Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »Feeling like crap today. I had a bad night of emotional eating..estimated 2000 calories over my goal ( I tend to not measure/weigh foods when I binge). I've done way worse..some days up to 5000 over! Anyway, I woke up today with an extra 3 pounds of water weight. Still did my workout though..running 8 miles with that bloated feeling is NOT FUN, but I did it. I knew I had a binge coming on at some point because tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my mom's death. Since that day last year, I have become a completely different person..I can't accept it, can't move on, can't find peace. I've become angry over little things and find comfort in eating. I gained 12 pounds because of it...would have been much worse if I didn't work out every day to counteract all the emotional eating/binges. I've been pretty good over the past two months..losing six of those extra pounds. I just need to get through today and tomorrow and really focus on finding a different way to deal with my emotions. I already feel like I'm going to give in again today though.
Ugh! Sorry to be a downer.
No need to apologize - that is what this thread is for! I'm very sorry for your loss. Grief is a long, difficult process. Any option of seeing a grief counselor or specialist? I'm sure it has been an incredibly long year, but in the big picture, a year is much TOO short of a time to expect to "get over it". You never get over it. You just learn to live with the pain.
Feel free to vent more here instead of eating - we're all here to listen.
Thank you (and to everyone else who has responded). And yeah, I have thought about seeing a counselor but I really don't think I ever will. I'm doing ok so far today...logged everything that I plan to eat and still have almost 600 calories left over from my run this morning and the 3mile walk with my son. My husband is taking the day off from work tomorrow to spend the day with me...because I just have no idea how tomorrow will be...afraid to relive the moment I got the phone call and be alone.
That is incredibly supportive and sweet. He sounds like a keeper. Prayers for peace and comfort during a difficult time.
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kellienw335 wrote: »I found this thread last night after looking for posts to make myself feel better for once again thinking I could eat out of the carton of ice cream without over doing. Like I hadn't learned that lesson already. The first two pages made me laugh til I cried, I so related to playing games with a food log that only I see. I didn't realize I wasn't alone. Thank you. I will be returning often.
Welcome to our safe place!
We have cookie butter, Oreos and Poptarts, and Funyuns.
FTFY0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »
Oh, I wish you didn't say this... I just recently discovered that there are WaWas really close to Disney World (where i go a LOT)... I can just imagine how delicious that would be in hot cocoa!!
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I'm scared of sounding a little bit silly here... but I wanted to feel really good about myself, so a few weeks back I ordered a corset. It came today and I put it on and I'm LOVING IT. I actually feel kind of sexy in this thing!! This is a little embarrassing...
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MissLaaber wrote: »I just got the a call from my mom saying she put our family dog down, we had him for 9 years. I'm sad even though I haven't lived at home in over 4 years.
I'm so sorry. you have every right to be sad, doesn't matter how long you have lived away, he was your family.0 -
Confession: I was craving mcdonalds and finally caved. First time in prob two years that I have had it. It was so SO SO good! I always feel ashamed for eating there because I know how unhealthy it is for you. But I have 400 cal left for dinner and now I am good for another 2 years!
The good side is. I went and bought two more free weights to add to my collection so that is a plus0 -
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smashley_mashley wrote: »Confession: I was craving mcdonalds and finally caved. First time in prob two years that I have had it. It was so SO SO good! I always feel ashamed for eating there because I know how unhealthy it is for you. But I have 400 cal left for dinner and now I am good for another 2 years!
The good side is. I went and bought two more free weights to add to my collection so that is a plus
Bah once in a while isn't going to hurt at all.
I actually haven't dared going back to fast food places. Worried I'll be disappointed and/or I'll end up spending the rest of the day on the toilet.0 -
I am officially at my goal weight as of today. I think that I would like to try putting on muscle and getting back up about 5-8 lbs.
Congratulations!!! I haven't yet ventured over into weight lifting, but I absolutely love the results other women are getting from it, so I know I'm going to have to give it a try at some point
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FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm scared of sounding a little bit silly here... but I wanted to feel really good about myself, so a few weeks back I ordered a corset. It came today and I put it on and I'm LOVING IT. I actually feel kind of sexy in this thing!! This is a little embarrassing...
That's pretty awesome, actually!
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FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm scared of sounding a little bit silly here... but I wanted to feel really good about myself, so a few weeks back I ordered a corset. It came today and I put it on and I'm LOVING IT. I actually feel kind of sexy in this thing!! This is a little embarrassing...
Not silly or embarrassing! That's awesome!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm scared of sounding a little bit silly here... but I wanted to feel really good about myself, so a few weeks back I ordered a corset. It came today and I put it on and I'm LOVING IT. I actually feel kind of sexy in this thing!! This is a little embarrassing...
That's pretty awesome, actually!
Thanks!! I'm thinking about just wearing it around the apartment during the day, hopefully as a motivation to stay on trackkellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm scared of sounding a little bit silly here... but I wanted to feel really good about myself, so a few weeks back I ordered a corset. It came today and I put it on and I'm LOVING IT. I actually feel kind of sexy in this thing!! This is a little embarrassing...
Not silly or embarrassing! That's awesome!
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It's a great movie.
I'm super picky about sunscreen.. read too many stories about how toxic they can be.
www.ewg.org/2015sunscreen/ was an eye opener.
Wow, I've never really heard/thought about it being toxic...thanks for the info. I don't really use it too often (I know I should). I'm usually an indoor person. I do try to use it when I know I'll be outside for a while (like my birthday bbq or a concert etc).
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FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm scared of sounding a little bit silly here... but I wanted to feel really good about myself, so a few weeks back I ordered a corset. It came today and I put it on and I'm LOVING IT. I actually feel kind of sexy in this thing!! This is a little embarrassing...
Anything that makes you feel sexy is a good thing
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FluffySandwich wrote: »
My best friend's mom growing up went tanning very often and was the color of a dark carrot. I remember thinking she looked at least fifteen years older than my own mother, but she was five years younger. It horrified me, to be quite honest.rungirl1973 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »mysticlizard wrote: »I'm very pale like a bunch of you have said you are. I used to try tanning, but it didn't take. I've never had a tan or a sunburn in my life. I finally stopped trying and embraced my day walker skin. I sometimes get embarrassed by it, but I figure if people don't like it screw them. Being able to blind people with the color of my skin is a super power!
My daughter shares your super power. In our house we call it rockin' the Casper.
I'm also very pale & once had a co-worker comment on how white I was after coming back from Hawaii for the second time. The first time I went to Hawaii I had learned my lesson the hard way. Over there the heat is very dry & I thought well it's not as hot & humid like it is in Pennsylvania so I don't need to cake on the sunblock. Ugh! Huge mistake! I had huge welts all over my one arm from a horrendous sunburn. Luckily they didn't hurt, but it definitely taught me to be more vigilant while out in the sun.
I'm pale but by choice- I can tan really easily but I'm super OCD about having sunblock on anytime I'm outside! I'm terrified of wrinkles and skin cancer
You are very smart! (say the hypocrite tanning addict) I gave it up several years ago, but started again this past March. I love it! But I seriously need to stop.
My best friend had melanoma when we were in our early twenties and I've been watching my mom deal with all the consequences of being a sun bathing beauty her whole life! So just trying to avoid all of that
I tanned for a couple of years in my 20's. Getting a tan started is TOUGH for me because I'm blindingly pale. My mother is a redhead, and I'm whiter than she is.
I confess that I stopped not because of the fear of melanoma but because my friend who is 10 years older than me LOOKS more like 20-25 years older than me due to her decades of tanning, skin like leather.
Yes, this is right up there next to cancer for me so even if we didn't risk skin cancer from tanning I still wouldn't do it! I know lots of people hate being pale but I think it looks elegant honestly! I always think about how back in the day if you were pale it was a sign of wealth as you didn't have to spend all your days out working haha I'm not that shallow I swear! I just prefer being pale and I don't want to look like a leather hand bag in 10 years!
When my mom was in her 40's, she had a circle of friends, mostly people she worked with. I knew one or two of them were younger, but thought the rest were around her age. There was one woman who I thought was in her late 50's, because she definitely looked much older than the rest. Turns out she was mid-30's, and had already tanned herself into looking around 58 or so. I'd never had an interest in tanning before then, but that definitely killed any remote curiosity I had about it.
When I was a teen working a counter service job, many of our customers were retired, wealthy "snow birds" who wintered in warmer climates. The *ahem* older (as in, not much more than my age right now, lol) ladies would come in sporting heavily tanned skin that looked like old boot leather. I remember thinking how unattractive it was... ewwww, shrivelled cleavage... and "I don't ever want to look like that".
A couple of things I've read have stuck with me. Supposedly 90% of skin aging is "photo-aging" caused by UV. And "a year of incidental sun exposure is worth a day of baking at the beach". A former coworker who easily looked 15 years younger than her age credited diligent use of sunscreen for her youthful appearance. So... vanity was my first motivation for avoiding the sun. Heck, it's probably MOST of my motivation still.
My sister is extremely pale skinned (she can't tan) and doesn't go in the sun without lathering herself in sunscreen. She has perfect skin and it looks like she hasn't aged past 20 (she's approaching 30). After hearing her talk about this routine last year I've been wearing sunscreen everyday as well.
My anti aging secret is just living in England, where it's normally cloudy or rainy. And spending daylight hours in the office. I rarely wear sunscreen unless I'm abroad. Maybe the two freak hot days per year that happen to fall on the weekend...0 -
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kellienw335 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm scared of sounding a little bit silly here... but I wanted to feel really good about myself, so a few weeks back I ordered a corset. It came today and I put it on and I'm LOVING IT. I actually feel kind of sexy in this thing!! This is a little embarrassing...
Not silly or embarrassing! That's awesome!
How is your fur baby? Any news from the vet yet?0 -
Speaking of fur babies... wonder how @Italian_Buju 's little fellow is doing?0
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Speaking of fur babies... wonder how @Italian_Buju 's little fellow is doing?
WOW...you read my mind, I was wondering too, hope everything is alright0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm scared of sounding a little bit silly here... but I wanted to feel really good about myself, so a few weeks back I ordered a corset. It came today and I put it on and I'm LOVING IT. I actually feel kind of sexy in this thing!! This is a little embarrassing...
Go you! Nothing silly about it at all!0 -
["That" older guy isn't as rare as you think.
@JPW1990 I know it isn't rare. Have many a friends who upon getting divorced suddenly find themselves in the company of much younger company. I shake my head as a older guy, but honestly there is a LOT of draw to it. Mostly it can capture that feeling of fleeting youth. Ya know, Jerry Lee Lewis "Middle Aged Crazy, trying to prove he still can...".
I am pretty grounded, but who knows. Was just thinking out loud. No plans for divorce or younger women at this point.
honestly, this is why at 34 i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be alone.
totally not judging you (after my parents divorced my dad spent years dating younger gals and then five years ago married a girl that is ONE year older than ME. i judge him )
anytime i go out i can't help but feel like i don't belong. there are young, stunning girls EVERYwhere, i can't imagine anyone settling for my older, pudgy butt. plus i'm also pretty sarcastic and b*tchy.
but seeing how i'm the reason my current relationship tanked, i really don't have anyone else to blame.
it's still kinda disappointing though.
I would too!
Don't give up on finding someone, I'm only 29 and sometimes it's hard since most gals my age are married or in committed relationships but most the time I'm happy as I have the rest of my life to be with someone may as well enjoy my "singleness" now. You'll find someone!! You are very pretty!
Agree that you are very pretty, plus you're pretty funny going off your additions to this thread and you will meet someone. I met my husband when I was 35 and got married at 37. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me. I used to tell myself I was "fundamentally unloveable". Everyone else said it would happen for me, they were right and I was wrong.
I remet my husband (we worked together when I was 18) at 40 and we just got married last year.
I thought I was going to be single forever and I was working on being okay with that.
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Speaking of fur babies... wonder how @Italian_Buju 's little fellow is doing?
Yes, I'm curious as well.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
I'm pretty sure part of it is from being sick and not eating much. I'll trade you your PR for my goal weight.
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Very few people know I write erotica lol
Ooh I'm always interested in good erotica!
I'm catching up 500 odd posts, so way behind. Had a horrific migraine yesterday and ate like a pig, very shameful. And as I went to throw away the remaining doughnuts in the car park this morning (so my partners wouldn't see the box), I decided to eat them instead. Then this afternoon, going to pick up cereal pots for breakfast at work, I came across hot fudge sundae and s'mores poptarts. So I bought them. I blame this thread wholly and solely for the fact I ate 3 tarts. I threw the 4th out the window.
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I'm more than likely going to binge on movie theater popcorn tonight
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quiksylver296 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »I found this thread last night after looking for posts to make myself feel better for once again thinking I could eat out of the carton of ice cream without over doing. Like I hadn't learned that lesson already. The first two pages made me laugh til I cried, I so related to playing games with a food log that only I see. I didn't realize I wasn't alone. Thank you. I will be returning often.
Welcome to our safe place!
We have cookie butter, Oreos and Poptarts, and Funyuns.
FTFY
Blech. I hate Funyuns. And where's my turtle cake @quiksylver296 ?
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