Ask a mortician
Replies
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »...I've taken care of elderly people from my church, but no family or friends yet...
I appreciate the way you phrased that. It's very sensitive and respectful towards the deceased. You seem like a nice person.
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nolan44219 wrote: »have you ever had to get someone ready for burial and thought "damn this ole boy should have been an organ donor?"
I often mumble to myself the opposite actually. Organ donors are a lot of extra work. You have to worry about them leaking so we put them in a plastic coveralls. I think it's a very noble gift. I wouldn't choose if for myself or my family because I wouldn't want to see them picked apart in the behind the scenes stuff.
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- When you say goodbye to somebody in public and shake their hand do you say "I'll be seeing you"?
If so, what is their reaction? (Haha do you think your job has an impact on how people "see" you? - Umm well this ones, awkward but since we have you here, the rear side leakage, how often does that happen?
- Any weird, or out of the norm style funerals, bizarre requests?
- Has there been a really difficult job, like a bad autopsy, or someone that passed away in a not-so-pleasant way, that needed a lot of work?
- Some job that you couldn't handle?
Okay this post is too addictive gotta stop myself now.1 - When you say goodbye to somebody in public and shake their hand do you say "I'll be seeing you"?
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jessiferrrb wrote: »One possibility is to be cremated and your ashes used to grow a tree.
that's what i want. i want to be a tree when i grow dead.
before they had that my plan was to have my friends steal my body and bury me somewhere shallow and foresty without a coffin, so the bugs and worms and rot and animals could get to me. natural decay and all that.
That's actually a thing, and your friends don't have to steal you. It's called "green burial." Google it. It actually sounds pretty appealing to me, too.1 -
"....that's what i want. i want to be a tree when i grow dead."
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...... I would settle for poison oak or jumping cholla
why not continue being a pain in the *kitten* even after death?5 -
subcounter wrote: »
- When you say goodbye to somebody in public and shake their hand do you say "I'll be seeing you"?
If so, what is their reaction? (Haha do you think your job has an impact on how people "see" you? - Umm well this ones, awkward but since we have you here, the rear side leakage, how often does that happen?
- Any weird, or out of the norm style funerals, bizarre requests?
- Has there been a really difficult job, like a bad autopsy, or someone that passed away in a not-so-pleasant way, that needed a lot of work?
- Some job that you couldn't handle?
Okay this post is too addictive gotta stop myself now.
Nah, I try to stay away from the cheesy jokes.Leakage The isn't a regular thing, but its common for the bowels to relax at the time of death. Poop happens, I'm used to it.
The most awkward service I was ever apart of was a memorial service for a man in his 70s who was a d*ckhead for a husband.He and his wife had been married for 50 years or so and you could tell the poor woman was relieved he was finally dead. The preacher did the typical sugar coating crap and spoke about what a great father and husband he was. As soon as the service was over the wife ran out of the chapel yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!" It was priceless.
I've had a few suicides that were challenging to fix. Gunshot wounds can be easy or hard, it depends on the caliber. There is no way to salvage a shot gun wound.
If I was a mom, I couldn't take care of my own child. I plan on taking care of my grandparents and parents when the time comes. It will be hard, but I believe I can do it.6 - When you say goodbye to somebody in public and shake their hand do you say "I'll be seeing you"?
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Seeing it all the time, are you now numb to death even it were to happen to someone close to you? And if it was a family member, could you do the service yourself or pass it over?
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Seeing it all the time, are you now numb to death even it were to happen to someone close to you? And if it was a family member, could you do the service yourself or pass it over?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
No, I'm not numb to it at all. Actually, it hits me like a ton of bricks when I lose someone I love because I'm used to seeing it happen to everyone else. It will be extremely hard, but I want to take care of my family when the time comes. If I was a plumber I wouldn't call someone else to fix a busted pipe, I'd take care of it myself.3 -
I started a reading a book called "Stiff: the curious lives of human cadavers" a while back by Mary Roach that deals with alot of what you have been sharing, but also goes into organ donation, donation to science and such. I have read through this whole thread and am impressed with your tactfulness and your thoughtful answers. I also think you should write that book...or at least start keeping notes so that you can write it later (you'd be amazed at what you can forget--even things you never thought you'd forget--over time).
And I just want to add--in the most un-creepy manner--I hope you realize how adorable you are!
Mary Roach books are so good, I went to one of her talks recently. They make you think about so many things that never even cross your consciousness. I’ve just finished Grunt, which is about the military and science. They use a lot of cadavers in military vehicle testing, blow them up and watch what happens to the mechanism of the explosion to the bodies. Then autopsy them to see where the vehicles need more work to protect people.
I’m not sure I could donate my body like that. I’m painfully pro organ donation as I’ve mentioned but I’ve known enough medical students to not feel comfortable donating the whole thing!
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »So the weight of the dirt doesn't cave in the casket and I stay dry.
On the whole vault thing, how does the body decompose in a vault? Is there a cement floor with holes, or no floor at all in a vault, or ...? I'm curious.
Thank you in advance.0 -
briansolomon7863 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »So the weight of the dirt doesn't cave in the casket and I stay dry.
On the whole vault thing, how does the body decompose in a vault? Is there a cement floor with holes, or no floor at all in a vault, or ...? I'm curious.
Thank you in advance.
The body will decompose in the casket eventually. There are three different types of vaults to choose from: concrete, steel, and plastic. The steel and plastic ones have a dome shaped top and flat bottom like a butter dish. The concrete vaults are a standard box shape with the lid on top. None of them have holes.0 -
People ask if I train my DW. Nope. Her idea and my idea of working out differ and I don't want any drama at home. I'll give her advice if she asks, or maybe show her how to do an exercise correctly, but I wouldn't train her.LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Seeing it all the time, are you now numb to death even it were to happen to someone close to you? And if it was a family member, could you do the service yourself or pass it over?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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No, I'm not numb to it at all. Actually, it hits me like a ton of bricks when I lose someone I love because I'm used to seeing it happen to everyone else. It will be extremely hard, but I want to take care of my family when the time comes. If I was a plumber I wouldn't call someone else to fix a busted pipe, I'd take care of it myself.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Is the masoleum business for casket strong?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Hands down, this is THE most fascinating thread I have ever read. I used to watch "Family Plots" when it ran on A&E years ago. At the time I was working in our local vital records office (in a small southern town) and became good friends with the local funeral directors. After a while I became comfortable enough to ask them random questions, one of which was "do you put underwear on the deceased?" It happened that the funeral director who came that day was a good humored country guy with a knack for telling a good story. Instead of a simple yes or no, he launches into the following: "Well, I'll put it like this. Imagine we have your granny in the back of the hearse and we're riding down Main Street. A truck runs through the intersection, hits the hearse and granny's casket goes flying out the back, leaving her in the middle of the road. Wouldn't you want her to have her drawers on?"
Thank you for taking the time to answer all the questions and for being so open and up-front. I would love to read your book!2 -
can you professionally attend to your own family?
I should do this with my own profession but no one has questions for a gigolo.2 -
For someone like me who doesn't want to be cremated or embalmed and doesn't want be viewed and cried over and all that stuff, but just go straight into the ground, will morticians still bathe and dress and prep you for that? And can you get one of those awesome wicker caskets or some kind of a cool shroud and just stick it straight into the dirt, or do you need a vault? Thanks!
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If you find a cemetery you like that doesn't require vaults then it can definitely be doneFor someone like me who doesn't want to be cremated or embalmed and doesn't want be viewed and cried over and all that stuff, but just go straight into the ground, will morticians still bathe and dress and prep you for that? And can you get one of those awesome wicker caskets or some kind of a cool shroud and just stick it straight into the dirt, or do you need a vault? Thanks! 1 -
The price of mausoleums vary by area. At Woodlawn in Nashville they cost around $5,000 per crypt.Is the masoleum business for casket strong?
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutritionMrStabbems wrote: »can you professionally attend to your own family?
I should do this with my own profession but no one has questions for a gigolo.
There are no laws that dictate who we are allowed to take care of. It would be silly if there was a law against it. They're already dead, what's the worse that could happen?1 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »It makes things much easier on the family when they know exactly what their loved one's wishes were.
When my daddy died, he had made his wishes so well known that within 12 hours of his death, there were 7 people who showed up at the (prepaid) funeral home with Folger's coffee cans. And one person with a Maxwell House can, because Food Lion was all out of Folger's. Daddy would have died laughing!! (See what I did there!)
The memorial service was lovely, and the funeral home didn't blink at the coffee can - once I could show that it was actually in his instructions. They're truly special people who are called to this profession.
BTW, FTD sells an urn arrangement that looks great with a coffee can.
https://www.ftd.com/sympathy-funeral-pcg/the-ftd-tears-of-comfort-arrangement/occasion-sympathy/s17-4473/?fromGF=11 -
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Motorsheen wrote: »"....that's what i want. i want to be a tree when i grow dead."
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...... I would settle for poison oak or jumping cholla
why not continue being a pain in the *kitten* even after death?
I kind of am picturing kudzu for you...
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Motorsheen wrote: »"....that's what i want. i want to be a tree when i grow dead."
==========================
...... I would settle for poison oak or jumping cholla
why not continue being a pain in the *kitten* even after death?
I kind of am picturing kudzu for you...
yeah.... kudzu
hated and invasive
I'll take it!2 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »kellylynnshonting wrote: »As a former animal euthanasia technician, I don't know why I haven't thought to ask, but
1.) Have you ever been asked to do a funeral for an animal? If not, would you?
2.) To go with #1 - could you embalm an animal or would you even be able too?
3.) If so, would it be the same as humans? If not, could you elaborate?
4.) Has anyone ever come in to where you work and asked about the previous two questions (#1 and #2)?
5.) Have you ever buried a pet (already deceased) with their owner...considering that the animal is cremated? If not, would you and can you (as in would you be allowed)?
6.) What are your thoughts on animals and the afterlife?
7.) How, if in any way, does or doesn't it play into your personal beliefs?
Have I mentioned how fascinating this thread is?
I've never embalmed an animal. If I could find the carotid artery and the jugular vein, I could do it. No one has ever asked me to, but if they did I would say no. We bury people with their pets ashes all the time. You can put anything you want in the casket with them. In the Bible it mentions animals being in heaven so I believe we'll see our fur children again one day☺
When I was working on my undergrad I used to prepare animals for taxidermy for the Bio department. I don't think it is legal to perform taxidermy on a human, but I did a fair number of animals--including a friend's pet hamster that she was too attached to to bury. Most of the animals I worked on were wild though, not domestic. I'm not sure I would like to have to work on my own pet...1 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Seeing it all the time, are you now numb to death even it were to happen to someone close to you? And if it was a family member, could you do the service yourself or pass it over?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
No, I'm not numb to it at all. Actually, it hits me like a ton of bricks when I lose someone I love because I'm used to seeing it happen to everyone else. It will be extremely hard, but I want to take care of my family when the time comes. If I was a plumber I wouldn't call someone else to fix a busted pipe, I'd take care of it myself.
So I'm gonna ask - how do you reconcile this with your earlier statement about who wants to see their grandmother naked and handle the preparation of their own family? Is the difference that you're already skilled in the task and would therefore be mentally able to handle it?1 -
LittleHearseDriver wrote: »Seeing it all the time, are you now numb to death even it were to happen to someone close to you? And if it was a family member, could you do the service yourself or pass it over?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
No, I'm not numb to it at all. Actually, it hits me like a ton of bricks when I lose someone I love because I'm used to seeing it happen to everyone else. It will be extremely hard, but I want to take care of my family when the time comes. If I was a plumber I wouldn't call someone else to fix a busted pipe, I'd take care of it myself.
So I'm gonna ask - how do you reconcile this with your earlier statement about who wants to see their grandmother naked and handle the preparation of their own family? Is the difference that you're already skilled in the task and would therefore be mentally able to handle it?
I'm used to it, I've seen so many people naked it wouldn't phase me. It would bother me to see a family member who has been autopsied. It would be very hard, but I would regret not taking care of them myself.2 -
^lol I hate even treating family & friends!0
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That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?0 -
That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?
I've never had a family ask me to wear something specifically, but I have worn the deceased's favorite color for a funeral.3 -
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LittleHearseDriver wrote: »That was a very interesting read. I've never been to an open casket funeral, I think they're less common in the UK.
If somebody requests a colourful funeral, do the funeral staff join in or do you always wear black? Or am I making an assumption that you even wear black as standard?
I've never had a family ask me to wear something specifically, but I have worn the deceased's favorite color for a funeral.
How nice of you.
My dear nephew passed away last June at age 51, only two months after being diagnosed with brain cancer.
I was surprised to see him in the casket with baseball cap on! He was very involved with his son's baseball and it looked quite natural.
I never heard of a colorful funeral but this reminded me that things have changed.
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https://youtu.be/KeMHEKHCFG0
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