Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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rungirl1973 wrote: »["That" older guy isn't as rare as you think.
@JPW1990 I know it isn't rare. Have many a friends who upon getting divorced suddenly find themselves in the company of much younger company. I shake my head as a older guy, but honestly there is a LOT of draw to it. Mostly it can capture that feeling of fleeting youth. Ya know, Jerry Lee Lewis "Middle Aged Crazy, trying to prove he still can...".
I am pretty grounded, but who knows. Was just thinking out loud. No plans for divorce or younger women at this point.
honestly, this is why at 34 i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be alone.
totally not judging you (after my parents divorced my dad spent years dating younger gals and then five years ago married a girl that is ONE year older than ME. i judge him
)
anytime i go out i can't help but feel like i don't belong. there are young, stunning girls EVERYwhere, i can't imagine anyone settling for my older, pudgy butt. plus i'm also pretty sarcastic and b*tchy.
but seeing how i'm the reason my current relationship tanked, i really don't have anyone else to blame.
it's still kinda disappointing though.
I would too!
Don't give up on finding someone, I'm only 29 and sometimes it's hard since most gals my age are married or in committed relationships but most the time I'm happy as I have the rest of my life to be with someone may as well enjoy my "singleness" now. You'll find someone!! You are very pretty!
Agree that you are very pretty, plus you're pretty funny going off your additions to this thread and you will meet someone. I met my husband when I was 35 and got married at 37. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me. I used to tell myself I was "fundamentally unloveable". Everyone else said it would happen for me, they were right and I was wrong.
I must be an anomaly. I was reading through the past few days posts and wondering how people can only come up with a couple of things positive to say about themselves. And, why would anybody think that because they don't have somebody that there is something wrong with them? I never really thought I had super high self esteem, but I've always known my worth.
I am speaking for myself, but... you look around and all you see is "happy" couples and people dating, and there... is... nothing... going on with you. And I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but I see some people who are just awful human beings and they are with someone. And then it's like "how come they can find someone, and I can't?" So you start to think there is something wrong with yourself and you must be completely unattractive.
SEE, yes. As in appearances. People want others to think they are just so happy and "perfect". Generally not the case. Lots of unhappy, miserable people stay with each other for multitudes of reasons. ***I'm not saying this is the case with everyone!*** Just that appearances can be deceiving!
This is so true.0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »
Ahhh good idea! I don't know why I didn't think of that before, whoops Thank you! 0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »I used to break spaghetti into 3 when my kids were little. I still break it in half. I rarely order it in a restaurant because I don't like the looong strands.
I also never order ribs. I hate getting my hands dirty, even if it's because of delicious ribs.
I've never been a fan of spaghetti. I mean it's ok but def not something I would ever order when dining out. Maybe I haven't had GOOD spaghetti. But then again, I am not a saucy guy so I tend to like more noodle than sauce. And a noodle is just a noodle, correct?
I crush ribs without second thought. I do however go through a TON of wet naps cuz I hate that sticky feeling on my hands and face.
What??? Pretty sure your profile pic says otherwise! Haha. Those scrawny arms in the picture make me laugh every time.0 -
lizalmp1234 wrote: »My boyfriend isn't attracted to me anymore because I've gained weight.....I Haven't had sex in five years and it has honestly given me a bit of depression!!!!
giiiirl! step out your comfort zone and consider moving on. everyone deserves love and affection regardless of weight!0 -
This morning I went to take the last lemon Fibre 1 bar from the cupboard. I got so ripped off. They're supposed to be 25g, this one felt super small so I tossed it on the scale (still in the wrapper) and it weighs 9g. 9 GRAMS!
omg i would be enraged! i would call and demand coupons for ripping me off.
I would, too! They should send you a free something. ..0 -
Went out to lunch today and ordered 1/2 a BLT & Avocado sandwich with a small salad. I got a full sandwich and salad. I ate it all. OGT- I didn't buy and eat the brownie they place so conveniently next to the register!0
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Six or so weeks ago I mentioned my daughter and a potential ED. The follow up (first follow up) and nutritionist meeting were yesterday. She's gained a few lbs and that is what the doctor wanted. The nutritionist gave her some good information and what I like is that the nutritionist told her not to count calories or even think about it but to eat in a way (I don't remember the diagram but about 50% non starchy veggies, 25% fat/protein and 25% unprocessed grains/starchy veggies and this 25% is by the portion of food on the plate.) My daughter tried it for a meal yesterday and said it seemed to work, she didn't over eat and was satisfied. We also both have food intolerances. It appears my daughter is getting some cross contamination of wheat/gluten at her dad's house. She needs to be very careful in reading labels and such. She also *may* have a legitimate allergy to another food and may need to carry an epi pen. The blood work is at the lab. Nutritionist is also wanting daughter to keep a journal of what foods are eaten and results (mood/bloat/energy/etc) without any judgement, just curiosity.
While she was going through this process of relearning to listen to her body (still in process) and be ok with putting on a pound or two of weight I didn't log. I just tried listening to my body etc. I did have a few big food days (holiday) but I'm holding steady on the weight I've lost. As I am within 4 - 5 pounds of my goal and as I am at a healthy weight I am happy with even a very slow downward trend - a pound every month or two is fine. Daughter is traveling for a little while so I'm logging again and may be more careful to maintain a deficit.
Edited to take out a few details.
Great news about your daughter. Thanks for updating!
Ditto.
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"I know what I'm supposed to do, but for some reason I still feel lost" not all who wander all lost. even if you feel lost you might just be a smidge ---- displaced. keep going. maybe not full force but even a step or two off the couch / xbox / ps3 / in front of the tv is a step or two more than you were before. if all of it at once food, exercise, food log, calories this and calories that is overwhelming pick one and stick with it. I find eating better is a good one to be the focus of. You'll still lose weight. Exercise could be your focus too but you cant eat a steak bomb #9 from d'angelo's with extra heavy mayo and walk 15 mins and see results. HOWEVER you COULD "eat a steak bomb #9 from d'angelo's with extra heavy mayo" and take a kick boxing class. Keep at it. It took a long time to build the pyramids and I am SURE those workers weren't using power machinery!! YOU GOT THIS LOVE!!Confession: I can't seem to find the mental motivation to lose weight anymore. I don't want to be fat like I am, but somehow I can't generate the energy to eat healthier and exercise. I don't know why I have this mental block, but I want to get rid of it as soon as possible.
It's a tad depressing, really. It's like, I know what I'm supposed to do, but for some reason I still feel lost.
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I have a tendency to only put in my daily dog walks when I want to eat extra that day. I'm worried that my calorie count is too low, because I lose a lot of weight and don't feel well after 5 days of following it closely, so I always eat a little more than the recommended allowance.0
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smashley_mashley wrote: »
I don't give two cr@ps about clean eating. There was a thread that was linked in this thread yesterday that was about 10-15 different definitions of "clean eating" (I am too lazy to go back and find it). There would be no way to sustain what I've lost so far if I restricted myself to no end. I make a point of keeping enough calories for dessert almost every day b/c I like sweet things (I love to bake and just the other day I made donuts and then I stocked up on chocolate because will be making some red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting in the near future).jennlandau wrote: »
Thank you. That's doesn't sound as unappealing as never eating imported pasta from Italy because it isn't 'clean'. I guess I just need to get back on the horse and try.smashley_mashley wrote: »jennlandau wrote: »I am afraid that I will always be this big. I have 100+ pounds to lose. I see what others have done to do so (eat Clean, train to run marathons, make food plans & control of food their whole life) and I don't really want those measures but I am not happy with my current weight either. I exercise 2 to 4 times a week doing things with a higher intensity (LaBlast, Pound, Zumba, Kettle Bell AMPD, Salsa Dancing) and can keep up pretty good, especially for my size. My stamina and strength have definitely improved over the last year. No movement on the scale but I am down a pant size, one to 2 dress sizes. In addition, many of the clothes that I own still fit but are now too long, I guess because there is less holding them up (I am really short too!).
I know that food journaling, watching fat grams, exercise & stress management are the keys for me. I know that I need to work harder on all of that, especially the food journaling, but what if even with the work this is as good as it gets? What if I will never be under 200 pounds? What if I am forever a plus size with all of the shaming and weight bias that that entails?
That is my true fear for the future
you'll get there. You will have ups (which suck and tend to happen at least once per month) and you will have downs (which are awesome). I find routine can help. For me, I tend to eat the same thing for breakfast every day. Prior to my surgery to weeks ago I would have a slice of toast with White Chocolate Wonderful and an apple; for lunch, left overs from dinner that were pre-weighed/measured (but the two weeks leading up to my surgery I wasn't eating lunch at all...that's another story). Now that I can eat dairy again, I will go back to having yogurt and granola with an apple for breakfast and my pre-surgery breakfast of a slice of toast with White Chocloate wonderful and an apple will be moved to lunch and the apple with be subbed with a different fruit or veg. I leave dinners open for variety during the week - weekends are also not pre-planned. I find consistency helps. You just need to find what works for you.
This thread can be a bit dangerous because we LOVE talking about all the food we love to eat and would love to try (an have tried) and often you will find people suggesting treats you never heard of and then will have to go online to find and buy just to see if it is worth it (I.e. the White Chocolate Wonderful, all the different pop tart varieties, all the different Oreo varieties, etc).
Just don't beat yourself up when you have a bad meal/day or if the scale goes up one week and down the next. I think this is the hardest part b/c we are hardest on ourselves. I have been at this for a year and have lost & kept off 24-26 pounds with 18-20 pounds to go (all depending on the day). You CAN do this. And don't forget to celebrate all of your NSVs (those are the best!!)
Thanks for the encouragement. I am feeling a little more positive today and things don't look as bleak. In these next 2 weeks I am concentrating on food journaling, no matter what I eat to see if that helps.0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »
My best friend's mom growing up went tanning very often and was the color of a dark carrot. I remember thinking she looked at least fifteen years older than my own mother, but she was five years younger. It horrified me, to be quite honest.rungirl1973 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »mysticlizard wrote: »I'm very pale like a bunch of you have said you are. I used to try tanning, but it didn't take. I've never had a tan or a sunburn in my life. I finally stopped trying and embraced my day walker skin. I sometimes get embarrassed by it, but I figure if people don't like it screw them. Being able to blind people with the color of my skin is a super power!
My daughter shares your super power. In our house we call it rockin' the Casper.
I'm also very pale & once had a co-worker comment on how white I was after coming back from Hawaii for the second time. The first time I went to Hawaii I had learned my lesson the hard way. Over there the heat is very dry & I thought well it's not as hot & humid like it is in Pennsylvania so I don't need to cake on the sunblock. Ugh! Huge mistake! I had huge welts all over my one arm from a horrendous sunburn. Luckily they didn't hurt, but it definitely taught me to be more vigilant while out in the sun.
I'm pale but by choice- I can tan really easily but I'm super OCD about having sunblock on anytime I'm outside! I'm terrified of wrinkles and skin cancer
You are very smart! (say the hypocrite tanning addict) I gave it up several years ago, but started again this past March. I love it! But I seriously need to stop.
My best friend had melanoma when we were in our early twenties and I've been watching my mom deal with all the consequences of being a sun bathing beauty her whole life! So just trying to avoid all of that
I tanned for a couple of years in my 20's. Getting a tan started is TOUGH for me because I'm blindingly pale. My mother is a redhead, and I'm whiter than she is.
I confess that I stopped not because of the fear of melanoma but because my friend who is 10 years older than me LOOKS more like 20-25 years older than me due to her decades of tanning, skin like leather.
Yes, this is right up there next to cancer for me so even if we didn't risk skin cancer from tanning I still wouldn't do it! I know lots of people hate being pale but I think it looks elegant honestly! I always think about how back in the day if you were pale it was a sign of wealth as you didn't have to spend all your days out working haha I'm not that shallow I swear! I just prefer being pale and I don't want to look like a leather hand bag in 10 years!
When my mom was in her 40's, she had a circle of friends, mostly people she worked with. I knew one or two of them were younger, but thought the rest were around her age. There was one woman who I thought was in her late 50's, because she definitely looked much older than the rest. Turns out she was mid-30's, and had already tanned herself into looking around 58 or so. I'd never had an interest in tanning before then, but that definitely killed any remote curiosity I had about it.
When I was a teen working a counter service job, many of our customers were retired, wealthy "snow birds" who wintered in warmer climates. The *ahem* older (as in, not much more than my age right now, lol) ladies would come in sporting heavily tanned skin that looked like old boot leather. I remember thinking how unattractive it was... ewwww, shrivelled cleavage... and "I don't ever want to look like that".
A couple of things I've read have stuck with me. Supposedly 90% of skin aging is "photo-aging" caused by UV. And "a year of incidental sun exposure is worth a day of baking at the beach". A former coworker who easily looked 15 years younger than her age credited diligent use of sunscreen for her youthful appearance. So... vanity was my first motivation for avoiding the sun. Heck, it's probably MOST of my motivation still.
My sister is extremely pale skinned (she can't tan) and doesn't go in the sun without lathering herself in sunscreen. She has perfect skin and it looks like she hasn't aged past 20 (she's approaching 30). After hearing her talk about this routine last year I've been wearing sunscreen everyday as well.
For the diligent/year round sunscreen users, do you live in climates with year round nice weather? Where I live we may get 4-5 months of summer like weather and then we have to bundle up for the seemingly endless winter.
Since we have only so many nice days I need to take advantage of the few that I can enjoy (with sunscreen of course)
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CountessKitteh wrote: »Confession: Between full-time work, full-time school, and all the in-law health stuff, I'm approaching rock bottom energy levels. I simply do not have anything left to pull from the tank.
Which naturally only makes me feel totally guilty.
Also, I have a huge (non-school) certification exam next Saturday and I am woefully underprepared because of everything else going on. Depending on how the next 8 days go, I will not be all that surprised if I fail it. So it goes.
=( that's A LOT to take on. I have 2 jobs and help everyone when I can. Babysitting, party planning, squeezing in a hour for yoga at the gym, Try to get in an AWESOME long nap and a power meal (lean meat, a good carb, salad and an indulgent dessert) and maybe take some Vitamin D I took supplements (over the next week+) I took them ALL winter because I was sooooo tired; it really helped. Most of all head up, dont forget to breathe, study as much as you can and believe in yourself. Most important - if you think it a lot of times it happens. you go in there and act like you already passed that and it's a refresher course. make it your b&%ch!0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »mysticlizard wrote: »I'm very pale like a bunch of you have said you are. I used to try tanning, but it didn't take. I've never had a tan or a sunburn in my life. I finally stopped trying and embraced my day walker skin. I sometimes get embarrassed by it, but I figure if people don't like it screw them. Being able to blind people with the color of my skin is a super power!
My daughter shares your super power. In our house we call it rockin' the Casper.
I'm also very pale & once had a co-worker comment on how white I was after coming back from Hawaii for the second time. The first time I went to Hawaii I had learned my lesson the hard way. Over there the heat is very dry & I thought well it's not as hot & humid like it is in Pennsylvania so I don't need to cake on the sunblock. Ugh! Huge mistake! I had huge welts all over my one arm from a horrendous sunburn. Luckily they didn't hurt, but it definitely taught me to be more vigilant while out in the sun.
I'm pale but by choice- I can tan really easily but I'm super OCD about having sunblock on anytime I'm outside! I'm terrified of wrinkles and skin cancer
You are very smart! (say the hypocrite tanning addict) I gave it up several years ago, but started again this past March. I love it! But I seriously need to stop.
My best friend had melanoma when we were in our early twenties and I've been watching my mom deal with all the consequences of being a sun bathing beauty her whole life! So just trying to avoid all of that
I tanned for a couple of years in my 20's. Getting a tan started is TOUGH for me because I'm blindingly pale. My mother is a redhead, and I'm whiter than she is.
I confess that I stopped not because of the fear of melanoma but because my friend who is 10 years older than me LOOKS more like 20-25 years older than me due to her decades of tanning, skin like leather.
Yes, this is right up there next to cancer for me so even if we didn't risk skin cancer from tanning I still wouldn't do it! I know lots of people hate being pale but I think it looks elegant honestly! I always think about how back in the day if you were pale it was a sign of wealth as you didn't have to spend all your days out working haha I'm not that shallow I swear! I just prefer being pale and I don't want to look like a leather hand bag in 10 years!
When my mom was in her 40's, she had a circle of friends, mostly people she worked with. I knew one or two of them were younger, but thought the rest were around her age. There was one woman who I thought was in her late 50's, because she definitely looked much older than the rest. Turns out she was mid-30's, and had already tanned herself into looking around 58 or so. I'd never had an interest in tanning before then, but that definitely killed any remote curiosity I had about it.
When I was a teen working a counter service job, many of our customers were retired, wealthy "snow birds" who wintered in warmer climates. The *ahem* older (as in, not much more than my age right now, lol) ladies would come in sporting heavily tanned skin that looked like old boot leather. I remember thinking how unattractive it was... ewwww, shrivelled cleavage... and "I don't ever want to look like that".
A couple of things I've read have stuck with me. Supposedly 90% of skin aging is "photo-aging" caused by UV. And "a year of incidental sun exposure is worth a day of baking at the beach". A former coworker who easily looked 15 years younger than her age credited diligent use of sunscreen for her youthful appearance. So... vanity was my first motivation for avoiding the sun. Heck, it's probably MOST of my motivation still.
Exactly! I know I already look young for my age and I want it to stay that way the older I become so I'm very strict about sunscreen! Even if it's overcast (they say the rays are even more powerful then) I always have it on! No wrinkles or skin cancer for me please!
I'm pale with a splash of freckles, my mom had a skin cancer scare a few years ago. I am super regimented with my sunscreen (all my moisturizers have at least SPF 15, winter or summer), I get one "burn" every year and get my skin checked every two years. I adore the sun but I will stay pasty pale forever lol0 -
@JPW1990 I know it isn't rare. Have many a friends who upon getting divorced suddenly find themselves in the company of much younger company. I shake my head as a older guy, but honestly there is a LOT of draw to it. Mostly it can capture that feeling of fleeting youth. Ya know, Jerry Lee Lewis "Middle Aged Crazy, trying to prove he still can...".
I am pretty grounded, but who knows. Was just thinking out loud. No plans for divorce or younger women at this point.
I have to admit, this made me pretty sad. I hope I'm youthful enough to keep my man....
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lizalmp1234 wrote: »My boyfriend isn't attracted to me anymore because I've gained weight.....I Haven't had sex in five years and it has honestly given me a bit of depression!!!!
Time for a new boyfriend!0 -
I live in Montreal, where it is almost constant winter and then a couple months of summer. To me it doesn't feel like spring and fall exist here! But sun can do damage to your skin even in the winter. A lot of people don't realize this, that it is still important to wear sunscreen in the winter time, at least to the exposed parts of your skinsmashley_mashley wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
My best friend's mom growing up went tanning very often and was the color of a dark carrot. I remember thinking she looked at least fifteen years older than my own mother, but she was five years younger. It horrified me, to be quite honest.rungirl1973 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »mysticlizard wrote: »I'm very pale like a bunch of you have said you are. I used to try tanning, but it didn't take. I've never had a tan or a sunburn in my life. I finally stopped trying and embraced my day walker skin. I sometimes get embarrassed by it, but I figure if people don't like it screw them. Being able to blind people with the color of my skin is a super power!
My daughter shares your super power. In our house we call it rockin' the Casper.
I'm also very pale & once had a co-worker comment on how white I was after coming back from Hawaii for the second time. The first time I went to Hawaii I had learned my lesson the hard way. Over there the heat is very dry & I thought well it's not as hot & humid like it is in Pennsylvania so I don't need to cake on the sunblock. Ugh! Huge mistake! I had huge welts all over my one arm from a horrendous sunburn. Luckily they didn't hurt, but it definitely taught me to be more vigilant while out in the sun.
I'm pale but by choice- I can tan really easily but I'm super OCD about having sunblock on anytime I'm outside! I'm terrified of wrinkles and skin cancer
You are very smart! (say the hypocrite tanning addict) I gave it up several years ago, but started again this past March. I love it! But I seriously need to stop.
My best friend had melanoma when we were in our early twenties and I've been watching my mom deal with all the consequences of being a sun bathing beauty her whole life! So just trying to avoid all of that
I tanned for a couple of years in my 20's. Getting a tan started is TOUGH for me because I'm blindingly pale. My mother is a redhead, and I'm whiter than she is.
I confess that I stopped not because of the fear of melanoma but because my friend who is 10 years older than me LOOKS more like 20-25 years older than me due to her decades of tanning, skin like leather.
Yes, this is right up there next to cancer for me so even if we didn't risk skin cancer from tanning I still wouldn't do it! I know lots of people hate being pale but I think it looks elegant honestly! I always think about how back in the day if you were pale it was a sign of wealth as you didn't have to spend all your days out working haha I'm not that shallow I swear! I just prefer being pale and I don't want to look like a leather hand bag in 10 years!
When my mom was in her 40's, she had a circle of friends, mostly people she worked with. I knew one or two of them were younger, but thought the rest were around her age. There was one woman who I thought was in her late 50's, because she definitely looked much older than the rest. Turns out she was mid-30's, and had already tanned herself into looking around 58 or so. I'd never had an interest in tanning before then, but that definitely killed any remote curiosity I had about it.
When I was a teen working a counter service job, many of our customers were retired, wealthy "snow birds" who wintered in warmer climates. The *ahem* older (as in, not much more than my age right now, lol) ladies would come in sporting heavily tanned skin that looked like old boot leather. I remember thinking how unattractive it was... ewwww, shrivelled cleavage... and "I don't ever want to look like that".
A couple of things I've read have stuck with me. Supposedly 90% of skin aging is "photo-aging" caused by UV. And "a year of incidental sun exposure is worth a day of baking at the beach". A former coworker who easily looked 15 years younger than her age credited diligent use of sunscreen for her youthful appearance. So... vanity was my first motivation for avoiding the sun. Heck, it's probably MOST of my motivation still.
My sister is extremely pale skinned (she can't tan) and doesn't go in the sun without lathering herself in sunscreen. She has perfect skin and it looks like she hasn't aged past 20 (she's approaching 30). After hearing her talk about this routine last year I've been wearing sunscreen everyday as well.
For the diligent/year round sunscreen users, do you live in climates with year round nice weather? Where I live we may get 4-5 months of summer like weather and then we have to bundle up for the seemingly endless winter.
Since we have only so many nice days I need to take advantage of the few that I can enjoy (with sunscreen of course)
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MissLaaber wrote: »I just got the a call from my mom saying she put our family dog down, we had him for 9 years. I'm sad even though I haven't lived at home in over 4 years.
I'm sorry about your dog. Loss is never easy.
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I'm lucky enough to have never gotten a sunburn. I do wear an SPF 50 or 100 spray if I'm going to be out in the sun for a while though. Don't spray 100 in the house, it sticks to the floor like crazy!
I need to pick up some prescription sunglasses.0 -
Double post.
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@JPW1990 I know it isn't rare. Have many a friends who upon getting divorced suddenly find themselves in the company of much younger company. I shake my head as a older guy, but honestly there is a LOT of draw to it. Mostly it can capture that feeling of fleeting youth. Ya know, Jerry Lee Lewis "Middle Aged Crazy, trying to prove he still can...".
I am pretty grounded, but who knows. Was just thinking out loud. No plans for divorce or younger women at this point.
I have to admit, this made me pretty sad. I hope I'm youthful enough to keep my man....
Now, see. Maybe I do have outrageously high self esteem. My opinion, if my man were to leave me and take up with a younger woman, he was too shallow for me anyway. LOL
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