Four bags of Oreos
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janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Yeah, no. It's about learning to eat in moderation, and helping people who try to go full on "all healthy food" (which most of the time leads to failure). If people learn over time to eat in moderation, and meet their macros and nutritional needs, they find they can still have the foods they enjoy in smaller portions. Things like cookies aren't 'off the table' forever, weight lost is still achieved, and long-term success is still there. There's no self-righteousness involved, as you seem to think. We're trying to help people be successful over the long haul.
I...don't think you understand the point I was making. But okay. He could technically eat in moderation. Just like anyone should be able to. Did he buy 4 packs of oreos just so he could eat 2-3 every now and then...I don't think so...I'm not saying he should cut junk food out forever and ever and ever just because he has some health issues. Of course, anyone who wants to cut junk food out of their diet should be able to if they wish, no questions asked, whether someone was able to lose 100 pounds eating 15 oreos a day or not.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Are you sure? I bolded what you said, I don't see where any of what you are saying now (backtracking) fits what you said that I replied to.
I feel like we are having 2 different conversations
I've seen people say the first ("I fit 'junk foods' into my calorie limit"). The second part ("you should do it too") is more questionable.
Where are you seeing people being told they should eat certain foods?
I didn't say anything about people saying that other people should eat certain or specific foods. Some people on here get judgmental when they find out that another person has cut out a certain food they like for the sake of diet as opposed to them just saving, let's say, 200 calories for a damn cookie.
I think you struggle to accurately understand the tone and message of others when they write something that you disagree with.
^This.
After reading all the back and forth and applying my highly analytical mind (ahem)... so much this.
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Yeah, no. It's about learning to eat in moderation, and helping people who try to go full on "all healthy food" (which most of the time leads to failure). If people learn over time to eat in moderation, and meet their macros and nutritional needs, they find they can still have the foods they enjoy in smaller portions. Things like cookies aren't 'off the table' forever, weight lost is still achieved, and long-term success is still there. There's no self-righteousness involved, as you seem to think. We're trying to help people be successful over the long haul.
I...don't think you understand the point I was making. But okay. He could technically eat in moderation. Just like anyone should be able to. Did he buy 4 packs of oreos just so he could eat 2-3 every now and then...I don't think so...I'm not saying he should cut junk food out forever and ever and ever just because he has some health issues. Of course, anyone who wants to cut junk food out of their diet should be able to if they wish, no questions asked, whether someone was able to lose 100 pounds eating 15 oreos a day or not.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Are you sure? I bolded what you said, I don't see where any of what you are saying now (backtracking) fits what you said that I replied to.
I feel like we are having 2 different conversations
I've seen people say the first ("I fit 'junk foods' into my calorie limit"). The second part ("you should do it too") is more questionable.
Where are you seeing people being told they should eat certain foods?
I didn't say anything about people saying that other people should eat certain or specific foods. Some people on here get judgmental when they find out that another person has cut out a certain food they like for the sake of diet as opposed to them just saving, let's say, 200 calories for a damn cookie.
I think you struggle to accurately understand the tone and message of others when they write something that you disagree with.
Not surprising given she seems to struggle to accurately recall things she said earlier in the same thread.
So much this. Even when she's shown exactly what she said.0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Yeah, no. It's about learning to eat in moderation, and helping people who try to go full on "all healthy food" (which most of the time leads to failure). If people learn over time to eat in moderation, and meet their macros and nutritional needs, they find they can still have the foods they enjoy in smaller portions. Things like cookies aren't 'off the table' forever, weight lost is still achieved, and long-term success is still there. There's no self-righteousness involved, as you seem to think. We're trying to help people be successful over the long haul.
I...don't think you understand the point I was making. But okay. He could technically eat in moderation. Just like anyone should be able to. Did he buy 4 packs of oreos just so he could eat 2-3 every now and then...I don't think so...I'm not saying he should cut junk food out forever and ever and ever just because he has some health issues. Of course, anyone who wants to cut junk food out of their diet should be able to if they wish, no questions asked, whether someone was able to lose 100 pounds eating 15 oreos a day or not.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Are you sure? I bolded what you said, I don't see where any of what you are saying now (backtracking) fits what you said that I replied to.
I feel like we are having 2 different conversations
I've seen people say the first ("I fit 'junk foods' into my calorie limit"). The second part ("you should do it too") is more questionable.
Where are you seeing people being told they should eat certain foods?
I didn't say anything about people saying that other people should eat certain or specific foods. Some people on here get judgmental when they find out that another person has cut out a certain food they like for the sake of diet as opposed to them just saving, let's say, 200 calories for a damn cookie.
I think you struggle to accurately understand the tone and message of others when they write something that you disagree with.
Not surprising given she seems to struggle to accurately recall things she said earlier in the same thread.
So much this. Even when she's shown exactly what she said.
I think what you all fail to understand is that some people have more success if they give up entirely (not try to moderate) certain things. Just because moderation works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone, so the endless stream of advice along those lines may not be "helping" people in the way that you intend.
No-one's health is going to be harmed if they never ever eat an Oreo for the rest of their life. And if that thought actually makes someone unhappy, it would seem to indicate some kind of unhealthy psychological dependence.
You might be happy with your one or two; other people would rather have none. Don't know why that seems to be so hard to understand.
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Yeah, no. It's about learning to eat in moderation, and helping people who try to go full on "all healthy food" (which most of the time leads to failure). If people learn over time to eat in moderation, and meet their macros and nutritional needs, they find they can still have the foods they enjoy in smaller portions. Things like cookies aren't 'off the table' forever, weight lost is still achieved, and long-term success is still there. There's no self-righteousness involved, as you seem to think. We're trying to help people be successful over the long haul.
I...don't think you understand the point I was making. But okay. He could technically eat in moderation. Just like anyone should be able to. Did he buy 4 packs of oreos just so he could eat 2-3 every now and then...I don't think so...I'm not saying he should cut junk food out forever and ever and ever just because he has some health issues. Of course, anyone who wants to cut junk food out of their diet should be able to if they wish, no questions asked, whether someone was able to lose 100 pounds eating 15 oreos a day or not.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Are you sure? I bolded what you said, I don't see where any of what you are saying now (backtracking) fits what you said that I replied to.
I feel like we are having 2 different conversations
I've seen people say the first ("I fit 'junk foods' into my calorie limit"). The second part ("you should do it too") is more questionable.
Where are you seeing people being told they should eat certain foods?
I didn't say anything about people saying that other people should eat certain or specific foods. Some people on here get judgmental when they find out that another person has cut out a certain food they like for the sake of diet as opposed to them just saving, let's say, 200 calories for a damn cookie.
I think you struggle to accurately understand the tone and message of others when they write something that you disagree with.
Not surprising given she seems to struggle to accurately recall things she said earlier in the same thread.
So much this. Even when she's shown exactly what she said.
I think what you all fail to understand is that some people have more success if they give up entirely (not try to moderate) certain things. Just because moderation works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone, so the endless stream of advice along those lines may not be "helping" people in the way that you intend.
No-one's health is going to be harmed if they never ever eat an Oreo for the rest of their life. And if that thought actually makes someone unhappy, it would seem to indicate some kind of unhealthy psychological dependence.
You might be happy with your one or two; other people would rather have none. Don't know why that seems to be so hard to understand.
Did you accidentally quote the wrong string for that post?0 -
I skipped many pages here, and I regret nothing. But, I will say that while I normally agree that an adult shouldn't have to report to anyone else on their consumption, there is an extra wrinkle, here. OP has a husband who is eating himself into a medical condition that requires care. Lots and lots of care that usually comes from a partner if the sufferer is partnered. And, unfortunately, society judges women very harshly if they do not willingly serve as a carer for their partner, especially if that partner is male (meanwhile, male het cheaters get excused because "she let herself GO...." all the time) So, while OPs spouse has the right to kill himself with food if he wants, as his partner, she also has the right to say NO. Stop it, I'm not going to care for you when you've almost killed yourself with your eating habits. She's not complaining for aesthetic reasons...the guy legit could KILL HIMSELF with all this food. This isn't a "ZOMG, office donuts=SABOTAGE" situation. This is someone refusing to care for himself with the expectation that OP should shoulder the repercussions of that decision. That's not a pure free-will situation.0
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I never liked Oreos or any store bought cookie. *shrug* Give me a homemade chocolate chip cookie or brownie any day. You guys want something super delicious? I present Gluten-free S'more Bars (I didn't bother with the gluten free).
I was with you until the s'mores bars.
Marshmallows ruin everything.
I'm not the biggest oreo fan (if you must, classic is the correct answer, however), but they kick *** compared with anything involving marshmallows, the devil's candy. I used to rejoice in setting them on fire.0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Yeah, no. It's about learning to eat in moderation, and helping people who try to go full on "all healthy food" (which most of the time leads to failure). If people learn over time to eat in moderation, and meet their macros and nutritional needs, they find they can still have the foods they enjoy in smaller portions. Things like cookies aren't 'off the table' forever, weight lost is still achieved, and long-term success is still there. There's no self-righteousness involved, as you seem to think. We're trying to help people be successful over the long haul.
I...don't think you understand the point I was making. But okay. He could technically eat in moderation. Just like anyone should be able to. Did he buy 4 packs of oreos just so he could eat 2-3 every now and then...I don't think so...I'm not saying he should cut junk food out forever and ever and ever just because he has some health issues. Of course, anyone who wants to cut junk food out of their diet should be able to if they wish, no questions asked, whether someone was able to lose 100 pounds eating 15 oreos a day or not.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Are you sure? I bolded what you said, I don't see where any of what you are saying now (backtracking) fits what you said that I replied to.
I feel like we are having 2 different conversations
I've seen people say the first ("I fit 'junk foods' into my calorie limit"). The second part ("you should do it too") is more questionable.
Where are you seeing people being told they should eat certain foods?
I didn't say anything about people saying that other people should eat certain or specific foods. Some people on here get judgmental when they find out that another person has cut out a certain food they like for the sake of diet as opposed to them just saving, let's say, 200 calories for a damn cookie.
I think you struggle to accurately understand the tone and message of others when they write something that you disagree with.
Not surprising given she seems to struggle to accurately recall things she said earlier in the same thread.
So much this. Even when she's shown exactly what she said.
Co sighn0 -
is this still going on?
now i want an oreo (or 3) . i dont have any. that makes me sad.0 -
Carnivor0us wrote: »Since your husband is a grown adult, I suggest doing what I had to do - lead by example, by cooking tasty yet healthful meals (if you're the one that cooks, that is) and politely refusing any junk.
It's amazing how many people I've turned that way. It took time, but it always works.
I agree with Carnivor0us* MY hubby wasn't/isnt this bad*-Im not trying to be offensive just genuinely shocked ~~ 4 bags?I would let him indulge in hip sucking food and know your doing yourself a lot of awesome powerful goodness.
My husband stopped buying ice-cream and beer because I had a lot of influence from my passion about the quality of my life. So i now buy the ice-cream and he watches me* eat it. Idk I mean do what you want and let him do what he wants. But if your MORE passionate then his LACK of interest? It may influence him or convict him enough. He will look at himself and be like what am I doing to myself, I am killing myself literally slowing my heart and brain down with chemicals from processed crap companies want me to buy and be addicted to so they can have my money.
Think about it companies gamble on the loyal ones-its where they get most of their loot from-loyal folks like him. Be good to you-eat fresh foods and as much as you like and go hiking-you will love strong, happy and healthy and that is beautiful
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Yeah, no. It's about learning to eat in moderation, and helping people who try to go full on "all healthy food" (which most of the time leads to failure). If people learn over time to eat in moderation, and meet their macros and nutritional needs, they find they can still have the foods they enjoy in smaller portions. Things like cookies aren't 'off the table' forever, weight lost is still achieved, and long-term success is still there. There's no self-righteousness involved, as you seem to think. We're trying to help people be successful over the long haul.
I...don't think you understand the point I was making. But okay. He could technically eat in moderation. Just like anyone should be able to. Did he buy 4 packs of oreos just so he could eat 2-3 every now and then...I don't think so...I'm not saying he should cut junk food out forever and ever and ever just because he has some health issues. Of course, anyone who wants to cut junk food out of their diet should be able to if they wish, no questions asked, whether someone was able to lose 100 pounds eating 15 oreos a day or not.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Are you sure? I bolded what you said, I don't see where any of what you are saying now (backtracking) fits what you said that I replied to.
I feel like we are having 2 different conversations
I've seen people say the first ("I fit 'junk foods' into my calorie limit"). The second part ("you should do it too") is more questionable.
Where are you seeing people being told they should eat certain foods?
I didn't say anything about people saying that other people should eat certain or specific foods. Some people on here get judgmental when they find out that another person has cut out a certain food they like for the sake of diet as opposed to them just saving, let's say, 200 calories for a damn cookie.
I think you struggle to accurately understand the tone and message of others when they write something that you disagree with.
Not surprising given she seems to struggle to accurately recall things she said earlier in the same thread.
So much this. Even when she's shown exactly what she said.
I think what you all fail to understand is that some people have more success if they give up entirely (not try to moderate) certain things. Just because moderation works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone, so the endless stream of advice along those lines may not be "helping" people in the way that you intend.
No-one's health is going to be harmed if they never ever eat an Oreo for the rest of their life. And if that thought actually makes someone unhappy, it would seem to indicate some kind of unhealthy psychological dependence.
You might be happy with your one or two; other people would rather have none. Don't know why that seems to be so hard to understand.
I don't think that has to do with what you're quoting.
You are wrong if you think that everyone who argues against sugar demonization is against the idea that someone gives it up as a personal choice.
The issue is more complex than that.
People who give up sugar often call it crap and make extraordinary claims related to giving up sugar. Well, there's a problem then, because they've gone beyond stating a personal preference. They're calling what someone else eats crap and they're attributing something to a food restriction that's likely a baseless assertion that is easily disproven to be a causal link. It's great that someone feels better, but proving causation in a way that should go beyond personal experience? Shaky ground.
I'll draw a parallel. I don't eat meat. It personally makes me feel terrible when I eat it and I have ... distressing... digestive issues when I do. I also have mild ethical concerns, but they weren't my primary reason for giving it up. I don't, however, go around everywhere ragging on omnivores about their diets. My vegetarianism is my personal choice because it works for me. I don't need my personal choices to have a universal Truth behind them to validate them.
The second thing that sometimes happens is that a newbie wanders in and you can tell they are unsure and think that maybe they have to do this or that to lose weight. Naturally, you're going to see people share what is and is not NECESSARY for weight loss. Since the only thing needed is to create a calorie deficit, if someone says they think they have to cut sugar, that's going to be debunked. It's still up to the person to decide what to do, and people who have gone the route of giving up sugar are free to chime in with their experience as well, and should do so.
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When my grandmother was repeatedly hospitalized for diabetes and high blood pressure I made her health conscious freezer meals in individual servings so that she had easy meals to grab. She still wouldn't follow the plan. I've since given up my efforts because I just can't contribute when she won't put in the effort no matter how easy (in my eyes) I made it.
I feel for your situation. In the end, you can't expend too much energy on anyone that doesn't want to help themselves (and I also had an ex with addiction problems). You'll have to set your own boundaries and you could decide at some point that the impact is too much on your own well being.
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My mom and gramma are pre diabetic and trying to get my mom not to buy a box of anything sugar loaded is like taking candy from a baby after the first bite. Its humiliating even. I explain and educate them I even go as far as (WARNING:::TMI TMI TMI TMI~~~~pROCEED BUT you have been WARNED~~~~~~~I tell mom constantly mom you know the diarrhea you have can kill you right? she said i know- To which I reply so mom you can't eat so much food its not good for you. She doesn't get it. Meaning she gets it and she understands and it hurts her and she feels bad but she needs help with it and i can't be there for her and even if could i still can't. I used to live with her and she would sneak a second hamburger and then i found out and am like MOM why'd you take that-she laughs "cause I'm hungry" She had a rough life. I feel awful for her. She doesn't get out much since she is not independent so t.v. and snacks is her comfort. I took her out today to the store and walked for like three hours so that was good but its just not enough. We try our best with what we have. Unless someone is sick and tired of being sick and tired-not much is gonna change.Queenmunchy wrote: »When my grandmother was repeatedly hospitalized for diabetes and high blood pressure I made her health conscious freezer meals in individual servings so that she had easy meals to grab. She still wouldn't follow the plan. I've since given up my efforts because I just can't contribute when she won't put in the effort no matter how easy (in my eyes) I made it.
I feel for your situation. In the end, you can't expend too much energy on anyone that doesn't want to help themselves (and I also had an ex with addiction problems). You'll have to set your own boundaries and you could decide at some point that the impact is too much on your own well being.
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Queenmunchy wrote: »When my grandmother was repeatedly hospitalized for diabetes and high blood pressure I made her health conscious freezer meals in individual servings so that she had easy meals to grab. She still wouldn't follow the plan. I've since given up my efforts because I just can't contribute when she won't put in the effort no matter how easy (in my eyes) I made it.
I feel for your situation. In the end, you can't expend too much energy on anyone that doesn't want to help themselves (and I also had an ex with addiction problems). You'll have to set your own boundaries and you could decide at some point that the impact is too much on your own well being.
I'm caregiver for my grandfather - stage 4 kidney disease and uncontrolled diabetes.
and refuses to eat the food i make and freeze for him.
i feel your pain
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RedArizona5 wrote: »
My mom and gramma are pre diabetic and trying to get my mom not to buy a box of anything sugar loaded is like taking candy from a baby after the first bite. Its humiliating even. I explain and educate them I even go as far as (WARNING:::TMI TMI TMI TMI~~~~pROCEED BUT you have been WARNED~~~~~~~I tell mom constantly mom you know the diarrhea you have can kill you right? she said i know- To which I reply so mom you can't eat so much food its not good for you. She doesn't get it. She had a rough life. I feel awful for her. She doesn't get out much since she is not independent so t.v. and snacks is her comfort. I took her out today to the store and walked for like three hours so that was good but its just not enough. We try our best with what we have. Unless someone is sick and tired of being sick and tired-not much is gonna change.Queenmunchy wrote: »When my grandmother was repeatedly hospitalized for diabetes and high blood pressure I made her health conscious freezer meals in individual servings so that she had easy meals to grab. She still wouldn't follow the plan. I've since given up my efforts because I just can't contribute when she won't put in the effort no matter how easy (in my eyes) I made it.
I feel for your situation. In the end, you can't expend too much energy on anyone that doesn't want to help themselves (and I also had an ex with addiction problems). You'll have to set your own boundaries and you could decide at some point that the impact is too much on your own well being.
I have an old childhood friend who went through a very similar situation with her mom (her brothers were outside observers, since it was the daughter's job to be caregiver in their family....they scolded her for "policing" mom while she was eating poorly...but who got left holding the bag when mom became seriously ill? Yeah, the only kid wanting to intervene earlier) Mom died last year, found dead in her room surrounded by empty candy wrappers and a shocking blood sugar level. The widower? still angry at daughter for "not taking good enough care" of mom.
It's stuff like this that makes me think OP has more say than if she were just a busybody.0 -
Nony_Mouse wrote: »Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »OP, I'm sorry, and I'm not saying this to be mean - but if he was over 400 lbs on your first date, what did you think you were getting yourself into?
It's hard for people to change. They have to change themselves. They only change themselves when they feel like the benefits of the change outweigh the benefits of their current state. That's why we generally advise against marrying abusers or cheaters, since the likelihood of them seeing the error of their ways and changing for good is low.
Yes, he may decide to change in time, but you knew what you were getting into when you married him. Either you accept him for who he is and leave him alone to figure it out for himself, or you leave him. His health is out of your hands.
^^This. It is an awful situation to be in OP, and I really do feel for you. But honestly, if it were me, I would walk away at this point. I'm sure I'll get slammed by some for saying that, but...
No slam here. I'd do the same. If someone insists on burning their life to the ground despite any and all efforts on my part to help (and yes, I've been there with someone for a reason different than health) then at some point I am going to refuse to go down with the ship, and bail out. Which is actually precisely what I did. It is an option to be taken seriously.0 -
Why? What is wrong with having an Oreo or two if they want it?[/quote]
for many people, it is NEVER just one or two oreos....I think she mentioned way back that those 4 packages of oreos would be gone in a matter of days.
I will say that oreos (and other brands of cookies) are real triggers for me. I have NO self control, therefore, i let my husband know that we can't keep any of those in the house. He loves and respects me enough to accede to my wishes. Honestly, if 4 packages of oreos came home with the groceries, he would either take them to work, or I would quietly throw them out.
0 -
Chrysalid2014 wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Yeah, no. It's about learning to eat in moderation, and helping people who try to go full on "all healthy food" (which most of the time leads to failure). If people learn over time to eat in moderation, and meet their macros and nutritional needs, they find they can still have the foods they enjoy in smaller portions. Things like cookies aren't 'off the table' forever, weight lost is still achieved, and long-term success is still there. There's no self-righteousness involved, as you seem to think. We're trying to help people be successful over the long haul.
I...don't think you understand the point I was making. But okay. He could technically eat in moderation. Just like anyone should be able to. Did he buy 4 packs of oreos just so he could eat 2-3 every now and then...I don't think so...I'm not saying he should cut junk food out forever and ever and ever just because he has some health issues. Of course, anyone who wants to cut junk food out of their diet should be able to if they wish, no questions asked, whether someone was able to lose 100 pounds eating 15 oreos a day or not.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Are you sure? I bolded what you said, I don't see where any of what you are saying now (backtracking) fits what you said that I replied to.
I feel like we are having 2 different conversations
I've seen people say the first ("I fit 'junk foods' into my calorie limit"). The second part ("you should do it too") is more questionable.
Where are you seeing people being told they should eat certain foods?
I didn't say anything about people saying that other people should eat certain or specific foods. Some people on here get judgmental when they find out that another person has cut out a certain food they like for the sake of diet as opposed to them just saving, let's say, 200 calories for a damn cookie.
I think you struggle to accurately understand the tone and message of others when they write something that you disagree with.
Not surprising given she seems to struggle to accurately recall things she said earlier in the same thread.
So much this. Even when she's shown exactly what she said.
I think what you all fail to understand is that some people have more success if they give up entirely (not try to moderate) certain things. Just because moderation works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone, so the endless stream of advice along those lines may not be "helping" people in the way that you intend.
No-one's health is going to be harmed if they never ever eat an Oreo for the rest of their life. And if that thought actually makes someone unhappy, it would seem to indicate some kind of unhealthy psychological dependence.
You might be happy with your one or two; other people would rather have none. Don't know why that seems to be so hard to understand.
Right, thank you. Some people get it, some people don't. It is what it is, I guess.0 -
Chrysalid2014 wrote: »jofjltncb6 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Chrysalid2014 wrote: »APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Hubby and I had "the discussion" about eating more sensibly and healthier, and less junk food, etc, etc, etc, this weekend. (He has more weight to lose than I do.) Thought we were on the same page, until he came home from the grocery store this evening with four bags of Oreos, chocolate ice cream, eight pounds of pork sausage patties, and a supersize bag of generic Reese's pieces cereal.
I'm not even sure we're in the same book, much less on the same page. How do you handle these situations??
2 oreos is around 100 calories
I fail to see the issue
The issue is not simply one of CICO. The OP's husband has a chronic medical condition that is often exacerbated by certain foods (ie. those with refined sugar). Just because you and others fail to see the issue does not mean that there is no issue.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Yeah, no. It's about learning to eat in moderation, and helping people who try to go full on "all healthy food" (which most of the time leads to failure). If people learn over time to eat in moderation, and meet their macros and nutritional needs, they find they can still have the foods they enjoy in smaller portions. Things like cookies aren't 'off the table' forever, weight lost is still achieved, and long-term success is still there. There's no self-righteousness involved, as you seem to think. We're trying to help people be successful over the long haul.
I...don't think you understand the point I was making. But okay. He could technically eat in moderation. Just like anyone should be able to. Did he buy 4 packs of oreos just so he could eat 2-3 every now and then...I don't think so...I'm not saying he should cut junk food out forever and ever and ever just because he has some health issues. Of course, anyone who wants to cut junk food out of their diet should be able to if they wish, no questions asked, whether someone was able to lose 100 pounds eating 15 oreos a day or not.
I concurr. Lots of people like this in the forums.
"I fit junk food into my calorie limit everyday and lost a million pounds so you should do it to."
Are you sure? I bolded what you said, I don't see where any of what you are saying now (backtracking) fits what you said that I replied to.
I feel like we are having 2 different conversations
I've seen people say the first ("I fit 'junk foods' into my calorie limit"). The second part ("you should do it too") is more questionable.
Where are you seeing people being told they should eat certain foods?
I didn't say anything about people saying that other people should eat certain or specific foods. Some people on here get judgmental when they find out that another person has cut out a certain food they like for the sake of diet as opposed to them just saving, let's say, 200 calories for a damn cookie.
I think you struggle to accurately understand the tone and message of others when they write something that you disagree with.
Not surprising given she seems to struggle to accurately recall things she said earlier in the same thread.
So much this. Even when she's shown exactly what she said.
I think what you all fail to understand is that some people have more success if they give up entirely (not try to moderate) certain things. Just because moderation works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone, so the endless stream of advice along those lines may not be "helping" people in the way that you intend.
No-one's health is going to be harmed if they never ever eat an Oreo for the rest of their life. And if that thought actually makes someone unhappy, it would seem to indicate some kind of unhealthy psychological dependence.
You might be happy with your one or two; other people would rather have none. Don't know why that seems to be so hard to understand.
Right, thank you. Some people get it, some people don't. It is what it is, I guess.
You two are the people who don't get it, because your posts have absolutely nothing to do with what you are replying to.0 -
FaylinaMeir wrote: »As much as you want to control your husband (and even if you deny it you kinda are) you really can't. I understand completely how you feel, way back when my husband was the same. Unwilling to change and etc but I just ate my healthy food, lost weight and got better. After awhile he decided to follow and now he's in the best shape of his life, just joined the Navy, and lost all his weight.
I'm not saying your husband will make such a change but it's the little things. You might have to accept he'll never change and if that is something you can deal with, as blunt as crappy as that sounds.
I do know one thing though, the more you harass your spouse (typically) about changing and their eating habits, the MORE likely they are to go buy 4 packages of oreos just to be spiteful, weather he did that consciously or not.
^
This0
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