WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2018

Pip - sounds like Kirby will be in good hands and I'm sure he will sail thru the MRI. Sending comforting hugs your way!

Katla - gorgeous grands! What an adorable photo. Any updates about your daughter moving to Oregon?

Machka - I have been thinking of you walking to the hospital and realizing it's getting chilly as it's now fall in OZ. These past couple days I've been listening to relaxation and "medical" self-hypnosis tapes for healing for my back. The positive affirmations while in a "dream" state are so powerful. Someone else in this group - Karen?- mentioned talking to him while he's in the coma. I would hope the docs and nurses and those who visit him are telling him he's getting better every day and that his brain and body have an inborn power to heal and it's taking place right now. At least that's what I would want my friends and family to do if I was in a similar situation. If anyone is interested, I downloaded the mp3 self-hypnosis programs from WestwoodPublishingco.com and the narrator/creator is Gil Boyne. I got the "Gil Boyne – Programming Secrets of Health Wellness Vitality" which also comes with the relaxation program. $14.95. He has a deep voice and I can't believe I took classes from him over 30 years ago... so I guess I was already "pre-programmed" lol. He also has audios for weight loss, quit smoking, etc.

Wendy - I am so glad your eating program is working for you. Kudos for sticking with it! Hope the payment for the business comes through in a timely manner and you get a sense of how long you'll have to be working there. Are the bees all ready for winter now? Is there anything more to do for them as the season grows cold?

Karen in VA -- I totally agree about what we tend to overeat on. I can't tell you how many times I've stuck my hand in the cookie jar and in mid-crunch wondering why am I not eating an avocado or some delicious nutritious leftovers? What kid lives in our heads that needs sweet treats??? I want to tell it "grow up, junior" LOL. Keeping my favorite nuts and good cheeses on hand seems to help if I would just remember to grab them.

Trish - Trisha - Tricia I am sorry to admit I am so confused. Could I ask you to please add where you are from on every post so I can keep you straight?

Terry - Ok when the teleporter finally gets out of the shop (the speedy one, not the one that scrambles molecules) I want you to reserve it for a couple days and zip down to see Mary and Rita where it's sunny!! That will do you a world of good I think. Don't forget sunscreen, lol.

Ladies, the sun is up and we are between showers so I'm outta here for a few before this PC decides to dump what I've typed here.

Lanette
Chilly & Windy SW WA State

Happy Thursday! I'm just starting on my first cup of coffee for the morning. My plan for the day is to go to yoga this morning and then do whatever comes next.

I've been talking with DH about the possibilities of going out for meals occasionally now that we know he's dealing with gluten intolerance. Thai and Chinese restaurants seem to be likely places for him to do well. He won't be able to have toast at the cafe where we occasionally go for breakfast, but he should do fine eating bacon eggs & potatoes.

We've made great progress with cooking at home. We eliminated gluten for him, and also garlic and onion powder, and all fresh onions that are not green. Chives are now the mainstay from the onion family. Replacing customary seasonings hasn't been as hard as I thought it might be. I still eat things with gluten in them such as regular bread. He now has gluten free bread and it is tasty enough.

If any of you have gluten intolerance or family members who have it, what advice might you have regarding eating out?

Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. - Kevyn Aucoin

Just passing by.....Have a good day!

Carol in GA

Heather I agree, you ladies are like my secret helpers, each one of you share your thoughts, advice, challenges and courage as a reminder that I too can keep going!!

NYKAREN

Heather - I am just plain envious of your long delicious dinners! The last time DH and I sat and had a leisurely meal like that was when his cousin and wife came to visit us several years ago. So much fun sitting around the table, a little wine, scrounging in the fridge for quick dessert and cheese after appetizers and the whole thing. Now, he is plopped in front of the television for every meal and I really don't like to eat like that. I often prepare a place for myself at the dining room table and eat alone without that blasted TV blaring but still, it's quite enjoyable.

Maybe it's the old married couple syndrome, lol. Or the fact that my DH is not a talker and couldn't sit still that long just talking to me.

You are so right about loving the food we put inside ourselves.

Update on our cleaner -- she came by a couple days ago to assess what I had for cleaning supplies and get the lay of the house. What an energetic, positive little gal! She just lives a couple miles from us - 7 minutes to get here on back roads. She said she's also an organizer and people hire her for that. So we are enthused she'll be adding a spark to our house every couple weeks. The dogs LOVED her and greeted her like she was their long lost friend. We are hoping she works out and we'll be in good hands for a long time.

Have a wonderful Thursday! Tomorrow is Friday the 13th!

Lanette
Rainy SW WA State

Hi all! Sunny but extremely windy today. Wind storms are New Mexico spring storms. I am used to storms having rain snow and/ or thunder-lightning with them! The constant sun has helped my depression a lot. It would be gone except for DH’s fits.

RV Rita in windy Columbus New Mexico

Lanette - I love to eat around a table too, especially with friends, and when we are self catering on holiday we always do that for just the two of us. Luckily we never run out of things to say. On our cruise we have a table just for the two of us and spin the meal out as long as possible by just having tiny portions. Last year the waiter kept my stinky cheese back for me alone. We are newly weds of course - just 13 years married. Our 15th 'meeting anniversary' is next month.
However, I have to admit that we eat our ordinary, everyday dinners while watching TV in the living room. I serve it during the news. Then we have a cup of tea and the TV goes off for an hour and the dessert is served just before we switch it back on at 8pm. Then a bit later I fetch a bite of cheese and soon afterwards we have the chocolate.
We decide together what to watch. If I want to watch something DH doesn't like I go upstairs to the bedroom TV. If he wants to watch football or something he goes upstairs. He also watches football online on his laptop with the sound turned off. I can't see it because it is behind my head. This arrangement works well for us, though it is me who normally decides on the TV schedule, which I plan through "The Guide" we get with the paper on Saturday. I do choose the quiz shows he likes and record my favourites if they clash. We have the volume lower than some people. I often do something on my tablet while he watches the quizzes, like Duolingo through headphones. I have just completed the Swedish course. :drinker:
I think it is very important to have guidelines for a happy marriage and rules that you both agree on and stick to. It is no good if one person is resentful. There is usually a compromise to be reached that makes both parties happy.

Looking forward to my dinner already!

Love Heather UK xxxxxxx

Reverse mortgages is another word for 'second mortgage' or 'refinance mortgage' or 'home equity loan' ... the bank or whoever it is done through puts a 'lien' on the house, even 'if' the children have not signed anything and they hope they can get the house or be paid off if and when the house has to be sold in order to complete the probate of a Will. One, in some states, can do their own probate if there aren't any debts and the beneficiaries agree and it is a simple Will leaving their belongings to their children or whoever. Insurance does not fall under probation of a Will unless the person has named the 'estate' as the beneficiary. They name a specific beneficiary because that money is general what gets used to pay for the funeral, maybe their last illness, or go ahead and divide, there are a lot of ways to word a Will that 'protects' the children from being looked at to pay off these types of mortgages. They haven't been 'in effect' long enough for someone to raise a stink about it being a 'bait and switch' tactic (which it is, they 'bait' mostly older people who are elderly and have a lot of equity in their home because they've paid it off or way down). It sounds good when they advertise that they can use it for any reason; but, it is a lie and if your parents discuss with you anything about a 'reverse mortgage' ask questions and do your best to discourage it. Even a 'home equity' loan is a 2nd mortgage. Most elderly people have Medicare and a lot of 'city' hospital that serve people with Medicare (and Medicaid) have to 'write off' what Medicare and any secondary insurance pays - as payment 'in full'. IF you do get a bill for this, call and tell them that you have always been told that if Medicare pays anything at all, and there is a balance it is supposed to be 'written off'. I've found that gets done for most of my medical bills; but, I also have a very good secondary insurance - and all my MDs are 'in my program'. I just changed from paying the premium for a 'family' to a "Me plus One" for myself and my husband. I found this out when I called OPM and asked about my 'life insurance' with them. It's 'term'; but, it won't go below $11,500. It has now started working backward and in 14 months .... that will be what it is worth. Enough to give me a nice funeral with some left over. For so long as we have a mortgage, we must carry 'life insurance' so that the house will be paid off after we die so the other doesn't have to continue making payments on it. I certainly could not afford the payments on it without the extra income that comes into this house because of DH's SSI and the fact that at the age of 76, he is still working. That isn't always going to be the case. He is getting 'tired' of it; but, until DOS goes back to school to further his education and get a job that he wants, that is why he works. I can get very 'resentful' of this - but, nothing is going to change at this moment. DDnL#1 is 'unhappy' at the job she has and makes far more than any other job she has ever had - 'because the other women are talking about her' or 'they don't show her what she is supposed to do'. The woman that 'harps' on her is not even her 'supervisor' and she even went so far as to tell 'her' supervisor that she was probably going to be giving him her notice. He asked her 'why' and when she told him the truth; he told her that the other woman isn't her supervisor and has no ability to fire her and he is happy with what she is doing and told her to 'ignore' her. She is way too immature and undisciplined to do that. I've told her to 'keep her head down, do her job, and don't worry about 'what' they might be talking about when she isn't 'included' in the conversation. She's got great benefits that even cover oldest granddaughter through the age of 26, if she doesn't get married or have a job that gives her health insurance. Also has a good retirement and the company will match up to 6% of what she puts in. She's got it 'made in the shade' and is just 'too stupid' to realize that. She is 'hot' and 'cold' about the job and this creates a lot of stress o DOS. He has told her 'that IF she quits the job or gets fired for insubordination (which was what happened 2 jobs ago) ... he'd file for a divorce. Of course, he 'says' that; but, we doubt he would go through with it. "He loves her" don't 'cha know. I look at her and think to myself (and say to Louis) ... 'if she isn't bipolar I will kiss your @$$'. It is just a matter of time before she 'breaks down' and I hate it for her; but, especially for DOS. DYS won't come around because after she was so ugly to his wife, he has NO USE for her, at all. Sorry for the rant and rave, just had to get that off my chest. I miss my 'baby' son and his wife and our granddaughter; but, I can certainly understand why he feels the way he does. I can also realize why I feel the way I do ... she emailed me with almost 20 years of 'resentment' that we've talked through many times. I don't think I have said 20 words to her since Christmas. Whenever I have to be in the hospital, she treats me like I'm an idiot when I get home. Christmas Day was the first time I felt like the 'hug' I got from her had any meaning behind it. Haven't seen her but once since and they live next door (but, not stuck right under us. Another thing she does is 'ride' on the grass instead of on the driveway. It pissed Louis off because she had done it so much that there are ruts in it. He keeps threatening to put stake and chains along our side of the driveway - but actually, the driveway (until you turn into the back of where they park behind their home - is actually on our side of the property. I told him, to just DO IT! Don't warn her again and don't feel like he has to tell DOS about it again. She 'says' she doesn't want to ride on the driveway because it has nails in it. Well, that is strange, I don't think I've ever had a nail in my tires due to a nail in the driveway. We'd love to be able to put gravel down; but, that costs about $300 a truckload and it would probably take 5 loads (to do it right). Surprisingly, our county commissioner got rock put down from our driveway down to the bridge on the other side of our neighbors. We gave them permission to drive up our firebreak; if the road was ever too muddy for them to get up the hill.

OK, that's it for the day!
Lenora

Hi Sisters, raining here. I have to go out and feed then go work at the office. Thanks Meg, for being happy with me for my looming retirement! I will still be doing my queen making work during bee season but that is seasonal work so I get more time off in winter, which I need because it takes longer to feed and make the animals comfortable when the weather is bad. Not working at the office means I will save money on gas, (driving in and out), food, (stay home and cook from scratch rather than eat out or buy convenience food), less need for office clothes, and simply less temptations by staying out of town and away from shops! I will be less stressed as well so I anticipate sticking to my dietary plans will be easier. I will have more time to devote to my writing, my animals, my garden and of course, my children and grandchildren. I will have more time to prepare and plan so I can make my life smoother and better in all respects. I will probably pick up some more riding students as that is a fun way for me to earn a bit of money to buy horse food and wormers and supplements. I will also breed a foal or two every year, for fun and to earn the money for the hay and grain.

Lanette, the bees are all set for winter. We have to feed them once every three weeks with a sugar/water mixture which will take my husband about three days, as long as the weather co-operates. In between times, he will be making bee boxes and waxing frames in preparation for spring.

Today is my husband's last day at the office. He is scowling this morning while I am saying "Whoo Hoo, party at the office, clean out your desk!" He replies, "I don't like change!" I can interpret this to mean he is worried we won't have enough money now to pay our bills. He is a security freak due to an insecure childhood with an alcoholic father who had a nervous breakdown and couldn't go to work, so they lost their childhood home and had to move in with his grandparents. Scarred for life. LOL. It turned him into a workaholic.

Michelle, I held my plank for one minute 15 agonising seconds yesterday. How do you go for so long?


Pip, please let us know the results of Darling Kirby's MRI. I am very fond of Kirby. And Machka, is there any signs, any tiny improvements with your husband?

Well, I better get into my teleporter or I won't get my chores done, Love ya and chat later Wendy

Becca ~ Great job logging!

Wendy ~ It will probably take a while for your husband to get used to now being full timed employed, but, I am sure once he adjusts it will be good for you both.

The pollen is worse than it has been in 3 yrs and my teeth are on edge from sinus issues. Can't wait for the rain to wash it away.

Carol in GA

Katla49 wrote: »

Happy Thursday! I'm just starting on my first cup of coffee for the morning. My plan for the day is to go to yoga this morning and then do whatever comes next.

I've been talking with DH about the possibilities of going out for meals occasionally now that we know he's dealing with gluten intolerance. Thai and Chinese restaurants seem to be likely places for him to do well. He won't be able to have toast at the cafe where we occasionally go for breakfast, but he should do fine eating bacon eggs & potatoes.

If any of you have gluten intolerance or family members who have it, what advice might you have regarding eating out?

Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

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I struggle eating Chinese because soy sauce has wheat in it. In fact, at Panda Express, the only thing I can eat is plain rice.

I have had a little better luck with Thai food and Indian food has been great so far.

I have had good luck with Mexican food, as long as it's not "fast food." No Del Taco or Taco Bell, etc. Taco Del Mar is okay, if I'm careful.

Cafe Yumm (do you have them up where you are? I know there's one at PDX) is amazing. They even have a gluten free cookie.

Five guys is great to work with. Just tell them it's an allergy (easier than explaining the whole thing), and they change their gloves and will put the burger in a lettuce wrap. Their fries are safe because they don't throw chicken nuggets (or something else battered with flour) into their oil. (In and Out fries are also safe.) Jersey Mikes is safe, if you all are wanting Subs. They have gluten free bread, and they clean everything before even slicing the meat and cheese and assemble the sandwich away from everything else and keep it on paper when putting the condiments on. Takes about 15 extra minutes, but worth the wait. Jimmy Johns makes delicious lettuce wraps, but they aren't as careful in the preparation.

When we are going out, I usually look online to see if there is a gf menu and decide what I'm going to eat before I get there. If that isn't possible, I ask if they have a gluten free menu. Funny story -- Pei Wei has a gluten free menu. It is literally a 3x5 card. Lol

Sorry this isn't very organized -- even if something looks like it might be gluten free, you have to be careful about cross contamination. Gluten is sticky, so if the grill had bread on it and they fry your hamburger, even if they put that hamburger in a lettuce wrap, it probably has gluten on it. Or if they put the mayo on your gluten free bread with the same knife they used to put mayo on a gluten-filled bread, your husband will get sick. Been there. Many times.

If you all ever come to Salem, definitely eat at Marco Polo, on Liberty, I think. Best gluten free dinner I've ever had. A pretty complete menu and gluten free desserts. For my birthday last year, my husband bought a whole gluten free cake from them. Expensive, but so yummy. And I didn't get sick!!!

I could ramble on and on about trying to eat gluten free. Because it is so stressful, I don't usually eat out very much. My husband and I have date night once a week, and we've tried different places, but now we just go to the same Mexican restaurant every week because I've not been glutened there, except when I was being reckless.

Felicia, gluten free and loving it (when I'm not complaining about it)
Willamette Valley, Oregon

Yvonne in TX: I had a grilled cheese sandwich this very day, before I knew it was grilled cheese sandwich day. Thank you for the information.

Terry: I take Vitamin D3 supplements, 5000IU of D3 every day. Since I started taking D3 everything has been better for me. More recently I've also started taking CQ 10 at the recommendation of others here. I think that idea came from the series on brain health that Lanette encouraged us to view. The number of days when I've felt sad or depressed has declined dramatically from the D3 and I feel like the CQ10 helps my brain work better. I would recommend that you consider giving them a try. Regular exercise is the very best of all. I thrive on yoga that improves my fitness and horseback riding to add a little adventure and fun to my life. Having fun and experiencing joy are the best antidotes to depression that I know. If you are anything like me, choosing exercise that is fun for you will make it more likely that you'll follow through. :flowerforyou:

Evelyn: Thanks for your good wishes.

Roundbutsound: Welcome to a great group! :flowerforyou:

Lisa: Good luck on your upcoming move. I hope your new home is a delight for you and Corey. :flowerforyou:

Lanette: My daughter says she would like to move to Oregon but I'm not holding my breath until she gets here. It will be wonderful if and when it happens. I know that her DH doesn't like the climate here. Of course we have more than one climate in Oregon, and the one where I live is the rainier one. East of the Cascades it is dryer, and it is possible he could find an area he likes.

Lanette: I grew up in a family where there was a TV in the dining area of the kitchen. In my teen years we had dinner along with the Viet Nam War for every meal. I hate watching TV news during dinner. Bad memories. :sad:

Pip: I hope the results from Kirby's testing will allow you both to find ways to move forward and enjoy life. If he needs PT, okay. If he needs meds, okay. I just hope there is something that he can do to improve how he feels.

(((Rebecca))) Baby yourself a bit and don't pick on your emotions. Change is stressful, even when it is wanted & hard earned. Eustress happens as a result of good changes. Distress comes from unhappy or scary events. Both are stress and emotionally challenging. Settle in a little, poke around your new island home a bit. Try and find something fun to do. Are you in the rainy part of the island or the dryer part? Meanwhile, we're all here any time you want someone to talk to.

Felicia: The doctor gave DH a lengthy list of Fodmap foods and soysauce is listed as an okay item. He's been using it on foods and has had no problem so far. Thanks to your comments we will be watchful and see how it goes. Surprising to me, he isn't allowed to use garlic powder or onion powder. Garlic is a complete no-no, but he can use the green tops of onions and chives. No other onions, even in cooking. Thanks for your information. Every bit that I learn helps me feel better prepared. :flowerforyou:


Yoga today was lovely and I plan to go again tomorrow. I usually ride a recumbent exercise bike before yoga. Today I also used an elliptical trainer. I earned loads of calories before I even went to yoga. At this point, mid afternoon, I still have 1576 calories available. Dinner will shift those caloric numbers into a healthy zone.

Katla in beautiful NW Oregon

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.
William James