What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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The stress on relationships is for real! After everything I’ve worked so hard for, my family took it the wrong way. When I visited and made a ton of healthy food, my parents took it as an insult. So frustrating!31
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@hmize202 you put in the effort. At the end of the day it's still is not our business how others eat.13
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Since the topic is about style and clothes my observation is about how my style has changed. I used to wear t-shirts most of the time, mainly because when my belly was bigger the bottom of the shirt used to come out, exposing the fat. Now I wear shirts 90 % of the time (when I'm not dressed for the gym or for running.) Now that I've lost the weight I feel I want to look as good as I feel.16
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How "breezy" your bottom would be while walking without all those thighs in the way!27
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You’ll do everything right and still not lose a single pound
Weight loss is a complicated beast sometimes. It’s determined by a lot of factors and influenced by things beyond our control. Even when you’re doing everything you’re supposed to be doing sometimes your body just ain’t gonna cooperate. I personally lost over 20 pounds and it was really hard, but luckily I documented my story on my blog, [removed by mod], you check it out. As well, there will be gains, losses and stalls. It’s disappointing to not see losses every single week, but if it was easy, more people would be doing it. It’s more than just intake and expenditure of calories. Things like genetics, other health issues, sleep, environment, menstrual cycle and stress can all stall your weight loss progress.2 -
SilverRose89 wrote: »I never really realised how much of an issue people can have when you say you are trying to lose some weight.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not making a big deal of it or telling everyone, but the fact that my routine has changed and I'm now occasionally busy at the gym on a Friday night instead of going to the pub and the fact that a couple of people have noticed a bit of a loss on me means that I've told a few people.
Nearly all of them have told me I don't need to lose any weight and that I'm just being silly. Especially friends who are bigger than me, sometimes from their response you'd think that I'd just called them a fatty and that they need to be at the gym instead of the pub. But I don't think this at all, I very much think that it comes down to your happiness and if you are happy, brilliant. I was not happy with my weight.
It's not like I don't look overweight either. I do. My BMI two months ago was 30.5. My waist measurement is 38". My hips 44"! My goal is only to get back into the 'healthy weight' range for my height. It is by no means extreme.
But yeah, sorry I rambled. I guess I just always thought that, because deciding to get on this journey can be so hard, people would be so much more supportive of it. Nobody told me that actually, not so much.
Omgosh, I have done this to my skinner friends. I didn't realize how rude I was being until now. My goal weight is 145 and current weight is 320. I have a long way to go. So when someone that needs to lose 5lbs or even 20lbs. I dont know, it just makes me feel like I'm so big and maybe even a little hopeless in the moment.
But Im working on it. My starting weight was 324 just a couple days ago. And I refuse to be like this anymore. And I won't tell my skinny friends anymore that they don't have to try because they are just skinny or anything along those lines.46 -
That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
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NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me laugh so hard because all my pants are black or gray. And a third of my shirts are pink (I was in a "F--it I am woman" mode working in a male dominated industry). I would have looked like a stuff elephant or piglet to you most of the time
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NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me so sad because it sounds like someone bullied you and called you awful names. Even if they didn't, you did to yourself. I'm glad you're losing weight, but I hope you see that you were always worthy of wearing any color you wanted no matter your size. What color looks good on you has nothing to do with poundage. And elephants, pigs, and bears are all wonderful intelligent creatures after all. Be kind to yourself, OK?23 -
kenyonhaff wrote: »NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me so sad because it sounds like someone bullied you and called you awful names. Even if they didn't, you did to yourself. I'm glad you're losing weight, but I hope you see that you were always worthy of wearing any color you wanted no matter your size. What color looks good on you has nothing to do with poundage. And elephants, pigs, and bears are all wonderful intelligent creatures after all. Be kind to yourself, OK?
What a kindhearted, beautiful and thought provoking reply {{{{
Hugs }}}}. I've always been my own harshest critic and my own worse enemy--always but especially when I was obese. I'm from a different/older generation that saw "bullying" different than they do today. No one bully me into that way I saw myself in these colors when I was obese/fat...as you rightly say, I did it to myself. I'm so GLAD that no matter how old I am, I continue to learn and apply what I'm learning to my mind/heart/spirit/life everyday--especially from lovely people like you. Thank you ever so very much for taking the time and care to post...you ROCK! 
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NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me laugh so hard because all my pants are black or gray. And a third of my shirts are pink (I was in a "F--it I am woman" mode working in a male dominated industry). I would have looked like a stuff elephant or piglet to you most of the time
I'm glad you got a hearty laugh from my post
Laughter is so, ummmm--fun--I LOVE laughing! I didn't see other obese people that way...just myself. Thanks so much for your reply!
ETA: My almost entire wardrobe was mainly black--most everything I wore in my obese days was black--just about everything, because black (in my mind) made me look/feel smaller. I also avoided white/beige like the plague back then too--I saw myself looking twice as big in white/beige as well. No more though.5 -
I basically lost 25.9kg/57lbs/4 stone all off my stomach, it made EVERYTHING easier! Especially doing my laces up lol 15
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NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
Oh yes, very much so. And patterns too! I refuse to buy black now. I am buying purple and red and whatever colours and patterns seem lively and cheerful.
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CharlieS96 wrote: »I basically lost 25.9kg/57lbs/4 stone all off my stomach, it made EVERYTHING easier! Especially doing my laces up lol
I'm so jealous. I've lost 38.8kg, but my stomach is still really big. Maybe when I get to my goal weight? (Healthy BMI is 9.6kg away, goal weight is another 20kg)2 -
NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
I'm kinda opposite right now. My old wardrobe had plenty of colours but now just about everything is black. On the positive side, my old clothes were all ones made for fat people and looked like it, now my clothes are much nicer styles. However the colours are oh so boring. I just was forced to buy a whole lot of clothes and spent as little as possible on them because they probably won't fit for long. Once I get to goal weight I hope to gradually improve my wardrobe.5 -
My wardrobe hasn't changed much. I pretty much live in relaxed T-shirts and sweatshirts, which are available in all kinds of colors and sizes and don't really have any lines or structures that need to be changed for a fat person. I can save myself the hassle of shopping by ordering online since they don't need to fit a certain way. They also tend to wear well even when a little big, so I don't buy new ones until I look like a toddler wearing adult clothes. My sense of fashion (or lack thereof) has served me well in weight loss.10
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That you can actually dress professionally.
I used to think that I was just a fundamentally messy person, and that it was something I was doing wrong that was preventing me from looking polished or professional.
Welp, I’ve been looking pretty sharp all week, and I’m still the same person. So now I’m just angry that ‘professional’ attire is so fundamentally sizeist and ableist. If you’re the right shape for ‘professional’ styles, you can look great; and if you’re NOT the right shape, the mismatch just becomes more and more apparent the larger you are.
How many of my assumptions about my own incapacities were because of things like this??!42 -
[/quote]
I'm kinda opposite right now. My old wardrobe had plenty of colours but now just about everything is black. On the positive side, my old clothes were all ones made for fat people and looked like it, now my clothes are much nicer styles. However the colours are oh so boring. I just was forced to buy a whole lot of clothes and spent as little as possible on them because they probably won't fit for long. Once I get to goal weight I hope to gradually improve my wardrobe. [/quote]
Charity/ second hand shops were made for this! Pic up tops for a couple of dollars and then when you shrink out of them donate them back!4 -
A positive one - shirt sleeves are the right length. I am slightly under 5'8" and when I wore L and XL, cuffs were always trying to creep up to my palms.8
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