What nobody tells you about losing weight
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nuttynanners wrote: »mikeyninja wrote: »How much people ask for advice. They always frown when I tell them my secret was a food diary MFP and exercise.
So much this. I am participating in a Biggest Loser Challenge at work. Our percentage of weight lost is reported at the beginning of each month during a 6 month period. My boss came to me, intrigued, saying "What have you been doing?!" I responded by saying "Counting my calories and exercising more," and she looked dissatisfied with my response. Her look basically told me that she was hoping I could give her some kind of miracle weight loss advice...and that the truth was utterly boring.
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Geocitiesuser wrote: »nope, all I've cared about from day one was human affection. I haven't had so much as a hug in literally over two years. Lost 130lbs, still can't get a reply on the personals or get a woman to speak to me if I wore sparklers in my ears... All the confidence in the world (or personality) doesn't matter, if people won't even SPEAK to you if they think there's a non platonic motive. I haven't been on a date in going on 3 years... but this is not the right place for that conversation.
I just know that losing 130lbs has not solved the problem, or even improved it in the slightest. There are lots of guys who claim they lost weight and turned into james bond, I wanted to believe the fairy tail. So I have to find different things in life to entertain me as I live out the rest of my days.... a bitter pill that I'm not happy about.
Loneliness is a pain. Most of us need human connection and touch and I hope that you don't get discouraged and that you keep doing what you're doing to make yourself better and stronger. If you haven't done it already, therapy helps to figure out what else is missing and what can strengthen our connection to others. Nobody is a lost cause and I hope you don't give up.21 -
nuttynanners wrote: »mikeyninja wrote: »How much people ask for advice. They always frown when I tell them my secret was a food diary MFP and exercise.
So much this. I am participating in a Biggest Loser Challenge at work. Our percentage of weight lost is reported at the beginning of each month during a 6 month period. My boss came to me, intrigued, saying "What have you been doing?!" I responded by saying "Counting my calories and exercising more," and she looked dissatisfied with my response. Her look basically told me that she was hoping I could give her some kind of miracle weight loss advice...and that the truth was utterly boring.
Yep, this is my favourite. I just met with a bunch of people I haven't seen in years and they asked a lot of questions; in the end I stopped trying to explain and resorted to the "Oh, yes, you only have to do this one simple trick" answer. People hear what they want to hear, and you can distinguish between the ones who are serious or not ^^5 -
Finally done reading through all of the awesome posts on here. I started losing weight back in 2014 and lost about 35 lbs, slowly gained about 20 back through the last 3 years and now I just started tracking again and since May 2017 I have already lost those 20 lbs I've gained and hope to keep going til I reach the goals I originally set for myself back in 2014. Since I started my weightloss journey so long ago, I have had a lot of time to reflect on the way weightloss has affected my life. Without even reaching my original weightloss goal in 2014, and just losing the 35 lbs, I had felt my entire life had changed for the better. Looking at who I was before 2014 when I was in a darker period and gaining weight I don't even recognize that person. when I started losing the weight and becoming healthy I suddenly felt ALIVE again. So I guess I would say that no one told me that it could help me feel so different, new, and alive. like I was becoming the person I was suppose to be instead of the depressed unhealthy person I was trapped in. Also no one told me that I was actually going to dislike when people notice I lost weight. Since losing weight this time around, I am still not comfortable when people notice my weightloss. I was awkward about it back then and I still am now. I don't know how to overcome this.
Same!! I never understood when others complained about the "positive comments" before I started losing, but I get it now! It doesn't feel like a compliment; it feels like they're commenting on how you used to look. I've gotten comments like "wow! You're such a skinny minny now!" and I just don't know what to say. I'm not really going for "skinny" but, um, thanks?10 -
Geocitiesuser wrote: »nope, all I've cared about from day one was human affection. I haven't had so much as a hug in literally over two years. Lost 130lbs, still can't get a reply on the personals or get a woman to speak to me if I wore sparklers in my ears... All the confidence in the world (or personality) doesn't matter, if people won't even SPEAK to you if they think there's a non platonic motive. I haven't been on a date in going on 3 years... but this is not the right place for that conversation.
I just know that losing 130lbs has not solved the problem, or even improved it in the slightest. There are lots of guys who claim they lost weight and turned into james bond, I wanted to believe the fairy tail. So I have to find different things in life to entertain me as I live out the rest of my days.... a bitter pill that I'm not happy about.
Loneliness is a pain. Most of us need human connection and touch and I hope that you don't get discouraged and that you keep doing what you're doing to make yourself better and stronger. If you haven't done it already, therapy helps to figure out what else is missing and what can strengthen our connection to others. Nobody is a lost cause and I hope you don't give up.
Men who complain of women not replying to them when it comes to online dating (OLD) do so because they are messaging the same top whatever-percentage of conventionally hot young women in their early 20s on OLD sites (whether real women or other men posing as women) that a majority of the men on any one particular OLD site are messaging as well. Of course the average man is not going to get a response. Rudder's Dataclysm pointed this out long ago.
Instead of accepting this fact, many men become bitter and bemoan it's all due to BDR (Bi#!hes, they don't reply) and proceed to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Not that fact they were/are swinging for the fences and missing, is all.
And other such nonsense, actually. It's the same mentality as NiceGuys™ always whinging that "Nice guys finish last". Only, the NiceGuy™ complaining of such is rarely, if ever, actually nice in reality.73 -
That it's more about how you think than how you act.4
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grinning_chick wrote: »Geocitiesuser wrote: »nope, all I've cared about from day one was human affection. I haven't had so much as a hug in literally over two years. Lost 130lbs, still can't get a reply on the personals or get a woman to speak to me if I wore sparklers in my ears... All the confidence in the world (or personality) doesn't matter, if people won't even SPEAK to you if they think there's a non platonic motive. I haven't been on a date in going on 3 years... but this is not the right place for that conversation.
I just know that losing 130lbs has not solved the problem, or even improved it in the slightest. There are lots of guys who claim they lost weight and turned into james bond, I wanted to believe the fairy tail. So I have to find different things in life to entertain me as I live out the rest of my days.... a bitter pill that I'm not happy about.
Loneliness is a pain. Most of us need human connection and touch and I hope that you don't get discouraged and that you keep doing what you're doing to make yourself better and stronger. If you haven't done it already, therapy helps to figure out what else is missing and what can strengthen our connection to others. Nobody is a lost cause and I hope you don't give up.
Men who complain of women not replying to them when it comes to online dating (OLD) do so because they are messaging the same top whatever-percentage of conventionally hot young women in their early 20s on OLD sites (whether real women or other men posing as women) that a majority of the men on any one particular OLD site are messaging as well. Of course the average man is not going to get a response. Rudder's Dataclysm pointed this out long ago.
Instead of accepting this fact, many men become bitter and bemoan it's all due to BDR (Bi#!hes, they don't reply) and proceed to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Not that fact they were/are swinging for the fences and missing, is all.
And other such nonsense, actually. It's the same mentality as NiceGuys™ always whinging that "Nice guys finish last". Only, the NiceGuy™ complaining of such is rarely, if ever, actually nice in reality.
I want to awesome this 1000 times.23 -
When sweating "feels good" instead of "fat and gross".
When you can pull your jeans straight out of the dryer and they fit loosely instead of like a hot body wrap.47 -
Never take your before pictures in a stretchable dress.21
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12Sarah2015 wrote: »The excitement when you get a healthy BMI reading on the scale
Yes! Can't wait for that golden moment!9 -
Some people won't notice. Or won't bother to say anything. At first you will be pissed but later on (at least for me), these are the kind of people you want in your life--people who aren't obsessed with looks.33
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LauraInTheWater wrote: »Some people won't notice. Or won't bother to say anything.
I find that those who apparently don't notice/bother to say anything are too polite to mention the fact that you've lost weight. I've come across this several times and the people in question have only made a comment after the weight loss has been referred to in general conversation.
My dad, on the other hand, doesn't say anything because that would mean paying me a compliment. My dad really doesn't like me but that's okay because the feeling is pretty well mutual.
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Madwife2009 wrote: »LauraInTheWater wrote: »Some people won't notice. Or won't bother to say anything.
I find that those who apparently don't notice/bother to say anything are too polite to mention the fact that you've lost weight. I've come across this several times and the people in question have only made a comment after the weight loss has been referred to in general conversation.
I have found this also. One of my co-workers said something after a while and I said "Did you just notice?" He said he had noticed, but he didn't want to offend me by saying something, especially being a man saying something to a woman. He is a very nice guy at work who would never want to offend me.17 -
Madwife2009 wrote: »LauraInTheWater wrote: »Some people won't notice. Or won't bother to say anything.
I find that those who apparently don't notice/bother to say anything are too polite to mention the fact that you've lost weight. I've come across this several times and the people in question have only made a comment after the weight loss has been referred to in general conversation.
I think sometimes, they also can't put their finger on what has changed. I went to a gathering yesterday and haven't seen many of the folks in about 6 months. Though I was on my journey then, it wasn't noticeable. Yesterday, I showed up with 15% of my weight gone and I had just left getting my hair cut. So many of the partygoers would look at my hair and say how great I looked (It was shorter ... but a similar style to what I had last time I saw them) . I believe they knew something was different and they went for the obvious and 'easy' answer first.5 -
pacingoamy wrote: »Madwife2009 wrote: »LauraInTheWater wrote: »Some people won't notice. Or won't bother to say anything.
I find that those who apparently don't notice/bother to say anything are too polite to mention the fact that you've lost weight. I've come across this several times and the people in question have only made a comment after the weight loss has been referred to in general conversation.
I think sometimes, they also can't put their finger on what has changed. I went to a gathering yesterday and haven't seen many of the folks in about 6 months. Though I was on my journey then, it wasn't noticeable. Yesterday, I showed up with 15% of my weight gone and I had just left getting my hair cut. So many of the partygoers would look at my hair and say how great I looked (It was shorter ... but a similar style to what I had last time I saw them) . I believe they knew something was different and they went for the obvious and 'easy' answer first.
There's a great deal of effort to "find the negative" in anything that is said in the workplace, or anywhere for that matter. Reviewing a few recent LinkedIn articles all of which recommended to not comment if a co-worker has lost weight for fear of having them think that they were somehow lesser when heavier. Personally I find this absurd. This is often more in how you say it as opposed to what you say.4 -
pacingoamy wrote: »Madwife2009 wrote: »LauraInTheWater wrote: »Some people won't notice. Or won't bother to say anything.
I find that those who apparently don't notice/bother to say anything are too polite to mention the fact that you've lost weight. I've come across this several times and the people in question have only made a comment after the weight loss has been referred to in general conversation.
I think sometimes, they also can't put their finger on what has changed. I went to a gathering yesterday and haven't seen many of the folks in about 6 months. Though I was on my journey then, it wasn't noticeable. Yesterday, I showed up with 15% of my weight gone and I had just left getting my hair cut. So many of the partygoers would look at my hair and say how great I looked (It was shorter ... but a similar style to what I had last time I saw them) . I believe they knew something was different and they went for the obvious and 'easy' answer first.
In my case, it was pretty obvious what was different. The guys in question saw me once every week, and I'd lost half of my body weight (140 lbs). The weight loss came out in general conversation about fitness and they actually said that they'd noticed but didn't like to say anything in case I was offended. Bless them. They were very complimentary once they realised that it was okay to say something about it.12 -
aerochic42 wrote: »anyone else's nails grow faster? I swear mine are.
Yes! I used to spend a lot of money on natural nail treatments and polishes etc. because my nails were brittle and thin.
Consistently eating better foods and exercising daily (circulation) has made my nails so healthy & strong. They grow really fast too! I have to trim them quite often to keep to my desired length.LauraInTheWater wrote: »Am I crazy or does anyone else have a life friend (from work or a family member or whatever) who wants to workout with you but you really don't want them to because that's your time? In afraid to tell people I know when the exercise classes I take are because I had someone I know come for several weeks and it didn't feel like that class was my time away from the world any more. I like having my workout buddies but I don't want my real world permeating into that...
Some people say they want to walk with me since I lost so much weight and kept it off doing that activity. I tell them when I walk, I WALK. Fast, continuously and with a purpose. No strolling around the block. So when we walk they get mad at me because I walk really fast plus I have long, strong legs. lol
These days I would make additional time to walk with others, but I still get my fast walking workout in solo. That's my me time and I enjoy vibing out to my music and going at my own pace.13 -
How self conscious I am talking about my weight loss. I am a very public person in my very small community, and everyday two or three or more people comment on or ask about my weight loss. So far they have all been positive and friendly. I wear a size 8 down from a16 so the weight loss can't be missed, and I just feel funny about all the comments. I am learning this is a private thing for me; I guess I should be thrilled so many people are cheering me on instead of wanting to squirm!
I find I'm the same about wanting to keep this to myself. Unlike you I'm not a well-known figure in a small community, so luckily enough I have the OPTION to keep it to myself, but I nevertheless empathise. In my case I think it has to do with—something I've mentioned on this board before—me being in a situation where I'm waiting for my body to catch up with my mind (which has always thought I looked good hahaha) as opposed to my mind catching up with my body's progress and still thinking I'm bigger than I am. I think I've just set up an alternate reality wherein nobody was supposed to have noticed when I was bigger, and was supposed to have been seeing me the way I saw myself. Therefore there's nothing to comment on11 -
J) Everyone's body and journey are different. A certain type of plan is working for you? AWESOME! Don't assume it will work for everyone else, don't preach about it, and for goodness sake try to not be too judgy about someone else's choices, unless they are at a serious danger to themselves. Different doesn't mean wrong, it's just different.
Boy that's the truth. And preachy is the worst. Also, piggybacking on some of the more recent comments, it has been my experience that I'd rather do my exercise bits by myself as well, for no reason other than that I know how personal and personalISED progress is. As opposed to being too fit or too fast for my friends, back in the day I'd occasionally tried to tag on with some friends when they went for a run or something, and I was the one who couldn't keep up, which was discouraging. Similarly, as I've found a fitness regime that DOES work for me I just want to be left to get on with it rather than hoping I can bring someone else on board with me.6 -
zharptichka wrote: »Weird but I now have really noticeable pre-Shark Week cravings. Like a couple days ago I was willing to commit murder if I couldn't find chocolate. I never used to have them or at least notice it. I wonder if it's because I no longer really crave sweets or junk on regular days so the only cravings left are hormonal and so they stand out more? All I know is I'm gonna invest in a couple of high quality choclate bars to store for next month.Seattleovercast wrote: »Ladies only guys proceed to next person
So my time of month had been 27 days after last time ended as I gained weight and i thought age it moved to 23 days after last stopped well as I am losing weight I noticed it is going back to less frequent last month was 25 and this one was 26.
After a month of healthy eating mine swung from 28-29 days, to 35!!! My husband and I both freaked out a little although I figured it was the changes to my diet. The next month it was back to 28.
How interesting! These two comments kind of go together for me. I've been doing this two months now, and in those two months my cravings—which were not so much for chocolate but for as much salt and fat as I could possibly find—have disappeared. And since the cravings were how I knew my period was on its way I had no idea when it struck these past two months. Unfortunately, unlike @Seattleovercast my cycle has actually gotten SHORTER! You may have stolen my extra week of peace. I might be willing to give it up not to have the cravings though ...
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