Why did you come to the conclusion to lose weight?

I went to a work conference and was huffing and puffing while trying to keep up with my friends when we walked anywhere. I'm also absolutely miserable. I decided on the plane trip back that I would get back into a healthier lifestyle. So far so good.

I am 24 years old. I was in an unhealthy relationship for 3.5 years combined (we split up in August 2016, I moved home, we reconnected in March 2017). During those 7 months apart, I'd begun to work on myself by losing much of the weight I'd gained over the course of our relationship. When we decided to get back together, I instantly abandoned my healthy living habits out of convenience' sake, and because many of our disagreements ended with me going to pick up dinner as a way to comfort us and smooth things over. Within 4 months of moving back in with him, I'd gained back all the weight I'd lost during our time apart and then some, going from 168lbs to 203 (I'm 5'5"). In the year that followed, I continued to gain, topping out at 227.8lbs on August 18th, 2018. I'd known for years that I needed to lose the extra weight, but the past year really drove this home for me. I was out of shape, sweaty, busting out of most of my clothes, and depressed. Between the struggles of my relationship and trying to adjust to a new job, I was miserable. My journey restarted on 8/18 and I have lost nearly 23lbs since then. This morning I weighed in at 205lbs and plan to get back down to 145.

About a month into this process, in mid-September, my boyfriend and I broke up amicably and I again returned home. It was obvious throughout the entire relationship that we were incompatible, but we both forced ourselves to stick with it out of comfort and fear of being alone. After moving out, I ramped up my weight loss efforts by taking up running (thanks to the movie "From Fat to Finish Line" for the initial inspiration!). I also sought help for the obsessive-compulsive disorder I've lived with since my mid-teens, which became worse following the stress of my breakup. I'm looking forward to my college graduation in April (associate's degree) and would like to purchase a house in the next couple years while I continue my education.

Despite the gloominess I've felt about the end of my relationship and being single again, I also feel an incredible sense of freedom. Though he was my best friend, my ex was very controlling at times. For instance, I put off joining the gym for years because he didn't agree with my choice to join, saying that I should put the time into housework or doing physical tasks around the house to get active instead. I always felt on edge and could never truly open up to him, as it seemed like he'd take a negative attitude toward anything I said. Plus, I love affection and always wished he felt the same, which he did not. To this day I tell myself that yes, while I lost a friend, I did not truly lose a boyfriend because our relationship lacked intimacy and love. While I try not to blame him for my weight gain during our time together (I know I'm the only one who can control what I eat), I do feel I caved more often than I should have due to arguments, stress, and overall dissatisfaction, using food as a comfort. My biggest challenge will be maintaining my healthy habits in future relationships, especially since I would like to have children down the road.

So I guess my answer to the original question would be...I began losing weight to get my life back. I lost 70lbs during my senior year of high school and kept it off for a couple years before this whole situation began, and I feel like my leaner, active self was the "true" me. I want to return to this.

My pants are tight and I'm too broke to buy more. It's either lose weight or go naked this winter. 😂