What nobody tells you about losing weight
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@RelCanonical That is good advice. I haven't ever really talked about my anxiety until this past vacation with my mom and aunt, where I told them how anxious I was in general. I mean, when I opened my etsy store to sell my jewelry had I a panic attack going to the post office because I didn't know what to do. That was my first clue that what I thought was all weight related fear of the world was more anxiety driven fear of the world as a base foundation of my nature.
Next time WILL be better and in regards to the post office, the next time WAS better. Good luck to you too! Anxiety sucks and I hope the soul searching goes well and gives you the direction you need!4 -
dhiammarath wrote: »@RelCanonical That is good advice. I haven't ever really talked about my anxiety until this past vacation with my mom and aunt, where I told them how anxious I was in general. I mean, when I opened my etsy store to sell my jewelry had I a panic attack going to the post office because I didn't know what to do. That was my first clue that what I thought was all weight related fear of the world was more anxiety driven fear of the world as a base foundation of my nature.
Next time WILL be better and in regards to the post office, the next time WAS better. Good luck to you too! Anxiety sucks and I hope the soul searching goes well and gives you the direction you need!
As a young woman I was pretty confident and very little phased me. But, after years of being overweight and feeling socially awkward and embarrassed about it I truly believe that feeling became a habit - the anxiety persisted well beyond the time those things that caused it in me had been eroded. Although not at the end of my weight loss journey (I have a sneaking suspicion the journey will never actually end as I will always have to be on my guard) I am finally beginning to see my old confident self emerging. I no longer feel the need to hide at the back for every social occasion and, in my head, apologise for being there and spoiling the fun. I am much more willing to join in fun activities and am much less concerned about looking silly. Always does us good to remember that i) everyone does something for the first time and it's OK to not get it right first time and ii) actually, most of the time no-one thinks you are being silly/daft/stupid or whatever. Most of the time no-one notices us at all - and that's a good thing. XX
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RelCanonical wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »dhiammarath wrote: »motivatedmartha wrote: »dhiammarath wrote: »...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.
I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.
But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.
First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.
Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim...
This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!
Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!!
Like everyone else has said, wear them babies out! Myself, I'm trying to gather up the courage to wear dresses. I feel like a strange imposter or something. I don't know. There's this dress I want (it's expensive) and I've told myself I'll get it for my trip this June (first time to Europe!) if I keep my eye on the prize and hit some health goals (weight loss, but primarily some going to the gym/getting ready and in shape for my trip -- I have issues with stairs and inclines, so I'm trying to push myself to get better physically for that).
Here's to hoping I meet my goals AND that I get the dress without crossing it off as "well, I'm not made for dresses!" Which is ridiculous, but my brain feels aren't coming to the party on my logic feels.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I find that a pair of nice shoes really takes a dress from looking weird to being really put together. Doesn't have to be heels, but a nice pair of flats or strappy sandals or dressy boots. Although, I love a good pair of sky-high black wedges with black tights to make my legs look long. I always look a little frumpy when I try on dresses in bare feet or socks. Although, I know a dress is a true winner when I look good in it without shoes on. Those are the keepers.
Also the skirt length makes a difference! I make mine hit just above the knee, as I have wide calves and chopping them in half makes them look even bigger, as you don't see the natural curve into the knee. I also like to do high-waisted dresses, as I have a long torso and starting the waistline higher also makes my legs look longer.
It really varies depending on your body shape, it's just about dressing for a shape and knowing that not all dresses are going to be flattering, no matter the weight.
Wow, you and I really are twins! Except I don't wear boots or wedges often; my preference is Oxford style vintage inspired heels Same relatively short legs and long torso. Midi dresses make me feel frumpy. Forget maxi dresses! I look like I'm playing dress-up in a normal sized persons closet
Knee-length is my sweet spot; any higher and I can't really wear it to work. Fit and flare or A-line are my go-to silhouettes, although I'm branching out into sheaths lately. Those require a bit of help in the undergarment department to hold things steady, though.
I'm enjoying being able to enjoy shopping again. A bit too much, perhaps.
I ADORE oxford style heels. Omg. This kind of look with the black tights is my jam (not my feet in those lovely shoes, unfortunately):
I just haven't been able to find a good pair yet. I think I will do better finding a pair with weight loss because my feet will narrow a bit and I can fit into regular sizes again and feel braver about shopping for shoes online.
Those are a little higher heel than I'd wear daily, but super cute! My feet defnitely shrank with weight loss. I went down a full size to size and a half and had to replace my entire shoe wardrobe (awwww, how sad! )2 -
deleting, posted in the wrong place0
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RelCanonical wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »dhiammarath wrote: »motivatedmartha wrote: »dhiammarath wrote: »...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.
I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.
But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.
First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.
Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim...
This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!
Trouble is I have absolutely no idea what to buy. Used to be quite stylish when I was slim in my 20s and early 30s but now I am 63 and not needing 'business clothes' I am at a total loss! I have 2 dresses in my wardrobe which I purchased because I was so delighted that I could actually buy a dress (used to have big boobs, small bottom syndrome) but don't wear them because I don't know if a) I look ridiculous or b) when/where would it be appropriate to wear them - I live in the country - jeans and jumpers are the norm. And I thought losing weight would simplify by wardrobe dilemmas!!
Like everyone else has said, wear them babies out! Myself, I'm trying to gather up the courage to wear dresses. I feel like a strange imposter or something. I don't know. There's this dress I want (it's expensive) and I've told myself I'll get it for my trip this June (first time to Europe!) if I keep my eye on the prize and hit some health goals (weight loss, but primarily some going to the gym/getting ready and in shape for my trip -- I have issues with stairs and inclines, so I'm trying to push myself to get better physically for that).
Here's to hoping I meet my goals AND that I get the dress without crossing it off as "well, I'm not made for dresses!" Which is ridiculous, but my brain feels aren't coming to the party on my logic feels.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I find that a pair of nice shoes really takes a dress from looking weird to being really put together. Doesn't have to be heels, but a nice pair of flats or strappy sandals or dressy boots. Although, I love a good pair of sky-high black wedges with black tights to make my legs look long. I always look a little frumpy when I try on dresses in bare feet or socks. Although, I know a dress is a true winner when I look good in it without shoes on. Those are the keepers.
Also the skirt length makes a difference! I make mine hit just above the knee, as I have wide calves and chopping them in half makes them look even bigger, as you don't see the natural curve into the knee. I also like to do high-waisted dresses, as I have a long torso and starting the waistline higher also makes my legs look longer.
It really varies depending on your body shape, it's just about dressing for a shape and knowing that not all dresses are going to be flattering, no matter the weight.
Wow, you and I really are twins! Except I don't wear boots or wedges often; my preference is Oxford style vintage inspired heels Same relatively short legs and long torso. Midi dresses make me feel frumpy. Forget maxi dresses! I look like I'm playing dress-up in a normal sized persons closet
Knee-length is my sweet spot; any higher and I can't really wear it to work. Fit and flare or A-line are my go-to silhouettes, although I'm branching out into sheaths lately. Those require a bit of help in the undergarment department to hold things steady, though.
I'm enjoying being able to enjoy shopping again. A bit too much, perhaps.
I ADORE oxford style heels. Omg. This kind of look with the black tights is my jam (not my feet in those lovely shoes, unfortunately):
I just haven't been able to find a good pair yet. I think I will do better finding a pair with weight loss because my feet will narrow a bit and I can fit into regular sizes again and feel braver about shopping for shoes online.
Those are a little higher heel than I'd wear daily, but super cute! My feet defnitely shrank with weight loss. I went down a full size to size and a half and had to replace my entire shoe wardrobe (awwww, how sad! )
Yeah I like 'em super high, haha. You've got an extra inch on me so it must be we don't like to go above 5'5'' or it's too high, lol. I did get a cute pair today with just little kitten heels, but they're dark purple instead of black, which is definitely stretching my comfort zone! All of my dressy shoes are black. They were only a dollar though because it was a closing sale, so definitely an excellent opportunity to expand my style.
I have shrunk a little bit, to the point where a "size up" to fit width is a 1/2 size up instead of a full-size up. Now I size up to 6 1/2 and wear a 6W.
I could find a picture online, but they're a pretty standard pointed-toe pump, not shiny. Definitely an experiment for me.
This is the other pair I bought earlier in the sale, for like eight dollars. Probably too high for a standard professional environment but fortunately we wear jeans at my job so they're not too weird. xD These I sized up to the 6 1/2.
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@RelCanonical In my case it's self-preservation I can't walk in anything higher.
I'm awed at your shoe sale finds. Awesome deals! I'm a US 6 or 6.5, Euro 37. The good news is, there are usually plenty of shoes in our size! When I was a 7 or 7.5 they were always gone (popular size, I guess).2 -
@RelCanonical In my case it's self-preservation I can't walk in anything higher.
I'm awed at your shoe sale finds. Awesome deals! I'm a US 6 or 6.5, Euro 37. The good news is, there are usually plenty of shoes in our size! When I was a 7 or 7.5 they were always gone (popular size, I guess).
Welp, shoe twins, especially once I lose enough to fit into normal width again.
My best sale find was a $300 Calvin Klein peacoat for $35...that no longer fits at all. Lol. Well, I got to wear it for one season at least.3 -
RelCanonical wrote: »@RelCanonical In my case it's self-preservation I can't walk in anything higher.
I'm awed at your shoe sale finds. Awesome deals! I'm a US 6 or 6.5, Euro 37. The good news is, there are usually plenty of shoes in our size! When I was a 7 or 7.5 they were always gone (popular size, I guess).
Welp, shoe twins, especially once I lose enough to fit into normal width again.
My best sale find was a $300 Calvin Klein peacoat for $35...that no longer fits at all. Lol. Well, I got to wear it for one season at least.
No surprise we're shoe twins
I had a few things I was sad to shrink out of (mostly shoes) but overall I was so unhappy with my shape when I gained that I didn't enjoy shopping at all. So my 'wardrobe' was really just to cover my nakedness and hopefully hide the rolls. Now, on the other hand.... Well, let's just say I've probably spent more on clothes this month than my husband did on the used bass boat he just bought9 -
When I lost weight the first time my feet went down one full size from a 7.5 to a 6.5. That definitely came as a surprise to me. Now I'm about 25 pounds heavier than my lightest adult weight, no change in shoe size yet. Maybe my feet are as skinny as they're going to get???
I am both happy and annoyed at the clothes situation. Most of my clothes are either too big (but I wear them until someone says it's time to donate) or too small because I'm trying to fit into old clothes. I wore tighter jeans yesterday - today I'm in old ones that are hanging on my hips. I do not have a pair I like that actually fits correctly. I have bought one pair of capris and I believe I have a pair of shorts from a few years ago that will fit but otherwise I have nothing for spring/summer. I also don't want to buy too much because I'm hoping to drop another 10 or 15 pounds before it's time to really wear summer clothes. I have a ton of tshirts but I usually dress up for work, I don't believe I have any summer work shirts. I have slacks and a dress or two that I'm back in so I'm good there. It's so much easier to hide misfitting clothes in the winter.
Hops of soapbox. Happy Friday All!4 -
Has anybody else been asked if their weight loss is because of illness? I felt sort of hurt, but then remembered that the person asking me is a cancer survivor so I know the question was one of compassion.16
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RelCanonical wrote: »@RelCanonical In my case it's self-preservation I can't walk in anything higher.
I'm awed at your shoe sale finds. Awesome deals! I'm a US 6 or 6.5, Euro 37. The good news is, there are usually plenty of shoes in our size! When I was a 7 or 7.5 they were always gone (popular size, I guess).
Welp, shoe twins, especially once I lose enough to fit into normal width again.
My best sale find was a $300 Calvin Klein peacoat for $35...that no longer fits at all. Lol. Well, I got to wear it for one season at least.
No surprise we're shoe twins
I had a few things I was sad to shrink out of (mostly shoes) but overall I was so unhappy with my shape when I gained that I didn't enjoy shopping at all. So my 'wardrobe' was really just to cover my nakedness and hopefully hide the rolls. Now, on the other hand.... Well, let's just say I've probably spent more on clothes this month than my husband did on the used bass boat he just bought
Oh snap, dats some money. I have a shopping spree planned for goal weight. One of my regrets the last time I lost was procrastinating on shopping when I hit goal. I never got to enjoy new clothes, I had one dress for work and the rest were thrifted, which was fine but not the same. I have definitely developed a "style" this time around so thrifting hasn't been as fun because I'm so picky, lol.3 -
RelCanonical wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »@RelCanonical In my case it's self-preservation I can't walk in anything higher.
I'm awed at your shoe sale finds. Awesome deals! I'm a US 6 or 6.5, Euro 37. The good news is, there are usually plenty of shoes in our size! When I was a 7 or 7.5 they were always gone (popular size, I guess).
Welp, shoe twins, especially once I lose enough to fit into normal width again.
My best sale find was a $300 Calvin Klein peacoat for $35...that no longer fits at all. Lol. Well, I got to wear it for one season at least.
No surprise we're shoe twins
I had a few things I was sad to shrink out of (mostly shoes) but overall I was so unhappy with my shape when I gained that I didn't enjoy shopping at all. So my 'wardrobe' was really just to cover my nakedness and hopefully hide the rolls. Now, on the other hand.... Well, let's just say I've probably spent more on clothes this month than my husband did on the used bass boat he just bought
Oh snap, dats some money. I have a shopping spree planned for goal weight. One of my regrets the last time I lost was procrastinating on shopping when I hit goal. I never got to enjoy new clothes, I had one dress for work and the rest were thrifted, which was fine but not the same. I have definitely developed a "style" this time around so thrifting hasn't been as fun because I'm so picky, lol.
I figure I'm catching up on 5 years of not shopping. Almost done, though! I'm fairly set for work clothes and just need to pick up a few more casual items.2 -
1) Not really my NSV but I'm claiming a partial credit on this one!
My dear little six year old was asking me yesterday about my bike ride leader qualification (I think that this was because I went to a meeting to discuss plans for rides last night) anyway, I told her that once she had learned to ride a bike properly then she could go out with me when I lead a ride.
What I wasn't expecting was for her to go to our regular, weekly cycling session today (it's at an athletics track, so a safe environment to learn how to ride a bike in) and for her to absolutely nail it! Last week she couldn't cycle on a two wheeler and resorted to using on a three-wheeler, today she was cycling round the track on a two wheeler AND getting herself started off. A bit wobbly but that just needs a bit of practice.
And I also wasn't expecting her to remember what I'd said about going out together on a ride but after lunch she was asking when we were going out for our bike ride!
I am so thrilled about this, especially as she's also been out running with me three times this week (plus a parkrun on Saturday and a junior parkrun on Sunday).
Planning to take her out on Sunday afternoon, unless something crops up. Otherwise it will be on Monday, as I want her excitement and delight at being able to cycle to carry on and help her progress.
As for MY NSV, yesterday I decided to tackle a hill that had defeated me the last time I attempted it (about three years ago). It was one hell of a slog but I did it (only to find that the road at the top of the hill was closed, causing me a major detour but that's another story entirely). Then, at the meeting about planning a ride schedule, they decided to go an a bike ride beforehand - up the same hills! Twice in one day - the other cyclists were quite impressed but not half as impressed as I was.
I also signed up to assist on four rides as well, and once I've done my first aid course on Monday, I'll be able to plan my own rides!
Exciting times25 -
You get so so so much better at running and it becomes waaaaay easier. I wish I had known that hanging in there is so worth it!12
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RelCanonical wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »@RelCanonical In my case it's self-preservation I can't walk in anything higher.
I'm awed at your shoe sale finds. Awesome deals! I'm a US 6 or 6.5, Euro 37. The good news is, there are usually plenty of shoes in our size! When I was a 7 or 7.5 they were always gone (popular size, I guess).
Welp, shoe twins, especially once I lose enough to fit into normal width again.
My best sale find was a $300 Calvin Klein peacoat for $35...that no longer fits at all. Lol. Well, I got to wear it for one season at least.
No surprise we're shoe twins
I had a few things I was sad to shrink out of (mostly shoes) but overall I was so unhappy with my shape when I gained that I didn't enjoy shopping at all. So my 'wardrobe' was really just to cover my nakedness and hopefully hide the rolls. Now, on the other hand.... Well, let's just say I've probably spent more on clothes this month than my husband did on the used bass boat he just bought
Oh snap, dats some money. I have a shopping spree planned for goal weight. One of my regrets the last time I lost was procrastinating on shopping when I hit goal. I never got to enjoy new clothes, I had one dress for work and the rest were thrifted, which was fine but not the same. I have definitely developed a "style" this time around so thrifting hasn't been as fun because I'm so picky, lol.
I feel compelled to add now, it's not a really NICE boat or anything Just something to float around on. The local fish are still quite safe, and my closet isn't that big.10 -
Madwife2009 wrote: »1) Not really my NSV but I'm claiming a partial credit on this one!
My dear little six year old was asking me yesterday about my bike ride leader qualification (I think that this was because I went to a meeting to discuss plans for rides last night) anyway, I told her that once she had learned to ride a bike properly then she could go out with me when I lead a ride.
What I wasn't expecting was for her to go to our regular, weekly cycling session today (it's at an athletics track, so a safe environment to learn how to ride a bike in) and for her to absolutely nail it! Last week she couldn't cycle on a two wheeler and resorted to using on a three-wheeler, today she was cycling round the track on a two wheeler AND getting herself started off. A bit wobbly but that just needs a bit of practice.
And I also wasn't expecting her to remember what I'd said about going out together on a ride but after lunch she was asking when we were going out for our bike ride!
I am so thrilled about this, especially as she's also been out running with me three times this week (plus a parkrun on Saturday and a junior parkrun on Sunday).
Planning to take her out on Sunday afternoon, unless something crops up. Otherwise it will be on Monday, as I want her excitement and delight at being able to cycle to carry on and help her progress.
As for MY NSV, yesterday I decided to tackle a hill that had defeated me the last time I attempted it (about three years ago). It was one hell of a slog but I did it (only to find that the road at the top of the hill was closed, causing me a major detour but that's another story entirely). Then, at the meeting about planning a ride schedule, they decided to go an a bike ride beforehand - up the same hills! Twice in one day - the other cyclists were quite impressed but not half as impressed as I was.
I also signed up to assist on four rides as well, and once I've done my first aid course on Monday, I'll be able to plan my own rides!
Exciting times
Have just realised that I posted this in the wrong thread. Dur!
As they say, it's not you, it's me!
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becca_rup23 wrote: »That some days you just feel hungry all day! Maybe this is just me but I can do just fine within or very close to my calories goals most days but some days, even with healthy and filling foods, I'm just so so hungry. Today is one of those and I'm just trying to get through!
This is me today.. I feel like in one day I’ve just ruined everything and perhaps in the past I’d of thrown in the towel.. but hey it’s a new day tomorrow, and I’ve already planned my day.. some days I’m under my calories by a couple of hundred, some days I’m over, today I feel like I left it too long between meals and didn’t drink enough.. live and learn. Keep going with me XX12 -
This is me today.. I feel like in one day I’ve just ruined everything and perhaps in the past I’d of thrown in the towel.. but hey it’s a new day tomorrow, and I’ve already planned my day.. some days I’m under my calories by a couple of hundred, some days I’m over, today I feel like I left it too long between meals and didn’t drink enough.. live and learn. Keep going with me XX [/quote]
Needed this response today! I've been on spring break as a teacher and I've really been letting myself eat over my calories, but tomorrow is a new day, and if I've done it before I can do it again. We can do it!15 -
becca_rup23 wrote: »
This is me today.. I feel like in one day I’ve just ruined everything and perhaps in the past I’d of thrown in the towel.. but hey it’s a new day tomorrow, and I’ve already planned my day.. some days I’m under my calories by a couple of hundred, some days I’m over, today I feel like I left it too long between meals and didn’t drink enough.. live and learn. Keep going with me XX
Needed this response today! I've been on spring break as a teacher and I've really been letting myself eat over my calories, but tomorrow is a new day, and if I've done it before I can do it again. We can do it! [/quote]
The important thing is to go back and keep pushing ahead the way you’re doing it. We all experience what you are going through even the best of us believe me ! Press on. That’s what matters.
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TheRedQueen1981 wrote: »lleeann2001 wrote: »Umm how.come when you lose weight and you look good some people come to you and the FIRST thing they say is "Are you sick?"
Probably because it takes about a year for your face to tighten back up and not have the slight sag that does look like you may just been sick.
It is the common look after the flu or chemo skin sag.
Also, it happens to be that some people are sick and are offended when they are congratulated on looking better when they are actually dying. A coworker lost a ton Of weight, we all hoorayed for her and with her, and turns out she had major liver disease and was dead in a few months.lleeann2001 wrote: »Umm how.come when you lose weight and you look good some people come to you and the FIRST thing they say is "Are you sick?"
Probably because it takes about a year for your face to tighten back up and not have the slight sag that does look like you may just been sick.
It is the common look after the flu or chemo skin sag.
Also, it happens to be that some people are sick and are offended when they are congratulated on looking better when they are actually dying. A coworker lost a ton Of weight, we all hoorayed for her and with her, and turns out she had major liver disease and was dead in a few months.
I don’t understand why a couple of people thought this comment is ‘woo’?
A lot of people think 'woo' is for woohoo! It's a stupid button.
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