No Children - Lifestyle Choice

You are SO not alone. This baby-crazy culture does drive me mad, and being seen as a walking uterus does make my teeth itchy. I did my parenting when I was a kid (my little sisters were much younger), and they didn't turn out so well. And I damn sure don't want to inflict my genes on somebody. Nope, it's best for all concerned if what little nurturing energy I have is directed toward helping people with their cat health problems. :ohwell:

*raises hand* I am divorced, but was married for 20 years. I'm 43, and while I sometimes wondered if I wanted children now and again, ultimately I don't. I adore my nieces, I work with children as my occupation, I mentor a sixth grader, and I love children. I just am happy not to have any of my own!

ya for choice! never wanted kids and find them to be horrible little creatures. yes yes, im sure yours are wonderful.

Agreed! To have kids or not to have kids a your own choice. Just don't use it as an excuse (having them or not having them) for things.

I hear this often, that people who don't have kids can take on things that people with kids just can't do, such as working more, working extra hours, helping out other people, etc.

People are quoting others from Nov 2012. I don't think they will respond.

I am almost 25, my best friend from kindergarten never wanted kids and honestly, I am glad she is smart enough to recognize this and not listen to people try to force her. She gets really uncomfortable around her 4 year old brother, and just doesn't have the desire or the right personality.

She is a great person, but she leads a lifestyle that I feel no child should really be a part of. Not that I am trying to judge, but she is a pretty big partier, and very promiscuous, as well as extremely hostile with authority. She isn't the mommy type which never made her bad, just different than some of the other people we know.

I personally really want kids, but it's all good.

Not trying to judge at all.

I am 27 years old, happily married to the cutest ball of pup in the world, and for the life of me, I can't remember a time when I did not want to have kids. I think this was even a conscious decision when I was still a kid. Back then, it was "You have plenty of time to change your mind." Now it's "Children are a blessing and you'd make a wonderful mother. You should absolutely do it."

To this day, nobody has dented my decision. My mother has four granddaughters, an unknown on the way, and a strong prayer that my remaining sister won't make any big announcements any time soon. She has stopped asking. My mother-in-law has a granddaughter who's about to get married and three grandsons. I don't think she's ever asked.

I look at my parents, who only had kids to save their marriage and failed horribly. I look at my best friend who, thanks to shoddy health care, spent three days in labor, nearly died, and will have to bear her daughter's birth defects for the rest of her life. I look at my neighbor, whose adult daughter beat her repeatedly and whose son will never again know a life without suffering. I look out at society, at the things they do to children in the name of love that cause nothing but scars.

People try to convince me that there is no greater love than that of a parent for a child. I can see no greater pain.

As a kid I always said I never wanted any. I was a tomboy with short hair, I played with legos rather than dolls and I played soccer (which back then was a boy sport, I played in an all-boy team for several years till I was about 13, since there simply weren't any girl teams)

I'm 32 now. I'm not 100% sure anymore. Right now I'm okay with it if it doesn't happen, but if it would (as in not planned) I'd be okay with that too. The thought doesn't scare me like I used to, because I'm sure things would work out and that I'm capable of being a parent. That said I don't know if we're consciously going to make that choice in the future. At this point no.

Anyway so meanwhile everyone around us is having kids. And for some reason people always feel the need to inform when I'm going to. I just say 'never' like I always have because I don't think it's anyone's business. Of course I also get asked why. I just shrug and change the subject. I don't understand why people feel the need to ask such a personal question. I'm pretty sure if I answered honestly like above, they'd start asking me if I've gotten to that to that point yet or maybe even if we're trying yet (and all of the related joking).

A cousin of mine a few years younger than me just had her first and they always said kids weren't in the plan. It wasn't, but it happened anyway. So I visited them to see the baby and first thing they ask me is when I'm going to. Hello? I remember they used to be equally annoyed as me when that question was asked at family events. I felt so uneasy because my parents were there too and I know they'd love to have grandkids (although they never ever commented or questioned me about it) and my dad looked a bit disappointed. He then actually said they were hoping for an "accident". Gee thanks dad lol.

On the other side I have my mother-in-law who commented that she didn't care for having grandkids. Well lady it's not up to you to make that decision. She has 4 kids so odds are there will be some eventually.

I never really think anything about people who want kids or don't, in the sense of them being selfish or not. Maybe because I grew up in a family were a few aunts/uncles made that choice and they were never selfish or such.

newmeadow wrote: »

Parents tend to discuss people and only people.

Not really.

newmeadow wrote: »

Clever_User_Name wrote: »

newmeadow wrote: »

147Me wrote: »

I'm 43 and have never had children. It was my choice not to - a choice I gave an abundant amount of thought to.

Like many of the other stories in this thread, I've experienced my fair share of prejudice from people who have kids.

It is sometimes difficult to find a place within female groups because the conversation always seems to revolve around their experience as mothers.

Sure, I get it. Parents talk about their kids because their children are the most important part of their lives. The world is pro-family place.

For me, the most difficult part of my choice is finding other childfree middle-aged adults to make friends with.

So, if you're childfree and reading this, add me as a friend. I promise, I won't go on and on about my kids.

Child free folk are better conversationalists by far, that's for sure.

I disagree with that.

There are always exceptions. There are some true intellectuals who are parents and they are able to discuss ideas or events. Parents tend to discuss people and only people.

Huh???

kroe4 wrote: »

hud54014 wrote: »

Prior to today, the last post on this thread was October 2013, two years before I had my first kid, and when I thought I didn't want kids. Now I have 2 and still want all the babies.

It makes me wonder if any of these people who didn't want children in 2012 have children now.

Statistically speaking, I'd say there are least a few of them that had bad pull out game.

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I'm 33, married 2 years (together 5 years) and I have never wanted kids, for as long as I can remember. I remember as an undergrad telling my friends I didn't think I wanted to have any kids and they were always like "oh you'll change your mind, we're just young now". But nope, just not my thing. My husband's older, and has a couple kids from a former marriage, so we're all good just the way we are.

I live in N. Texas currently (not from here, hate it here actually), so a lot of people here ask me when we're having kids, and it's really f'ing annoying. I don't know if it can penetrate the minds of these Texans that some women CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE KIDS for no other reason than WE DON'T WANT ANY KIDS.