Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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melimomTARDIS wrote: »I purposefully design all my meals so I can eat large portions for little calories. Despite losing a bajillion pounds, and maintaining the loss, I still need QUANITITY to feel full.
My guests are aghast when they see my big ol' jethro portions. (ie- huge bowls of air popped popcorn, 2 or 3 potatoes with my dinner, mountains of salad... etc)
This is paramount to my diet. I will always sacrifice tasty food for a much larger serving of something lower or equal value. At the end of the meal I gotta feel FULL.0 -
That's the kind of freckles people imagine when they want them - a youthful sprinkle like that. I'm pretty much covered in freckles, which isn't such a desirable look!girldownsouth wrote: »
I'm also in the dimples club. I have back dimples too, which I always thought were weird until I read that they're apparently desirable. Who knew.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
Thank you very much, my dimples are one of the only things I like about myself.FluffySandwich wrote: »Thanks for your kind comments, guys
I just dug out a dress of mine from last year and put it on to see if it was fit to bring to Punta Cana. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt ok... but I always feel like mirrors lie to me.
I got out my new camera and took a VIDEO OF MYSELF standing in my dress to see what it looked like on camera. I have to say I'm pretty horrified by how terrible my arms look. Maybe with a tan my scars and such won't be as visible... man, those arms!! 
EDIT: NO. This is bad. I posted this and I told myself I need to stop hating on myself. So, to take back some damage.... I really like my dimples
EDIT2: I don't want to bring my glasses to the beach to get them lost or stolen while I'm swimming... and I don't wear contacts, so it looks like I might have a partially blind trip.
I'm sure you looked fine in the dress. And you DO have adorable dimples.
I went to the eye doctor Saturday to get contact specifically for my trip. I would recommend it unless you have a weird eye thing like Rachel did on Friends. They will, or should, sample you out a pair to get a feel for them. My brother also inherited them, but he hates them (I think he believes they take away from his manliness).
My boyfriend just suggested I take off my glasses to get used to not wearing them, but he said my eyes look smaller and more squinty without them. I don't think he was trying to be insulting, but I don't want small and squinty eyes!
I have dimples too. The one on my right side is bigger than the left.
I'm in the "I wish I had dimples" club
They're not dimples but I always wanted freckles
I used to get freckles across my nose and cheekbones when I went skiing. Only time ever and I didn't really understand it
Count me in the "covered with freckles" group. I have them everywhere that has ever been exposed to the sun.
I have freckles on my face, especially my nose. Getting worse every year. I don't know how I feel about them, honestly.0 -
I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
(HUGS) I'm so sorry. That is a very messed up situation and I feel bad for you and your husband. I do have to say I respect that you worded your message to her so nicely. It's hard to do when you are upset. I really hope that she does come over to talk to her dad (poor guy).
I also feel bad for the cat. I know he is tearing up your stuff but it might be because he feels neglected by your stepdaughter and is acting out. I can't stand it when people abandon their pets. She must not really care about the cat too much. I wouldn't blame you if you did end up dropping him off at a shelter. It shouldn't be something you have to worry about.0 -
I took my daughter to Ethiopian food tonight. Her first time. It is so good at least to me and she liked it a lot too. Savory and just spicy enough to be really tasty. Mmmm.
Her follow up visit with the nutritionist is tomorrow.
@nonoelmo you live in Tucson, right? Was this Zeman's? I miss Zeman's so much...0 -
Are we watching cricket and eating cake?orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
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I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
Good for you. I hope she does the right thing by waking up and realizing how her actions, or lack of action, has brought this problem on herself as well as her family.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »Hi all,
Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Well I’ve been reading, but not posting. I’m having a really bad couple of weeks and I didn’t want to dump it all on you guys. However, I have missed you all immensely. Its strange how much I rely on this thread for fun and motivation. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much you have all helped motivate me.
My diet and exercise has gone out of the window, the binge monster is well and truly in situ and my brain is telling me all sorts of horrible things, about how fat and unfit I am, and always will be, and theres little point trying. And no matter how much weight I lose, my boyfriend will still never love me and I’ll never be able to climb the mountain and blah blah blah blah.
I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I’m so fat and just can’t see how I’m going to get it off. And I know binge eating isn’t going to help, but I seem totally incapable of controlling it.
There’s a bit of an issue going on between my boyfriend and I. We need to address it, but I am avoiding the issue. Because, irrational me says he’s going to tell me all the things I don’t want to hear (that I believe about myself). So the poor guy has been getting a really hard time, for something I *think* he might say. I’m not being very grown up about things at the moment.
Most of the problem is I have not been taking my anti-depressants properly. I miss lots of days at a time, and that is obviously contributing to the blackness. Rationally I know I can fix that. I have reminders on my phone and email to take it, but I mostly just ignore them. I don’t know why. I know they help.
And just to make another excuse, theres a lot going on. My mum has cancer and is having her operation today. Her recovery time means I need to be home to have Charlie (2yo nephew) a lot more, which interferes with my life a bit, and well just excuses really. I feel overwhelmed with everything.
I’m sorry to dump this all on you, but a couple of people here told me it might help to get it out. And a big thank you to those of you who messaged me to check in: @pofoster21, @girldownsouth and @nonoelmo @Lois_1989. I really did appreciate it, and it was nice to think people noticed and cared enough to send a note. I hope I can remember to do the same for others.
I am trying to remember that today is a new day and all I can do is try. And some advice given to me in a message was that you will be able to help me with that. And I know its true. As a support group, you lot are amazing.
I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. Just remember...after the rain, comes the rainbow. Hugs to you. You WILL get through this.0 -
I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.
I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.
My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.
I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!
Well, this has been going on for a while. No need to ruin vacation plans over it. I'd just ignore it as best you can. You both deserve your anniversary and vacation and nothing is going to change with the step-daughter in the next few weeks anyway, I'm guessing.
Nineteen is a tough age! Yes, they should be adults, but their brains are still developing and lack maturity. She will get better at some point, but probably not until her early 20's, IME. My kids all became normal humans again by 21 or so.0 -
I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.
I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.
My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.
I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!
Whatever happens, I am sure you and your hubby will be all the stronger for it. You are dealing with it together. I kind of have a similar thing, although the stepson lives in our house, we never see him due to work or his being out with friends, or he's asleep while we are all home. He's 23, we have gotten several used cars for him, this current one, he has been told will be the last one we purchase. Still he has no incentive to find his own place and move out. Our house is a little cramped and I had planned to move my youngest into his room, when I was under the impression he was moving out with a friend. That fell through, so now we are stuck. Still paying for his phone and car insurance too. He has been asked to pay for these things and has not begun to pay for them. His job is enough for him to pay for that at least. I am pretty frustrated myself.0 -
maryelgin1988 wrote: »I wish I had the bod of Rosa Acosta! !! Yeah I know I probably never will but before I stuff my face w cupcakes or want to junk food out next time, I'm going to visualize her body w my head. Lol
So I had to google that name. Wooo lawdhammercy!0 -
Are we watching cricket and eating cake?orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
OOOOOHHH, CAKE!
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CountessKitteh wrote: »An update, a request for opinions, and a confession.
Update: I actually REALLY liked the lemon cake Halo Top! It was sorbet-ish, but not. Which makes very little sense, I realize. But the lemon helped to dull the artifical sweetner after taste. Again, if I want to indulge, I'm scarfing Talenti, but I think I'll keep this on hand just in case.
Request: I have that job interview on Friday afternoon (eep!). They want 3 professional references, who they will contact BEFORE extending an offer. I intend to use my boss at my former part time job (which I had on top of my full-time job), and a friend who was also a coworker at two previous jobs, but I'm stuck on the third.
I WANT to use my former supervisor at the company I'm currently with (who actually worked at the hospital I'm intervewing with eons ago), but she's still with our company and I'm worried that it will somehow get back to people here, which I REALLY don't want to deal with - especially if I don't get the job. Not that I think she'd set out to tell everyone, since we're buds, but it's a weird situation and you never know if it'll slip.
Thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions? Thanks!
Confession: Going to see Jurassic World tonight. Eating delicious Mexican "fast food" (Moe's Southwest Grill) beforehand. Might do more damage with chips than I would with popcorn! Don't care!
Good luck on the interview!!0 -
Is your accent more Downton Abbey or Dick Van *kitten* Cockney?orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
Good for you!
I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.
I may have been doing one in my head just then.
Edit: That's hilarious, it censored Dick Van D y k e!!0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »I WANT to use my former supervisor at the company I'm currently with (who actually worked at the hospital I'm intervewing with eons ago), but she's still with our company and I'm worried that it will somehow get back to people here, which I REALLY don't want to deal with - especially if I don't get the job. Not that I think she'd set out to tell everyone, since we're buds, but it's a weird situation and you never know if it'll slip.
Talk to her first. Stress the importance of your privacy. If she is a professional, she will keep it to herself. (Maybe give her a "what if" scenario and see her reaction first?) Good luck!
I didn't know what to suggest but this is actually a really good idea.
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I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.
I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.
My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.
I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!
Ugh I'm sorry. I hope you have a great vacation. Maybe just enjoy each other and try not to talk about your step daughter at all 0 -
I did too. The porn star plastic boobs and photo poses didn't really tie in with the ballet and fitness profile I read..? Confused.maryelgin1988 wrote: »I wish I had the bod of Rosa Acosta! !! Yeah I know I probably never will but before I stuff my face w cupcakes or want to junk food out next time, I'm going to visualize her body w my head. Lol
So I had to google that name. Wooo lawdhammercy!
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »Had two big glasses of wine and am enjoying the slightly fuzzy state of mind. I just got done reading a book where the characters were constantly talking about delicious strawberry wine and it made me crave the stuff. Problem is... I never had strawberry wine. Is it any good? Does anyone know OF good strawberry wine?
Also, that purse thing is rough. I can't even imagine Im sorry and I hope a good person returns it to you.
When I was in my teens and buying wine on a fake ID I used to buy Boone's Farm Strawberry Wine. Like $2 a bottle. Liked it then. Now...ewww. But maybe a better brand would be better?
Holy crap! Boones Farm...oh the memories. Speaking of..my high school graduation was 20 years ago, yesterday! Whew!
Boones Farm...oh, it's been awhile. A friend and I also drank Jack Daniel's Country Coolers. I don't remember the exact day, but 20 years for me too! And we have the same name, except yours is spelled wrong!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »*whining* Guuuuuys (Well, girls...)! I got two new abuse flags. I'm curious and I want to know what posts they were on! I hate this anonymous flagging thing--I NEED TO KNOW WHAT GOT FLAGGED. I don't care who flagged it, I just want to know what I said that was apparently so offensive! (I actually went back to see if it was my reply to MrFitness, but it wasn't. And that's like... The rudest post I've ever made on this forum. Who would have thought!)
*end of whining*
I was surprised that I have a flag as well. I wish I knew which post it was as well.
*sigh* Don't you just hate not knowing?
Confession: I baked cookies.
Confession #2: My calories? Blown. *sniffle*0 -
Yeah, that's tricky. I'll be interested to see if anyone else offers advice. My daughter is working now, but the plan is that this is a year off from university while she gets her health in check. We're still paying for her phone etc and she has use of a car (kind of shared between her and her brother), and I'm wondering if we should expect her to pay something towards her keep.I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.
I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.
My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.
I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!
Whatever happens, I am sure you and your hubby will be all the stronger for it. You are dealing with it together. I kind of have a similar thing, although the stepson lives in our house, we never see him due to work or his being out with friends, or he's asleep while we are all home. He's 23, we have gotten several used cars for him, this current one, he has been told will be the last one we purchase. Still he has no incentive to find his own place and move out. Our house is a little cramped and I had planned to move my youngest into his room, when I was under the impression he was moving out with a friend. That fell through, so now we are stuck. Still paying for his phone and car insurance too. He has been asked to pay for these things and has not begun to pay for them. His job is enough for him to pay for that at least. I am pretty frustrated myself.
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I do and yes it is.WestCoastJo82 wrote: »
I took my daughter to Ethiopian food tonight. Her first time. It is so good at least to me and she liked it a lot too. Savory and just spicy enough to be really tasty. Mmmm.
Her follow up visit with the nutritionist is tomorrow.
@nonoelmo you live in Tucson, right? Was this Zeman's? I miss Zeman's so much...
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FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm thinking that maybe you guys were flagged because someone thought they were hitting the quote button but accidentally hit flag? Can that happen? I can't think of another reason because your posts haven't been very scandalous. Unless you're a couple of mischievous rascals in other threads. Also, are you told if you've been flagged? I'm curious to see if I have any, but I'm guessing I would know if I did.
I'm never a mischievous rascal! I'm such a good little child...
Nope, you don't get told unless the mods find the flag to be pertinent and they warn you. Otherwise, they just sit there on your "Community" profile. You can check by clicking the bell at the top right of the page, then clicking "All Notifications". It will display your community profile and you can see your flags. You can't see "All Notifications" unless you have at least one, though. -_-
Like so:
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I just had 4 packs of mini whoppers and a dr. pepper for lunch. Yup...0
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Are we watching cricket and eating cake?orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
I don't care what we're doing as long as there are real English people there who I can listen to speak 0 -
Is your accent more Downton Abbey or Dick Van *kitten* Cockney?orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
Good for you!
I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.
I may have been doing one in my head just then.
Edit: That's hilarious, it censored Dick Van D y k e!!
But not cockney? Hmm MFP fail0 -
I did too. The porn star plastic boobs and photo poses didn't really tie in with the ballet and fitness profile I read..? Confused.maryelgin1988 wrote: »I wish I had the bod of Rosa Acosta! !! Yeah I know I probably never will but before I stuff my face w cupcakes or want to junk food out next time, I'm going to visualize her body w my head. Lol
So I had to google that name. Wooo lawdhammercy!
LOL once I saw the google image thumbnails I didn't go any further. Don't wanna set off the web filters in IT.0 -
My husband has a fairly 'posh' English accent (his mother - RIP - sounded like the Queen) and he has no idea that women swoon when he talks to them.
Are we watching cricket and eating cake?orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
I don't care what we're doing as long as there are real English people there who I can listen to speak
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I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.
I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.
My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.
I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!
Well, this has been going on for a while. No need to ruin vacation plans over it. I'd just ignore it as best you can. You both deserve your anniversary and vacation and nothing is going to change with the step-daughter in the next few weeks anyway, I'm guessing.
Nineteen is a tough age! Yes, they should be adults, but their brains are still developing and lack maturity. She will get better at some point, but probably not until her early 20's, IME. My kids all became normal humans again by 21 or so.
I disagree, honestly. I'm 20, and I've had to adult (yes, I'm using that as a verb.
) since I was 14 or 15 years old, due to circumstances beyond my own control. The behavior of others my age frankly disgusts me sometimes--they're old enough to have some manners and consideration for the feelings of other people, they just don't want to bother. 0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »Hi all,
Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Well I’ve been reading, but not posting. I’m having a really bad couple of weeks and I didn’t want to dump it all on you guys. However, I have missed you all immensely. Its strange how much I rely on this thread for fun and motivation. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much you have all helped motivate me.
My diet and exercise has gone out of the window, the binge monster is well and truly in situ and my brain is telling me all sorts of horrible things, about how fat and unfit I am, and always will be, and theres little point trying. And no matter how much weight I lose, my boyfriend will still never love me and I’ll never be able to climb the mountain and blah blah blah blah.
I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I’m so fat and just can’t see how I’m going to get it off. And I know binge eating isn’t going to help, but I seem totally incapable of controlling it.
There’s a bit of an issue going on between my boyfriend and I. We need to address it, but I am avoiding the issue. Because, irrational me says he’s going to tell me all the things I don’t want to hear (that I believe about myself). So the poor guy has been getting a really hard time, for something I *think* he might say. I’m not being very grown up about things at the moment.
Most of the problem is I have not been taking my anti-depressants properly. I miss lots of days at a time, and that is obviously contributing to the blackness. Rationally I know I can fix that. I have reminders on my phone and email to take it, but I mostly just ignore them. I don’t know why. I know they help.
And just to make another excuse, theres a lot going on. My mum has cancer and is having her operation today. Her recovery time means I need to be home to have Charlie (2yo nephew) a lot more, which interferes with my life a bit, and well just excuses really. I feel overwhelmed with everything.
I’m sorry to dump this all on you, but a couple of people here told me it might help to get it out. And a big thank you to those of you who messaged me to check in: @pofoster21, @girldownsouth and @nonoelmo @Lois_1989. I really did appreciate it, and it was nice to think people noticed and cared enough to send a note. I hope I can remember to do the same for others.
I am trying to remember that today is a new day and all I can do is try. And some advice given to me in a message was that you will be able to help me with that. And I know its true. As a support group, you lot are amazing.
Sometimes I think about not checking in/posting here but like you, I like reading this thread and it does make me feel better. I think that I'm complaining here too much and I don't want to bring anyone down. It is just nice to have someone to talk to sometimes. Please know that at least someone here cares about you and doesn't mind if you vent (I read everything here and I will listen if you need someone).
I am so down right now that it is hard to find reasons to keep going sometimes.
I'm so sorry about everything you are going through. I hope your mom gets through everything okay. That is really scary. I am also sorry you are having issues with your boyfriend as well. I'm right there with you on that one. (HUGS) If your meds help, make sure you are taking them!!!
I have watched your posts and itched to comment. Many years ago, my ex did something similar to me, chatting online with a woman, getting her to send explicit photos. We talked, I forgave (I was 18 and in love). He did it to me twice more before I left him. I thought I would die without him. But I survived, if only out of spite and you will too, slowly but surely.
You are not complaining, you are taking a healthy, therapeutic approach to sorting through the noise in your head. The added bonus of us v real people is we're automatically on your side.
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Haha, yes!
Is your accent more Downton Abbey or Dick Van *kitten* Cockney?orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
Good for you!
I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.
I may have been doing one in my head just then.
Edit: That's hilarious, it censored Dick Van D y k e!!
But not cockney? Hmm MFP fail
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orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
Good for you!
I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.
I may have been doing one in my head just then.
Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican
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