anyone else get super frustrated at friends/co workers?
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bionic_woman wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »i dont get frustrated with other people, but it does make me re-evaluate what i think their intelligence level is
i have people ask how ive lost so much weight and when i tell them ' eat less, move more' they roll their eyes and go back to talking about special foods or diets or wraps. whatever. its their money and their body. not mine.
THIS (especially your first sentence). Some people are disappointed when I don't tell them it's some miracle cure of fad diet.
I find it funny, personally. It's BECAUSE it wasn't a fad diet that I managed to stick with it. I've never been willing to cut something from my diet permanently (apart from soda and alcohol, and maybe juice). Once I figured out I didn't have to, I lost 80 pounds.
I just don't understand people's logic, tbh.0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »
Sometimes the kids have serious underlying medical issues. Sometimes the parents desperately need a course in basic nutrition. Sometimes, though, they seem determined to ruin their kids' lives through...I don't even know.
My kids would rather play than eat. They will lose weight over the summer if I didn't force them to have a meal before going out. (Really, not joking.) If I let them become severely underweight, I would get into hot water.
Yeah but I have a hard time believing that the kids pediatricians haven't talked to them about their kids weight. My kids weights always come up. They just decide not to do anything about it.
Ok I'm judging again. But still giving most of them the benefit of the doubt when at least the kids are not drinking sodas or having fries and chicken nuggets.
But as I've said... my kids play on their tablets a lot and they eat a good amount of junk (their diets some days is poor to say the least), and they're both healthy, if anything, on the low weight side, so I can't even imagine what parents of obese kids feed them.
I was the fat kid. I was eating junk all day. My parents never did anything about it.
I'm trying to be as kind as possible, but it usually makes me feel a flush of white-hot rage. Just...WHY???
I have some friends who basically taught their son to comfort-eat. I'm close enough to her that I gently point out when he reaches near-obesity--because he does, about once a year--and then she wakes up, makes him play outside, and cuts down on his treats until he's at the high end of normal. (We're actually close enough that I can do that, and she's not offended. She tells me when my daughter is a horrible snot or is getting weird about stuff--my daughter has a friend who is already a disordered eater and makes diet plans and stuff even though she's a normal weight for a 6-year-old and constantly makes comment about my daughter's greater slimness and how jealous she is, so my daughter occasionally makes statements equating self worth to her skinniness--ERGH--gotta stay ahead of that!)
Anyway, she's TAUGHT him that food=comfort and food=pleasure, so he already sneaks food and all sorts of awful stuff. He wakes up early to binge, he steals food to take to his room. I saw her teaching him to view food as the source of all comfort and pleasure, so I'm not in the least surprised. If he as a toddler cried, he got food. Fussed, got food. Wanted attention, got food instead. She became a much, much better parent since then, but so much damage was done before he turned 5.
When he was little, I'd take him out places, and he'd BEG AND PLEAD to go to every fast food place we passed. We were at the Smithsonian, and all he wanted was McDonald's. It was...sickening. Like, I physically felt ill. (He had finished a big meal RIGHT before we left.) I pulled her aside finally and said, "Look, I know he does this with you, too. And from his shock when I won't stop, he gets treats every time he does it, too. He thinks the primary attraction to going ANYWHERE is what food he gets to binge on, no matter how recently he's eaten. That's probably a contribution to the fact that he's overweight, and it's going to have serious, life-long ramifications if he keeps thinking that way. He's not asking because he's hungry. I don't know if he's ever actually BEEN hungry. But you've already got a kid who's supposedly space-crazy, and he's more interested in French fries than rocket ships."
Since then, they've made some substantial changes--like not allowing him to eat freely all the time and graze all day long on chips and forbidding him from eating at other people's houses (he would go into my pantry without asking and find a box of cereal or crackers and eat the WHOLE THING in about 2 hours while playing games with my kids) but it's nowhere near enough. He keeps bouncing off the bottom of the obese range, and she doesn't even notice when his stomach is so big he can't see his feet at 11. She doesn't notice when he gets big--or when he shrinks! It's so crazy. She's blind to huge changes. I pointed out that at 11 years old, his weight was only 5lbs below my goal weight, and that shocked her (because I'm much taller than he is, and she's seen me very near that weight and knows I was anything but skeletal). He'll slim down again...for now. But I question seriously how much damage has already been done.
Both she and her husband are obese and don't see themselves that way. To them, obese is 50lbs heavier than they are. The one time in her life she was 145lbs at 5'7", she considered herself "skinny." Healthy? Yes. Skinny? Not a chance. She was just so unused to seeing herself overweight that she though that was almost too thin because she could feel and see bones she wasn't used to.
It's one thing when adults do it to themselves. It's another when they do it to their kids.0 -
Faithful_Chosen wrote: »Wanted to share this anecdote: my mom came by a while ago (we don't see each other much and that is a good thing) and she started raving instantly about me loosing weight and how I must be starving myself. I work out too much, am hurting my body, yada yada yada. I know my mother well enough to know that's her instant reaction whenever other people do somehting she wishes she had the willpower to do herself so I didn't engage. Instead, I have been sending her images of the (big and nutritious) meals I have over WhatsApp, and voila! Now all talk about food and weight loss is positive and she is even eating a little better so she can share images of her food with me as well. And her weekly gym hour (she had COPD)? She now always goes and tells me how it went because I share sweaty post-workout pictures as well. Whatever works, right?
That is wonderful!!!!0 -
Firefly0606 wrote: »The trend in my office at the moment is for all the people with "slow metabolisms" to get a gastric bypass done.
I don't want to be one of them.
LOL. And how do they think the gastric bypass fixes their metabolisms????0 -
Just the other day; At work I declined two days in a row the mars bars that were being handed around. Co-worker said that I was a boring eater. I am not just don't want to blow my calories on stuff that I think is too sweet, too calorie dense and giving me negative feelings after having eaten is. Plus I have never liked them in the first place.
On Friday I also did not come along to the icecream van that my employer offered us for working through the heatwave. I appreciate the offer, but I preferred cold fruit that was planned, and not to blow my daily intake but my co-workers thought I was being boring.
Personally I prefer to blow my calories about twice a year on a really nice dinner is a top restaurant eatign out with my husband instead of sugar laden 'treats'.0 -
charlieandcarol wrote: »MamaBirdBoss wrote: »
Sometimes the kids have serious underlying medical issues. Sometimes the parents desperately need a course in basic nutrition. Sometimes, though, they seem determined to ruin their kids' lives through...I don't even know.
My kids would rather play than eat. They will lose weight over the summer if I didn't force them to have a meal before going out. (Really, not joking.) If I let them become severely underweight, I would get into hot water.
Yeah but I have a hard time believing that the kids pediatricians haven't talked to them about their kids weight. My kids weights always come up. They just decide not to do anything about it.
Ok I'm judging again. But still giving most of them the benefit of the doubt when at least the kids are not drinking sodas or having fries and chicken nuggets.
But as I've said... my kids play on their tablets a lot and they eat a good amount of junk (their diets some days is poor to say the least), and they're both healthy, if anything, on the low weight side, so I can't even imagine what parents of obese kids feed them.
I was the fat kid. I was eating junk all day. My parents never did anything about it.
There was a documentary on the BBC about a government program trying to help obese primary school children in the UK. It was amazing in that these kids were morbidly obese, many of them twice the weight or more they should be, their eyes getting closed up from their chubby round faces, crying as they describe to the child psychologist the names they get called at school and their parents would be in a consultation with a pediatrician telling the doctor that the child was not overweight. Total denial, it was really sad. My heart broke for the kids.
There's the other side, too. There are fat kids who are bullied, but many if not most of the bullies are fat kids. One of those British shows actually came out and admitted that temper-tantrums and out-of-control kids are far more common among parents with overweight kids because they're unable to deny their children anything. Those out-of-control kids are as cruel with their classmates as they are with their siblings.
That's a different source of childhood obesity than the delusional parents.
Either way, I want to shake the parents until their teeth rattle.0 -
How about the one that says I diet all week long and have the weekend off but I'm not losing weight. And when you tell them that they are probably going over their calories for the week at the weekend they get all huffy and tell you that according to weight watchers they still have lots of points left over!!! Frustrates me...
This makes me smile x0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »The trend in my office at the moment is for all the people with "slow metabolisms" to get a gastric bypass done.
I don't want to be one of them.
LOL. And how do they think the gastric bypass fixes their metabolisms????
The saddest thing is one person in particular told everyone all about it before having it done saying she wouldn't ever be able to eat very much ever again but it was a price they were willing to pay. She looked miserable as she said it. She has lost a good 70-80 lbs after the surgery, with still more to go. And now can't eat very much, but late last week I walking into the tea room as she was tucking in to her third (small) piece of cake.0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »MamaBirdBoss wrote: »
Sometimes the kids have serious underlying medical issues. Sometimes the parents desperately need a course in basic nutrition. Sometimes, though, they seem determined to ruin their kids' lives through...I don't even know.
My kids would rather play than eat. They will lose weight over the summer if I didn't force them to have a meal before going out. (Really, not joking.) If I let them become severely underweight, I would get into hot water.
Yeah but I have a hard time believing that the kids pediatricians haven't talked to them about their kids weight. My kids weights always come up. They just decide not to do anything about it.
Ok I'm judging again. But still giving most of them the benefit of the doubt when at least the kids are not drinking sodas or having fries and chicken nuggets.
But as I've said... my kids play on their tablets a lot and they eat a good amount of junk (their diets some days is poor to say the least), and they're both healthy, if anything, on the low weight side, so I can't even imagine what parents of obese kids feed them.
I was the fat kid. I was eating junk all day. My parents never did anything about it.
I'm trying to be as kind as possible, but it usually makes me feel a flush of white-hot rage. Just...WHY???
I have some friends who basically taught their son to comfort-eat. I'm close enough to her that I gently point out when he reaches near-obesity--because he does, about once a year--and then she wakes up, makes him play outside, and cuts down on his treats until he's at the high end of normal. (We're actually close enough that I can do that, and she's not offended. She tells me when my daughter is a horrible snot or is getting weird about stuff--my daughter has a friend who is already a disordered eater and makes diet plans and stuff even though she's a normal weight for a 6-year-old and constantly makes comment about my daughter's greater slimness and how jealous she is, so my daughter occasionally makes statements equating self worth to her skinniness--ERGH--gotta stay ahead of that!)
Anyway, she's TAUGHT him that food=comfort and food=pleasure, so he already sneaks food and all sorts of awful stuff. He wakes up early to binge, he steals food to take to his room. I saw her teaching him to view food as the source of all comfort and pleasure, so I'm not in the least surprised. If he as a toddler cried, he got food. Fussed, got food. Wanted attention, got food instead. She became a much, much better parent since then, but so much damage was done before he turned 5.
When he was little, I'd take him out places, and he'd BEG AND PLEAD to go to every fast food place we passed. We were at the Smithsonian, and all he wanted was McDonald's. It was...sickening. Like, I physically felt ill. (He had finished a big meal RIGHT before we left.) I pulled her aside finally and said, "Look, I know he does this with you, too. And from his shock when I won't stop, he gets treats every time he does it, too. He thinks the primary attraction to going ANYWHERE is what food he gets to binge on, no matter how recently he's eaten. That's probably a contribution to the fact that he's overweight, and it's going to have serious, life-long ramifications if he keeps thinking that way. He's not asking because he's hungry. I don't know if he's ever actually BEEN hungry. But you've already got a kid who's supposedly space-crazy, and he's more interested in French fries than rocket ships."
Since then, they've made some substantial changes--like not allowing him to eat freely all the time and graze all day long on chips and forbidding him from eating at other people's houses (he would go into my pantry without asking and find a box of cereal or crackers and eat the WHOLE THING in about 2 hours while playing games with my kids) but it's nowhere near enough. He keeps bouncing off the bottom of the obese range, and she doesn't even notice when his stomach is so big he can't see his feet at 11. She doesn't notice when he gets big--or when he shrinks! It's so crazy. She's blind to huge changes. I pointed out that at 11 years old, his weight was only 5lbs below my goal weight, and that shocked her (because I'm much taller than he is, and she's seen me very near that weight and knows I was anything but skeletal). He'll slim down again...for now. But I question seriously how much damage has already been done.
Both she and her husband are obese and don't see themselves that way. To them, obese is 50lbs heavier than they are. The one time in her life she was 145lbs at 5'7", she considered herself "skinny." Healthy? Yes. Skinny? Not a chance. She was just so unused to seeing herself overweight that she though that was almost too thin because she could feel and see bones she wasn't used to.
It's one thing when adults do it to themselves. It's another when they do it to their kids.
Ugh. Poor kid
You know, it took me 5 years into adulthood to finally get over the 'having a snack when going out' mentality too.
My mom always let me pick everything I wanted when I went grocery shopping with her, and let me sample everything when we got home afterwards. When we went to Belgium to see my grandmother, she'd buy us each a half pound of chocolate, which I would devour in about 2 days. And we'd buy our favorite treats (lots of bread, cream filled croissants, seafood salads, salami, soda, rice pudding, kit kats, pies, eclairs, 'craquelin' bread) and we'd eat it all in 2 days too. In vacations in Brittany she'd always let us buy 'beignets' on the beach (we have pictures somewhere of us obese kids in swimsuits eaten them. Disgusting). We'd have 5 scoops of ice cream at the ice cream parlor and we'd buy our favorite treats there too (cookies and some local pies and cakes) and eat them all again in 2 days. We'd have cake for breakfast, and if we went out to the crepes restaurant I'd have 5 of them for a meal. And of course I typically had 5 or more serving of cheese after dinner (before dessert, of course).
I don't want to blame it all on my mom but sheesh, she really didn't teach me much in term of good eating habits and it's no wonder I was a fat kid. My twin sister was the same too, but my brother got lucky and got better genes I think, because he was skinny until his 30s (I do believe that genes play a role to an extent).0 -
Firefly0606 wrote: »MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »The trend in my office at the moment is for all the people with "slow metabolisms" to get a gastric bypass done.
I don't want to be one of them.
LOL. And how do they think the gastric bypass fixes their metabolisms????
The saddest thing is one person in particular told everyone all about it before having it done saying she wouldn't ever be able to eat very much ever again but it was a price they were willing to pay. She looked miserable as she said it. She has lost a good 70-80 lbs after the surgery, with still more to go. And now can't eat very much, but late last week I walking into the tea room as she was tucking in to her third (small) piece of cake.
I have a good friend who had bariatric surgery. Gained it alllll back. She's a daily grazer.
I can't even imagine... The lengths I'd go to to AVOID being cut open!0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Firefly0606 wrote: »The trend in my office at the moment is for all the people with "slow metabolisms" to get a gastric bypass done.
I don't want to be one of them.
LOL. And how do they think the gastric bypass fixes their metabolisms????
The saddest thing is one person in particular told everyone all about it before having it done saying she wouldn't ever be able to eat very much ever again but it was a price they were willing to pay. She looked miserable as she said it. She has lost a good 70-80 lbs after the surgery, with still more to go. And now can't eat very much, but late last week I walking into the tea room as she was tucking in to her third (small) piece of cake.
I have a good friend who had bariatric surgery. Gained it alllll back. She's a daily grazer.
I can't even imagine... The lengths I'd go to to AVOID being cut open!
But, but, shortcuts!
0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »MamaBirdBoss wrote: »
Sometimes the kids have serious underlying medical issues. Sometimes the parents desperately need a course in basic nutrition. Sometimes, though, they seem determined to ruin their kids' lives through...I don't even know.
My kids would rather play than eat. They will lose weight over the summer if I didn't force them to have a meal before going out. (Really, not joking.) If I let them become severely underweight, I would get into hot water.
Yeah but I have a hard time believing that the kids pediatricians haven't talked to them about their kids weight. My kids weights always come up. They just decide not to do anything about it.
Ok I'm judging again. But still giving most of them the benefit of the doubt when at least the kids are not drinking sodas or having fries and chicken nuggets.
But as I've said... my kids play on their tablets a lot and they eat a good amount of junk (their diets some days is poor to say the least), and they're both healthy, if anything, on the low weight side, so I can't even imagine what parents of obese kids feed them.
I was the fat kid. I was eating junk all day. My parents never did anything about it.
I'm trying to be as kind as possible, but it usually makes me feel a flush of white-hot rage. Just...WHY???
I have some friends who basically taught their son to comfort-eat. I'm close enough to her that I gently point out when he reaches near-obesity--because he does, about once a year--and then she wakes up, makes him play outside, and cuts down on his treats until he's at the high end of normal. (We're actually close enough that I can do that, and she's not offended. She tells me when my daughter is a horrible snot or is getting weird about stuff--my daughter has a friend who is already a disordered eater and makes diet plans and stuff even though she's a normal weight for a 6-year-old and constantly makes comment about my daughter's greater slimness and how jealous she is, so my daughter occasionally makes statements equating self worth to her skinniness--ERGH--gotta stay ahead of that!)
Anyway, she's TAUGHT him that food=comfort and food=pleasure, so he already sneaks food and all sorts of awful stuff. He wakes up early to binge, he steals food to take to his room. I saw her teaching him to view food as the source of all comfort and pleasure, so I'm not in the least surprised. If he as a toddler cried, he got food. Fussed, got food. Wanted attention, got food instead. She became a much, much better parent since then, but so much damage was done before he turned 5.
When he was little, I'd take him out places, and he'd BEG AND PLEAD to go to every fast food place we passed. We were at the Smithsonian, and all he wanted was McDonald's. It was...sickening. Like, I physically felt ill. (He had finished a big meal RIGHT before we left.) I pulled her aside finally and said, "Look, I know he does this with you, too. And from his shock when I won't stop, he gets treats every time he does it, too. He thinks the primary attraction to going ANYWHERE is what food he gets to binge on, no matter how recently he's eaten. That's probably a contribution to the fact that he's overweight, and it's going to have serious, life-long ramifications if he keeps thinking that way. He's not asking because he's hungry. I don't know if he's ever actually BEEN hungry. But you've already got a kid who's supposedly space-crazy, and he's more interested in French fries than rocket ships."
Since then, they've made some substantial changes--like not allowing him to eat freely all the time and graze all day long on chips and forbidding him from eating at other people's houses (he would go into my pantry without asking and find a box of cereal or crackers and eat the WHOLE THING in about 2 hours while playing games with my kids) but it's nowhere near enough. He keeps bouncing off the bottom of the obese range, and she doesn't even notice when his stomach is so big he can't see his feet at 11. She doesn't notice when he gets big--or when he shrinks! It's so crazy. She's blind to huge changes. I pointed out that at 11 years old, his weight was only 5lbs below my goal weight, and that shocked her (because I'm much taller than he is, and she's seen me very near that weight and knows I was anything but skeletal). He'll slim down again...for now. But I question seriously how much damage has already been done.
Both she and her husband are obese and don't see themselves that way. To them, obese is 50lbs heavier than they are. The one time in her life she was 145lbs at 5'7", she considered herself "skinny." Healthy? Yes. Skinny? Not a chance. She was just so unused to seeing herself overweight that she though that was almost too thin because she could feel and see bones she wasn't used to.
It's one thing when adults do it to themselves. It's another when they do it to their kids.
Ugh. Poor kid
You know, it took me 5 years into adulthood to finally get over the 'having a snack when going out' mentality too.
My mom always let me pick everything I wanted when I went grocery shopping with her, and let me sample everything when we got home afterwards. When we went to Belgium to see my grandmother, she'd buy us each a half pound of chocolate, which I would devour in about 2 days. And we'd buy our favorite treats (lots of bread, cream filled croissants, seafood salads, salami, soda, rice pudding, kit kats, pies, eclairs, 'craquelin' bread) and we'd eat it all in 2 days too. In vacations in Brittany she'd always let us buy 'beignets' on the beach (we have pictures somewhere of us obese kids in swimsuits eaten them. Disgusting). We'd have 5 scoops of ice cream at the ice cream parlor and we'd buy our favorite treats there too (cookies and some local pies and cakes) and eat them all again in 2 days. We'd have cake for breakfast, and if we went out to the crepes restaurant I'd have 5 of them for a meal. And of course I typically had 5 or more serving of cheese after dinner (before dessert, of course).
I don't want to blame it all on my mom but sheesh, she really didn't teach me much in term of good eating habits and it's no wonder I was a fat kid. My twin sister was the same too, but my brother got lucky and got better genes I think, because he was skinny until his 30s (I do believe that genes play a role to an extent).
Doubt it's the genes. He probably ate a bit less--or was just a naturally more active kid, or both.
My kids turn TV watching into a cardio session, for example. They constantly pace the house and are bouncy and energetic ALL THE TIME. It's so exaggerated that everyone notices.
In adults, "naturally thin" people burn 200-400 more calories per day leading the same lifestyle on paper than people who are "naturally obese" but dieted down to the same weight, and it's been shown to be from fidgeting and just getting up and walking around more often. They just move more in the same job.
He was also a boy, which does make a difference. Higher muscle mass, greater height.0 -
I know someone who is obese. Drinks loads of sugary soda and energy drinks, eats loads of starchy carbs, drinks alcohol a lot, but he's healthy apparently, and can burn 12,000 calories during a sex session according to him. Wow!!! .......yeah, no0
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anxioushero wrote: »I know someone who is obese. Drinks loads of sugary soda and energy drinks, eats loads of starchy carbs, drinks alcohol a lot, but he's healthy apparently, and can burn 12,000 calories during a sex session according to him. Wow!!! .......yeah, no
Hahaha wowww. I can't even imagine how long/furious that session would have to be to burn 12,000 calories!
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@anxioushero I don't think anyone can burn more than 18 calories moving their hand for 30 seconds.
@KisforKrista I know you must feel good when you explain exactly how you're losing weight, but from experience, most people won't go through what you're going through to really change. I personally prefer to tell people "diet and exercise", and leave it at that.
@KateTii Ew. lol0 -
These provide so much entertainment0
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I started a new job in April. My boss brings a "huge salad" every day and walks in his lunch break. He's lost 30 lbs and it inspired me to start. Now I also bring a huge salad (really it's just 2 cups of greens and some protein) and walk extra. I love that we do lunch on our own... Little drama that way.0
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I started a new job in April. My boss brings a "huge salad" every day and walks in his lunch break. He's lost 30 lbs and it inspired me to start. Now I also bring a huge salad (really it's just 2 cups of greens and some protein) and walk extra. I love that we do lunch on our own... Little drama that way.
@janiep81 That's awesome! I'm glad you felt inspired and made that change.0 -
The posts here about kids reminds me of the times recently that I've had dinner with my husband's daughter and family. The grandkids are 6 and 12, and they just naturally eat until they're not hungry and then they stop. They even leave chocolate cake and ice cream on their plates and leave the table to go play. It's really a reminder to me to listen to my body and not eat just because it is there or tastes good.1
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