Done with it!

I want to know where these well muscled young men are, I deserve a birthday treat.............

MelanieCN77 wrote: »

I actually agree in the sense that people should think about their tone - just because a veteran user of the forums has heard xyz a hundred times before doesn't give them the right to talk to people like they are idiots. I like to eat fresh prepared food from fresh ingredients and I think it's healthier for me to snack on an apple instead of cheetos but that opinion just gets scorned and patronized. It's so reductionist it's almost comical. I'd like to see newcomers with questions about cleanses or sugar or whatever treated gently and with respect, not this sneering three word answer rudeness that comes so often now.

Examples of this?

(Sneering three word answer)

The problem here is cherry picking of information. When it comes to low carb, paleo, "clean" eating, etc. I usually see the following statement written on these forums "There's no reason to go with x diet unless you have a medical reason for doing so." There is emphasis on that because the world around us tries to make money off of people by saying weight loss is everything but CICO. Do I even need to mention the rise of apple cider vinegar's popularity on these forums lately for the false beliefs of what it can and cannot do?

People think they have to give up every food they love, make drastic changes, or suffer in some way just to achieve weight loss and they don't. This is why so many people fail to lose weight, crash diet and regain it, or gain weight despite eating "healthy". So usually a message of excitement is passed on here, such as "Yes you actually can eat that cake and pizza and still lose weight. Isn't that awesome?" If people want to achieve that calorie deficit by being low carb, paleo, vegetarian, vegan, etc. then that is their choice. However, it's hoped that they are actually doing that by choice and not because they think it's going to make them lose more weight without a calorie deficit. For many uninformed people, thanks to society, weight loss is just a dream. A highly unlikely, unattainable achievement which requires immense sacrifice. Most people here have been through that battle with weight loss and they just want everyone to know the real "secret" to weight loss. In the end, that is CICO.

OP - I've noticed that we here rarely just answer a question. If you ask how to sew on a button, we'll tell you that zippers are better, hook&loop more fun, snaps scientifically proven to improve your closure experience.

There are sometimes good reasons for this (eg. the person who asks how to eat a vlc diet) but I think it usually comes down to people wanting to share their personal experiences and wanting to hear ourselves talk. (If anyone corrects me for using the words hear and talk in a text forum I am going to lose my *kitten*. See? We've all been bitten by these boards.). It's not usually malicious but you have to sift through to get the information you're looking for.

I think this is a great forum. I'm sorry OP feels this way. I know I probably ask questions that have been asked 100 times. And I expect to some extent to get some irritable person that feels annoyed by it and ' points out the obvious' or put their own penny's worth in about certain ways and means of doing things. Does this bother me? NO in short. For every one or two people that seem annoyed or unsupportive of what I might talk about or ask or just plain annoyed at what seems like a stupid question I'll also get a handful of comments that are helpful and supportive.
The thing with these types of forums are you have people with varying levels of knowledge regarding the topic of conversation. The elite that everything and more and the newbies like me that have decided to start educating myself about weight loss and healthy eating. That's a huge spectrum and it is bound to lead to some difference of opinion etc. But you know what? I don't care I just ignore those who know so much it goes over my head. It's not that hard to do.
I also find that this site does not support unsustainable food changes. I read a lot on here about people trying to survive on 600 calories, even 1200 calories and I'm glad that people are quick to point out that people are doing something unhealthy and sometimes mods even close the thread. This reassures me that MFP is coming from a good, healthy place. Rock on MFP

Izzy62 wrote: »

Not my food choices, I'm happy with what I am doing, I'm done with reading these forums.

I'm done with reading comments from super well muscled young men (looking at the picture - may or may not be you) telling me, a 55 year old, overweight, intelligent, pre-diabetic woman that it is all CICO.
Every post which mentions an alternative diet choice is promptly and efficiently, put down with a comment such as "why cut it out?" "It's all a matter of CICO" .

Choosing an eating plan is sometimes way more than a choice to cut out certain things, it may be the thing that saves people's lives, makes them feel better (physically or psychologically), or may be advice from someone medically trained.

There is nothing "wrong" with trying a low carb diet, it may or may not be right for you. Try low fat, try just eating less of everything. Just try until you find what works for you.

Ultimately, yes it boils down to CICO, but they way people get to that is their own business and they are here because they are looking for advice on the choice they have made. It is not inherently unhealthy to eat paleo, nor low carb, nor low fat, it is definitely unhealthy to remain overweight.

Just give people a bit of a break and try encouraging their decision to help themselves by losing the weight, not always putting down the way they choose to do it.

Very well said Izzy! people need to do what works for them and not even think about mentioning it on here lol what works for some won't work for others and on here suggesting anything that people think might help others will get shot down by "know it all's" that's why I just stick to my diary lol good luck on your weight loss journey!

I stopped searching for people that are trying to work on themselves the same way i'm having to.... simply because the sheer level of hostility that surrounded it absolutely stunned me... There's a lot of holier-than-thou people on here ....yes ... some methods might not be sustainable beyond a couple of years or so but some people don't realise or care to think that it might be the ONLY realistic choice.... people need to walk a mile in some other peoples shoes and just accept more.

I totally agree with what you're saying and will recount something I encountered just this week.
A discussion thread was posted by a person who felt they were a sugar addict. I made a comment with just a few sentences about perhaps starting out easy by removing common complex carbs, eating more above ground than low ground veggies and for fruit perhaps berries or rockmelon. Not once did I mention that I myself follow a LCHF way of eating. My view is that people will either take something from the comments or not.. it is their choice.
Well.... ping goes my inbox.
A member PM'd me about my comment and saying 'clueless about loosing weight, huh', my response was that perhaps their opinion should be posted on the thread rather than being sent as a PM. That resulted in name calling.
Couple of things about this,
a) If I were just starting out this type of behaviour would likely have been enough to scare me off... however I've lost 83lbs with only 7lb to go... think I know after nearly 3 years what works for me
b) what gives anyone the right to go on a personal attack because they hold a contrary view?
We're mostly all here for the same reason... to lose weight, get healthy, share ideas and opinions and look for support.

As usual, nothing but strawmen when these topics come up from the aggrieved.

Still waiting for my well muscled young men. Heck, man singular would be sufficient. Bring me pizza and cocktails.

PS. Thanks for the birthday wishes!

There's a bit of truth on both sides. I think the forums are great and there's alot to be learned. If you ask the whole world a question, it's obvious that the responses will be varied, and not all to your liking. I have seen these "mean, know-it-all veterans" spend alot of time trying to help somebody that needs it. You posters that want a "gentle" approach aren't helping people very often. Why don't you post alittle more and turn the tide instead of just complaining until the thread gets shut down? I would really like to hear your advice. Waiting patiently......

I don't consider myself "super well muscled" but I am a (relatively) young man.

Its all a matter of CICO.....................

@Izzy62

Hey OP
I get it.
Me too.
trigdon1991 you exemplify the problem

Bye