Your stupidest joke
Replies
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'Silver' walks up to "Gold' and says... A U what's up?
very clever!
A lot of people don't get it... and I just don't get that!
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'Silver' walks up to "Gold' and says... A U what's up?
very clever!
A lot of people don't get it... and I just don't get that!
I assume that AU is the other name for gold....like H20 for water etc.0 -
Should I eat my exercise calories.......
BEST JOKE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now that question needs to be posted on MFP 10,000 times a day....oh wait it is!! lol0 -
Awesome topic!!! Here's mine
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella??
Fo' Drizzle
What did the kid say when the Apartment Complex fell on his head?
Get off me Homes!!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo Who?
Car go Beep Beep!!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Olive
Olive Who?
Olive you!!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow
Interrupting Co......MOOOOOOO!!!!0 -
What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift.
BaDondon!0 -
pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants, bartenders goes "hey pirate you no youve got a steering wheel in your pants?" pirate replys "Arghhhh its driving me nuts" xD0
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Did you know Beethoven is still making music? He's now de-composing!
(Groan)
ohhh this made me laugh so much xD hahahaha!0 -
Or maybe, due to infringement rights, he had to change it to ..."I'll come again"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his mistress..."I'll be back"0 -
i says to pi "be rational"
pi says to i "get real"0 -
Two scientists walk into a bar. One orders H2O and the other says, "I'll have H2O too." He takes a sip and dies.
....Ahhhh science jokes0 -
Lol0
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Do you know what the difference is between an elephant and a loaf of bread?
If you have to ask, remind me not to send you to the store the next time I need bread.
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Should I eat my exercise calories.......
:laugh:0 -
Whats Black , White and Red all over?
A skunk with chicken pox. :laugh:0 -
I love this joke to no end...but most people don't seem to have the same love for it when I tell them. Maybe because I often tell the same people this same joke multiple times.
Entering a bar, a young man comes across a very strange looking older gentleman...he has a shrunken head. "If you don't mind me asking," the young man asks as he sits down, "Whatever happened to your head"
Used to this question, the older gentleman turns and tells his story.
On a warm summer day, the weather went bad for the man and his Navy crew. The boat sunk, and the man woke up not only to see he was the only one there, but that the island was deserted. A mermaid swam up to him, "You are very lucky so I will give you three wishes."
The man thought about something he could never get enough of, "Hmmm. I want all the money I could ever want."
A giant pile of money appears, "Wish granted."
Thinking again the man wished for a giant boat to use to get off the island.
"Wish granted. You have one more wish."
Thinking hard the man suddenly smiled, "I want to have sex with you!"
"Sorry, mermaids can't have sex," she responded in which the man replied back, "Well, what about a little head?"0 -
What do you call a cow with no legs?????????
GROUND BEEF!!!!
(that one came from a popcicle stick):laugh:0 -
loved all these0
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Two atoms are walking down the street.
One atom says, "oops I think I lost an electron".
The second atom asked " Are you sure"?
The first atom replied, "I'm positive".
Another science joke!0 -
I need some new stupid jokes to tell at work so..... bump0
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*Why did the chicken cross the road?
--To prove to the opossum it can be done.
*A lady called a neighbor to extend birthday greetings in a song. After she sang “Happy Birthday,” she realized that she had dialed the wrong number.
“No need to excuse yourself,” said the voice on the other line. “You need all the practice you can get.”
*So, these two antennas were getting married.
The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!
--I tell a lot of dumb jokes and I laugh at them too. :-/ In fact, I have had Yo Momma battles with middle schoolers. Hahaha. I'm a substitute teacher, so I try to have fun with it.0 -
That one is my favorite!Two atoms are walking down the street.
One atom says, "oops I think I lost an electron".
The second atom asked " Are you sure"?
The first atom replied, "I'm positive".
Another science joke!
Here's mine:
Helium floats into a bar and orders a beer.
"Git out," says the bartender. "We don't serve noble gases here!"
Helium doesn't react.0 -
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Cause she had no arms
I know it's horrible.0 -
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.0 -
I hope I'm not repeating........
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, in a pool?
.
.
Bob
What do gay horses eat? (you have to answer this one in your best plastic southern female voice)
.
.
Haaaaaaay!!!
Can a match box?
.
.
No, but a tin can0 -
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Cause she had no arms
I know it's horrible.
Yeah, but I still laughed!
I guess that makes me :devil: .... oh well LOL0 -
I love this joke to no end...but most people don't seem to have the same love for it when I tell them. Maybe because I often tell the same people this same joke multiple times.
Entering a bar, a young man comes across a very strange looking older gentleman...he has a shrunken head. "If you don't mind me asking," the young man asks as he sits down, "Whatever happened to your head"
Used to this question, the older gentleman turns and tells his story.
On a warm summer day, the weather went bad for the man and his Navy crew. The boat sunk, and the man woke up not only to see he was the only one there, but that the island was deserted. A mermaid swam up to him, "You are very lucky so I will give you three wishes."
The man thought about something he could never get enough of, "Hmmm. I want all the money I could ever want."
A giant pile of money appears, "Wish granted."
Thinking again the man wished for a giant boat to use to get off the island.
"Wish granted. You have one more wish."
Thinking hard the man suddenly smiled, "I want to have sex with you!"
"Sorry, mermaids can't have sex," she responded in which the man replied back, "Well, what about a little head?"
LOL..... nice one0 -
I hope this hasn't been said already..
What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?
Where's my Tractor!!!
I love this one, I crack up every time my daughter says it to get me to laugh.......:D0 -
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He ate his pizza before it was cool...
New fave, sorry if it's a repost!0 -
A guy goes into a bakery in Glasgow and says "is that a doughnut, or a meringue?"
the baker says "no, youre quite right, its a doughnut"0 -
These...are...HILARIOUS...All the jokes I had are already posted..but my oh my..I am going to tell all of these jokes when I get home!0
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