The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I like that response Jen! When we took our road trip to California over the weekend my son in law kept wanting me to drink,saying it was my birthday,I should have fun,etc,,I just told him i went there TO have fun,NOT be all sweaty,tired and grouchville the next day(like he ended up being haha) Ruby,do you think the trip will be easy? I hope so,back in May I went to visit my family and I thought I was strong but ended up drinking,,,a lot,I'm sure you'll be fine though you seem like you're in a good headspace,have a great day all!2
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@whitpauly I think I will try to have fun and I do know for sure I won't be drinking . I'm determined to stay the AF. I hope I don't get annoyed with the drinkers however; some of them repeat themselves a lot BUT so did I. 😊 I'll make the best of it and I think I'll gain willpower muscle and more pride in myself. Since I declined staying for two nights, l only be on the boat and island for 24 hours.5
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3 weekends have gone by since my first post on here and I’m still sober! Even poured my half empty bottle of vodka down the sink. I could of given it away but, pouring it out felt better. Been definitely feeling a lot better and enjoying my weekends more without the worry of a hangover. Anxiety still pops up every now and then but hopefully it goes away with time. 🙂8
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RubyRed427 wrote: »@whitpauly I think I will try to have fun and I do know for sure I won't be drinking . I'm determined to stay the AF. I hope I don't get annoyed with the drinkers however; some of them repeat themselves a lot BUT so did I. 😊 I'll make the best of it and I think I'll gain willpower muscle and more pride in myself. Since I declined staying for two nights, l only be on the boat and island for 24 hours.
This is excellent Ruby,,following my May drinking trip to visit family we also went in July,I purposely made it a one day trip just to be safe cuz I honestly wanted to see my family and remember each detail,the one day sober trip seemed to last longer than the few day drink visit and I remember it all,not bits and pieces so yep a win!3 -
Nice observation : Last night, I was at my AA book club which is literally 20 min. Walk away from my house. (That’s a coincidence )
So, I get a lot of steps there and back which is a good thing. We sit around a big table and read the book and discuss. Anyway, I was sitting there and I noticed that all the ladies around the table had such lovely skin. It took me awhile to realize, duh, they all don’t drink, hence their skin isn’t red or dehydrated or aged from alcohol consumption. It’s a silly observation, but it made me smile.5 -
@whipauly We think alike. I think for now, we have to do what’s best for US. So, if we think we can stay at a function for a shorter period of time, we should. The others will not even notice or miss us, if we leave a party early or whatever. I think in early sobriety, it’s ok to be a little selfish and think about ourself, so we stay strong. Xo5
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@Kenni94 Bravo! So happy for you! I poured out some alcohol, too. Down the drain it went. I think the anxiety will lessen with time as your brain readjusts.1
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When someone asks me why I don't drink anymore, I say, "I actually just kind of lost my taste for it." Who can argue with that? No one is going to tell you to eat or drink something you don't "like" anymore, right? People usually just nod or say "oh!" and that is the end of it.
Great idea Jen! I like that reason- it’s short and sweet. And non-negotionable.
Also, remember my sister would say in the beginning “ I have a bleeding ulcer.” People shut up right away.
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I've noticed I've been replacing alcohol with food. When i'm out with everyone and they're all drinking, I find something that'll distract me from wanting a drink, and that will make me as equally happy as having one, so I turn to food. And when you're out at a bar or sports pub, etc. the food choices aren't the healthiest. I need to figure something else out, or maybe I just need to acknowledge that i'm not ready to be around those social scenes until I get more comfortable with the idea of not drinking and don't feel the need to replace its absence with food.4
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OK, y'all I need to vent. I'm looking for a job. It doesn't have to pay the professional salary I left in May. It just needs to be reasonable and a job I find at least somewhat fulfilling. I had what I thought was my "dream job" back in May, but it fell through in a bizarre way. No need to elaborate. This weekend, I saw an ad for another "dream job" and applied. It was perfect for me and I am perfect for it. This morning I received an email asking me to choose a time for a web interview with HR tomorrow, which I did. I got a thank you and a confirmation of the interview. I've been so excited all day! Then, about 2 hours ago, I got another email saying that the interview is cancelled because the position has been filled. Man! I was SO despondent. I decided the Universe just enjoys playing cruel tricks on me, the whole nine yards. I've talked myself down somewhat and even sent applications for 2 more jobs. I'm frustrated because I'm very talented and qualified, but I'm also 62, so that's a thing. The age didn't matter for these "dream jobs," so I know there are some out there for which my age might even be a benefit, but I'm still frustrated. But the main thing is . . . I WANT A DRINK SO BADLY!!!! Today is Day 43, and I've been enjoying sobriety, but right now it sucks. I want a big glass of vodka and Perrier, or a big glass of wine. I'm angry that I can't have it. I'm mad at myself for starting this whole sober thing. I don't think I'll drink, but I'm not sure. Just thought I'd vent to people who understand. ARGGGGHHH!9
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3 weekends have gone by since my first post on here and I’m still sober! Even poured my half empty bottle of vodka down the sink. I could of given it away but, pouring it out felt better. Been definitely feeling a lot better and enjoying my weekends more without the worry of a hangover. Anxiety still pops up every now and then but hopefully it goes away with time. 🙂
YAY on the 3 weekends AF!! I can relate to the good feeling of pouring alcohol down the drain. I thought about the $$ I was "wasting" & debated about giving it away until I realized I'd be giving my friends poison, SO down the drain it went. THAT action of opening the bottles & watching & smelling them as they disappeared down the drain was empowering & I knew then I was serious about being AF. Nice to see someone else make that commitment too.
As for the anxiety, Craig Beck & Annie Grace are a good resource to help deal with varying feelings that may surface after giving up the drink. Worth checking out.
@RubyRed427 I am excited to hear how well you did & how much fun you had on your trips...You've got this!! Seems weird to be talking in the past tense before it happens, but that is how confident I am that you will conquer!
@JenT304 Simple is better. Like you said, "who can argue with that."1 -
@donimfp We must have cross posted...I saw you were posting when I was writing mine. My
goes out to you. I don't really know what to say other than I think if you do cave & drink then you will have 2 big disappointments to face tomorrow; the position that was filled AND caving to the craving.
I know you will kick yourself if you drink. WE will all still support you no matter what. I really hope you can somehow distract yourself...how many seconds/mins does a craving last?4 -
CONGRATS TO ALL !!! AF living can be achieved...JUST REMEBER....ON DAY AT A TIME....that's how to approach it...IT DUZ WORK....U KAN LIVE THAT LIFESTYLE AS U'VE CHOSEN TO LIVE A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE...WHAT A PERFECT MARRIAGE.......(27yrs AF)6
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OK, y'all I need to vent. I'm looking for a job. It doesn't have to pay the professional salary I left in May. It just needs to be reasonable and a job I find at least somewhat fulfilling. I had what I thought was my "dream job" back in May, but it fell through in a bizarre way. No need to elaborate. This weekend, I saw an ad for another "dream job" and applied. It was perfect for me and I am perfect for it. This morning I received an email asking me to choose a time for a web interview with HR tomorrow, which I did. I got a thank you and a confirmation of the interview. I've been so excited all day! Then, about 2 hours ago, I got another email saying that the interview is cancelled because the position has been filled. Man! I was SO despondent. I decided the Universe just enjoys playing cruel tricks on me, the whole nine yards. I've talked myself down somewhat and even sent applications for 2 more jobs. I'm frustrated because I'm very talented and qualified, but I'm also 62, so that's a thing. The age didn't matter for these "dream jobs," so I know there are some out there for which my age might even be a benefit, but I'm still frustrated. But the main thing is . . . I WANT A DRINK SO BADLY!!!! Today is Day 43, and I've been enjoying sobriety, but right now it sucks. I want a big glass of vodka and Perrier, or a big glass of wine. I'm angry that I can't have it. I'm mad at myself for starting this whole sober thing. I don't think I'll drink, but I'm not sure. Just thought I'd vent to people who understand. ARGGGGHHH!
I am so sorry! I remember your dream job that was supposed to start I think in August? Well, anyways, I’m so sorry. You are strong- you worked so hard for this sobriety. Don’t ruin it now. Day 1 always sucks. Tomorrow morning, the sun will rise and you will be sooooo happy you didn’t stumble.
Eat something sweet! Chocolate ! Something to soothe you.1 -
Sippin_on_gym_n_juice wrote: »I've noticed I've been replacing alcohol with food. When i'm out with everyone and they're all drinking, I find something that'll distract me from wanting a drink, and that will make me as equally happy as having one, so I turn to food. And when you're out at a bar or sports pub, etc. the food choices aren't the healthiest. I need to figure something else out, or maybe I just need to acknowledge that i'm not ready to be around those social scenes until I get more comfortable with the idea of not drinking and don't feel the need to replace its absence with food.
Me, too. I think that’s why I haven’t lost any weight since I quit. I have been telling myself I can eat that sweet or snack because at least I’m not drinking. I feel for you. I understand.1 -
@donimfp,I'm so sorry the position was filled but who knows maybe that person won't work out or maybe it was an error,big hugs to you,all I can offer is I know when I drink I feel out of control of my life,,this job not working out is outta your control but staying sober is in your control! Of course we'll be here for you no matter what On the food thing,yes I've took been turning to food but honestly I don't really care ATM as long as I don't drink,I still eat healthyish most of the time and get my exercise in,,if I were drinking I'd either not be eating or eating grease crap,not getting in any exercise and just being a dehydrated couch potato. 4
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Also @donimfp i wanted to say that in all my many,many quits the days 40+ seem to be some of the hardest craving times,not sure why but there's an article in The Fix(online addiction magazine) called the 100 day hangover it kind of explains PAWS and how we can feel worse before we feel better1
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@donimfp It helps to vent and let out the disappointment you’re feeling. I understand I am 70 and have worked for myself since my mid fifties since I was an overweight alcoholic at the time. The job search process was much different then and interviews were in person then.
What you’re saying though is I am angry and disappointed and I want to punish myself for what happened and it wasn’t your fault so don’t punish yourself as difficult as it may be.
The upside is you’ll feel good about yourself tomorrow morning and avoid the pounding headache that would come from that vodka6 -
i often find that exercising really really hard makes me feel better than a bottle of wine ever did. and then if you want to drink after you have the extra calories (if you are going the moderation route) 1
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Thanks for listening, friends. I've never realized just how valuable this thread is until last night. So, I didn't drink. I have been eating super, duper clean since I went AF July 31, so my weight has been steadily dropping. I didn't want to substitute stuffing my face for drinking, either, although Cheetos would have been better than vodka. So, I had a nice piece of zucchini bread I had made yesterday, intending to give it all to an ailing friend (now he'll get half) and guzzled enough San Pellegrino to float a battleship. That filled me up. The scale stayed put this morning, and I have no hangover. Still kind of bitter about the job thing, but I'm learning patience, I hope.
All your comments helped so much, particularly reminding me that I didn't want a "Day One" today instead of Day 44. And the reminder that drinking would just be harming/punishing myself. And the very sweet reminder that y'all would still be here for me even if I had chosen to drink. But Lord I missed it last night. Have a good day, everyone.11 -
When I am tempted to drink, (like today...I'm feeling sort of depressed) I remind myself how much I hate day 1. Hate hate hate starting over. Plus it is a depressant and it is NOT going to make me feel better once it wears off. Stay strong, Friends. And for anyone in the path of this hurricane, my thoughts are with you. Stay safe.8
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Here are some incentives to stay strong I hope: today I got my lab results back--first time I am under 200 for cholesterol reading in like 10 years I think. Trigylcerides are in the normal range for the first time in how long I don't know. I have been wanting to drink lately for a number of reasons, but there is no way. Has drinking helped me lose weight? No. It has also helped me eat junk to contribute to the high numbers in the past lab results. Last week I got rid of one rotten client and the ax is dropping on the second one soon. Maybe tomorrow. Were they helping my cortisol level? No. Were they helping me to stress eat? Yes. Were they helping me to want to drink with the anxiety, sleeplessness and then depresssion? Yes. My health is more important. Have to find more work and other work. I am looking for a knitting project to reduce stress at night and a good easy read book. Maybe winne the Pooh will do, lol. Almost 8 months sober and no matter how depressed I have been about dad passing and my son and and and and............I am still happier than I ever was with alcohol. Hang in there my friends!!9
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The dropping of needing the sweets as much, does happen. Sometimes it returns, but overall it is way less. I still think it is better to have it than to drink. I have been dropping some weight lately finally. I also had to keep cleaning up my diet more and more as I could tolerate it. Maybe probiotics would help as well, i just heard, to get rid of sugar cravings more?3
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@salleewins Great inspiring post. Sending you a big hug. Xo2
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TO ALL!!!! 3
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Last night I went over to my daughter's place to babysit my 2 grand daughters. I had brought a glass of iced tea with me. When I walked in with it she said, "what's that?" and I told her it was iced tea and she said, "oh that looks good, can I taste it?" I strongly suspect that SHE was wondering if there was booze in it. Of course I told her she could try it but I did not mention my suspicions of her motive. I did not want to embarrass either one of us. It makes me sad that she felt the need to do this but it is my own fault of setting a poor example while she was growing up. Of course I would never dream of drinking while watching those precious children. I have not "announced" my sobriety...it's still too new, and full disclosure, I did have ONE glass of wine last week, the first time in a long time. Anyway to those of you that are still raising your kids, they see everything. I regret not being a better example.9
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I regret not being a better example.
Me Too!! But it's never too late to set a good example now even though our children our grown, we can still be a better role model now than we were when they were growing And our grandkids can also benefit! When we KNOW better, we DO better. You're doing the best you can now! 5 -
@JenT304 We did the best we knew how at the time. We all have regrets. But it’s best to stay focused on now. It’s all we have. This moment.
I’m back from the islands. I had a 24 hour jaunt on a boat and bar hopping. Happy to report- I stayed AF. That was never in question. What was in question was would I have fun?
Friday night: we sat on the boat for hours, and they all drank, but we just chatted and laughed. Went bar hopping. One of our friends rode the electric bull. All were feeling buzzed. I had fun but to be honest probably would have enjoyed it much more with a few drinks BUT not the hangover. Did dance in a bar with everyone and could see how alcohol does loosen you up to dance. I will learn to enjoy these things again in due time.
Saturday: Ran a 5K with everyone. Of course, when I opened my eyes, I was so happy not to have any signs of a hangover!! Most of the others bounced up pretty well. One guy did appear very quiet and not jovial. Probably hungover. They all had Bloody Marys and couple beers after the race which is typical. I used to as well.
Overall, I enjoyed my time. It was perfect weather- warm and sunny. So, I learned yet again life is fun without alcohol. I felt proud of myself. No one asked me why I wasn’t drinking; I think one friend whispered to them I don't drink anymore. Everyone was very respectful. The sign of good friends. Plus the whole 24 hour getaway to a beautiful place was so good for the soul. Xo8 -
@RubyRed427, so glad you had a fun, relaxing weekend! You’re blazing the trail and I’m sure I’ll draw on your inspiration next time an alcohol-centered occasion comes along.5
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