WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2019
Replies
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Just going to copy it here. Feedback needed.
Because I work with very small children, my mind tends to hold onto words from children’s literature, more than other works. These words were said by the Skin Horse in The Velveteen Rabbit.
“Real isn't how you are made,”... “It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”...”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” ... “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
When I first met Norine, and began to become a part of this family, my first impression was of June Cleaver or Donna Reed. Norine was very sweet, quiet, genteel and well mannered. As a matter of fact, if Michigan were located closer to the Mason-Dixon line, I would swear she was a real southern lady. She didn’t seem to have an opinion, or at least seemed content to let some one else’s opinion be the one voiced. I came from brash, loud, boisterous, and rambunctious. I liked Norine; but she and this quiet family made me feel like a bull in a china shop. That was my first impression.
It took me a few years to see another side to her. It took another brash and rambunctious woman to join the family and organize a bunch of “girl get togethers”. All of us daughters in law would grab Norine and go to see movies, have lunch, go to musicals, and just have fun. THAT was when I began to see her sense of humor and realize that I could talk about things with her and she wouldn’t be shocked by what I had to say. I remember a conversation that I had with Jeanne and she mentioned that when they were younger, Norine was the life of the party. Always laughing, joking, outgoing and ready for an adventure.
The words of the Skin Horse from the Velveteen Rabbit really hit home for me as I took time this weekend to think about mom and how life helps us become who we are supposed to be. We are so foolish to think that the way we were when we were in our youth is “the most true, or most real”. In our youth we are bright and vibrant, with new skin, shiny hair and sparkling eyes. We are ready for everything. Then life happens. We lose our sparkle and vibrancy, we begin to look tired as our skin and hair begin to fade (or thin) as we put everything we have into our families, jobs, homes. We are becoming worn. We are becoming more real. Our children grow older, grandchildren come, then great grand children. We are loved by another generation. Our shiny new outer exterior is now faded, patchy, worn and has a sheen of a life well lived and loved.
Nobody stays the same in life. We all cycle through different phases like an egg to a caterpillar to a butterfly. Watching and learning about mom and how she lived her life and became real, has shown me that no phase that we are in is the phase we are going to stay in. We change through life and love. We change to meet the needs of those who love us. WE become real. As God intended. If we have lived our lives and have loved and been loved by others we will go out of this life worn, faded, torn, and so real that the memory of us will stay with those who loved us most. Forever.
As I said, this is a rough draft. The factual life, faith part is being written and read by another family member. My reflection is meant to be a personal reflection and only a couple minutes in (reading) length. Thanks for your help! KJ
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Did 2 segments of the Proform Get Strong, Sexy and Skinny DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to do Leslie Sansone’s Walk at Home DVD. Maybe sometime next week I’ll do the other two segments.
Right now I have a meatloaf in the oven for Vince. I’ll probably have the turkey meatloaves from Skinnytaste (he doesn’t care for them). Then I’m thinking that I’ll make the cookies to put in the napkin/diapers.
Heather – Vince has said “I’ll get you a housekeeper only if you really needed it because I know you. You’d clean before she got here so she doesn’t see the house a mess and you’d clean after she left because she didn’t do it your way.” And he’s right. Congrats on your run. You have nothing to be disconcerted about. That front runner probably has been doing that for years and years.
Barbara – for the first time ever as I was using the Wii this morning, suddenly the TV screen went all green and white and I couldn’t turn it off. Vince finally unplugged it from the back and it worked. He’s wondering if this means that it’s on it’s last legs. Personally, I really don’t want to spend the money for a new Wii. But on the positive side….in order for him to get to the back of the control (is that what it’s called) he had to move some of my DVD’s. In putting them back I now have room for at least 2 more (like I need that). So that’s good news
Ordered the tea bags for Denise. They should be here around the 11th. At first I was thinking the Celestial Seasonings brand but then I remembered that something like 5 tea bags come in a packet. The reviews of Stash brand say that each tea bag comes individually packaged. There will be some more left over, but I’ll have them so it’s no big deal
Julia – welcome! Awesome weight loss. Be sure to bookmark this page. There is a star at the top of the page (not the one next to a bell). If you click on that star, it’ll turn yellow and then you have this place bookmarked!
Finished making the oatmeal chocolate cookies. I think they do look a bit like poop. Now I’m thinking of making sour cream chocolate chocolate cookies
Janetr – it is so sad when land gets developed. Happy Birthday to your grandson and Mia
Kim – happy birthday to your mom! Have a great dinner. Outback is good.
I’ll probably finish the diamond dotz that I’m making for Jess. Next I’ll probably work on the diaper cake for Denise then the diamond dotz for her and Pete.
M – I, too, wish they’d stay on DST year round. Finally we’ll be on the same time as Jess.
KJ – what you wrote sounds like a great start.
Vince is moving the clocks forward right now
Michele in NC
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Thanks ladies! I have been corresponding with some ladies in my LS support group, and they all suggest I use a lesser dose on my various spots on my body. And especially stop putting it on my face, because of a glaucoma risk. I know I wouldn't put it in my eye, but if I turn and get it on my pillow then accidentally get on my eye, so stopping that. The group is a great resource for me. Nothing is too TMI. Very comforting!
Nice day driving around Oak Harbor is son's van. He was looking for a certain soda! Then we got Chinese food at a high end grocery store, parked at a sunny spot overlooking the harbor. We reminisced about the past, and told stories.
I bought some whipped cream vodka while we were out and about. I do like a jigger or two! It should last a great while! Just over ice. Need to make ice! Our frig has a built in one, just need to activate it!
I love pretty pics as you can see! Facebook to me is 90% eye candy! Oh because I love Suki so much, they made me a top fan! One of many. I am a professional click liker!
Here is Suki and her human!
💗Rebecca4 -
KJ, I am in tears. this is beautiful. You are truly one of the most insightful, loving, caring persons I know. I think those of us who are mothers-in-law would be blessed and thrilled to have this said of us when we are gone.
Big hugs, girl.
Janetr OKC3 -
Just going to copy it here. Feedback needed.
Because I work with very small children, my mind tends to hold onto words from children’s literature, more than other works. These words were said by the Skin Horse in The Velveteen Rabbit.
“Real isn't how you are made,”... “It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”...”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” ... “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
When I first met Norine, and began to become a part of this family, my first impression was of June Cleaver or Donna Reed. Norine was very sweet, quiet, genteel and well mannered. As a matter of fact, if Michigan were located closer to the Mason-Dixon line, I would swear she was a real southern lady. She didn’t seem to have an opinion, or at least seemed content to let some one else’s opinion be the one voiced. I came from brash, loud, boisterous, and rambunctious. I liked Norine; but she and this quiet family made me feel like a bull in a china shop. That was my first impression.
It took me a few years to see another side to her. It took another brash and rambunctious woman to join the family and organize a bunch of “girl get togethers”. All of us daughters in law would grab Norine and go to see movies, have lunch, go to musicals, and just have fun. THAT was when I began to see her sense of humor and realize that I could talk about things with her and she wouldn’t be shocked by what I had to say. I remember a conversation that I had with Jeanne and she mentioned that when they were younger, Norine was the life of the party. Always laughing, joking, outgoing and ready for an adventure.
The words of the Skin Horse from the Velveteen Rabbit really hit home for me as I took time this weekend to think about mom and how life helps us become who we are supposed to be. We are so foolish to think that the way we were when we were in our youth is “the most true, or most real”. In our youth we are bright and vibrant, with new skin, shiny hair and sparkling eyes. We are ready for everything. Then life happens. We lose our sparkle and vibrancy, we begin to look tired as our skin and hair begin to fade (or thin) as we put everything we have into our families, jobs, homes. We are becoming worn. We are becoming more real. Our children grow older, grandchildren come, then great grand children. We are loved by another generation. Our shiny new outer exterior is now faded, patchy, worn and has a sheen of a life well lived and loved.
Nobody stays the same in life. We all cycle through different phases like an egg to a caterpillar to a butterfly. Watching and learning about mom and how she lived her life and became real, has shown me that no phase that we are in is the phase we are going to stay in. We change through life and love. We change to meet the needs of those who love us. WE become real. As God intended. If we have lived our lives and have loved and been loved by others we will go out of this life worn, faded, torn, and so real that the memory of us will stay with those who loved us most. Forever.
As I said, this is a rough draft. The factual life, faith part is being written and read by another family member. My reflection is meant to be a personal reflection and only a couple minutes in (reading) length. Thanks for your help! KJ
That's nice.
My only suggestion would be to read it out loud a couple times. That's when any slight changes you want to make will become evident.
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Kelly You're better at this kind of thing than you think. That is very nice. People will find it sweet and comforting and genuine.
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Kelly I couldn't see the hair video...
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Sunday (aka Machka's Canadian Birthday) -- I was surprisingly tired today after yesterday's adventure so today was a relaxing day.
Sleep ... a long walk ... dinner at one of my favourite restaurants ... dessert at my favourite ice cream place ...
All good.
On the down-side, I cracked another tooth. Fortunately I'm going to the dentist on Wednesday to continue the root canal on another tooth, so I'll have her take a look at the newly broken on too.
M in Oz3 -
Kelly - it is well written, and heartfelt. The only thing I would add was the reflection you gave us the other day of how much she was there for you when you asked if you could call her "Mom." It was lovely, touching and very real.
Rebecca - I'm so glad you have support for the LS with people who have experience and can give you advice. You're such a tough cookie.
Machka - I know we said you could use a break, but we meant a mental break! Sorry the tooth has cracked. Glad you're getting it looked at quickly.
Daylight Savings Time. Words fail me. As a morning person, it's not a lovely thing to stay in the dark longer...
Stayed up MUCH later than usual last night, watching a comic on Netflix that I think is terribly funny, and both words are very accurate.
But, backing off of writing the blog has done what I hoped it would do, and crystallized my next writing project, and I'm in the mood to write, so I shall go do that. And possibly a nap later. That's pretty much the Sunday plan.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR6 -
Machka Happy Birthday!
Karen in Virginia0 -
Whomp! How did it get to be 03:47? Oh, yeah, DST.
Machka continued Happy Birthday weekend wishes! I don't even want to read the DST links, they might convince me intellectually but physically and emotionally I do NOT like the time change, on either end. Not not NOT!
Heather con VERY gratulations on your park run. Please add "Proud" to your exicted, happy and delighted feelings
Barbie, thank YOU very much! I'd not heard that song and I absolutely love it! Asked our teacher to include it in future. Thanks also for the reminder that regardless ofthe clock time, the days ARE getting longer (Sorry Machka!).
Margaret what kind of program would meet the needs of a kindergartner who physically attacks his teachers? 5 yrs old, yes? SMH.
Janet Is there any way to keep your well water for drinking and just use the nasty city water for flushing? Happy birthday to GS and DGGDs, the cuties!
Lisa Brava for rowing. How did your new knee like it?
Beth thanks for the link to the DNA testing reviews. Much to think about.
Rebecca hoping the cream gives you rapid relief and healing. Handsome boys, all of 'em! Suki and her owner are breathtaking!
Kim here's to an enjoyable lunch and happy birthday for your mom.
Evelyn (((hugs))) for your season of loss. Five hours at a walk in clinic? :noway: To do a spoiler, highlight the text you want to hide, click the paragraph symbol drop down, and select Spoiler.
KJ So sorry for your and Tim's loss. "All I can do is hug him and tell him that he needs to let the guilt and regret go." So wise and true. He'll have to grieve of course, but to hang on to regret would be very very bad for his health. Couldn't follow the links, but your hair sounds beautiful. Your personal reflection brought tears. It is just right!
Welcome Julia!
Last night and this morning, Scooter had some kind of fits, chattering his teeth, shaking his head so violently it whomped into the wall. at 4am called the emergency vet. Since he didn't fall down or seem out of it after the fit, she thought it safe to wailt until they opened at 8am. We took him in and vet thinks it's a possible ear infection combined with truly terrible teeth (3.5 on a scale where 4 is the worst). We have stuff for his ear and he's scheduled for a dental the 28th, wish it could be sooner. I should have asked if he is in pain and should I give him half a Tramadol, may call them tomorrow. We are much relieved. Scooter is 14, arthritic and looks frail, but patrols the yard with tail and ears high and is a champion p!$$ and p00p er.
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
walk one more step 8/31, 60 g protein 9/31, rx/vits 9/31, meditate 8/31, knee exercises 8/31, SWSY 1/8, play with Tumble 8/31, hang up or purge art 0/4 AF 8/31.
Word for 2019: "GOOD" good attitude, good food, good times, good choices, good enough, feel good, GOOD!
03/09 LT: SWSY-N MT: Dog Group-Y ST: Scooter to vet-Y
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Still exploring found this morning, so interesting and inspiring, us over 50 people need to stick together. Thanks again.2
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Look what I found!!
Poutinerie French Fry Emporium
Canadian Poutinerie – serving traditional Poutine and unique Loaded Fries using hand-cut local potatoes, fresh cheese curds and slow cooked meats.
We might have to go there tomorrow!!
Machka ... the Canadian in Australia7 -
MariMcKeon I am right with being unstable on my feet ...I have had several back surgeries and left with a lot of nerve damage waist down. I have a suggestion maybe you can do indoor stepping ...maybe place a chair in front of you and have your hand on it ...Leslie Sansone videos are good...you can look her up on you tube. ...just a thought and suggestion for you
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kelly I love what you’ve written-genuine and heart felt. I agree that saying it out loud a few times is helpful. It is a really wonderful that you are celebrating her, will be a comfort to all who loved her.
NYKAREN1 -
KJ - I love what you wrote! I too agree to practice it out loud. It’s amazing what changes you’ll hear. (ETA) I mean that I usually find changes when I read things out loud, not that I think you need to fix things. Hugs!!
Okie in the TX Hill Country2 -
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I've been working on my husband's story again this evening. A little bit at a time. I actually found a few things I had forgotten about.
M in Oz3 -
Home from seeing my DFIL he is still the same. good to see him.Tom came down too so we tag teamed feeding him..its sleeting out so will stay in for the day... get some things done around here and do some cooking... not feeling like eating much so will have another cup of tea and then maybe have something at lunch...1
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Kelly ... Your reflection brought tears to my eyes as well. You can tweak it if you want (I always have a zillion rough drafts), but it is beautiful as it stands.2
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