"Asking if I've lost weight isn't a compliment"

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  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    Discussing my weight at all is not acceptable. It is a horribly rude topic and I'd rather be punched in the face then discuss my weight with random people with no social skills who think it is an acceptable topic.
  • professionalHobbyist
    professionalHobbyist Posts: 1,316 Member
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    I am not sure how to feel about that article.

    On one hand some people are super sensitive and that gets annoying when whatever it is for them is worn like a cross they are nailed to.

    But then again I hear that weight loss comment myself all the time. I have lost over 125 lbs. and at the gym it is every other day.

    But I don't ever say it to women unless they are at the gym and I know they are working on it. I encourage my friends and they seem to enjoy their hard work is paying off.

    But outside of the gym...

    There are so many women sensitive about so many things it is just easier to say nothing more than hello instead of negotiating the minefield of socially taboo topics for her in particular.

    I don't mind being asked. But outside of gym buddies I leave that topic alone.
  • Jaedynmoon
    Jaedynmoon Posts: 280 Member
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    My family is always saying I'm too skinny. That's when I flex in their face and say skinny can't have muscles. You just have to find a way to make the uncomfortable question turn into a weird situation. At least it works for me :) In regards to your question, I think it's just a topic starter that people say when they don't really know what else to say.
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
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    Boo fricking hoo.

    "I like your new hairstyle." "Why did you remind me of my old, terrible one?!!?!?!"

    What a way to go through life.
  • strong_curves
    strong_curves Posts: 2,229 Member
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    It's a double edged sword. I've seen people complain that no one said anything about their weight loss just as much as I've seen people get upset because someone asked if they have lost some weight. I actually had a co-worker get upset with me because I didn't say anything about the weight she lost. I just don't say anything and even if they do mention it I still don't say anything. It's a potential mine field all around.
  • momasox
    momasox Posts: 158 Member
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    I can't wait for someone to ask if I have lost weight. Seems like a great compliment to me.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
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    momasox wrote: »
    I can't wait for someone to ask if I have lost weight. Seems like a great compliment to me.

    Definitely! I would take it as a compliment.
    On the same token, I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me if I'd gained weight either. Often times other people notice before we do..

  • vivmom2014
    vivmom2014 Posts: 1,647 Member
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    I've remarked to someone who lost a lot of weight, "You're shrinking!" I mean, to say nothing about it? It's a hard won accomplishment and to ignore it completely (particularly if you haven't seen the person for a while) seems disingenuous at best. It wasn't that this person had been ill; I think you can tell if someone looks sickly. She was thrilled to say, "Yes! I've lost 43 pounds!"
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    People need to just get over themselves. People can be tactless but others may just not know how to say it. A simple, "you look great" would suffice and that's typically what I stick with.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    I'm not going to click on it. I'm just going to agree with @christinev297.
  • SkinnyCat39
    SkinnyCat39 Posts: 122 Member
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    Yes I agree with Christinev297 also.
  • mdjones325
    mdjones325 Posts: 3 Member
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    The whole article borderlines on "fat acceptance." Get over yourself already.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
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    TL;DR. People need to get over themselves. I didn't get offended when a much older lady I know said that I had lost more than enough weight already and didn't need to lose any more. I laughed and said I had 20 more pounds to go.
  • zdyb23456
    zdyb23456 Posts: 1,706 Member
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    I'd take it as a compliment because I feel like I've been working hard to lose weight. I've lost 8 pounds and no one has noticed...

    Although, I was a bit taken back when my step-mom's mom... so does that make her my step-grandmother? Anyway, she hadn't seen me since the birth of my second baby, I had another baby who was 18 months at the time when I saw her and she said to my face "wow, you stayed thin!" It wasn't the thin comment that bothered me, it was the sheer surprise in her face/voice. Like I was doomed to be overweight because I had 3 kids? Or that she didn't think I could lose the baby weight a third time? But it sure seemed like she expected me to be fat.
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
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    I always take it as a compliment. That article was really whiney.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
    edited July 2015
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    I don't mind when someone asks me if I've lost weight and they mean it as a compliment, because I'm trying to lose weight and so it is confirmation that I'm achieving my goals. I do get how someone who is NOT trying to lose weight would get frustrated by getting "have you lost weight?" instead of "you look great!" because it does imply that to look better, they need to lose weight.

    Real life example - my young-teen stepdaughter is very sensitive about her weight, she's at 'that stage'. Her grandma would often say "You've lost weight, you look lovely!" and I've had my husband interceede with his mum to ask her to stop that, because I think it says to the kid that to look good, she needs to lose weight.
  • lindathom209
    lindathom209 Posts: 19 Member
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    I am completely against fat shaming but this is just stupid. If someone isn't intentionally trying to be rude, there is no reason to make them feel like *kitten* when they were just trying to give you a compliment.
  • RAinWA
    RAinWA Posts: 1,980 Member
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    I always laugh when people I haven't seen in awhile ask me "have you lost weight?" Uh, yeah, I've lost 125+ pounds, it's kind of noticeable. Last time it happened I told them "maybe a pound or two, thanks for noticing!"
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
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    Seriously, if someone gets offended by something like this, then how do they get through everyday life??
    All I can say is- Toughen up Buttercup!

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