Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

Tubbs216 wrote: »

girldownsouth wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

ShibaEars wrote: »

Tubbs216 wrote: »

kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

Thanks for your kind comments, guys

I just dug out a dress of mine from last year and put it on to see if it was fit to bring to Punta Cana. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt ok... but I always feel like mirrors lie to me. I got out my new camera and took a VIDEO OF MYSELF standing in my dress to see what it looked like on camera. I have to say I'm pretty horrified by how terrible my arms look. Maybe with a tan my scars and such won't be as visible... man, those arms!!

EDIT: NO. This is bad. I posted this and I told myself I need to stop hating on myself. So, to take back some damage.... I really like my dimples
EDIT2: I don't want to bring my glasses to the beach to get them lost or stolen while I'm swimming... and I don't wear contacts, so it looks like I might have a partially blind trip.

I'm sure you looked fine in the dress. And you DO have adorable dimples.

I went to the eye doctor Saturday to get contact specifically for my trip. I would recommend it unless you have a weird eye thing like Rachel did on Friends. They will, or should, sample you out a pair to get a feel for them.

Thank you very much, my dimples are one of the only things I like about myself. My brother also inherited them, but he hates them (I think he believes they take away from his manliness).

My boyfriend just suggested I take off my glasses to get used to not wearing them, but he said my eyes look smaller and more squinty without them. I don't think he was trying to be insulting, but I don't want small and squinty eyes!

I have dimples too. The one on my right side is bigger than the left.

I'm also in the dimples club. I have back dimples too, which I always thought were weird until I read that they're apparently desirable. Who knew.

I'm in the "I wish I had dimples" club

They're not dimples but I always wanted freckles

I used to get freckles across my nose and cheekbones when I went skiing. Only time ever and I didn't really understand it

That's the kind of freckles people imagine when they want them - a youthful sprinkle like that. I'm pretty much covered in freckles, which isn't such a desirable look!

FroggyBug wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

girldownsouth wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

riderfangal wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

@bkhamill -I'm glad you are ok.

@nonoelmo -you do have perfect hair for your costume.

My boyfriend still isn't here. I'm wondering if he will bother showing up.

Thank you.

I'm sad for you about your boyfriend. Is this a pattern or one time /first time?

First time thing. Sigh. Oh well.


Anyway, I hope you all have a good weekend!

Wasn't this the day you were supposed to have the "talk"? Or am I completely wrong

Yes, he decided he was too tired to come over which caused another fight. We did end up talking Saturday. I'm going to try to work things out but I'm still torn. I want to try therapy and then if nothing changes, I'm done.

My heart physically hurts because I want to stay but yet leave. When things are good they are wonderful but I don't know if I can forgive, forget and trust again. That's why I want to try therapy first.

Now to catch up with the rest of the thread.

Can I ask a question, I apologise if it's intrusive. I'm guessing from some of the things you've said you live apart? But you said you've been together 11 years. Is moving in together something you've discussed? And if so what has stopped you?

Sorry I just saw this. Yea we live apart. We stay together (or used to-not so much now) a lot though. We had planned on moving in together but things keep getting in the way. I seriously think he is someone who doesn't want to make a serious commitment. That is one reason why I don't think this will work either way.

It sucks that I'm so in love with someone that I will probably have to leave someday. I just don't know how I'm going to get through everything.

That just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you've invested so much time in someone that doesn't seem to feel the same way. That really sucks. I wish you all the best because you deserve to be happy regardless if that's with or without someone else. Hugs to you, friend.

Thank you. He was a no show again last night (after he told me he would try to make me a priority...that shows me how important I am). I think he is done.

kellienw335 wrote: »

CountessKitteh wrote: »

m1xm0d3 wrote: »

Confession.... the punkass Kroger didn't have that Halo Top ice cream so instead I bought some 'artic' something @ 150 cal a pint. I got orange crème as I love that flavor and am highly critical so it will be the true taste test for me. We'll see. I am annoyed though the one time I visit Kroger, they don't have what I came for. This is the same store that up ended everything so shopping takes forever. I doubt I'll be going back unless it's for a cheap tray of sushi.

Arctic Zero is pretty much the worst thing to ever happen to ice cream.

I went to Kroger last night to pick up a couple things. I looked for Halo, could only find vanilla, and I'm not wasting calories on vanilla. While I was standing there looking longingly into the freezer case someone pulled out some of the Arctic Zero stuff. Thought about telling them I heard it wasn't good but didn't know how to say, 'a couple of my internet friends on a thread I love said that stuff is not very good'...awkward silence...and then I'd feel stupid.

Did buy the hubby some Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie because he was talking about it the other day. I passed on the ice cream because it's just not worth it to me. Sometimes I feel weird because the majority of you talk about ice cream and gelato and sugary cereal with marshmallows (gross) and I just don't go out of my way to eat any of that...although, I'm a sucker for potato chips and dark chocolate! Everyone has different weaknesses!

FroggyBug wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

Hi all,

Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Well I’ve been reading, but not posting. I’m having a really bad couple of weeks and I didn’t want to dump it all on you guys. However, I have missed you all immensely. Its strange how much I rely on this thread for fun and motivation. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much you have all helped motivate me.

My diet and exercise has gone out of the window, the binge monster is well and truly in situ and my brain is telling me all sorts of horrible things, about how fat and unfit I am, and always will be, and theres little point trying. And no matter how much weight I lose, my boyfriend will still never love me and I’ll never be able to climb the mountain and blah blah blah blah.

I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I’m so fat and just can’t see how I’m going to get it off. And I know binge eating isn’t going to help, but I seem totally incapable of controlling it.

There’s a bit of an issue going on between my boyfriend and I. We need to address it, but I am avoiding the issue. Because, irrational me says he’s going to tell me all the things I don’t want to hear (that I believe about myself). So the poor guy has been getting a really hard time, for something I *think* he might say. I’m not being very grown up about things at the moment.

Most of the problem is I have not been taking my anti-depressants properly. I miss lots of days at a time, and that is obviously contributing to the blackness. Rationally I know I can fix that. I have reminders on my phone and email to take it, but I mostly just ignore them. I don’t know why. I know they help.

And just to make another excuse, theres a lot going on. My mum has cancer and is having her operation today. Her recovery time means I need to be home to have Charlie (2yo nephew) a lot more, which interferes with my life a bit, and well just excuses really. I feel overwhelmed with everything.

I’m sorry to dump this all on you, but a couple of people here told me it might help to get it out. And a big thank you to those of you who messaged me to check in: @pofoster21, @girldownsouth and @nonoelmo @Lois_1989. I really did appreciate it, and it was nice to think people noticed and cared enough to send a note. I hope I can remember to do the same for others.

I am trying to remember that today is a new day and all I can do is try. And some advice given to me in a message was that you will be able to help me with that. And I know its true. As a support group, you lot are amazing.

Sometimes I think about not checking in/posting here but like you, I like reading this thread and it does make me feel better. I think that I'm complaining here too much and I don't want to bring anyone down. It is just nice to have someone to talk to sometimes. Please know that at least someone here cares about you and doesn't mind if you vent (I read everything here and I will listen if you need someone).

I am so down right now that it is hard to find reasons to keep going sometimes.

I'm so sorry about everything you are going through. I hope your mom gets through everything okay. That is really scary. I am also sorry you are having issues with your boyfriend as well. I'm right there with you on that one. (HUGS) If your meds help, make sure you are taking them!!!

crosbylee wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.

"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."

It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.

Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.

Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.

How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.

orangesmartie wrote: »

Hi all,

Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Well I’ve been reading, but not posting. I’m having a really bad couple of weeks and I didn’t want to dump it all on you guys. However, I have missed you all immensely. Its strange how much I rely on this thread for fun and motivation. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much you have all helped motivate me.

My diet and exercise has gone out of the window, the binge monster is well and truly in situ and my brain is telling me all sorts of horrible things, about how fat and unfit I am, and always will be, and theres little point trying. And no matter how much weight I lose, my boyfriend will still never love me and I’ll never be able to climb the mountain and blah blah blah blah.

I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I’m so fat and just can’t see how I’m going to get it off. And I know binge eating isn’t going to help, but I seem totally incapable of controlling it.

There’s a bit of an issue going on between my boyfriend and I. We need to address it, but I am avoiding the issue. Because, irrational me says he’s going to tell me all the things I don’t want to hear (that I believe about myself). So the poor guy has been getting a really hard time, for something I *think* he might say. I’m not being very grown up about things at the moment.

Most of the problem is I have not been taking my anti-depressants properly. I miss lots of days at a time, and that is obviously contributing to the blackness. Rationally I know I can fix that. I have reminders on my phone and email to take it, but I mostly just ignore them. I don’t know why. I know they help.

And just to make another excuse, theres a lot going on. My mum has cancer and is having her operation today. Her recovery time means I need to be home to have Charlie (2yo nephew) a lot more, which interferes with my life a bit, and well just excuses really. I feel overwhelmed with everything.

I’m sorry to dump this all on you, but a couple of people here told me it might help to get it out. And a big thank you to those of you who messaged me to check in: @pofoster21, @girldownsouth and @nonoelmo @Lois_1989. I really did appreciate it, and it was nice to think people noticed and cared enough to send a note. I hope I can remember to do the same for others.

I am trying to remember that today is a new day and all I can do is try. And some advice given to me in a message was that you will be able to help me with that. And I know its true. As a support group, you lot are amazing.

melimomTARDIS wrote: »

I purposefully design all my meals so I can eat large portions for little calories. Despite losing a bajillion pounds, and maintaining the loss, I still need QUANITITY to feel full.

My guests are aghast when they see my big ol' jethro portions. (ie- huge bowls of air popped popcorn, 2 or 3 potatoes with my dinner, mountains of salad... etc)

MoHousdon wrote: »

I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.

"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."

It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.

Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.

Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.

orangesmartie wrote: »

Tubbs216 wrote: »

FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))

Thank you everyone for supportive messages.

I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.

@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green

orangesmartie wrote: »

Hi all,

Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Well I’ve been reading, but not posting. I’m having a really bad couple of weeks and I didn’t want to dump it all on you guys. However, I have missed you all immensely. Its strange how much I rely on this thread for fun and motivation. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much you have all helped motivate me.

My diet and exercise has gone out of the window, the binge monster is well and truly in situ and my brain is telling me all sorts of horrible things, about how fat and unfit I am, and always will be, and theres little point trying. And no matter how much weight I lose, my boyfriend will still never love me and I’ll never be able to climb the mountain and blah blah blah blah.

I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I’m so fat and just can’t see how I’m going to get it off. And I know binge eating isn’t going to help, but I seem totally incapable of controlling it.

There’s a bit of an issue going on between my boyfriend and I. We need to address it, but I am avoiding the issue. Because, irrational me says he’s going to tell me all the things I don’t want to hear (that I believe about myself). So the poor guy has been getting a really hard time, for something I *think* he might say. I’m not being very grown up about things at the moment.

Most of the problem is I have not been taking my anti-depressants properly. I miss lots of days at a time, and that is obviously contributing to the blackness. Rationally I know I can fix that. I have reminders on my phone and email to take it, but I mostly just ignore them. I don’t know why. I know they help.

And just to make another excuse, theres a lot going on. My mum has cancer and is having her operation today. Her recovery time means I need to be home to have Charlie (2yo nephew) a lot more, which interferes with my life a bit, and well just excuses really. I feel overwhelmed with everything.

I’m sorry to dump this all on you, but a couple of people here told me it might help to get it out. And a big thank you to those of you who messaged me to check in: @pofoster21, @girldownsouth and @nonoelmo @Lois_1989. I really did appreciate it, and it was nice to think people noticed and cared enough to send a note. I hope I can remember to do the same for others.

I am trying to remember that today is a new day and all I can do is try. And some advice given to me in a message was that you will be able to help me with that. And I know its true. As a support group, you lot are amazing.

MoHousdon wrote: »

crosbylee wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.

"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."

It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.

Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.

Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.

How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.

I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.

My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.

I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!