Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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  • Dingeman1
    Dingeman1 Posts: 4 Member
    edited June 2015
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    Laurend224 wrote: »
    I can't do any type of jumping jacks or running without my belly smacking the top of my thighs. It's really embarrassing. Going to talk to a surgeon about a panniculectomy. Three kids and yo-yoing between 140 and 252 a few times wrecked my belly.

    I know the embarrassing feeling. v.v

    Me too, I hear clapping when I run and its my belly fat slapping the top of my thigh
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
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    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
    Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
    dblo0gftzxej.jpg

    Thank you everyone for supportive messages.

    I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.

    @MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green

    Good for you!

    I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.

    I may have been doing one in my head just then. :blush:
    Is your accent more Downton Abbey or Dick Van *kitten* Cockney?
    Edit: That's hilarious, it censored Dick Van D y k e!!

    um, I'm not sure. I don't say governor, or tally ho ole chap (this reminds me of a friends episode where Ross is teaching a class and starts speaking with a TERRIBLE British accent).

    It's more like Kate Winslet or Kate Beckensale. So what would that be?
    I talk a bit like Kate Winslet - Home Counties girl. Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors is another good example.
    Fun fact: Kate W's from Reading, and had her (first) wedding reception in the hall of the school where my friend's daughters went. They apparently served bangers and mash.

    I live in Reading!!!!!!


    Omg!!! I'm in Slough!! If you ever fancy meeting for a long walk or run or something, give me shout*

    I hope that doesn't sound stalkery, I'd just love to have an mfp person to work out with
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    When I worked as a youth counselor at a wilderness boarding school we sometimes had rice with sugar and butter for breakfast and the girls called it "Poor boy cereal"..I was not a fan personally.

    You people putting sugar on your rice are monsters.

    Confession: There were times when I was super broke where rice with barbecue sauce was dinner. Still would.

    But there is sugar in barbecue sauce!
  • Epaho
    Epaho Posts: 32 Member
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    I'm tired of tracking calories and making time for exercise. I want nothing more than to sit on the couch with several sodas and a container of chili cheese fries while I watch an entire season of my favorite shows.
  • riderfangal
    riderfangal Posts: 1,965 Member
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    Dingeman1 wrote: »
    Laurend224 wrote: »
    I can't do any type of jumping jacks or running without my belly smacking the top of my thighs. It's really embarrassing. Going to talk to a surgeon about a panniculectomy. Three kids and yo-yoing between 140 and 252 a few times wrecked my belly.

    I know the embarrassing feeling. v.v

    Me too, I hear clapping when I run and its my belly fat slapping the top of my thigh

    It's usually my butt cheeks slapping together :)
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
    Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
    dblo0gftzxej.jpg

    Thank you everyone for supportive messages.

    I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.

    @MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green

    Good for you!

    I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.

    I may have been doing one in my head just then. :blush:

    Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican

    Alright, biscuits, then. :smile:

    Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES! :o Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.

    I miss scones. Never been able to enjoy one since my Grandma passed away. She made the best and always made a special batch for me without raisins. I hate raisins!!

    Count me in on the raisin-hating wagon!! In traditional Arabian dishes, raisins are popular to put into the rice. Makes me want to gag when I accidentally pop one into my mouth... X_X I *HATE* raisins. By themselves they're bad enough, but they absolutely ruin food for me when they're put into things like cookies or puddings. :-/

    I am quite known for telling people that raisins "do not belong in food."

    I do have a bag of the super tiny boxes in my office though. They're good for blood sugar headaches. Stupid raisins.

    My mom always put raisins in the stuffing at Thanksgiving. I love it and thought everybody did that until the first time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my husband. He was like "what the hell is this?!". LMAO 11 years later and he still fears the raisins.

    I put dried cranberries in mine. Yummy.
  • riderfangal
    riderfangal Posts: 1,965 Member
    Options
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
    Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
    dblo0gftzxej.jpg

    Thank you everyone for supportive messages.

    I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.

    @MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green

    Good for you!

    I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.

    I may have been doing one in my head just then. :blush:

    Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican

    Alright, biscuits, then. :smile:

    Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES! :o Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.

    I miss scones. Never been able to enjoy one since my Grandma passed away. She made the best and always made a special batch for me without raisins. I hate raisins!!

    Count me in on the raisin-hating wagon!! In traditional Arabian dishes, raisins are popular to put into the rice. Makes me want to gag when I accidentally pop one into my mouth... X_X I *HATE* raisins. By themselves they're bad enough, but they absolutely ruin food for me when they're put into things like cookies or puddings. :-/

    I am quite known for telling people that raisins "do not belong in food."

    I do have a bag of the super tiny boxes in my office though. They're good for blood sugar headaches. Stupid raisins.

    My mom always put raisins in the stuffing at Thanksgiving. I love it and thought everybody did that until the first time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my husband. He was like "what the hell is this?!". LMAO 11 years later and he still fears the raisins.

    I put dried cranberries in mine. Yummy.

    No, no, no, fruit does not belong in stuffing..not judging though :)
  • CountessKitteh
    CountessKitteh Posts: 1,505 Member
    Options
    Francl27 wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    When I worked as a youth counselor at a wilderness boarding school we sometimes had rice with sugar and butter for breakfast and the girls called it "Poor boy cereal"..I was not a fan personally.

    You people putting sugar on your rice are monsters.

    Confession: There were times when I was super broke where rice with barbecue sauce was dinner. Still would.

    But there is sugar in barbecue sauce!

    Technically, rice itself is sugar when it breaks down. Ha.

    I just cannot get behind rice pudding. That's like trying to make oatmeal savory. Does not compute!
  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
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    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    crosbylee wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    crosbylee wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.

    "You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."

    It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.

    Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.

    Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now. :'(

    How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.

    I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.

    My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.

    I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!



    Whatever happens, I am sure you and your hubby will be all the stronger for it. You are dealing with it together. I kind of have a similar thing, although the stepson lives in our house, we never see him due to work or his being out with friends, or he's asleep while we are all home. He's 23, we have gotten several used cars for him, this current one, he has been told will be the last one we purchase. Still he has no incentive to find his own place and move out. Our house is a little cramped and I had planned to move my youngest into his room, when I was under the impression he was moving out with a friend. That fell through, so now we are stuck. Still paying for his phone and car insurance too. He has been asked to pay for these things and has not begun to pay for them. His job is enough for him to pay for that at least. I am pretty frustrated myself.
    Yeah, that's tricky. I'll be interested to see if anyone else offers advice. My daughter is working now, but the plan is that this is a year off from university while she gets her health in check. We're still paying for her phone etc and she has use of a car (kind of shared between her and her brother), and I'm wondering if we should expect her to pay something towards her keep.

    Just my opinion, but I think that adults over 20 should definitely be paying something towards their keep, if not paying for all their own extras while living at home (car, phone, non-essentials). In my experience, people whose parents give them a free ride with no end in sight often just milk it for all it's worth.

    I may just be jealous though because my mom made me watch my baby brother for free after school and all day in the summer from the time I was 12 until I was 17 so she could work two jobs. Then, when I was 17 she made me get a real job and contribute to the household with the money I made. These kids don't know how good they have it and it irrationally bothers me.
    Yeah, I can understand your bitterness there. My daughter is 19 and really does know how good she has it. She's extremely grateful we're paying for education, and tries to step up wherever she can. She was excited to buy my husband a really nice birthday present because she has some money now. This, plus the fact that she will be going back to school at some point makes it hard to know what to do. She does pay for gas and all her personal expenses - we're not giving her any spending money now.

    I realize that I sound like a grumpy old man "kids these days don't know how good they have it.... uphill both ways in the snow etc!" :blush: I can understand not knowing exactly where to draw the line. I don't want to do what my mom did (obviously), but I also don't want to go too far the other way either.

    One thing that I thought was good - when I was 18, I moved in with my grandma, and she charged me $200 a month and I bought all my own shampoo and personal items. I was going to school and working minimum wage (which was under $6/hr at the time) and I could afford that. I think it helped me be responsible while not overwhelming me with too much at once.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
    Options
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
    Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
    dblo0gftzxej.jpg

    Thank you everyone for supportive messages.

    I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.

    @MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green

    Good for you!

    I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.

    I may have been doing one in my head just then. :blush:

    Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican

    Alright, biscuits, then. :smile:

    Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES! :o Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.

    I miss scones. Never been able to enjoy one since my Grandma passed away. She made the best and always made a special batch for me without raisins. I hate raisins!!

    Count me in on the raisin-hating wagon!! In traditional Arabian dishes, raisins are popular to put into the rice. Makes me want to gag when I accidentally pop one into my mouth... X_X I *HATE* raisins. By themselves they're bad enough, but they absolutely ruin food for me when they're put into things like cookies or puddings. :-/

    I am quite known for telling people that raisins "do not belong in food."

    I do have a bag of the super tiny boxes in my office though. They're good for blood sugar headaches. Stupid raisins.

    My mom always put raisins in the stuffing at Thanksgiving. I love it and thought everybody did that until the first time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my husband. He was like "what the hell is this?!". LMAO 11 years later and he still fears the raisins.

    I put dried cranberries in mine. Yummy.

    No, no, no, fruit does not belong in stuffing..not judging though :)

    I'm one of those weird people who like sweet and savory in the same dishes. I also like to add golden raisins to my vegetable salads. Just for a tiny sweet burst. I put them in my homemade applesauce, too.
  • crosbylee
    crosbylee Posts: 3,454 Member
    Options
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    When I worked as a youth counselor at a wilderness boarding school we sometimes had rice with sugar and butter for breakfast and the girls called it "Poor boy cereal"..I was not a fan personally.

    You people putting sugar on your rice are monsters.

    Confession: There were times when I was super broke where rice with barbecue sauce was dinner. Still would.

    My son will reheat leftover rice and top it with salsa and cheese.
  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
    Options
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    crosbylee wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    crosbylee wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.

    "You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."

    It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.

    Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.

    Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now. :'(

    How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.

    I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.

    My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.

    I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!



    Whatever happens, I am sure you and your hubby will be all the stronger for it. You are dealing with it together. I kind of have a similar thing, although the stepson lives in our house, we never see him due to work or his being out with friends, or he's asleep while we are all home. He's 23, we have gotten several used cars for him, this current one, he has been told will be the last one we purchase. Still he has no incentive to find his own place and move out. Our house is a little cramped and I had planned to move my youngest into his room, when I was under the impression he was moving out with a friend. That fell through, so now we are stuck. Still paying for his phone and car insurance too. He has been asked to pay for these things and has not begun to pay for them. His job is enough for him to pay for that at least. I am pretty frustrated myself.
    Yeah, that's tricky. I'll be interested to see if anyone else offers advice. My daughter is working now, but the plan is that this is a year off from university while she gets her health in check. We're still paying for her phone etc and she has use of a car (kind of shared between her and her brother), and I'm wondering if we should expect her to pay something towards her keep.

    Just my opinion, but I think that adults over 20 should definitely be paying something towards their keep, if not paying for all their own extras while living at home (car, phone, non-essentials). In my experience, people whose parents give them a free ride with no end in sight often just milk it for all it's worth.

    I may just be jealous though because my mom made me watch my baby brother for free after school and all day in the summer from the time I was 12 until I was 17 so she could work two jobs. Then, when I was 17 she made me get a real job and contribute to the household with the money I made. These kids don't know how good they have it and it irrationally bothers me.

    I agree, but it's not all "good". It's a short-term enabling and then they have no idea how to deal with the real world. I'm sorry you are bitter about some things in your past, but honestly, I guarantee that made you a better, stronger person!

    That's so true. A cousin of mine had wealthy parents, and they paid for everything - car, college, off campus apartment, spending money... he had to do nothing but go to class. I would have KILLED for that opportunity. I love school and would have done so well with that kind of support. My cousin? He failed out of college, flooded his apartment screwing around with the fire alarm, and became a criminal. Seriously.
  • crosbylee
    crosbylee Posts: 3,454 Member
    Options
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
    Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
    dblo0gftzxej.jpg

    Thank you everyone for supportive messages.

    I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.

    @MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green

    Good for you!

    I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.

    I may have been doing one in my head just then. :blush:

    Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican

    Alright, biscuits, then. :smile:

    Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES! :o Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.

    I miss scones. Never been able to enjoy one since my Grandma passed away. She made the best and always made a special batch for me without raisins. I hate raisins!!

    Count me in on the raisin-hating wagon!! In traditional Arabian dishes, raisins are popular to put into the rice. Makes me want to gag when I accidentally pop one into my mouth... X_X I *HATE* raisins. By themselves they're bad enough, but they absolutely ruin food for me when they're put into things like cookies or puddings. :-/

    I am quite known for telling people that raisins "do not belong in food."

    I do have a bag of the super tiny boxes in my office though. They're good for blood sugar headaches. Stupid raisins.

    My mom always put raisins in the stuffing at Thanksgiving. I love it and thought everybody did that until the first time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my husband. He was like "what the hell is this?!". LMAO 11 years later and he still fears the raisins.

    I put dried cranberries in mine. Yummy.

    No, no, no, fruit does not belong in stuffing..not judging though :)

    We will use some finely chopped apple in the stuffing, but that is mainly to maintain moisture.
  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,722 Member
    Options
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
    Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
    dblo0gftzxej.jpg

    Thank you everyone for supportive messages.

    I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.

    @MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green

    Good for you!

    I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.

    I may have been doing one in my head just then. :blush:

    Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican

    Alright, biscuits, then. :smile:

    Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES! :o Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.

    YES, a scone! I'll take a scone and some tea!


    Let's have a proper afternoon tea, with little sandwiches (not cucumber), cinnamon toast, little pastries, cakes and shortbread. And a nice light afternoon tea, Lady grey perhaps, or lapsing souchong

    I LOVE tea sandwiches.

  • berlynnwall
    berlynnwall Posts: 669 Member
    Options
    I like raisins on their own, but not in things. And the worst is when you think it's a chocolate chip, but it's really a raisin. Blech.
  • kellienw335
    kellienw335 Posts: 1,745 Member
    Options
    crosbylee wrote: »
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    When I worked as a youth counselor at a wilderness boarding school we sometimes had rice with sugar and butter for breakfast and the girls called it "Poor boy cereal"..I was not a fan personally.

    You people putting sugar on your rice are monsters.

    Confession: There were times when I was super broke where rice with barbecue sauce was dinner. Still would.

    My son will reheat leftover rice and top it with salsa and cheese.

    Now, that sounds good! I love salsa and Cholula hot sauce! And of course cheese makes everything better!
  • Kalici
    Kalici Posts: 685 Member
    Options
    @Orangesmartie I'm sorry you're going through all that. I hope it does help you to get it off your chest and that things start going better for you. I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
    Options
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    crosbylee wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    crosbylee wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.

    "You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."

    It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.

    Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.

    Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now. :'(

    How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.

    I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.

    My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.

    I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!



    Whatever happens, I am sure you and your hubby will be all the stronger for it. You are dealing with it together. I kind of have a similar thing, although the stepson lives in our house, we never see him due to work or his being out with friends, or he's asleep while we are all home. He's 23, we have gotten several used cars for him, this current one, he has been told will be the last one we purchase. Still he has no incentive to find his own place and move out. Our house is a little cramped and I had planned to move my youngest into his room, when I was under the impression he was moving out with a friend. That fell through, so now we are stuck. Still paying for his phone and car insurance too. He has been asked to pay for these things and has not begun to pay for them. His job is enough for him to pay for that at least. I am pretty frustrated myself.
    Yeah, that's tricky. I'll be interested to see if anyone else offers advice. My daughter is working now, but the plan is that this is a year off from university while she gets her health in check. We're still paying for her phone etc and she has use of a car (kind of shared between her and her brother), and I'm wondering if we should expect her to pay something towards her keep.

    Just my opinion, but I think that adults over 20 should definitely be paying something towards their keep, if not paying for all their own extras while living at home (car, phone, non-essentials). In my experience, people whose parents give them a free ride with no end in sight often just milk it for all it's worth.

    I may just be jealous though because my mom made me watch my baby brother for free after school and all day in the summer from the time I was 12 until I was 17 so she could work two jobs. Then, when I was 17 she made me get a real job and contribute to the household with the money I made. These kids don't know how good they have it and it irrationally bothers me.
    Yeah, I can understand your bitterness there. My daughter is 19 and really does know how good she has it. She's extremely grateful we're paying for education, and tries to step up wherever she can. She was excited to buy my husband a really nice birthday present because she has some money now. This, plus the fact that she will be going back to school at some point makes it hard to know what to do. She does pay for gas and all her personal expenses - we're not giving her any spending money now.

    I realize that I sound like a grumpy old man "kids these days don't know how good they have it.... uphill both ways in the snow etc!" :blush: I can understand not knowing exactly where to draw the line. I don't want to do what my mom did (obviously), but I also don't want to go too far the other way either.

    One thing that I thought was good - when I was 18, I moved in with my grandma, and she charged me $200 a month and I bought all my own shampoo and personal items. I was going to school and working minimum wage (which was under $6/hr at the time) and I could afford that. I think it helped me be responsible while not overwhelming me with too much at once.

    That is exactly the way to do it: balanced. Not always easy, but if you can find a way to do it it is extremely helpful.
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,365 Member
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    Also... This thread is pretty quiet for a Monday. It seems a lot of the regular posters aren't bothering to keep up anymore, and it's slowing down. This makes me very sad. :'(

    I'm on pag 918 with almost 30 to go... doesn't look like it's "slowing down" to me! :)