You’ll do everything right and still not lose a single pound
Weight loss is a complicated beast sometimes. It’s determined by a lot of factors and influenced by things beyond our control. Even when you’re doing everything you’re supposed to be doing sometimes your body just ain’t gonna cooperate. I personally lost over 20 pounds and it was really hard, but luckily I documented my story on my blog, [removed by mod], you check it out. As well, there will be gains, losses and stalls. It’s disappointing to not see losses every single week, but if it was easy, more people would be doing it. It’s more than just intake and expenditure of calories. Things like genetics, other health issues, sleep, environment, menstrual cycle and stress can all stall your weight loss progress.
I never really realised how much of an issue people can have when you say you are trying to lose some weight.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not making a big deal of it or telling everyone, but the fact that my routine has changed and I'm now occasionally busy at the gym on a Friday night instead of going to the pub and the fact that a couple of people have noticed a bit of a loss on me means that I've told a few people.
Nearly all of them have told me I don't need to lose any weight and that I'm just being silly. Especially friends who are bigger than me, sometimes from their response you'd think that I'd just called them a fatty and that they need to be at the gym instead of the pub. But I don't think this at all, I very much think that it comes down to your happiness and if you are happy, brilliant. I was not happy with my weight.
It's not like I don't look overweight either. I do. My BMI two months ago was 30.5. My waist measurement is 38". My hips 44"! My goal is only to get back into the 'healthy weight' range for my height. It is by no means extreme.
But yeah, sorry I rambled. I guess I just always thought that, because deciding to get on this journey can be so hard, people would be so much more supportive of it. Nobody told me that actually, not so much.
Omgosh, I have done this to my skinner friends. I didn't realize how rude I was being until now. My goal weight is 145 and current weight is 320. I have a long way to go. So when someone that needs to lose 5lbs or even 20lbs. I dont know, it just makes me feel like I'm so big and maybe even a little hopeless in the moment.
But Im working on it. My starting weight was 324 just a couple days ago. And I refuse to be like this anymore. And I won't tell my skinny friends anymore that they don't have to try because they are just skinny or anything along those lines.
That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me laugh so hard because all my pants are black or gray. And a third of my shirts are pink (I was in a "F--it I am woman" mode working in a male dominated industry). I would have looked like a stuff elephant or piglet to you most of the time
That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me so sad because it sounds like someone bullied you and called you awful names. Even if they didn't, you did to yourself. I'm glad you're losing weight, but I hope you see that you were always worthy of wearing any color you wanted no matter your size. What color looks good on you has nothing to do with poundage. And elephants, pigs, and bears are all wonderful intelligent creatures after all. Be kind to yourself, OK?
That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me so sad because it sounds like someone bullied you and called you awful names. Even if they didn't, you did to yourself. I'm glad you're losing weight, but I hope you see that you were always worthy of wearing any color you wanted no matter your size. What color looks good on you has nothing to do with poundage. And elephants, pigs, and bears are all wonderful intelligent creatures after all. Be kind to yourself, OK?
What a kindhearted, beautiful and thought provoking reply {{{{ Hugs }}}}. I've always been my own harshest critic and my own worse enemy--always but especially when I was obese. I'm from a different/older generation that saw "bullying" different than they do today. No one bully me into that way I saw myself in these colors when I was obese/fat...as you rightly say, I did it to myself. I'm so GLAD that no matter how old I am, I continue to learn and apply what I'm learning to my mind/heart/spirit/life everyday--especially from lovely people like you. Thank you ever so very much for taking the time and care to post...you ROCK!
That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me laugh so hard because all my pants are black or gray. And a third of my shirts are pink (I was in a "F--it I am woman" mode working in a male dominated industry). I would have looked like a stuff elephant or piglet to you most of the time
I'm glad you got a hearty laugh from my post Laughter is so, ummmm--fun--I LOVE laughing! I didn't see other obese people that way...just myself. Thanks so much for your reply!
ETA: My almost entire wardrobe was mainly black--most everything I wore in my obese days was black--just about everything, because black (in my mind) made me look/feel smaller. I also avoided white/beige like the plague back then too--I saw myself looking twice as big in white/beige as well. No more though.
That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
Oh yes, very much so. And patterns too! I refuse to buy black now. I am buying purple and red and whatever colours and patterns seem lively and cheerful.
I basically lost 25.9kg/57lbs/4 stone all off my stomach, it made EVERYTHING easier! Especially doing my laces up lol
I'm so jealous. I've lost 38.8kg, but my stomach is still really big. Maybe when I get to my goal weight? (Healthy BMI is 9.6kg away, goal weight is another 20kg)
That a whole new area of colors in your wardrobe will be welcomed and look GREAT on you.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
I'm kinda opposite right now. My old wardrobe had plenty of colours but now just about everything is black. On the positive side, my old clothes were all ones made for fat people and looked like it, now my clothes are much nicer styles. However the colours are oh so boring. I just was forced to buy a whole lot of clothes and spent as little as possible on them because they probably won't fit for long. Once I get to goal weight I hope to gradually improve my wardrobe.
My wardrobe hasn't changed much. I pretty much live in relaxed T-shirts and sweatshirts, which are available in all kinds of colors and sizes and don't really have any lines or structures that need to be changed for a fat person. I can save myself the hassle of shopping by ordering online since they don't need to fit a certain way. They also tend to wear well even when a little big, so I don't buy new ones until I look like a toddler wearing adult clothes. My sense of fashion (or lack thereof) has served me well in weight loss.
I used to think that I was just a fundamentally messy person, and that it was something I was doing wrong that was preventing me from looking polished or professional.
Welp, I’ve been looking pretty sharp all week, and I’m still the same person. So now I’m just angry that ‘professional’ attire is so fundamentally sizeist and ableist. If you’re the right shape for ‘professional’ styles, you can look great; and if you’re NOT the right shape, the mismatch just becomes more and more apparent the larger you are.
How many of my assumptions about my own incapacities were because of things like this??!
I'm kinda opposite right now. My old wardrobe had plenty of colours but now just about everything is black. On the positive side, my old clothes were all ones made for fat people and looked like it, now my clothes are much nicer styles. However the colours are oh so boring. I just was forced to buy a whole lot of clothes and spent as little as possible on them because they probably won't fit for long. Once I get to goal weight I hope to gradually improve my wardrobe. [/quote]
Charity/ second hand shops were made for this! Pic up tops for a couple of dollars and then when you shrink out of them donate them back!
A positive one - shirt sleeves are the right length. I am slightly under 5'8" and when I wore L and XL, cuffs were always trying to creep up to my palms.
How much it annoys me when someone says, "oh, you don't have to watch what you eat!" or, "oh, you don't have to work out!"
I feel like they're disrespecting the discipline and hard work it takes to be healthy ...
I don't. Many people I hang with now are people I have met being active and they never knew me overweight. Sometimes I tell them and sometimes I let it slide, especially if it is someone overweight having a pity party (before anyone slams me for saying this, I used to host such parties all the time). It's the wrong time to tell them that I did it by making it really important and being disciplined this time.
BTW, I get the one about not having to watch what I eat, but I have gotten into good enough shape that it is obvious I work out. I still have a hard time believing that's really me in the mirror. I don't look like a body builder but I am pretty fit. I think that contributes to the idea that I don't have to watch what I eat. I work out enough that it does make it possible for me to plan for indulgent events and look carefree in choosing what to eat.
As to clothing...this may sound weird, but I noticed when I was fat, the big sizes of clothes really got a b.o. smell. Now, maybe it was me and my body chemistry was different. But, the only times I (or anyone around me) notice any b.o. now is after a sweaty run. I often wondered if clothing manufacturers were somehow anti-fat people. (I was a 2xl or women's 18, now 4 or 6 depending on the brand)
Regarding eating what I want. Yes! I exercise every day, running whenever I can. I feel I can be carefree regarding what I eat and in most ways I am right...as long as I exercise. I have noticed on days I do not exercise much, I am not as hungry. This seems to keep my weight within the same couple of pounds. @brightresolve I would say not to worry about what people say. Let them think it is no big deal and maybe, just maybe, they will decide to jump onto the healthy bandwagon...and find cute dogs to adopt and walk/run with
Replies
Weight loss is a complicated beast sometimes. It’s determined by a lot of factors and influenced by things beyond our control. Even when you’re doing everything you’re supposed to be doing sometimes your body just ain’t gonna cooperate. I personally lost over 20 pounds and it was really hard, but luckily I documented my story on my blog, [removed by mod], you check it out. As well, there will be gains, losses and stalls. It’s disappointing to not see losses every single week, but if it was easy, more people would be doing it. It’s more than just intake and expenditure of calories. Things like genetics, other health issues, sleep, environment, menstrual cycle and stress can all stall your weight loss progress.
Omgosh, I have done this to my skinner friends. I didn't realize how rude I was being until now. My goal weight is 145 and current weight is 320. I have a long way to go. So when someone that needs to lose 5lbs or even 20lbs. I dont know, it just makes me feel like I'm so big and maybe even a little hopeless in the moment.
But Im working on it. My starting weight was 324 just a couple days ago. And I refuse to be like this anymore. And I won't tell my skinny friends anymore that they don't have to try because they are just skinny or anything along those lines.
I avoided certain colors for years not only because of the way they looked on me, but the association I had (in my mind) to the colors. For instance, I NEVER wore gray or different shades of gray because I associated gray with elephants and when I would try on something gray...I saw myself as looking like an elephant. The same thing with various shades of pink. I associated pink with pigs and pink looked terrible on me. I also avoided browns, because I saw myself as looking like a big ole bear in browns. No more, the slimmer and trimmer I'm becoming, the more I am loving pinks, grays and browns.
This made me laugh so hard because all my pants are black or gray. And a third of my shirts are pink (I was in a "F--it I am woman" mode working in a male dominated industry). I would have looked like a stuff elephant or piglet to you most of the time
This made me so sad because it sounds like someone bullied you and called you awful names. Even if they didn't, you did to yourself. I'm glad you're losing weight, but I hope you see that you were always worthy of wearing any color you wanted no matter your size. What color looks good on you has nothing to do with poundage. And elephants, pigs, and bears are all wonderful intelligent creatures after all. Be kind to yourself, OK?
What a kindhearted, beautiful and thought provoking reply {{{{
I'm glad you got a hearty laugh from my post
ETA: My almost entire wardrobe was mainly black--most everything I wore in my obese days was black--just about everything, because black (in my mind) made me look/feel smaller. I also avoided white/beige like the plague back then too--I saw myself looking twice as big in white/beige as well. No more though.
Oh yes, very much so. And patterns too! I refuse to buy black now. I am buying purple and red and whatever colours and patterns seem lively and cheerful.
I'm so jealous. I've lost 38.8kg, but my stomach is still really big. Maybe when I get to my goal weight? (Healthy BMI is 9.6kg away, goal weight is another 20kg)
I'm kinda opposite right now. My old wardrobe had plenty of colours but now just about everything is black. On the positive side, my old clothes were all ones made for fat people and looked like it, now my clothes are much nicer styles. However the colours are oh so boring. I just was forced to buy a whole lot of clothes and spent as little as possible on them because they probably won't fit for long. Once I get to goal weight I hope to gradually improve my wardrobe.
I used to think that I was just a fundamentally messy person, and that it was something I was doing wrong that was preventing me from looking polished or professional.
Welp, I’ve been looking pretty sharp all week, and I’m still the same person. So now I’m just angry that ‘professional’ attire is so fundamentally sizeist and ableist. If you’re the right shape for ‘professional’ styles, you can look great; and if you’re NOT the right shape, the mismatch just becomes more and more apparent the larger you are.
How many of my assumptions about my own incapacities were because of things like this??!
[/quote]
I'm kinda opposite right now. My old wardrobe had plenty of colours but now just about everything is black. On the positive side, my old clothes were all ones made for fat people and looked like it, now my clothes are much nicer styles. However the colours are oh so boring. I just was forced to buy a whole lot of clothes and spent as little as possible on them because they probably won't fit for long. Once I get to goal weight I hope to gradually improve my wardrobe. [/quote]
Charity/ second hand shops were made for this! Pic up tops for a couple of dollars and then when you shrink out of them donate them back!
I don't. Many people I hang with now are people I have met being active and they never knew me overweight. Sometimes I tell them and sometimes I let it slide, especially if it is someone overweight having a pity party (before anyone slams me for saying this, I used to host such parties all the time). It's the wrong time to tell them that I did it by making it really important and being disciplined this time.
BTW, I get the one about not having to watch what I eat, but I have gotten into good enough shape that it is obvious I work out. I still have a hard time believing that's really me in the mirror. I don't look like a body builder but I am pretty fit. I think that contributes to the idea that I don't have to watch what I eat. I work out enough that it does make it possible for me to plan for indulgent events and look carefree in choosing what to eat.
Regarding eating what I want. Yes! I exercise every day, running whenever I can. I feel I can be carefree regarding what I eat and in most ways I am right...as long as I exercise. I have noticed on days I do not exercise much, I am not as hungry. This seems to keep my weight within the same couple of pounds. @brightresolve I would say not to worry about what people say. Let them think it is no big deal and maybe, just maybe, they will decide to jump onto the healthy bandwagon...and find cute dogs to adopt and walk/run with