The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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@Yellowstone1983 good to hear from you. Perfectionists put a lot of pressure on themselves, it’s no wonder alcohol offers a brief reprieve. But sounds like you are over it (alcohol) and have a beautiful reason to be present and NOT numb (your baby). Wishing you well. Look forward to seeing your posts when you have time.
Take it from me, alcohol can hinder motherhood, because it made me more anxious and even worsens depression. And it’s not fun having your children worry about you and eyeball how much you drink.8 -
Thanks Ruby for welcoming me!3
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RubyRed427 wrote: »@Yellowstone1983 good to hear from you. Perfectionists put a lot of pressure on themselves, it’s no wonder alcohol offers a brief reprieve. But sounds like you are over it (alcohol) and have a beautiful reason to be present and NOT numb (your baby). Wishing you well. Look forward to seeing your posts when you have time.
Take it from me, alcohol can hinder motherhood, because it made me more anxious and even worsens depression. And it’s not fun having your children worry about you and eyeball how much you drink.
As a jumping off point with posts, I thought I'd be able to moderate after 9 months off during my pregnancy. I was pleased with myself that I was indifferent to the bottle of champagne my sister brought to the hospital, but I knew once I got home I wanted a drink.. And I had multiple after I pumped despite getting all of 15 hrs of sleep in 4 days (c-section had me in the hospital that long). I vowed I would just get the urge out of my system and would slow down with my former, pre-pregnancy almost every evening wine, but I got back to that after a few months once I knew I could pump enough extra milk and spent every day working part time (after 2 weeks off) and being a mommy full time. That was my relaxation after he would sleep. So here I am saying enough of a substance having control over me8 -
@Yellowstone1983 Welcome to our group. As you likely noticed after reading ALL those posts, it takes some time to see the huge benefits of being AF, but there are also immediate benefits. It's not always an easy ride, BUT easier than dealing with the consequences of over drinking or daily drinking. Like you said, alcohol takes control and it's great to see that you are taking the control back...hoping the best for you
BTW you weren't "rambling." You're talking to the Queen of Ramble here...I like to call it "venting"...perfectly acceptable in this space. Each of us has the freedom to read or not read. So, please do not hold back from spilling what you need to spill, no apologies necessary.
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@lorrainequiche59 Thanks for the kind words! I look forward to posting, and providing support where I can.5
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Good morning friends! I finally feel better. I was in a slump all week for probably ten reasons, and I really tried to get that joy back into my mind. Today, I woke up and said “Dont you feel so happy you didn’t drink!!? “ I feel good this morning. Will excercise, get haircut and color and go to book store with the kids before son goes to college.
Speaking of haircuts, in my salon the mirror and lighting really do a number on self esteem. I have sat in front of that salon mirror with a hangover, puffy face, etc. and thought why do you do this to yourself. Why do you look so “old” when you are young-ish. I knew it was alcohol; it’s aging. Happy to say that today, I am hoping to sit there and see a thinner face looking back at me. LOL
Wishing all a good day.10 -
@RubyRed427 Wishing you a good sober day! I feel you with the looking so much better when not drinking.. I want to maintain my looks while I still have them.. Also, it seems like you're good at filling your time with pleasant activities throughout the day and that's something I think I should try to get better at.4
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
BTW you weren't "rambling." You're talking to the Queen of Ramble here...I like to call it "venting"...perfectly acceptable in this space. Each of us has the freedom to read or not read. So, please do not hold back from spilling what you need to spill, no apologies necessary.
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Thanks for this. I'd like to jump in with both feet. I'm wondering if others can relate to 'when' I struggle.. I almost never go out anywhere (for drinks). I don't remember the last time I went out with friends. My husband and I have only been on 1 date without the baby in the last 9 months.. We are just in a terrible habit of drinking at night after work at home. He's very supportive btw, but also not at the same place I am. When I told him I want to quit permanently he said, "Not even socially?" He's also been AF the last few days, but suggested we both get healthy/lose weight and then moderate, which I told him doesn't work for me..
So my long winded point is that I struggle at home at night after work. That's the prime struggle until 'camping season', which will be very tough. We have a vacation spot in wine country that we go to many weekends throughout the summer so I want to get in a good place with AF now.5 -
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/g11644970/celebrities-who-dont-drink-alcohol/
For fun and inspiration, I sometimes read about celebrities who have gone sober. The common theme is life is much better sober. I like Kristin Davis comments that it was going to be one or other. Drink and stay hungover or not drink.
I also tell myself that these people have award shows, free booze and wine probably anytime they want, etc. Just some motivation for me to see others sober. Xo
@Yellowstone1983 For sure, Alcohol creates redness, more lines, puffiness, bloat, etc. I took a picture of myself Dec. 2017 after a particular awful night of drinking. Next morning, I took a selfie to remind me of how painful my drinking has become. Yesterday while cleaning and decluttering, I found a picture from about 8 years ago of me and the kids. The kids looked so happy next to me and I looked so puffy,miserable,and old behind my smile. I didn’t throw the pic away even though I hate how I looked. Because it will remind me of how painful my life was with alcohol. I probably had several glasses of wine before that picture. Made me sad to see.9 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@Yellowstone1983 Welcome to our group. As you likely noticed after reading ALL those posts, it takes some time to see the huge benefits of being AF, but there are also immediate benefits. It's not always an easy ride, BUT easier than dealing with the consequences of over drinking or daily drinking. Like you said, alcohol takes control and it's great to see that you are taking the control back...hoping the best for you
BTW you weren't "rambling." You're talking to the Queen of Ramble here...I like to call it "venting"...perfectly acceptable in this space. Each of us has the freedom to read or not read. So, please do not hold back from spilling what you need to spill, no apologies necessary.
All ramblers should bow now, for they are in the presence of their king! My other queen is going to be upset when she finds out about you. :laugh: I have been known to talk for 10 minutes taking a new tangent every 30 seconds or so. Some people get frustrated with me and others are fascinated.7 -
CarvedTones wrote: »lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@Yellowstone1983 Welcome to our group. As you likely noticed after reading ALL those posts, it takes some time to see the huge benefits of being AF, but there are also immediate benefits. It's not always an easy ride, BUT easier than dealing with the consequences of over drinking or daily drinking. Like you said, alcohol takes control and it's great to see that you are taking the control back...hoping the best for you
BTW you weren't "rambling." You're talking to the Queen of Ramble here...I like to call it "venting"...perfectly acceptable in this space. Each of us has the freedom to read or not read. So, please do not hold back from spilling what you need to spill, no apologies necessary.
All ramblers should bow now, for they are in the presence of their king! My other queen is going to be upset when she finds out about you. :laugh: I have been known to talk for 10 minutes taking a new tangent every 30 seconds or so. Some people get frustrated with me and others are fascinated.
But what is so fascinating about folks like yourself is that you can start on one topic, continue on with several more and find a way (10 minutes later) to get back to your original point/topic and make it all seem related. 7 -
@CarvedTones Glad to know I'm in good company..
@kpk54 Glad to know my speech is circumstantial and not tangential.. After reading this thread in its entirety I have had many more thoughts and feelings about drinking behaviors related to what you all have experienced, so there's potentially lots for me to say.. Trying to pick the best points3 -
everyone doing great! lets keep it going...my birthday is coming up and like last year it will be super dry 11
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@Yellowstone1983 Welcome to our group. We are glad to have you. I too, replaced cigarettes with alcohol years ago. I've been on and off stopping/starting drinking for at least 5 years. I , like many here, am committed to a completely AF January. We are nearly half way done with the month! No drink is worth it...I would be disgusted with myself. I am happy you are trying to quit while your child is young. I drank way too much in front of my children who are now grown. The one who now has children of her own, for months, would taste my drink before she let me babysit. It was humiliating but I said nothing. I deserved it. I think she finally trusts that I would never ever drink while caring for her children, and that is line I would never cross. Anyway, I am happy you are mindful of your drinking. Kids notice everything.4
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Day 12, Saturday morning and already completed my barre workout at the gym! Feels great to wake up early on Sat morning and ready to GO!
Welcome @yellowstone1983 !! I have decided after drinking wine on a daily basis for several years for a dry January and on. What motivates me is the fact that I have hurt loved ones by things I have said while drinking too much. I was always the fun person to be around who liked her vino; however, I have crossed the line. I much rather not have a drink than to think back of things I have said or done and don’t remember. The things I was trying to numb are much easier to deal with a sober mind, I am thinking clearer and it’s great!
I am changing my habits as I enjoy wine while cooking and with dinner and... However, I have switched to hot tea and bought a pretty teapot with flowering pods, watch them bloom. The hardest time I have is prior to dinner “cocktail hour”; however, each day that passes I am not thinking about it. This is my new routine. We are going to Italy in May for my husbands birthday, I will remember Italy fully this time.
All the best to everyone! It is nice knowing we are not alone.9 -
CarvedTones wrote: »lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@Yellowstone1983 Welcome to our group. As you likely noticed after reading ALL those posts, it takes some time to see the huge benefits of being AF, but there are also immediate benefits. It's not always an easy ride, BUT easier than dealing with the consequences of over drinking or daily drinking. Like you said, alcohol takes control and it's great to see that you are taking the control back...hoping the best for you
BTW you weren't "rambling." You're talking to the Queen of Ramble here...I like to call it "venting"...perfectly acceptable in this space. Each of us has the freedom to read or not read. So, please do not hold back from spilling what you need to spill, no apologies necessary.
All ramblers should bow now, for they are in the presence of their king! My other queen is going to be upset when she finds out about you. :laugh: I have been known to talk for 10 minutes taking a new tangent every 30 seconds or so. Some people get frustrated with me and others are fascinated.
But what is so fascinating about folks like yourself is that you can start on one topic, continue on with several more and find a way (10 minutes later) to get back to your original point/topic and make it all seem related.
There is no conversation that can't be improved with a story and there is no story that can't be improved with another story. And relevance is irrelevant... :laugh:7 -
CarvedTones wrote: »lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@Yellowstone1983 Welcome to our group. As you likely noticed after reading ALL those posts, it takes some time to see the huge benefits of being AF, but there are also immediate benefits. It's not always an easy ride, BUT easier than dealing with the consequences of over drinking or daily drinking. Like you said, alcohol takes control and it's great to see that you are taking the control back...hoping the best for you
BTW you weren't "rambling." You're talking to the Queen of Ramble here...I like to call it "venting"...perfectly acceptable in this space. Each of us has the freedom to read or not read. So, please do not hold back from spilling what you need to spill, no apologies necessary.
All ramblers should bow now, for they are in the presence of their king! My other queen is going to be upset when she finds out about you. :laugh: I have been known to talk for 10 minutes taking a new tangent every 30 seconds or so. Some people get frustrated with me and others are fascinated.
But what is so fascinating about folks like yourself is that you can start on one topic, continue on with several more and find a way (10 minutes later) to get back to your original point/topic and make it all seem related.
My mother was this way. Over the years I learned to speak in bullet points but sat back in amazement of how she could tie it all together. I never really got the knack of it.6 -
After a week of feeling off, I know why now. Yes, it was my work but it was also the onset of kidney stones. Tonight I sit here drinking. Drinking water...glass after glass trying to flush my system out. But no complaints as it could be so much worse and I could be reporting that I have to start over on Day #1. But no, Day #15 is almost here. Congrats to everyone who is celebrating any AF day! Woot!13
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Well i have failed big time sorry to let you all down. I feel so bad but im glad do, i need to feel like this to remind myself why i shouldnt drink!9
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@MJaRT25 You have neither failed nor let us all down! Please! No one is perfect. And we all benefit and learn from each other's experiences, either good or bad. Today is a new day! Don't look back, you aren't going that way.12
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Well i have failed big time sorry to let you all down. I feel so bad but im glad do, i need to feel like this to remind myself why i shouldnt drink!
This is a journey and there isn't anyone that doesn't stumble in one way or another along the way! Having some drinks isn't a failure, it's just part of the journey. You'll feel better in a day or so and continue back on your journey
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@MJaRT25 No worries. You have strung together days of being AF.So, you had a few glasses. This morning, you can write down what triggered it, how you feel now, and then move on. I sometimes reread my journal notes to remind myself of my triggers. Today is Day 1. Don’t be too hard on yourself.6
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@Fitness327wk Your post about drinking wine when you cook made me smile. I think I cooked more dinners just so I could drink while cooking. I remember when I used to make marinara or bolognese I would drink a half of bottle of red and pour some in the sauce. It was weird not drinking wine while cooking but as for most things, you get used to it and do something different and the habit fades away. 7
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I love cool number sequences. Today is day 567.14
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day 44 for me today....i cant recall last time i was 44 day dry....now looking to day 50
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@MJaRT25 You should not be to hard on yourself, we are proud of you for making changes! Look at the days you achieved of being AF and now you can choose to be AF.. I like what @RubyRed427 advised about journaling and triggers, it really helps!
We are all in this together! Here is to a positive, healthy Sunday!5 -
Lost a long post
just wanted to say welcome Yellowstone and congrats on your new little one and MJ,every "slip" is a new learning experience,hope you feel better,wishing us all a super,sober Sunday! 6 -
@JenT304 , @Fitness327wk , and @whitpauly - Thank you all for the welcome!
@JenT304 - You're right, kids don't miss a trick.. He wants everything mommy has.. cute when he gives me a big smile and reaches for my coffee mug, but not so cute when it's a cider or wine..
@CarvedTones- Congratulations!
@Normlnv - Congratulations!
@MrSunshinez - Hope you feel better!
@MJaRT25 - I am impressed by you as well as everyone else who doesn't let a slip turn into a fall.. I'm very all or nothing when it comes to goal setting and accomplishments.. So for me, I need to be very cognizant of my tendency to say screw it if I derail a little..
@RubyRed427 - Your suggestion of journaling is a great one.. I at least took pause today when I had thoughts of drinking and realized that if it's not to unwind after a long day, it's usually when I'm really angry about something and feel like I need something to literally depress the anger.. As a wise person once told me though, "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die." Well no literal poison for me today.. Went to my office to relax/get out of the house.. Here's to day 6..
@whitpauly - I lost a long post too and I think I clicked the 'go' button up by 'search discussion ' instead of the 'post reply' button4
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