Other people's reactions to your weight loss or diet
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I have lost 40 pounds since April.
I've gotten comments such as "good for you" "how did you do it?" (I told someone MFP and she said "you have to be OCD for that *kitten*")
My family is very supportive although my mother says she worries I will become anorexic. I'm 5'2, 164 pounds and eat about 1400 calories a day. My mom is definitely a worst case scenario person. She's like the mayor of WCS town.
Co-workers are a struggle. The ones I used to order pizza or Chinese or whatever with every day are very kind and supportive. The 3 other girls are snarky about it. It's very odd because if they aren't discussing work, they only talk about Zumba class and their trainer (they share the same trainer) but have not once paid me a straight forward compliment.
I get hit on a lot more (sometimes welcome, sometimes not but always surprised) and it makes me VERY uncomfortable and I wish I was a turtle and could hide in my shell. I actually got cat called the other day and it made my heart race.
What matters is I feel good inside and know I'm getting healthier. I feel lighter and have more energy. I'm in this for me and my future!
Congrats to all on your losses!44 -
louann_jude wrote: »I have had several different reactions:
The good
I had the principle at my kids school jaw drop. She was like wow you have lost weight. Then asked how I done it. I have had the you look good. You are doing awesome. I had one lady said I was and inspiration and motivator.
The bad.
My sister in law told people I was on drugs. I had one friend who was older go from complementary to creepy in like five seconds. He did that up and down long look that freaks you out. It was very uncomfortable. I haven't been back over there since.
Ugh! Your bad is total Level 4 creeper, so sorry!
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People feeling like they have to "explain themselves" when they eat crap in front of me... Heck, I eat "crap" TOO (sometimes), I just count mine!
Being told that I too need someone to feed me a sandwich. Lol
Coworkers wanting to know All the details of how I lost weight and then suggestions (that they haven't started following yet) of how they should go about doing it.
Random people that I pass in my daily life.. Bank, gym, office cafeteria, commenting on my loss....Or giving me friendly smiles that I Know are related to my loss. lol18 -
My darling family has asked if I've lost weight because of anxiety, if I've altered my clothes so they look better, and my brother just asked "where did you go?" whilst looking at my stomach.
Fortunately my mum, my friends and my coworkers are *really* supportive. Because my family isn't great at it lol. The other people are just happy because I'm happy I'm meeting my goals though, not that I'm losing weight particularly.10 -
It really annoys me, when people call me skinny! i mean WTH! I eat more than most, Fit whatever i want to eat within my macros, Have more muscles than most guys i work with, and have major curves! so for god sake don't call me skinny! I'm Pettitte, but NOT SKINNY!7
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My Dad and Stepmom have known since the beginning that I am trying to lose weight but it took me loosing 40 pounds for them to notice that I was actually going to reach my goal and say some nice things to me about how good I look now and that they are proud of how far I have come. I really appreciate that they said that & I am not upset that it took them this long to say something.
My Mother did manage to upset me because when I told her that I was having thyroid issues she said, "Oh! Really? I thought you had diabetes!" I was so flabbergasted that she said that, that I just said, "Despite my thyroid problems I have still been able to lose 40 pounds."
On a positive note; I had a work meeting recently & a coworker that I haven't seen since before summer said I look great and that I have done great with my diet & that was wonderful to hear.
I also have had to decline food when people offer it to me & despite being completely nice about it they usually ask "Why" and when I tell them that I am watching what I eat they act like I am judging them for eating.14 -
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I've had people from work who I don't even know comment on my weight loss17
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Most people have been congratulating my loss. I've been at it since January so they see it, but lately i've had two "warning" convos.
One was from a coach at my school who told me (with a side eye lol) to make sure I started to reassess my efforts when I began to get too small, as she's scared I might "waste away". The other was from a student I hadn't seen since last school year. She put her hand on her chest and said, "I don't mean to be rude and I wasn't going to say anything, but you got skinny! You ok?" with a concerned look on her face.
What makes both of these situations so comical is that I weigh 227 lbs. I'm taller, but no where in the world (at least in mine) does this equate to me being anywhere in the vicinity of skinny, lol. These reactions put just how big I was before into perspective. I do greatly appreciate their concern for me, though! Curious what the comments will be when I lose this next 28....27 -
For the most parts comments have been extremely positive.
Most want to know "the secret" and seem very disheartened when I explain calorie counting and mfp to them. One lady asked me how long I have been at it, when I replied 8 months she said that's way too long... Haha, 8 months for 25 Kg with only 3kg more to go for goal did not seem long to me at all! But people still want the quick fix...
I have noticed that as summer approaches here and I have been wearing summer dresses and shorts the comments have definitely increased as people seem to notice the loss more easily. Unfortunately this also means the unwanted comments of: "you look too thin"; "eat some cake"; etc have also increased. I usually just reply that I am happy with my weight and my health is the best it has been in years, that usually quiets down the comments.23 -
itislizard146 wrote: »One of my friends kept telling me and everyone else that I was anorexic. Which is/was not true. It made me feel awful, I'm not sure why. And then it sabotaged my progress and I wound up gaining weight back and I still can't get it out of my head.
I read your post about a friend calling you anorexic and you gained weight because of that statement. My older sister did that to me years ago.. I'm "little" sister. I had lost weight ..and now that I look back.. I most likely was looking a bit too good for her. She told me that her mother in law asked if there was something wrong with me..that i was too so thin she was worried.
Now that I'm older and wiser.. I have my sister's number. She was nothing but jealous and put that seed of doubt in my mind that people thought I looked sickly. When the problem was I looked better than her. I also gained weight because I didn't want to be talked about.
So, I write in support.. .. We all know the chart number of what weight range is safe.. we can lose to that who cares what jealous women and rude people say.. Good luck in your fitness goals.
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I always find it interesting when people react to your weight loss. Or when they offer you something to eat and you decline.
What are some of your experience with people's reactions? Have any good stories?
So, this has turned into a bit of a petpeeve for me, but I hate eating at my parents. My mom and baby bro & sis are all super happy and supportive, but my dad makes it super difficult to eat smart (strange given how attentive he is to detail when making my mom diabetic-friendly meals). He's happy that I'm losing the weight, but when I start trying to track what I'm eating he tends to get snippy and offended.
My husband's responses are both expected and unexpected. For the expected: He keeps doing the shaky-excited-squeezy hug thing to me and basically acting like an excited teenaged girl about being able to wrap his arms completely around me. On the unexpected (and kind of irritating) end, he's much more protective and jealous now. As an example, if I'm out swimming and he sees a group of idiot guys in the area, he'll either sit there like an angry sentinel or he'll bug and bug for me to go home with him (this might have been cute and a bit of an ego-booster, but it interferes with my exercise, so yeah, not cool).
I get a lot of happy and positive responses from others ("Have you lost weight?" "You're looking great!" etc), and recently I've been getting a lot of "What year of college are you?", not to mention I'm getting ID'd a lot more often again (apparently I look about 20 to some people). There are also a couple fashion retailers I frequent, and a couple of the employees have started bringing me a size smaller when they have something new they think I'll like, so that feels really good! ^_^21 -
I have got pretty positive responses. Some people at work have mentioned my weight loss, but a lot haven't and I think because they think it might be inappropriate to say anything.
My husband and family have been extremely supportive and are really proud of me. And one close friend is great and always congratulating me. But I do have another group of friends that said nothing. I talked about it and told them about it, but they just didn't respond. They completely ignore that I said anything about it and change the subject and have never commented on how I look. The one time they did respond it was the... 'Doesn't matter what I do, I can't lose weight or if I do, no matter what I do I put it back on'. Kind of making out that it must have been easy for me. Bit disheartening, but I know that it isn't my problem, and just don't mention it now.9 -
I'm going to focus on something I think is more important: how do you react to others after your weight loss.
Years ago there was a made for TV movie called "the girl most likely to". Played by Stockard Channing, the story revolved around an obese college student who admittedly was not very pretty but was trying her best to fit in. During the course of winding her way through the muck and mire of peerdom, she ended up being the brunt of a joke that was so humiliating to her that she ran out and ended up in an accident that landed her in the hospital getting extreme plastic surgery.
You can probably guess that she ended up beautiful and thin.
And then she exacted her revenge for every hurtful, painful thing anyone ever did to her.
I was 380 pounds. I am now down to 240. I wonder how many in this thread would look at me with disdain still? I hope none would. I would like to think everyone here- even the ones here to gain weight- would say "wow thats great!"
The other day, while sitting in the B&N waiting on some good herbal tea, I looked over and saw a woman eating her scone. They serve very large scones in the one near us. With a custard sauce. She was enjoying it. I would guess her weight to be around 400 or so. She was a big girl.
At first the thought crossed my mind: "doesn't she see how she looks eating that?"
Then I looked over at a very lovely, thin girl and her friends. They were laughing and looking at me. One even said:"Its okay for old ladies to be fat" (she needed to learn how to whisper). Since I was the only woman there with gray hair it was safe to assume who the object was.
It was wrong of me to see someone else the way others see me.
Changing how we see others after we lose our weight is as important as how others see us, I reckon.
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lol, I get mixed reactions those who knew me think I am getting too thin and should stop now, those who don't think I am due to have another child...I still have a long way to go yet although I have lost a lot of weight...and friends/relatives who are still struggling with their weight tend to avoid me lol8
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My family tells me to stop losing weight because im going to start looking sick im 5'7" and 135lbs i still have lots of jiggle because im not toned and i still have thick thighs. But my whole family is obese so idk of theyre jealous or just use to fat family. Or i hate when people ask how i did it then they say thats too much work.14
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I'm bmi 20 and always get comments from others if they see me eat "non diet" calorie dense food and they comment how lucky I am. It isn't lucky, it's math29
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My family is and has always been very supportive. Extended family, and others tend to have a different reactions based on the person.
Clients who only see me rarely at work will mention or ask if I've lost weight and compliment.
I'm quite a hermit and most of my socializing friends have moved away and haven't seen me. I'm not very vocal about it so when people do see me it's a bit drastic.
I do have one great-aunt (by mowaaaage, hehe)who has internal issues with her own self image so occasionally she'll she'll out faux concern asking "How much are you going to lose, skinny?!" and the occasional "Now, don't get too skinny, you don't want to go around looking like a crack head!" all very condesendingly like. She's bad mouthed a few others she's known has had cosmetic surgery, etc so I just smile and change the subject or tell her that I'm still obese and will stop when I get to a normal weight. I also had a friend from middle school turn frienemy.
I notice that sales people are friendlier, and men are more brass with the compliments and approaching me. I'd say they like what they see so far, but sometimes I worry what the reactions will be when I'm at goal.
The other day I got the nastiest look from another female who was with her partner. I know she didn't know me before the weight loss, but I know I did the get starred down very much at 260 from women, and now there seems to be a lot of cattiness. Oh well, they'll deal because the newer, fit me isn't going anywhere. I know that once the novelty wears off, things will calm down again and life will continue to go on.
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My friends and coworkers have been very supportive with two telling me I inspired them to do something themselves. My two best work buddies are quite fit and have really helped me along on this journey. Acquaintances don't know what to think, but they usually want to know what diet I'm doing. I tell them portion control and no processed foods, but they usually don't believe me.
But the person that p*ssed me off was my own mother. Four months in, my bro showed her a new pic of me (she lives 1400 miles away from me). Her comment was "She'll be fat again by the end of winter." This was last October. I'm now 44 pounds down with 10-15 to go. I wear a size 6 pant and have given her my old fat clothes (size 14).36 -
bugsypemberton wrote: »I'm going to focus on something I think is more important: how do you react to others after your weight loss.
Years ago there was a made for TV movie called "the girl most likely to". Played by Stockard Channing, the story revolved around an obese college student who admittedly was not very pretty but was trying her best to fit in. During the course of winding her way through the muck and mire of peerdom, she ended up being the brunt of a joke that was so humiliating to her that she ran out and ended up in an accident that landed her in the hospital getting extreme plastic surgery.
You can probably guess that she ended up beautiful and thin.
And then she exacted her revenge for every hurtful, painful thing anyone ever did to her.
I was 380 pounds. I am now down to 240. I wonder how many in this thread would look at me with disdain still? I hope none would. I would like to think everyone here- even the ones here to gain weight- would say "wow thats great!"
The other day, while sitting in the B&N waiting on some good herbal tea, I looked over and saw a woman eating her scone. They serve very large scones in the one near us. With a custard sauce. She was enjoying it. I would guess her weight to be around 400 or so. She was a big girl.
At first the thought crossed my mind: "doesn't she see how she looks eating that?"
Then I looked over at a very lovely, thin girl and her friends. They were laughing and looking at me. One even said:"Its okay for old ladies to be fat" (she needed to learn how to whisper). Since I was the only woman there with gray hair it was safe to assume who the object was.
It was wrong of me to see someone else the way others see me.
Changing how we see others after we lose our weight is as important as how others see us, I reckon.
i don't think it's necessarily that we look down on them for being fat. I think anything that brings us happiness and then we see someone doing something different we kinda get a sense of entitlement. we want other people to do the same things that we did to be happy. this applies to interest in general. This is especially true when we see someone doing something that is bad for us or that didn't work for us. we have to kinda just sit back and realize that we are all different and if you want something in life you have to make it happen. especially eating right. i wouldn't feel bad about having a negative though IN YOUR HEAD about someone. if you felt bed everytime you had a negative opinion about something you would go crazy!!!!!!!!! and congratulations on your HUGE weight lose11
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