I hate when people scrutize my food
Replies
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lemurcat12 wrote: »ruqayyahsmum wrote: »DJ_Skywalker wrote: »I can't assume whether someone is eating 500-3000 calories a day just by 2 oz of tuna or a leaf of lettuce. Who knows what they had for breakfast or will have at home. We are so busy at work, so many of us hardly have time to eat during the day apart from snacking here and there.
Yeah but again... OP said she was hungry! Then she ate almost nothing.
Context, people.
I had a woman argue with me in a cafe after i ate half a slice of toast and a bit of scrambled egg in a cafe
She kept on about ordering stuff and not eating. I told her repeatedly i had been hungry when i ordered but was now full. I explained i had a gastric bypass etc
In the end i had to explain how sometimes foods stick and restriction means i cannot eat more
Her throw away comment was next time order a kids meal ( her colleague refused that as im over 12 years old)
All this was said with everyone listening.
Even with context its still not ok to badger another person about thier choices
I remain skeptical that badgering actually occurred vs. someone being nice and asking if she wanted to get food.
Asking once may be nice, repeatedly asking, especially in front of a group in the workplace is always inappropriate.1 -
stephanieluvspb wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
How big was the bowl? lol. Unless it was HUGE I'd probably had said something to her too...like why just lettuce? and how? I'd be so bored. Bland. bleh. lol
Why would you comment about someone's "salad"?
You'd say, "bleh" ? You sound great. Lol
Lettuce isn't a salad.....its just lettuce. And, you just commented on the "young, thin" assistant.
With that in mind at least they said it out loud. If you're thinking it in your head that's worse. At least say something to my face. What's so bad that you're keeping it in? IJS. It's just lunch. It isn't that darn serious.0 -
Invading someone's privacy by questioning their food choices in public is not okay. But if I had a coworker who weighed 200 pounds and opted for 2 oz of tuna for lunch, I would have assumed that they are dangerously starving themselves in order to lose weight. I would have just asked in private.
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kshama2001 wrote: »ruqayyahsmum wrote: »DJ_Skywalker wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »So I had 2 oz of tuna for lunch today...with another 350 calories of other stuff to round it out.
Hope it was a plate of bacon
Tuna with bacon?
Ill take the bacon hold the tuna please
Fresh tuna wrapped in bacon and grilled is yummy!
That sounds nice, i was picturing the canned flaked tuna we get here in the uk1 -
Is this post really under General Diet and Weight Loss Help? Do you need help with your diet of tuna? I am not understanding obviously..1
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If I saw someone eating a 2oz can of tuna, I'd assume they stole it from a cat so I'd be more worried about the cat.10
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gabriellejayde wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
How big was the bowl? lol. Unless it was HUGE I'd probably had said something to her too...like why just lettuce? and how? I'd be so bored. Bland. bleh. lol
Why would you comment about someone's "salad"?
You'd say, "bleh" ? You sound great. Lol
agreed. WTF? why do you feel the need to comment on anyone's food? especially in the work place.1 -
I tend to find polite ways of throwing insults back. My daughter who was only 11 or 12 at the time told me her dad's new girlfriend called her fat. Yes, fat. Of course, the mom in me wanted to just go ahead and handle it but I didn't. So... I told my daughter here's what you do. The next time all of you sit down to eat, look at her and say "Are you going to eat all of that? You've put on some weight lately."
She did as I instructed. His girlfriend got pissed and stormed away from table. Never did she call my child fat again. Needless to say, my daughter is much like me today.7 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »ruqayyahsmum wrote: »DJ_Skywalker wrote: »I can't assume whether someone is eating 500-3000 calories a day just by 2 oz of tuna or a leaf of lettuce. Who knows what they had for breakfast or will have at home. We are so busy at work, so many of us hardly have time to eat during the day apart from snacking here and there.
Yeah but again... OP said she was hungry! Then she ate almost nothing.
Context, people.
I had a woman argue with me in a cafe after i ate half a slice of toast and a bit of scrambled egg in a cafe
She kept on about ordering stuff and not eating. I told her repeatedly i had been hungry when i ordered but was now full. I explained i had a gastric bypass etc
In the end i had to explain how sometimes foods stick and restriction means i cannot eat more
Her throw away comment was next time order a kids meal ( her colleague refused that as im over 12 years old)
All this was said with everyone listening.
Even with context its still not ok to badger another person about thier choices
I remain skeptical that badgering actually occurred vs. someone being nice and asking if she wanted to get food.
Asking once may be nice, repeatedly asking, especially in front of a group in the workplace is always inappropriate.
Yeah, I agree (and I think I said so way upthread). But this goes back to us only having one side of the story and OP seeming to be bothered by any comment (and no one saying anything about the salad woman). So did an innocuous, well-meaning comment get blown up in OP's mind as her being badgered and called out?2 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »ruqayyahsmum wrote: »DJ_Skywalker wrote: »I can't assume whether someone is eating 500-3000 calories a day just by 2 oz of tuna or a leaf of lettuce. Who knows what they had for breakfast or will have at home. We are so busy at work, so many of us hardly have time to eat during the day apart from snacking here and there.
Yeah but again... OP said she was hungry! Then she ate almost nothing.
Context, people.
I had a woman argue with me in a cafe after i ate half a slice of toast and a bit of scrambled egg in a cafe
She kept on about ordering stuff and not eating. I told her repeatedly i had been hungry when i ordered but was now full. I explained i had a gastric bypass etc
In the end i had to explain how sometimes foods stick and restriction means i cannot eat more
Her throw away comment was next time order a kids meal ( her colleague refused that as im over 12 years old)
All this was said with everyone listening.
Even with context its still not ok to badger another person about thier choices
I remain skeptical that badgering actually occurred vs. someone being nice and asking if she wanted to get food.
Asking once may be nice, repeatedly asking, especially in front of a group in the workplace is always inappropriate.
Yeah, I agree (and I think I said so way upthread). But this goes back to us only having one side of the story and OP seeming to be bothered by any comment (and no one saying anything about the salad woman). So did an innocuous, well-meaning comment get blown up in OP's mind as her being badgered and called out?
True, we only have one side of the story. We can choose whether to believe it or think it a lie.0 -
acorsaut89 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
Did she talk about being hungry right before that? You appear to have taken this extremely personally. As I said, it sounds like she should have let it go, but you seem really defensive about this. And what does your weight have to do with it?
I didn't take anything personally at all. That's an odd thing to surmise. I mentioned my weight because I'm clearly not anorexic.
Whether it's a small amount of food or a huge amount, it was rude to bring up and NOT drop. This wasn't a friend of mine.
Anorexia is not the only kind of eating disorder out there, and you don't have to be thin to have one. While Anorexia and Bulima (the binge/purge) are the most commonly talked about it is very possible, at any size, to have a disordered relationship with eating. I got to my biggest - and stayed there - legitimately because of the role food played in my life. If I was happy, I got something to celebrate. I graduated? Let's go out for dinner! Got a new job? Dinner!! Had a bad day? Pick up pizza on the way home and drown my sorrows in some pizza and Grey's. It was VERY unhealthy for me.
My biggest changes - for myself - came from the ability to see food as just fuel for the body, not a reward or something to soothe me. It's just fuel and my body needs it so find the premium fuel and put it in. It does sound, from your profile, like you have a disordered relationship with food when you state you go from not giving a *kitten* to counting every single crumb and trying to "lose it as fast as possible".
*claps excessively*0 -
DJ_Skywalker wrote: »I can't assume whether someone is eating 500-3000 calories a day just by 2 oz of tuna or a leaf of lettuce. Who knows what they had for breakfast or will have at home. We are so busy at work, so many of us hardly have time to eat during the day apart from snacking here and there.
That's true but a lot of people here saw her diary so our perception is a bit skewed now1 -
moonstroller wrote: »DJ_Skywalker wrote: »moonstroller wrote: »I never comment on what, or how much, people eat, that's their choices and has no impact on my life. What I would find offensive is the smell of the tuna. Something about seafood makes my nauseated to the point I have to leave the room. Which sucks because where I work there are almost daily late afternoon spreads and they always have shrimp...
gabriellejayde, I agree with you, it was rude of that person to constantly bring to everybody's attention what you were having for lunch.
We wouldn't work well together ... I eat tuna out of the can often ... with sriracha, of course
I worked at an investment bank in NYC years ago and there was one guy who would bring in the stinkiest Asian food. I explained to him my sensitivity to odors, so the next night he made the concerted effort to sit right next to me while he ate, all the while commenting on how great his dinner tasted. Since I was working on an important document with a tight deadline I was unable to relocate. After asking him repeatedly to please move, and him replying that he was trying to help my better understand and appreciate the finer attributes of oriental cuisine, I threw up on him, thus ending the conversation, as well as his dinner, instantly.
Yeah, we probably wouldn't be able to work together while you ate.
One of the best comments I've read on here in a while lol0 -
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gabriellejayde wrote: »Steph38878 wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Steph38878 wrote: »I've read through the comments. Respectfully, OP it seems like you are very defensive, even after mentioning you don't care what people think. Even when people mention an eating disorder by looking through you diary, you get very defensive.
I agree it was very rude of the lady in the meeting. Totally agree. I'm the type of person that would have politely told her to mind her business right there in the meeting. But if you do have an eating disorder, it's better to seek help than denying it.
Good luck.
Defensive seems a natural reaction given the thread title and subject.
Assuming an eating disorder with no information other than that offered in this thread seems a very unnatural reaction. At least it would outside MFP.
I agree in a way. But it wasn't just the information in the thread. If she's logging correctly, she isn't even eating 700 calories a day. That's where the eating disorder question came from. It seems logical. Not judging by any means. It's a valid concern. Her intake is very low, given 200 pounds isn't morbidly obese.
Edit: I do agree that outside of mfp and not knowing her eating habits, it was very rude and disrespectful to point it out in a meeting.
I appreciate the concern from people here, since you can see my diary (unlike my coworker), and this is the appropriate place to comment.
I don't have an eating disorder. I had surgery a month ago on my esophagus.
Just saw my doc yesterday and I'm doing great.
This is much better reason but still most people will be concerned. I would prefer they say something the wrong way trying to be helpful than just not care. I hope you heal up1 -
fitoverfortymom wrote: »My husband used to have a coworker who would come over to his desk, open his drawer, and inspect the contents of his lunch and comment on how healthy it was.
:huh: People need a good dose of MYOB! I blame social media. Unless I'm posting my lunch on Instattentionseeker, I'm not inviting comments. Grr. And get off my lawn while you're at it!
Ok that's ridiculous even for me who thinks comments aren't bad wth going through someone's stuff?0 -
rianneonamission wrote: »thielke2015 wrote: »Do you know what. To be quite frank I would have said something too. That is nowhere near enough period.
Nonsense. It's perfectly enough if it suits that person. Perhaps she eats 10 lots of 100-200 cals throughout the day. You don't know so can't comment whether or not it is enough.
Actually 2oz of canned tuna is like 65 calories so even ten servings isn't enough for a normal person lol her surgery is dif but still0 -
We talk about all da foodz here and look how we fight. It's carrying over into the real world. Or right, maybe it started there first.
Edited to add: I hate lettuce so much.
I will never understand iceburg lettuce. Why is this the norm as a salad base?! There is no nutritional value and it tastes like . . . . nothing (to me, anyway). Other lettuces aren't much better, but I'll take a good spinach or kale salad :9
https://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/vegetable/iceberg-lettuce.html there is definitely nutritional value0 -
ruqayyahsmum wrote: »DJ_Skywalker wrote: »I can't assume whether someone is eating 500-3000 calories a day just by 2 oz of tuna or a leaf of lettuce. Who knows what they had for breakfast or will have at home. We are so busy at work, so many of us hardly have time to eat during the day apart from snacking here and there.
Yeah but again... OP said she was hungry! Then she ate almost nothing.
Context, people.
I had a woman argue with me in a cafe after i ate half a slice of toast and a bit of scrambled egg in a cafe
She kept on about ordering stuff and not eating. I told her repeatedly i had been hungry when i ordered but was now full. I explained i had a gastric bypass etc
In the end i had to explain how sometimes foods stick and restriction means i cannot eat more
Her throw away comment was next time order a kids meal ( her colleague refused that as im over 12 years old)
All this was said with everyone listening.
Even with context its still not ok to badger another person about thier choices
That's much more ignorant.0 -
They probably went on about it longer than they should have... But for someone to say "I'm hungry" and then pick at 2oz of tuna, I can understand why they said somehing. I would think that person forgot their wallet or something.3
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StarvingDiva wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
Did she talk about being hungry right before that? You appear to have taken this extremely personally. As I said, it sounds like she should have let it go, but you seem really defensive about this. And what does your weight have to do with it?
I didn't take anything personally at all. That's an odd thing to surmise. I mentioned my weight because I'm clearly not anorexic.
Whether it's a small amount of food or a huge amount, it was rude to bring up and NOT drop. This wasn't a friend of mine.
I am overweight and BMI is obese and I have bulimia (binging then excessive exercise or fasting) and even if I'm at this moment recovered if I went back to it I would have an eating disorder and be overweight and need treatment or help from family. So yeah your weight doesn't matter. Anorexia isn't the only eating disorder. Eating a few hundred calories a day with no medical reason even if you are 300lbs is an eating disorder - period.
She has already stated multiple times she is under medical care due to surgery of her esophagus.
That doesn't matter. It's still important to point out that you can be any weight and have an ED I belong to an ED forum where a lot of people are afraid to see help because they're overweight and think they'll be laughed away2 -
ruqayyahsmum wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »ruqayyahsmum wrote: »DJ_Skywalker wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »So I had 2 oz of tuna for lunch today...with another 350 calories of other stuff to round it out.
Hope it was a plate of bacon
Tuna with bacon?
Ill take the bacon hold the tuna please
Fresh tuna wrapped in bacon and grilled is yummy!
That sounds nice, i was picturing the canned flaked tuna we get here in the uk
I think the first comment was indeed meant to be about bacon and canned tuna but once I got bacon in my head I started thinking about bacon everything1 -
Verity1111 wrote: »StarvingDiva wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
Did she talk about being hungry right before that? You appear to have taken this extremely personally. As I said, it sounds like she should have let it go, but you seem really defensive about this. And what does your weight have to do with it?
I didn't take anything personally at all. That's an odd thing to surmise. I mentioned my weight because I'm clearly not anorexic.
Whether it's a small amount of food or a huge amount, it was rude to bring up and NOT drop. This wasn't a friend of mine.
I am overweight and BMI is obese and I have bulimia (binging then excessive exercise or fasting) and even if I'm at this moment recovered if I went back to it I would have an eating disorder and be overweight and need treatment or help from family. So yeah your weight doesn't matter. Anorexia isn't the only eating disorder. Eating a few hundred calories a day with no medical reason even if you are 300lbs is an eating disorder - period.
She has already stated multiple times she is under medical care due to surgery of her esophagus.
That doesn't matter. It's still important to point out that you can be any weight and have an ED I belong to an ED forum where a lot of people are afraid to see help because they're overweight and think they'll be laughed away
Medically restricted eating is not the same thing as an eating disorder.6 -
I popped into this thread thinking I might relate. I get crap about a burger and a small salad not being enough food for dinner. Not a big Ruby Tuesday burger, but a regular-sized burger.
...But I think I was mistaken. *backs away slowly*11 -
PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »I popped into this thread thinking I might relate. I get crap about a burger and a small salad not being enough food for dinner. Not a big Ruby Tuesday burger, but a regular-sized burger.
...But I think I was mistaken. *backs away slowly*
Yes this thread has gotten ridiculous
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YouRAFatPig wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »I can't eat much at once.
Today in work we had a lunch meeting. On the way there, someone said they were hungry and I said me too. I had a little container of 2oz of tuna that I picked at. Someone in the meeting kept saying, "that's it? That's all you're eating? You want half my sandwich? Do you want to run and go get something?"
I kept saying I was fine... I just wanted a little tuna. My other coworker finally stepped in and put a stop to it.
I left there so annoyed.
Wtf is "scrutize"?
It's a typo. Scrutinize.0 -
gabriellejayde wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »You said you were hungry and then you were eating very little. I would have also offered to share my food with you for the same reasons. I'm sure she went on longer than she should have, but it's not hard to figure out why she said something.
Nobody said anything to the young, thin assistant in the room eating a big bowl of lettuce. Just lettuce.
if you don't want anybody commenting on your food then I wouldn't comment on theirs. you might not have said it in the meeting but its rude either way.3 -
YouRAFatPig wrote: »gabriellejayde wrote: »I can't eat much at once.
Today in work we had a lunch meeting. On the way there, someone said they were hungry and I said me too. I had a little container of 2oz of tuna that I picked at. Someone in the meeting kept saying, "that's it? That's all you're eating? You want half my sandwich? Do you want to run and go get something?"
I kept saying I was fine... I just wanted a little tuna. My other coworker finally stepped in and put a stop to it.
I left there so annoyed.
Wtf is "scrutize"?
*You're1
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