheel chained to your crotch?"

    The pirate replies, "ARRrr, it's driving me nuts!"
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    How do you get an elephant into a grocery store?

    You take the "S" out of "safe" and the "F" out of "way"


    ........................................

















    Wait! There is no F in WAY!
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.
  • KayakAngel
    KayakAngel Posts: 397 Member
    Two guys were paddling in a kayak on a frigid river in the Yukon. They got really cold and decided to build a fire in the middle of the kayak. Of course, the kayak was consumed and sank within minutes. Which just goes to show: you can't have your kayak, and heat it too... :laugh: (yeah, I laugh at my own stupid jokes!) :laugh:
  • Crooks0204
    Crooks0204 Posts: 189
    :laugh: :laugh: too funny
This discussion has been closed.

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