Boyfriends standards of weight?

Get rid of 70kg and dump him.

Jakep2323 wrote: »

It struck me as strange. You know what you need to do - 9 pages saying the same thing can't be wrong mate

Hey look, we agree!

You need to forget the reasons not to leave him before it becomes too late to do so

I think you need therapy for thinking this is okay.

Leaz947 wrote: »

trigden1991 wrote: »

I can't help but feel this is a troll. The OP has ignored every iota of help and advice.

There are other reasons why I can't leave him too.

@Leaz947 No. There is absolutely not a single reason in this world why you "can't" leave him. You can. You're making excuses for him and making excuses not to leave. He is a piece of trash. Get out before it gets worse, because it WILL get worse. There is no stopping it or changing him. He is not worth it.

I agree with everyone else, Been there done that , but do whats best for you, you'll know when your tired/fed up

I know violence isn't justifiable....but so help me, if ANY man I was dating ever spoke to me like that, I'd f-ing deck him. Why do women (or men for that matter, it does go both ways) put up with such BS in relationships?

Hi,
I have been in this sort of relationship before myself and to be honest he is not going to change. Eventually his attitude made it virtually impossible for me to be happy, nothing made him happy. My honest advice is to leave him. If you cant bring yourself to leave him permanently then just take a two month break from seeing him. That should be enough to realize how you are allowing him to control you. You choose your own misery my friend!

I think that is a lot silly. You really aren't that heavy. I have not seen pictures, but you couldn't be more than a tad squishy, because of your height. While you probably could get down another 10kg, it's going to be hard to stay there since you would pretty much have to be "perfect". I put perfect in quotes because that goal is my goal as someone who is 6 inches shorter than you. Yes, while I can get a little bit lower than that (like maybe 8 pounds at the most), it will be a pain to maintain. Would always have to watch what I eat and spend a ton of time at the gym! Your boyfriend is a pretty light male. Unless he's pretty short, his BMI is on the low side of average. If he is so offended by his weight being so close to yours, maybe he should bulk up a bit.

Only lose weight if you want to. If he doesn't like it, then maybe he's not the supportive person you need in your life. Even when I was squishier and started to work out more and go on a diet, my boyfriend always told me that I did not need to lose any weight, because I was perfect in his eyes. He also supports my weight loss goals, but always reminds me that I don't need to lose any weight. I would hope that he would never be critical of my weight unless I am unhealthy (i.e. either going too far in weight loss or gained so much that it starts to affect my health/our relationship). And even then, I know he would be respectful about it and love me no matter what. I think he needs to work on himself. You could maybe try counseling, but it really seems like he needs to figure out why he's so mean. I had a very similar relationship with my mom (called fat, stupid, etc.) and it's not healthy. Went through depression and eating disorders and was generally miserable. She has not changed and guess what! I had to cut her out of my life. It took a long time before I recognized that it was abuse. I did not want to cut her out of my life, but now I am so much happier and living for me. So I recommend that either he shapes up, or you get out. It's hard, but it might just wind up saving you a world of hurt in the future.

edited. Because no matter what I say, the one thing working in psych taught me is the abused will stay with the abuser until they are ready to get out no matter what anyone says.

Flat out. The guy is verbally abusive. It's the same thing as him punching you in the face every time he looks at you. He is an abuser. He is eating away at you until you won't be able to live without him. Right now you sound like you are well on the way. See a therapist. And good luck.

I agree with "Dump him". Seriously. And maybe seek some counseling for thinking this behavior is acceptable.

My husband and I are the same height. There have been many times in our 15 year relationship where I outweighed him (especially while pregnant), or was only a few pounds lighter. He's fine with it and has never ever called me "fat" or said anything negative about my body.

Your BMI is fine. You're 146 pounds at 5'8"? That's 6 pounds over the traditional "5 pounds per inch over 5 feet" rule. His so-called "goal" for you puts you either just half a pound above "underweight" BMI or even *into* underweight, depending on which starting point I used in the calculator.

You deserve better. This is not about some amorphous idea about your "health" and "wanting you to be healthier" like some people will say when they tell family to lose weight. This is about him being a vain, unrealistic douche.

And honey? As a woman who clearly has a stack of years on you? Men like him never get better or nicer with age. The boyfriend you saw when you met him and first started dating him is almost certainly the nicest, most humane, friendliest verison of him you will ever see. You cannot change him, you can only decide if you want to live with someone who wants you to starve yourself to an underweight BMI for him.