What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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Also, not having that constant thought in the back of your mind that says “the person you’re talking to thinks you’re a pitiable fat woman.”26
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workinonit1956 wrote: »
Their eyes just kinda glaze over....pretty soon you are talking to yourself lol.huntersmom2016 wrote: »that people who notice your obvious weight loss will undoubtedly ask you how you did it. when you tell them by counting calories and exercising they actually look disappointed like they were expecting some divine miraculous secret.
exactly!!!!!3 -
MaggieGirl135 wrote: »I really want a divine miraculous secret!
don't we all lol5 -
That even though you get to your goal weight, you might not be happy like you think you will be.
I found that my goal weight shifted downwards, as I wasn't happy with my result... sadly, I didn't look quite the same at that weight as I had done ten years previously
I should've started strength training earlier in the process, and in earnest 19 -
That even if you've lost a significant amount of weight but are still overweight, people you don’t know still treat you like you’re less than them.23
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VanVanDiane wrote: »That even though you get to your goal weight, you might not be happy like you think you will be.
I found that my goal weight shifted downwards, as I wasn't happy with my result... sadly, I didn't look quite the same at that weight as I had done ten years previously I should've started strength training earlier in the process, and in earnest
Well you won't. You're 10 years older now. I won't look like I did 10 years ago either. Losing weight doesn't make aging go away. But, saying that, better to be in shape NOW. The next best thing to doing it in the past is DOING IT TODAY.15 -
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kenyonhaff wrote: »VanVanDiane wrote: »That even though you get to your goal weight, you might not be happy like you think you will be.
I found that my goal weight shifted downwards, as I wasn't happy with my result... sadly, I didn't look quite the same at that weight as I had done ten years previously I should've started strength training earlier in the process, and in earnest
Well you won't. You're 10 years older now. I won't look like I did 10 years ago either. Losing weight doesn't make aging go away. But, saying that, better to be in shape NOW. The next best thing to doing it in the past is DOING IT TODAY.
I know... I meant that even at the same weight my body now carries fat differently (I.e. In my middle) so I needed to adjust my goal downwards.
Now if someone can just invent a way to make ageing go away... where's that divine miraculous secret when we need it? Or One Weird Tip?
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@VanVanDiane I think the alternative to aging is way worse than aging. (Maybe because I am 60) While I like to think I look good, I obviously do not look the same as when I was 30 or 40. I do, however feel way better than I have since I was in my late teens/early 20s.25
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I’m very confused...what’s the alternative to ageing? Did you mean you prefer being older than younger?@VanVanDiane I think the alternative to aging is way worse than aging. (Maybe because I am 60) While I like to think I look good, I obviously do not look the same as when I was 30 or 40. I do, however feel way better than I have since I was in my late teens/early 20s.
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TheRedQueen1981 wrote: »
I’m very confused...what’s the alternative to ageing? Did you mean you prefer being older than younger?@VanVanDiane I think the alternative to aging is way worse than aging. (Maybe because I am 60) While I like to think I look good, I obviously do not look the same as when I was 30 or 40. I do, however feel way better than I have since I was in my late teens/early 20s.
The alternative to aging is dying ....... so that is "way worse" 24 -
I love this thread! Started reading it from the first page about a month ago- finally finished it!
I agree with so much of what I've read I'll have to think and hopefully have something original to post!
What I've noticed is how politically correct so many people I know are and they almost look timid and scared when they bring up the subject of my weight loss! I've had so many comments in the past few weeks it's like co-workers/colleagues and acquaintances were possibly waiting and wondering if I'm unwell or maybe unsure whether they should say something or not.
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That you will hear from so many wonderful people (friends, neighbors and family) how beautiful you look (vs. asking you about weight loss). I've noticed now about at LEAST a dozen people in the past couple of weeks have exclaimed how beautiful I look instead of asking me ANYTHING about weight loss. What's funny is at least 90% of the people commenting on my weight loss have literally used the word "Beautiful" to me. a few people have happily used the words "you're looking slim and good". Amazing, because I've been anticipating people asking me about it (weight "loss")--but NOPE, only super enthusiastic smiles, hugs and again, folk telling me how very beautiful I look. It's like they never saw me obese or overweight. How darling and wonderful/FULL of wonder this is! Also, I've been anticipating people telling me I've lost enough or I need to stop. NOPE, not one person or time have I heard that--YAY!
Also, many former obese and overweight people still see themselves as looking "fat". Not me AT ALL, I see myself looking like a "slim-goodie" as we used to say in the 1970's. I see myself not only looking slim and trim, but younger too--BOOM!20 -
huntersmom2016 wrote: »that people who notice your obvious weight loss will undoubtedly ask you how you did it. when you tell them by counting calories and exercising they actually look disappointed like they were expecting some divine miraculous secret.workinonit1956 wrote: »
Their eyes just kinda glaze over....pretty soon you are talking to yourself lol.huntersmom2016 wrote: »that people who notice your obvious weight loss will undoubtedly ask you how you did it. when you tell themhuntersmom2016 wrote: »that people who notice your obvious weight loss will undoubtedly ask you how you did it. when you tell them by counting calories and exercising they actually look disappointed like they were expecting some divine miraculous secret.
counting calories and exercising they actually look disappointed like they were expecting some divine miraculous secret.
Guessing that if you just ask back "how do you think I lost weight?", or "how would you lose weight?"
That they would give an answer very close to what you did.
Whatever their answer, you would be able to frame yours accordingly but Probably your response will just be- "Yep, that’s what I did!"
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NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »"I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns. "
This makes me feel more normal to hear someone else who has thought in these terms too. I have avoided purple because I'll be the McDonald's Grimace. I avoided red because I'd be the Kool Aid Man, and I always visualized smashing through walls shouting "ooohhh yeah" just like him.
We can wear different colors. Yes, thanks for this insight5 -
some of my friends keeps saying diet is everything, or diet is more important than exercising. but the truth is, exercising and diet are both very important. i've noticed a lot of the people i've met that says those two things are usually people that relies on momentum for every rep and not actually putting their muscles to do any work. they just stand in front of the dumbbell rack, rock their body back and forth, and swing the dumbbells like 20-30 times uncontrollably. months later they complain about no results and give up. sometimes i don't blame them because most of them don't have proper guidance, their personal trainer is terrible, or they've been misinformed by their other friends.
so usually i just tell them:
a bunch of bad quality reps + diet = no results, need to actually do enough damage to muscle and tendon fibers so the body will use the food/nutrients to repair and regrow the fibers instead of storing it as fat.
quality reps + bad diet = can't out train a bad diet
quality reps + proper diet = massive gains and results14 -
NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »"I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns. "
This makes me feel more normal to hear someone else who has thought in these terms too. I have avoided purple because I'll be the McDonald's Grimace. I avoided red because I'd be the Kool Aid Man, and I always visualized smashing through walls shouting "ooohhh yeah" just like him.
We can wear different colors. Yes, thanks for this insight
I avoided purple so I didn't look like Barney! And big belts after hubby joked when I'd first gained weight 8 years ago that I looked like Santa 😮10 -
No one told me how confusing clothes shopping would be. What looks good when obese does not look good on a size 6 (not even a little bit), even my old hair styles look odd on a smaller frame. Also, the whole world of nearly every store carrying your size can be a bit overwhelming.19
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I avoided purple so I didn't look like Barney! And big belts after hubby joked when I'd first gained weight 8 years ago that I looked like Santa 😮
{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}} Girllllllll....I so relate to wearing purple and "feeling" like I looked Barney in purple--I NEVER wore purple, because I saw mself as looking like Barney too. I now rock all colors, and especially love purple now!6 -
NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »"I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns. "
This makes me feel more normal to hear someone else who has thought in these terms too. I have avoided purple because I'll be the McDonald's Grimace. I avoided red because I'd be the Kool Aid Man, and I always visualized smashing through walls shouting "ooohhh yeah" just like him.We can wear different colors. Yes, thanks for this insight
Thank you ever so much for this reply...WOW, it's amazing how one perceives things. Your post so made me smile--because it's so NICE to know one is not alone in their way of thinking/believing.
{{{{ Hugs}}}}
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No one told me that I would be afraid to go into stores. Afraid that the ladies would be side-eyeing me wonder if I really belonged in that store. No one told me that clothes shopping could be just as traumatic at a smaller size as it had at larger, only being mostly in my head. I'm sure no one is paying attention to me, but... BUT MAYBE THEY ARE.
No one told me I'd still encounter a store not having my size... except the other way around. Not enough smaller sizes and some of the things I wanted only came in a size that was too large.
I still can't bring myself to shop by myself like an adult because I'm afraid it will be an epic failure. I stare in stores like they are an impossibility. Someday, I hope to cross this mental hurdle.27 -
allmannerofthings wrote: »NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
Oh yes, very much so. And patterns too! I refuse to buy black now. I am buying purple and red and whatever colours and patterns seem lively and cheerful.
Well, I still do like wearing black, a lot...but now embrace all kinds of colors and patterns that before would just be a turn-off to me. No more, I'm so GLAD of that too!!!5 -
You will find yourself "blame-shifting" less. When I was obese and overweight for years and years, I blamed almost everyone and everything for my problems (including God Himself) and especially for my being obese for almost 20 years straight (when almost 100% of the people around me were slim and trim). Wow
it was/felt/seemed like it was everyone else's fault for me being in the position/circumstances and YUCK in my mind/body/spirit/life that I was in and really, was "in" me. Such a counter-productive, negative, depressing, SELFISH/SELF ABSORBED and time wasting long period of my life that was--SO GLAD to understand and behave like everyday is TRULY a new day/new start and new opportunity to get better instead of and resisting getting/being bitter--YUCK! During this LONG process of letting go of the excess in my life (including excess body fat/flab), came an "owning" of sorts of my issues. Once I humbled myself and "owned" my problems--BOOM! All kinds of fabulous changes in my life and body began happening. I find myself now that I am no longer obese or overweight, not being as quick to "judge" and playing the dastardly blame-game anymore. I "catch" myself "going there" more quickly, now that I'm slimmer and trimmer. It's strange and wonderful at the same time! 18 -
- The jealously/self disappointment that awakens in others when you are getting happier, healthier and losing weight. It takes effort and when they are too lazy to put it in, they just try to put down those that are making that effort.
- As others have said, the bones. I love feeling my ribs and pelvis in bed. Seeing my ribs above my breasts in the mirror is also pretty awesome.
- Being seen as a slim person. I went and got new bras the other day as my old ones were just way too loose. went from a 36G to a 32G. The lady who checked my fitting said I was petite in the band area. Never been refereed to as petite before. I don't even care that my cup size also went down. Went swimming the day after in a size 12 costume. I was 16 before. I looked awesome.
- A negative I'd have to say is the loose skin. It's not much, I wasn't obese before, but I notice it mostly around the arms, armpit, chest kind of area. Sure it'll clear up with time though as I do IF.
- Also one thing I don't tell people face to face would be the impact a new diet has on the digestive system. I ate mostly carbs and meat before. At most a couple small veg or fruit things in a week. New diet cut all processed food, high carb foods, sugar and added lots of veggies and higher healthy fat content. I didn't have a bowel movement for a month. No feelings to go or discomfort in that time. When it did happen it was a small amount. But I soon became regular again. Pretty much, change your diet and your gut flora takes a while to change to better suit it.
And just to note, the sizes mentioned are UK sizing.18 -
dhiammarath wrote: »No one told me that I would be afraid to go into stores. Afraid that the ladies would be side-eyeing me wonder if I really belonged in that store. No one told me that clothes shopping could be just as traumatic at a smaller size as it had at larger, only being mostly in my head. I'm sure no one is paying attention to me, but... BUT MAYBE THEY ARE.
No one told me I'd still encounter a store not having my size... except the other way around. Not enough smaller sizes and some of the things I wanted only came in a size that was too large.
I still can't bring myself to shop by myself like an adult because I'm afraid it will be an epic failure. I stare in stores like they are an impossibility. Someday, I hope to cross this mental hurdle.
Identify with this a fair bit!
Amazing how smaller sizes are sold out & when I shop for clothes I do think when I'm pulling out these items (that are less than half the size I used to need) that anyone nearby might be thinking "pffft, who's she trying to kid??" 😆
Do tend to feel like an imposter & even when the label says small or size 8/10/12 (pearshape!) I just tell myself it's vanity sizing.
My lovely hubs says "It probably IS vanity sizing...you should've just squished yourself into these clothes when you were a size 22, no need to have lost any weight cos...they aren't REALLY those sizes 😏"
Fair point babe...fair point 🤣
We'll both get there on our collective emotional rollercoasters...we always do in the end, right? ❤️13 -
dhiammarath wrote: »No one told me that I would be afraid to go into stores. Afraid that the ladies would be side-eyeing me wonder if I really belonged in that store. No one told me that clothes shopping could be just as traumatic at a smaller size as it had at larger, only being mostly in my head. I'm sure no one is paying attention to me, but... BUT MAYBE THEY ARE.
No one told me I'd still encounter a store not having my size... except the other way around. Not enough smaller sizes and some of the things I wanted only came in a size that was too large.
I still can't bring myself to shop by myself like an adult because I'm afraid it will be an epic failure. I stare in stores like they are an impossibility. Someday, I hope to cross this mental hurdle.
All the time!!!!! "Oh this is a cute top....let's see the sizes....XXL, XL, L, L,......nope no smalls grrrrt"
I get the added bonus of being very small chested aka women's blouses have too much boob rooom now.
My advice: ask an associate for help, they'll help you figure out what actually looks good on you.3 -
I’m encountering a lot of “no smalls” also. I see I’m not alone.5
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@Vonny198334 -- I think so much that surely there's no way what I fit into is ACTUALLY the size on the garment. (Which isn't helped by the fact that in another store, that same size won't fit. Either one way or the other). Someday, I'll see this new me... Someday! You're right, we will get there!
@VUA21 -- I have the opposite problem. Ahem, lots on top but a narrow ribcage. So it's either too big to fit the top and makes me look heavier or fits and is too, ah, tight and makes me look awkward. So shirts are kind of hit and miss. For now, mediums seem to be a nice compromise. Not too baggy around the arms and waist, but not skin tight across the top as smalls can sometimes be. A quality sales associate can help you find things tailored to your shape!5 -
Vonny198334 wrote: »dhiammarath wrote: »No one told me that I would be afraid to go into stores. Afraid that the ladies would be side-eyeing me wonder if I really belonged in that store. No one told me that clothes shopping could be just as traumatic at a smaller size as it had at larger, only being mostly in my head. I'm sure no one is paying attention to me, but... BUT MAYBE THEY ARE.
No one told me I'd still encounter a store not having my size... except the other way around. Not enough smaller sizes and some of the things I wanted only came in a size that was too large.
I still can't bring myself to shop by myself like an adult because I'm afraid it will be an epic failure. I stare in stores like they are an impossibility. Someday, I hope to cross this mental hurdle.
Identify with this a fair bit!
Amazing how smaller sizes are sold out & when I shop for clothes I do think when I'm pulling out these items (that are less than half the size I used to need) that anyone nearby might be thinking "pffft, who's she trying to kid??" 😆
Do tend to feel like an imposter & even when the label says small or size 8/10/12 (pearshape!) I just tell myself it's vanity sizing.
My lovely hubs says "It probably IS vanity sizing...you should've just squished yourself into these clothes when you were a size 22, no need to have lost any weight cos...they aren't REALLY those sizes 😏"
Fair point babe...fair point 🤣
We'll both get there on our collective emotional rollercoasters...we always do in the end, right? ❤️Vonny198334 wrote: »dhiammarath wrote: »No one told me that I would be afraid to go into stores. Afraid that the ladies would be side-eyeing me wonder if I really belonged in that store. No one told me that clothes shopping could be just as traumatic at a smaller size as it had at larger, only being mostly in my head. I'm sure no one is paying attention to me, but... BUT MAYBE THEY ARE.
No one told me I'd still encounter a store not having my size... except the other way around. Not enough smaller sizes and some of the things I wanted only came in a size that was too large.
I still can't bring myself to shop by myself like an adult because I'm afraid it will be an epic failure. I stare in stores like they are an impossibility. Someday, I hope to cross this mental hurdle.
Identify with this a fair bit!
Amazing how smaller sizes are sold out & when I shop for clothes I do think when I'm pulling out these items (that are less than half the size I used to need) that anyone nearby might be thinking "pffft, who's she trying to kid??" 😆
Do tend to feel like an imposter & even when the label says small or size 8/10/12 (pearshape!) I just tell myself it's vanity sizing.
My lovely hubs says "It probably IS vanity sizing...you should've just squished yourself into these clothes when you were a size 22, no need to have lost any weight cos...they aren't REALLY those sizes 😏"
Fair point babe...fair point 🤣
We'll both get there on our collective emotional rollercoasters...we always do in the end, right? ❤️dhiammarath wrote: »No one told me that I would be afraid to go into stores. Afraid that the ladies would be side-eyeing me wonder if I really belonged in that store. No one told me that clothes shopping could be just as traumatic at a smaller size as it had at larger, only being mostly in my head. I'm sure no one is paying attention to me, but... BUT MAYBE THEY ARE.
No one told me I'd still encounter a store not having my size... except the other way around. Not enough smaller sizes and some of the things I wanted only came in a size that was too large.
I still can't bring myself to shop by myself like an adult because I'm afraid it will be an epic failure. I stare in stores like they are an impossibility. Someday, I hope to cross this mental hurdle.
Maybe for now you can order off of the internet? Most places have free returns and if you use a tape measure to measure yourself you should be able to get pretty accurate wig sizes1 -
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