"Asking if I've lost weight isn't a compliment"
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Op are you going to "discuss" ?
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MoiAussi93 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »
I think if people are offended by it then they need to get over themselves as they are the ones who are encouraging all this crap in our lives where no one can say anything to anybody for fear of "offending" someone...even Merry Christmas is scrutinized now...happy holidays my butt.
Grrrrrrrrr the "happy holidays" thing makes my hackles stand up! It's Christmas, and everyone should have a MERRY one
Agreed! I say Merry Christmas. And I send Christmas cards, not "happy holidays"...even to friends who aren't religious or are non-Christian religions...because Christmas is also a secular holiday...not just a religious one. Well adjusted people don't get offended by things like that...they take it as the expression of goodwill it was intended as.
As a jew, it's tough to be in the minority during December. While I don't get offended if someone wishes me a Merry christmas (as my students do it all the time, LOL!), there is nothing about christmas (to non-christians) that marks it as a secular holiday. it is a religious holiday -- whether christians celebrate it that way or not. I have a fun christmas day with my husband at the movies -- but we don't celebrate it as a "merry christmas"....I'm sorry "happy holidays" gets your hackles up, but sometimes it's important to remember that not everyone is christian.
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ManiacalLaugh wrote: »In none of these contexts did I think the comment/question was inappropriate or rude.
I had a few comments that sounded like insult/rude but were compliments and I took them that way.
Had a co worker say I had lost a "poo" tonne of weight. If I went by that article in the op that would likely be seen as an insult and wrong to say. I took it as a compliment cause I had lost a lot of weight.
My brother said I looked like a prisoner of war cause I had lost a lot of weight. Again could be seen as an insult but I took it as the compliment it was meant as.
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eileensofianmushinfine wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »
I think if people are offended by it then they need to get over themselves as they are the ones who are encouraging all this crap in our lives where no one can say anything to anybody for fear of "offending" someone...even Merry Christmas is scrutinized now...happy holidays my butt.
Grrrrrrrrr the "happy holidays" thing makes my hackles stand up! It's Christmas, and everyone should have a MERRY one
Agreed! I say Merry Christmas. And I send Christmas cards, not "happy holidays"...even to friends who aren't religious or are non-Christian religions...because Christmas is also a secular holiday...not just a religious one. Well adjusted people don't get offended by things like that...they take it as the expression of goodwill it was intended as.
As a jew, it's tough to be in the minority during December. While I don't get offended if someone wishes me a Merry christmas (as my students do it all the time, LOL!), there is nothing about christmas (to non-christians) that marks it as a secular holiday. it is a religious holiday -- whether christians celebrate it that way or not. I have a fun christmas day with my husband at the movies -- but we don't celebrate it as a "merry christmas"....I'm sorry "happy holidays" gets your hackles up, but sometimes it's important to remember that not everyone is christian.
I never understood this issue. It's merry Christmas, like saying good morning or have a good day.
Like if I say merry Christmas all I'm saying is have a merry Christmas as in a happy December 25th. Just like any other religion or country saying happy what ever.
Should I get offended if a Chinese coworker say happy New Years weeks after December 31/January 1st?
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eileensofianmushinfine wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »
I think if people are offended by it then they need to get over themselves as they are the ones who are encouraging all this crap in our lives where no one can say anything to anybody for fear of "offending" someone...even Merry Christmas is scrutinized now...happy holidays my butt.
Grrrrrrrrr the "happy holidays" thing makes my hackles stand up! It's Christmas, and everyone should have a MERRY one
Agreed! I say Merry Christmas. And I send Christmas cards, not "happy holidays"...even to friends who aren't religious or are non-Christian religions...because Christmas is also a secular holiday...not just a religious one. Well adjusted people don't get offended by things like that...they take it as the expression of goodwill it was intended as.
As a jew, it's tough to be in the minority during December. While I don't get offended if someone wishes me a Merry christmas (as my students do it all the time, LOL!), there is nothing about christmas (to non-christians) that marks it as a secular holiday. it is a religious holiday -- whether christians celebrate it that way or not. I have a fun christmas day with my husband at the movies -- but we don't celebrate it as a "merry christmas"....I'm sorry "happy holidays" gets your hackles up, but sometimes it's important to remember that not everyone is christian.
I never understood this issue. It's merry Christmas, like saying good morning or have a good day.
Like if I say merry Christmas all I'm saying is have a merry Christmas as in a happy December 25th. Just like any other religion or country saying happy what ever.
Should I get offended if a Chinese coworker say happy New Years weeks after December 31/January 1st?
I'm the biggest athiest you'll meet and still celebrate 'Christmas' as a time to be with family, give presents and eat food. I find the argument that it is a purely christian holiday completely at odds with the commerciality of it, and the fact that my secular government forces me to take a day off work for it!
It's kind of like the fact that I accept that it is 2015. The year is a purely christian construct, but has become so pervasive and a part of my society that to reject it because I'm not christian would actually seem illogical.0 -
I didn't mind when someone asked if I had lost weight but when a particular person would mention EVERY TIME I saw her, it did get old. Like, yes, I've lost weight I look much better than before let's move on! In the article, however, the author seems to be saying she hasn't lost weight and that people make that comment as a way of saying she looks nice, which is different than noticing someone who genuinely looks thinner and healthier. Right now I'm pregnant and any and every comment about how I look is annoying to me whether it be a compliment or the dumbass woman at target who asked if I was having twins.0
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eileensofianmushinfine wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »
I think if people are offended by it then they need to get over themselves as they are the ones who are encouraging all this crap in our lives where no one can say anything to anybody for fear of "offending" someone...even Merry Christmas is scrutinized now...happy holidays my butt.
Grrrrrrrrr the "happy holidays" thing makes my hackles stand up! It's Christmas, and everyone should have a MERRY one
Agreed! I say Merry Christmas. And I send Christmas cards, not "happy holidays"...even to friends who aren't religious or are non-Christian religions...because Christmas is also a secular holiday...not just a religious one. Well adjusted people don't get offended by things like that...they take it as the expression of goodwill it was intended as.
As a jew, it's tough to be in the minority during December. While I don't get offended if someone wishes me a Merry christmas (as my students do it all the time, LOL!), there is nothing about christmas (to non-christians) that marks it as a secular holiday. it is a religious holiday -- whether christians celebrate it that way or not. I have a fun christmas day with my husband at the movies -- but we don't celebrate it as a "merry christmas"....I'm sorry "happy holidays" gets your hackles up, but sometimes it's important to remember that not everyone is christian.
I never understood this issue. It's merry Christmas, like saying good morning or have a good day.
Like if I say merry Christmas all I'm saying is have a merry Christmas as in a happy December 25th. Just like any other religion or country saying happy what ever.
Should I get offended if a Chinese coworker say happy New Years weeks after December 31/January 1st?
As a pagan, it angers me that the Christians have hijacked our Winter Solstice celebration by calling "Christmas". We had it first, and you should all be wishing each other a happy solstice!
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I think people should just accept compliments, even if they aren't packaged to your liking. You don't have to agree with it. You don't have to read into it. You don't even have to answer the question if they ask "have you lost weight" Just - aww thanks.0
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Me thinks that if a person chooses to eat better, exercise, and do things that are good for themselves, they'd end up losing weight. QED.afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »HAES, at its simplest, is about choosing to eat better, exercise, and do things that are good for you regardless of what you weigh.0 -
Hadabetter wrote: »eileensofianmushinfine wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »
I think if people are offended by it then they need to get over themselves as they are the ones who are encouraging all this crap in our lives where no one can say anything to anybody for fear of "offending" someone...even Merry Christmas is scrutinized now...happy holidays my butt.
Grrrrrrrrr the "happy holidays" thing makes my hackles stand up! It's Christmas, and everyone should have a MERRY one
Agreed! I say Merry Christmas. And I send Christmas cards, not "happy holidays"...even to friends who aren't religious or are non-Christian religions...because Christmas is also a secular holiday...not just a religious one. Well adjusted people don't get offended by things like that...they take it as the expression of goodwill it was intended as.
As a jew, it's tough to be in the minority during December. While I don't get offended if someone wishes me a Merry christmas (as my students do it all the time, LOL!), there is nothing about christmas (to non-christians) that marks it as a secular holiday. it is a religious holiday -- whether christians celebrate it that way or not. I have a fun christmas day with my husband at the movies -- but we don't celebrate it as a "merry christmas"....I'm sorry "happy holidays" gets your hackles up, but sometimes it's important to remember that not everyone is christian.
I never understood this issue. It's merry Christmas, like saying good morning or have a good day.
Like if I say merry Christmas all I'm saying is have a merry Christmas as in a happy December 25th. Just like any other religion or country saying happy what ever.
Should I get offended if a Chinese coworker say happy New Years weeks after December 31/January 1st?
As a pagan, it angers me that the Christians have hijacked our Winter Solstice celebration by calling "Christmas". We had it first, and you should all be wishing each other a happy solstice!
No one is stoping you from saying happy solstice.
That's what I don't get, as far as I am aware no one is forced to celebrate Christmas or say merry Christmas. Your generally free to say happy what ever you like.
There is a bit of PC going on with the dates. Is it 500 bc? Or 500 bce?
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Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »This thread is going places.
Not necessarily good places, but definitely places.
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I love when people ask me this. It gives me a chance to say "Hell yeah I have! Look at my butt!"0
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I personally don't care what anyone calls the holiday, as long as they're giving me something yummy to nosh on.0
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I tend to see there's fat acceptance, which is fine, and then there is HAES, which isn't. HAES doesn't just tend to encourage you do things at any size, I've seen most of them claim the size and weight doesn't matter. If it was Healthier At Every Size, I could see it, but that's not the name - it is Healthy At Every Size, which isn't something true. You can always get healthier at a size, but there are weights that are just unhealthy, even if you're active at the level of a professional athlete - research on Sumo wrestlers and NFL linemen confirm this.afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »For those bringing up HAES and taking issue with it:
1. HAES, at its simplest, is about choosing to eat better, exercise, and do things that are good for you regardless of what you weigh.0 -
Actually, in the article, she said she prefers being called fat to overweight.PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »Ha. I just googled the writer and found her website. "WRITER | SINGER | FAT LADY" Size is unimportant, yet she identifies as a fat lady to the public. Seems a little wishy-washy.0 -
I want to know when hurting someone's feelings became such a crime. I mean who wants to tiptoe around all the elephants in the room. I can't say you're fat, or skinny, or average. I can't acknowledge race or religion, age....that's a bomb! I can't assign a sex because what ridiculous person would do that. All this to make the minority feel better. Well, if you choose to be in a minority for whatever cause, shouldn't that come with some expectation that life might be a bit rougher on you? Maybe being in the minority is not for the faint of heart. Maybe more of us should have a bit stronger backbone and not worry so much about offending people. I worked for 13 years in a career field dominated by men. You can believe I caught flak, almost daily. But I didn't go whine to my boss, I just put my head down and kept to my work, eventually my performance spoke for itself and people had to quit talking cuz there was nothing to be said. I'm not saying we all go out and be thoughtlessly rude, there is something to be said for tact, but loosen up, if someone says something mean, sulk about if you need to,cry, lick your emotional wound and then move on.0
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I read the article and I agree with the basic premise- women especially need to stop equating size with self worth. I have a person close to me with and eating disorder. I also work in a jr/sr high school and believe me, eating disorders are more common than you think. I have also known people who have lost weight due to depression. It's kind of awkward when people compliment you on weight loss that you didn't mean to lose or didn't lose in a healthy way.
As for me, I generally don't mind if people who know me well and know I've been trying to eat healthy and lose weight if I have lost- it's nice that they notice my efforts. On the other hand if it's someone I don't know well and they start asking personal questions like - so how much do you weigh now? Or how much have you lost? That's really none of their business and makes me a bit uncomfortable.0 -
I don't mind in the least if someone asks if I've lost weight. I have no issue saying what I weight or how old I am either. What's the big deal? I don't understand why people get so upset over what is very likely meant as a compliment to your hard work.0
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