We broke up because...
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he kept setting the smoke detector off while cooking. How many fires must one put out?0
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Wears my underwear on his head0
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Now he's rubbing it in my face0
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I smacked her butt one too many times.0
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He never let me have shoes I love shoes0
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Crazy ^0
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He/she is team Fallon and I am team Kimmel...1
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He was obsessed with the ballet, and I'm just not into it...0
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Because we never went out to a dinner and dance0
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She hated when I sang her love songs0
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Would never btw
We broke up because his first born was older then me! Lol0 -
she said I was the only one she ever baked for
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He never understood he was the only one I got baked with!0
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Never expected my friend request0
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She was always hanging out at the pub across the street from the coffee shop0
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she kept flashing the pastor0
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he sold his racecar0
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She would never let me put it in overdrive1
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he asked me to style my beard after him.0
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I ofter spoke in the form of soliloquies...0
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He often spoke to me in languages I didn't understand, like Pig Latin0
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she took photos of us together, and cropped me up posting them as selfies
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hesay evernay istenedlay otay emay1
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He observed "Opposite Day" every Wednesday.0
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she put too much starch the laundry0
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