The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Day 9 and I feel much more confident that if I experience stress, to try other methods to relax instead of buying wine.
A warm shower, cup of herbal tea, going for a walk, early to bed, watch a film. I am far more 'tempted' now to try these approaches instead of buying wine. Result!
So happy for you. Also, thanks for the status updates... I've been really curious to see others progress. I would do the exact same thing when I was stressed... get some wine and guzzle it down... always made things worse later!
My anxiety has gotten better but obviously hasn't gone away... when I'm on the verge, I do breathing exercises, herbal teas as well, exercise and I recently tried the "Goodbye Stress" vitagummy from Olly which helped when I was having a panic attack. I believe it's all mind over matter, but sometimes my mind takes over.
I was tempted to get wine about 3 times in the last week, but resisted the urge. I just remember all the documentaries I've watched on alcohol and read the stats... makes me not want to even touch it. 50 days AF so far for me... woo!
50 days ? That is amazing. Being able to resist those urges must feel great. I think the real bummer about alcohol, it does actually work on a number of levels to make us feel good/better but it's so temporary and followed with a crash. It makes it not worth it. To know that it is an artificial elevation of mood makes a difference to my mind set, especially around drinking due to stress. It's simple.
What goes up, must come down. And if I drink (especially lots) then I know that I need to go through hell for like 2-3 days. That's how long a hangover can last me now. Fancy my chances with a herbal tea now thanks! 🍵🍶
Brilliant simple saying!
My hangovers are so bad too.
Tonight I asked my friend who drinks a lot, dont you have hangovers?? She said No not really.
I guess some people just don’t or their bodies are so used to having alcohol, there’s no down period. I just don’t know.
But the hangover part is becoming too debilitating; it’s just not worth the suffering.7 -
@RubyRed427, that’s what I would have said about hangovers too—“No, not really.” It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I realized how hangovers had just been my “normal” state.8
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@RubyRed427 @donimfp Exactly. I wouldn't sat I had hangovers either until I stopped drinking. Just because you don't have a headache and are sick to your stomach doesn't mean you aren't feeling the effects from the night before. I thought lethargy, tiredness, and feeling down were normal, morning feelings. Now I jump out of bed with a pep in my step. The difference is really stark.8
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@RubyRed427 @donimfp @JenT304 DITTO on the hangovers being the "normal" state.
I remember my ex husband used to say he never got a hangover and it was likely cause he always felt like crap in the a.m. and just didn't realize it...AND when he did wake up with his version of a "hangover" (which was likely horrible) he'd just open a beer & "the hair that bit the dog" did it's trick!7 -
@RubyRed427 I was so optimistic that your friend offered to support you, but not surprised that a stressful day made her "feel" like she needed the drinks more than she needed to support you. Disappointing for you, but also telling about your friend's level of dependence. Who knows how your good example may affect her in future. Certainly will give her some food for thought if she ever progresses to the point where she wants to stop.
Happy AF day
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One more blurb then off to work. My daughter is taking my grandson to the Dominican for a week. They are leaving this aft to go to Toronto, stay over in a hotel & then leave tomorrow morn on a 6 a.m. flight. I am SO excited for them. This is my daughter's first tropical vacation and she is surprising my grandson who is 11 yrs old with the trip...he thinks they are going to TO to visit her step-brother who is my grandson's fave uncle, but they are going to spring it on him tonight that the 3 of them are going on this trip. I told her to video his reaction.
Part of why I am so excited is because she was supposed do a trip to Mexico for the past couple of years with her former alcoholic boyfriend and for varying reasons, it never materialized due to his part (more like lack of) which we can all guess how that played out over & over...needless to say she made the mistake of getting my grandson jacked up for those supposed trips and then had to soften the blow when they had to cancel...Of course, if they were able to have made the other trip with boyfriend in tow, my excitement would have been muted because it would have been a drinking-fest for him & for sure some drama for them...BUT NOW She is now FREE of her former boyfriend & all his drama and has been planning this trip for the past 6 months...and tomorrow is D-day for them....the resort she chose is very kid friendly with tons of activities and they will have a blast together
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@lorrainequiche59 Wonderful! I am sure they will have a magical time!4
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Morning all, Lorraine,I was a "hair of the dog" person like your ex,I just couldn't handle the hangover! My mom is in her 60's and so is my coworker and they seriously don't get hungover! I don't know how,I'll be laying there feeling like I need an IV drip and an oxygen mask and my mom would be like"wanna go to yard sales?" Ugh no I don't wanna go to yard sales! I wanna go to the hospital where I feel I belong haha
I think some people's bodies just process it differently,who knows,who cares I don't want that feeling again ever! Congrats on the milestones,my app says 90 days but I know that's when the real work starts for me,that feeling of wow I've gone this long I'm cured comes in,ugh,keep going! Have a Fab AF day 12 -
HAHAHA!! Hair that bit the dog?? I think the expression is "hair of the dog that bit YOU!!" Oh well, y'all know what I meant.
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I have a lovely weekend planned. My painting is in a juried art show, so I’ll go to the reception. I’ll be DD for my wino girlfriends on Saturday night for a birthday party, BUT best will be Sunday Mother’s Day and My son’s 21st birthday.
You know I wouldn’t DARE drink Saturday night and risk being sick on Sunday. It would kill me if I had a hangover on my son’s special day. Therefore, I love him enough not to drink and ruin it. Family can be a great motivator, that’s for sure.
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@RubyRed427 I agree about the not wanting to risk being sick on Mother's Day and your sons birthday. My daughter is coming in from London on Sunday and I want to be fresh and remember every single second of her visit. Our times together are so rare and precious...we haven't seen her since Christmas, and I want to make the most of it. She will be with us for 5 days and it will probably be the only time in her life that I will be completely dry. Watching a ton of videos and reading online about the negative effects of alcohol is really sinking in for me. At this point, I can't imagine even having or more importantly, WANTING a drink.6
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My daughter, her bro & my grandson are in the air as we speak...IF their flight left on time, they are half-way there. She posted a video on FB of the reveal of where they are headed and my grandson was in shock a bit!! It makes me smile just thinking about it....he called me after they told him & was over-the-moon excited!! I love when others are excited cause it is contagious and I get to share in their excitement...no FB posts on this vaycay tho, my daughter said she's unplugging for the entire week and will only take photos with her phone...how did I happen to raise such a smart woman...hmmmm???? She's worked really hard and deserves this break. SO proud of her!!!9
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This is a good article on why we get a big belly when we drink. Very motivating for my weight loss/sobriety goals.
https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/wine-belly-fat-and-women/3 -
Hello all - This thread is pretty aligned with my goals (I'm really looking to abstain not just restrain) so I'm hoping to join in the conversation. Long and short I've recommitted to my health and have a significant amount of weight to lose. Over the years alcohol has just become such a normal part of daily life....work success? Lets go for drinks! Stressful day? Have a drink. etc. It's been a significant contributor to the weight I've gained over the years and the hard fact is I need to lose over 100 lbs and that's not going to happen with alcohol in my diet. I don't feel dependent - I'm fine just not drinking - but it has been a part of my regular routine for a very long time and if I do start I struggle with an off switch . I'm breaking habits and this one is right on the shelf next to my pasta habit. Also, the older you get the harder you fall and I just don't want to feel like garbage. So anyway for me this is day 5 AF. I made it through my first obstacle this week...not buying that routine regular bottle of wine at the grocery store on my way home from work just cause I'm stopping for something else and why not? (seriously what kind of reasoning is that!). I'm going in to my first weekend on my eating, fitness and AF plan. One thing that is really helping me is thinking about all of the money I'm going to save not buying alcohol.10
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Hi everyone! Sorry that I haven’t posted for awhile! We are in Italy. I was a bit concerned about coming on this trip and my temptation to drink. I have had wine here and there, but nothing like before. I am happy of my progress that I made months prior to this trip.
Best to all! 💃👍👏
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RubyRed427 wrote: »SweatsOnSunday wrote: »I've been suffering through a few weirdly anxious days, about something that is seriously improbable. I have not had a bout like this for some time.
Anyone else have a brain that sometimes will not turn off? How do you deal with it --- without alcohol?
Meditation and yoga. But especially meditation. “Insight timer” app for iPhone has fabulous guided meditations. Even if your mind drifts, it’s ok. You will build endurance.
Love ❤️ “Insight timer”!
Prayers to you regarding your son and agree!
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This is a good article on why we get a big belly when we drink. Very motivating for my weight loss/sobriety goals.
https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/wine-belly-fat-and-women/
That is true "Chardonnay syndrome"
It even looks like a sugary drink.4 -
Two months, 1 day ~ Today is day 61... Over two months without a drop. Haven't had a dream about it in a while. Weight is coming down nicely, workout is killing it. Little bit of a test last night... at the two month mark. Dad comes out with his regular Scotch rocks, mom and wife come out with wine. I'm like "WTFT?" (What The French, Toast?) My wife rarely drinks. First one I've seen her with since I've quit... At this point in the evening is when I would hit my dad's liquor cabinet and beat poor old Jim Beam in to submission. Stuck with water, a salad, and salmon.
Congrats to everyone on their wins, welcome to the newbs, prayers for those struggling...
Day 61 ~ Almost getting too easy... I told my friend yesterday, I better not let my guard down. I keep expecting a call from the Jim Beam distillery, wondering what happened to their profit margin, offering me free bourbon to come back, corporate sponsorship to be on the drinking team. Surprised we haven't noticed this on the Dow.
Later Taters! Y'all have an awesome AF weekend! See you Tuesday!9 -
Oh yeah, @Sunshinelinzee, Good to have you on here with us! You'll be amazed how much easier the weight comes off without the booze. Welcome aboard...8
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@Sunshinelinzee Welcome welcome!! The drinking habit gets the best of us and this is a great place to get the support you need to change it
@kevinrfletcher LOL You are doing awesome! 61 days already...woohoo!!
@JenT304 Thank you for that article. More incentive to stay AF. Have a great visit with your daughter 5 -
Thanks for the welcome... yesterday was a success. I’m doing an awful project at work and I’ve been working on it all week. I really wanted to finish it but it’s just not there yet. By the end of the day I was feeling pretty frustrated, tired and zonked out from staring at a screen (and it was raining so that didn’t help). And it was Friday. Yesterday would have been a prime grab some wine on the way home day (and give up and order takeout) and I’ll admit I did think about it for a hot second but actively changed my mind. Freezer meal (homemade, I meal prep) and a nice ginger lemon herbal tea.
So here it is, starting day 6 AF. The sun is shining, I’m up at 6:30 am, getting ready to get my workout in and looking forward to enjoying the day.... probably with a nice home brewed unsweetened ice tea (I do actually like unsweetened tea😉). Have a great day all!7 -
Happy Saturday, Everyone! Welcome to the family, @Sunshinelinzee!5
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@Sunshinelinzee UNSWEETENED TEA?????? I'm sorry, we can no longer be friends... I can tolerate political differences, religious differences, really, just about anything, but unsweetened tea? It pains me to even write it...
Ok, truth, I gave up sweet tea a while back. Nothing with added sugar. Big fan of green tea now... who would have thunk it? But, this is the south, so I have to put on a show.
Congrats on day 6!!!
Day 62 ~ Think I stretched my Achilles tendon in a run during the workout last evening... Heel is killing me to walk. CURSE THIS GETTING OLD CRAP!!! I refuse to acknowledge it.... I am 21, I am 21, I am 21. Nope, still hurts. Hope y'all have a great AF weekend. If you're an old Zeppelin fan, as I am, and you haven't heard of them (some of us do still live under rocks) check out Greta van Fleet, "Highway Tune"... it's what Zep would have been if they still made new music, and stayed young, which, APPARENTLY, is impossible to do.
Ciao babies...3 -
kevinrfletcher wrote: »@Sunshinelinzee UNSWEETENED TEA?????? I'm sorry, we can no longer be friends... I can tolerate political differences, religious differences, really, just about anything, but unsweetened tea? It pains me to even write ..
Haha I have a deep appreciation for the sweet tea of the south.... alas I live in the far reaches of the northeast....where it’s winter 8 months out of the year and the other seasons are dedicated to mud, road construction and tourists. Our sweet tea just isn’t that good to begin with 🤪
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I think its day 70..though it bothers me I cant count it as 5 months because of 2 missed days for Jan and Feb. Still feeling prouder than a peacock.
I just started a job and theres constant talk about drinking... Different kinds of beer they had the night before..which was my favorite beverage of choice.
One of my superiors came in yesterday with quite a hangover. So some of them disappeared for a loong lunch and she came back and reaked of hard booze. So I guess the point is while I still miss beer and miss having a relationship with my husband (thats another story), I dont miss being owned to the pain and suffering of the hangovers. Have a great weekend.10 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Hi guys & gals, day 13 on the Alcohol Experiment. Things are going good. I am starting to look to the future & think about my attempt to moderate. I'm even asking myself 'do I even want to attempt it?'.
I read something today that has struck a chord. An article stating that white wine especially, (my drink of choice), can cause rosacea. And facial flushing. I have, for a long time now, developed facial flushing & red blotches when I start drinking alcohol. (9x out of 10 will be white wine). This will gradually fade as I continue to drink.
The flushing can also be a sign of 'alcohol intolerance'. To think I have seen these blatant physical signs and ignored them just cos I wanted to carry on drinking, has opened my eyes & got me thinking.
I think if I do attempt moderation, white wine will have to go.
Hope everyone is having a great AF day. 😌
Wine has been my primary drink of choice for years. It 100% makes me flush (actually all alcohol does but wine is the worst) and is a huge contributor to my facial redness which is basically mild rosacea. It’s not the only contributing factor but it’s a major offender for sure. I’m pretty fair, pushing 40, overweight, have autoimmune issues from Lyme which mostly effect my skin and spend a lot of time outdoors in the sun but nothing makes me flush quite as bad as alcohol except maybe anxiety which I don’t often suffer from.
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@FeelinFooFoo My dermatologist told me I had rosacea and put me on this ridiculously expensive medicine...like $400.00 a tube (my insurance covered but they were not happy). I do not have rosacea...I drank too much wine. I can't believe she didn't ask me my drinking habits before prescribing this stuff. Anyway it's no longer an issue. My skin looks so much better now that alcohol has been eliminated.
For those of you that can drink in moderation, good on ya. I have just tried more times than I can count and I just slide right back into the whole wine bottle. Like smoking, I can't have just one. I truly wish I was wired like people that can drink in moderation, I'm just not.8 -
I read somewhere recently (can't remember where or I'd give the writer credit) that trying to moderate drinking means you never get to the "good part" but stay in the difficult part forever. I understood that because even at day 43, I'm still feeling like I'm in the difficult stage where alcohol just takes up too much mental real estate. If I try to moderate, then drinking is all I ever think of (when, where, how much . . .). I'm really looking forward to that time when I can pretty much go a whole day without alcohol even crossing my mind. I know that will never happen for me if I just limit my alcohol rather than giving it up completely. I'm only speaking for myself. I know people who only have occasional drinks and do just find with that. For me, it's just too late to un-pickle the cucumber.8
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@donimfp I think that was on one of the sober school blogs. I remember reading that myself. It was something about "if you are only dry Monday through Thursday you never get the real impact of going AF...of what it really feels like to dry out a good long time". Something to that effect. And that is awesome that you are on day 43!! Way to go, Girl!4
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@donimfp Congrats on day 43!!!
There is no moderation for me. If I could, I would have years ago. I've quit before, always with the "when I get this beat, I'll start back in moderation" attitude. Doing this like I did cigarettes back in '88. Aug 1st, 1988 I picked as the day I no longer was a smoker... So, March 10th, 2019 is the day I am no longer a drinker. Every drink I've been offered since, I've turned down flat, and told people how long I've been sober, and that I can't go back to where I was... It's amazing how understanding everyone has been.6
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