Unexpected downsides of losing weight
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The only downside I've found so far is not being able to fit into a lot of my old clothes. I hate having to spend the money to buy new stuff, I also hate that cute things I have can't be worn anymore. I bought a dress on a good sale in February, it's far too big on me now and either I have to pay for alterations or get rid of it.
I've definitely been hitting up goodwill daily to save some money. I also check out final-call sales at places like Macy's and JCPenney. They've got some good deals, although I suppose it would depend on your style.1 -
My bras don't fit anymore. My back pain is starting to become crippling. But I can't afford replacements. The only place that carries my size is both pricey and overseas.
And honestly I'm probably worse to fit now. My band size is down but not my cup size, and it's hard to find a smaller band with a big enough cup.
I might try to switch to cheap sports bras for a while. They aren't flattering but tend to be easier to find.
Figures my weight came off my ribs first.7 -
My bras don't fit anymore. My back pain is starting to become crippling. But I can't afford replacements. The only place that carries my size is both pricey and overseas.
And honestly I'm probably worse to fit now. My band size is down but not my cup size, and it's hard to find a smaller band with a big enough cup.
I might try to switch to cheap sports bras for a while. They aren't flattering but tend to be easier to find.
Figures my weight came off my ribs first.
I did the sports bra thing for a bit. Definitely helped with the comfort, but not as flattering under clothes. It didn't bother me too much so I stuck with them until I found a really good sale.2 -
@Terytha check out uniqlo.com. Their basic bra is inexpensive, and low maintenance. I wash and dry them in dryer with no problem. They are pullover style so don’t have hooks, but they look like dressier bras. I’ve worked out in them and even run in them a couple of times and was surprised at the support.
The reviews in the site aren’t good, but that’s because buyers (including me) were mad they changed the design earlier this year. Still, like them better than any other bra I’ve ever worn.
The only thing I don’t care for is that they are cut higher in the front so they show if you are wearing a V neck. On the plus side though, the straps seem to fit reasonably well under my tanks and sleeveless shirts. No peekaboo straps, which makes me mental.
Incredibly comfy bra.1 -
My boobs. I miss my boobs.
My office chair is too hard now that I am loosing my padding.
Who would have thought my feet would shrink? I refuse to wear my 12 year old's shoes but I can.
I am so cold. Always.
I can look down at my feet and see I spent the day in mis-matched socks. I was happier not knowing.
Sleeping in my side hurts my hip and knees. (Sleeping on my stomach is now a thing)
I have to smile all of the time or my face looks like I'm frowning. When did I develop resting b*tch face?
But over-all, I know I feel better, I think I look better, and it really isn't that hard to smile.12 -
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Lillymoo01 wrote: »MelanieCN77 wrote: »I guess it depends on the person- for me plus size is closer to the facts whereas vanity sizing carries a negative connotation because nobody aspires to be vain.
The manufacturers aren't saying "here are some vanity sizes" and expecting people to go, oh that's me, and buy a thing. It's a name applied to something they gradually did over time that the average public didn't even know about, because they sold more items labeled size 4 to size 8 people, because those people were delighted to see they fit into a size 4 all of a sudden - describing that as practice as vanity sizing is clear and appropriate. It has NOTHING to do with what range of sizes are available. If you keep insisting that calling it weird because who would aspire to that, you're still missing the point.
I have to say I’m bitterly disappointed by the reaction to my posts on vanity sizing in here. I would have thought if anyone would understand what it’s like to be out of the normal size range and feel vilified for it, it would be people on here. I mean really, everyone on here has felt the need to lose weight and become a smaller size, that’s why we’re on here. I was just advocating being kind to others who haven’t lost that weight yet and the reaction to my comments really amazes me. Very sad.
I am sorry that you are bitterly disappointed by the reaction here but the problem is that we don't understand. I know the term vanity sizing upsets you but I really don't see why, unless you do not comprehend its meaning. Being plus-sized and vanity sizing are two totally different things. I do not feel vilified because of the vanity sizing label and didn't when I was larger. In fact, I found vanity sizing to be the opposite. I much prefered buying a size 16-18, when in reality, 20 years ago that sizing would have been a 20-22 instead. It meant I could kid myself with how much weight I was actually putting on. Only now do I find it a problem. Being under 5 foot it means that it is very difficult to find clothes that fit without resorting to the children's/teen department. While manufacturers have made clothing sizes larger to accommodate our growing waistlines, they are no longer making them as small.
Is it possible that you are confusing vanity sizing with those that talk of wanting to lose vanity pounds? Those that are a healthy weight but want to lose that little bit extra, for a body they much prefer the look of? This actually has nothing to do with vanity sizing.
I have tried to explain why this term upsets me, sorry if it’s still not clear but I don’t know how else to explain it. I never said that plus-sized and vanity sizes were the same thing, and I explicitly said I did not mean by my comments that smaller people should not be able to get clothes. I don’t think I’m confusing vanity sizing with vanity pounds either, I’m aware of the difference there.
I just don’t like the word “vanity” in vanity sizing because to me it implies that there is something wrong with manufacturers making clothing bigger at the same size to suit the population’s getting bigger, and puts people who need that down. I’d just rather we called it some else rather than vanity, because it’s not vanity to want clothes that fit.
But it IS vanity to want the clothes that fit to have a certain size on the label. There IS a problem with wanting to lie to yourself that you haven’t got bigger because you can still fit into a size 10 - and for clothing manufacturers to go along with that.
It also makes shopping in charity shops, or for vintage clothes, really frustrating. There is nothing good or useful about changing the meaning of ‘size 10’ over time.
I don’t agree - I needed vanity sizing when I was really fat because that meant I could fit into the standard range. It wasn’t about kidding myself, I knew I had put on weight, and I didn’t care what size was on the label I just needed to be able to buy clothes that would do up. As I’ve said elsewhere I’m tall and plus size stores, at least here in Australia, do not cater to tall women, so I don’t think it was vanity to opt for a big size 16 that fitted instead of a non-existent size 18 or 20.
I do suppose all you considered was yourself in this scenario. Sure, just make all the sizes bigger but call them the same size. Pity that poor soul who's a small or an extra small, now THEY can't go into the store and find something that fits them anymore because all the smalls have been turned into mediums to accommodate larger clientele.
No honey, you NEEDED extended sizes. Adding size 18 and 20 would cover you, and still leave properly fitting clothing for smaller customers as well. It is pure vanity for wanting a size 20 pant but wanting it to be called a 16.
Your logic boggles me.32 -
I've lost all the fat on my butt. My tailbone hurts whenever I sit.7
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I've lost all the fat on my butt. My tailbone hurts whenever I sit.
Mine still hurts, after a few months at maintenance. My husband laughed at me, but after a 3-hr Uno game spent sitting on our hard dining suite chairs (all right for the duration of a meal, but not Uno, apparently) I bought a seat cushion.
Added bonus, it makes me taller
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I've lost all the fat on my butt. My tailbone hurts whenever I sit.
Mine still hurts, after a few months at maintenance. My husband laughed at me, but after a 3-hr Uno game spent sitting on our hard dining suite chairs (all right for the duration of a meal, but not Uno, apparently) I bought a seat cushion.
Added bonus, it makes me taller
3 hour UNO? Holy cow. (BTW, there is going to be a BTS-themed UNO game coming out. KPOP UNO.)
My elbows are the annoying bony holdouts. I just can't get used to chair arms anymore.3 -
RelCanonical wrote: »I've lost all the fat on my butt. My tailbone hurts whenever I sit.
Mine still hurts, after a few months at maintenance. My husband laughed at me, but after a 3-hr Uno game spent sitting on our hard dining suite chairs (all right for the duration of a meal, but not Uno, apparently) I bought a seat cushion.
Added bonus, it makes me taller
3 hour UNO? Holy cow. (BTW, there is going to be a BTS-themed UNO game coming out. KPOP UNO.)
My elbows are the annoying bony holdouts. I just can't get used to chair arms anymore.
We were playing by some vicious rules. Stacking Draw 2s and Draw 4 Wilds makes for a lot of reshuffling the deck
I have bony elbows too. It's the bony shoulders I really can't get used to!1 -
brittanystebbins95 wrote: »I'm a corrections officer and my duty belt rides right on my hips and digs into my hip bones. I'm constantly trying to hike it up or else it hurts.
...
I'm a construction engineer and lots of trades guys also have heavy belts. They usually get straps for them that go across the shoulders and take the weight off the hips and place it in the shoulders where it really belongs. Think a Sam Browne type of belt.
If that can go with your uniform then it would be good, if not then perhaps put it forward as an idea for a health and safety issue. (A well supported belt would be harder for an inmate to remove and would keep your items in place where they can be easily deployed without having to search for them in a situation but on the other hand the shoulder straps would be a means for an inmate to grab you and control you.)3 -
erekstrusinski1989 wrote: »I can relate to the thing about people trying to shove food and desserts at me. Same since I quit alcohol. Also quit smoking a couple weeks ago and have people pushing nicotine replacements on me even though im already completely nicotine free. Some people are just really dumb and that will never change because it's a whole 50% of the population.
But about the food thing, I used to get seconds and thirds at family meals, and now they tend to take offense if I stick to just one portion and say no to dessert, as if their cooking isn't good enough for me anymore just because I'm not an absolute pig about it these days.
I have never had friends or family pushing food on me. Ironically my family will sometimes randomly ask what foods can I eat or not eat, which I find funny because they know I just eat regular food.0 -
MrsBradyBunch wrote: »Not that I'm trying to put a negative spin on it or anything, but I'm thinking "forewarned is forearmed." Better to expect these things and be mentally prepared when they happen. I'm seeing a few. Be it known, however, that the benefits are far greater and make it worthwhile.
So, the unexpected downsides:
1.) You may feel cold a lot, even when nobody else is. I never did like wearing heavy fabrics and layers. But I have to. It's late May, I'm in long sleeves and jeans with socks on, and I'm chilly. I feel more like it's late November.
2.) That infamous Shar Pei sag. Your body shrinks, but your skin doesn't. Your stomach hangs down in front of you like an apron, and you develop "bat wings." If I wave hello or goodbye to somebody, my upper arm flaps will keep waving five minutes after I stop. I even have mini bat wings on my *lower* arms.
3.) People will, not may but will, "concern troll" you. Some with good intentions, and some with malice because they're threatened by your success, will try to coax you to "live a little" or "not be such a fanatic." You're not even out of the "obese" category yet, and they warn you not to "get too skinny." They act like they're afraid you're going to develop anorexia if you keep losing weight. You will have people shoving desserts at you, having difficulty taking "no" for an answer. I, for one, find I'm not experiencing nearly as much of this as I used to. I don't know why, for sure, but I'm thinking it's because I finally got mad enough that I made it clear I won't be putting up with that anymore. So, for the most part, it stopped.
And probably the one that bugs me the most:
4.) When you've made a lot of progress, but you've still got a way to go, this will start happening. Someone who didn't know you when you were heavier will see you making healthy choices, eating vegetables, passing up that dessert, and exercising. They don't know about the weight you've lost already. They only see the weight you still need to lose. So they assume you're just beginning, and here comes the unsolicited and completely unnecessary advice. They'll inform you that you need to "start" doing things you've been doing for a good year now. Or they'll tell you you're doing it wrong, and you should be doing something else instead. Try to tell them how long you've been at it, and how many pounds you've lost, and it doesn't register. They don't even care what your doctor or your dietician says. They'll straight up argue with your results.
Does anyone have any others? What should I prepare myself for?
Personally, I think the good will outway the bad. I can deal with wings if I can fit into a booth and walk about with being out of breath. I'm also working on toning so hoping that will help.
Related to number 4. I had a coworker who really did not know me indirectly ask me why I was the size I was and she sees me eating so healthy. I showed a picture of when I was 200 lbs heavier. She was taken aback4 -
I'm practically gaunt in the face and upper body, but still fat in the lower body. People tell me you even out after a couple years but ugh ugh ugh.
I can also see why people comment and think you've lost too much weight when parts of you are all bones.
I think this kinda happened to me, but I was so big that of course my face got smaller. You can see my collar bone and I can feel my ribs now but the bottom part is a different story.2 -
I do have hanging skin and I am old! At this age I do not give a rat's *kitten* what people think. I am losing weight for myself and my health7
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erekstrusinski1989 wrote: »I can relate to the thing about people trying to shove food and desserts at me. Same since I quit alcohol. Also quit smoking a couple weeks ago and have people pushing nicotine replacements on me even though im already completely nicotine free. Some people are just really dumb and that will never change because it's a whole 50% of the population.
But about the food thing, I used to get seconds and thirds at family meals, and now they tend to take offense if I stick to just one portion and say no to dessert, as if their cooking isn't good enough for me anymore just because I'm not an absolute pig about it these days.
I have never had friends or family pushing food on me. Ironically my family will sometimes randomly ask what foods can I eat or not eat, which I find funny because they know I just eat regular food.
I get it. To my wife and in-laws (who also live with us), food = love. If they offer me food and I turn it down, they take it as a very personal rejection. "But I made this for you! You don't have to log it, it's healthy! Why are you rejecting my care?!" I'll explain that there's nothing wrong with their food, I just have to limit how much I eat, and they'll say "Next time we'll know."
Except that next time they won't know, and the whole process starts over again like it's the first time they're hearing it. There's a life-long emotional and cultural connection with food there that logic and reason can't overcome.10 -
I have had great luck at thrift stores and consignment shops, and Goodwill, as long as I focus on high-end brands and classic styles.3
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You shopped there.
As for carrying a wider range of sizes being more expensive than making the narrower range bigger - why are you ignoring option 3, carrying the same number of sizes, but 8-18 (say) rather than 6-16?
1. I did not think of option 3 when I was writing my response.
2. I did not shop in many, many shops because I thought their clothes were too small for me. I had not been to some of them in years so I would not have known if they had suddenly added a size 18.
And if you would not have known if those shops had added a size 18, you definitely wouldn't have known if their size 16 had become large enough for you. So their upsizing of existing sizes wouldn't have helped you or anyone else in your position at all, would it?
Look, I’m sick of debating this. I’ve tried hard to explain why I am offended by this term, and no one seems to understand what I’m saying. I think I’m entitled to hold my opinion without getting flamed for it. I’m not going to engage you any further on this. I haven’t changed my view based on your arguments and you don’t seem to be changing yours based on what I’m saying, so I guess we will have to agree to disagree. I’m hurt that you think I’m vain but I’m also sick of trying to make my point.
No one has flamed you. You've been misunderstanding the concept and they've been trying to make you understand.5 -
I apologize in advance if this has been discussed further than the op adding it to her list of frustrations but, as far as loose skin, is there anything that can be done while losing weight to prevent that from happening? I have only lost 15 lbs so far (without exercise, but that's about to start), but I still have another 55 to go to be where I want to be. I JUST had a discussion about this with my husband a few days ago. Has anyone successfully accomplished this, without surgery? Thanks!0
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aprildawn81 wrote: »I apologize in advance if this has been discussed further than the op adding it to her list of frustrations but, as far as loose skin, is there anything that can be done while losing weight to prevent that from happening? I have only lost 15 lbs so far (without exercise, but that's about to start), but I still have another 55 to go to be where I want to be. I JUST had a discussion about this with my husband a few days ago. Has anyone successfully accomplished this, without surgery? Thanks!
Don't worry, it is a common concern worth repeating. Loose skin occurrence is based on many factors, some of which are out of your control. The slower you go, the less likely you are to have loose skin. Keeping the skin moisturizer and healthy can help improve the appearance of loose skin. Two big factors out of our control are age and genetics (skin type and also where you carry your fat). The older you are, the more likely you are to have loose skin due to less elasticity in the skin. The more weight you carry in one area, the more likely you are to have loose skin in that area (e.g. Apple-shaped people are more likely to have loose skin in the stomach compared to those who are pear or straight up and down). The more overall weight you have to lose, the more likely you are to have loose skin. Generally, the people who have obvious loose skin from weight loss have lost over 100 pounds, although that doesn't mean those who have less to lose won't suffer loose skin.
Most important to note, it is all likeliness (no guarantees of good or bad results) and very individual. You may fare better or worse than others of similar shapes, so focus on the things you can control, like losing slowly and keeping your skin healthy.0 -
aprildawn81 wrote: »I apologize in advance if this has been discussed further than the op adding it to her list of frustrations but, as far as loose skin, is there anything that can be done while losing weight to prevent that from happening? I have only lost 15 lbs so far (without exercise, but that's about to start), but I still have another 55 to go to be where I want to be. I JUST had a discussion about this with my husband a few days ago. Has anyone successfully accomplished this, without surgery? Thanks!
Mine pretty much went away with time, after losing around 50 pounds, even at age 59-60. It kept shrinking well into year 2 of maintenance for sure, and possibly beyond.
Though results do vary by individual, I think many people anticipate more loose skin than will really be the case in the long run. If you go into the Success Stories part of the forum, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by how little loose skin many people actually have, sometimes after quite substantial weight loss. (In the threads there, many people share photos of their real results, sometimes including bathing suit photos.)
A couple of things:
1. Some of us look worse part way to goal than we will at goal weight (I did).This is because fat can deplete anywhere in the fat mass - it doesn't just melt off the outer layer, then proceed neatly inward. A fat area can go from being a somewhat firm (if jiggly) fat mass, to being kind of floppy or squishy. This stage can look alarming, but it doesn't last. As fat loss continues, those areas deplete more. It's a little like a water balloon: Firm and rounded when full of water, but if you let some water out (without letting air in), it gets floppy and squishy, but it's still stretched. Let out all the water, it flattens out, and the balloon can shrink more.
2. That squishy fat can be enough to conspire with gravity to keep the skin stretched out, until it's fully depleted (or close). That means that skin may not really be able to start shrinking much until the fat is nearly all gone, close to or at goal weight. True loose skin is thin wrinkles, like the wrinkles in fabric (think about how thick a layer of skin is if you pinch it up on a bony body part, like back of hand or kneecap: thin). Rolls or folds of 1/2" or more still have some subcutaneous fat, which limits shrinking. So, at an extreme, skin starts to shrink right about the time we're approaching goal weight, then it's a slow process.
What can help? Well, skin is an organ. The healthier the skin is, the more likely it will be to be willing to shrink back. What makes skin healthy? The same things that make other organs healthy: Not losing weight crazy fast in the first place (creates physical stress if we lose super fast); sound, well-balanced nutrition; healthy exercise (strength and cardiovascular), adequate hydration.
So, do what you can to stay healthy, and hope to see reasonable progress in skin over time, with patience.
These days (year 3 of maintenance), people who've just met me are visibly shocked (not just politely surprised) when I say I was obese as recently as 2015. This suggests to me that even at age 63, I don't have huge problems with visible artifacts of weight loss like loose skin. Genetics are a big variable in this, but so, typically, is age.
I suggest not stressing about it for now, then waiting to see how you look at goal, and beyond. Many people will have better results than they expect. Why borrow trouble and worry from the future, purely on speculation? And don't worry if things are a little scary part way to goal. It's reasonable to expect improvement at goal, and beyond.
Best wishes!
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This has been going on for months now. Does anyone know if there are any weight lifting exercises that are good for increasing the muscle down there? I figure squats probably but that can't be it. I can literally feel my tailbone and pelvis.0 -
RelCanonical wrote: »aprildawn81 wrote: »I apologize in advance if this has been discussed further than the op adding it to her list of frustrations but, as far as loose skin, is there anything that can be done while losing weight to prevent that from happening? I have only lost 15 lbs so far (without exercise, but that's about to start), but I still have another 55 to go to be where I want to be. I JUST had a discussion about this with my husband a few days ago. Has anyone successfully accomplished this, without surgery? Thanks!
Generally, the people who have obvious loose skin from weight loss have lost over 100 pounds, although that doesn't mean those who have less to lose won't suffer loose skin.
I got loose skin after 30 pounds. When I was younger it always snapped back. Now it isn't. I'm told keeping the weight off for a few years will improve it, but obviously I'm not going to have the same results I did 20 years ago.
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One downside I've noticed is that recently I got sick and had a stomach bug and people seem to only be able to say "Oh, at least you're losing weight!" No one would say that to a thin person. Makes me feel like I'm nothing but a weight to people.15
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One downside I've noticed is that recently I got sick and had a stomach bug and people seem to only be able to say "Oh, at least you're losing weight!" No one would say that to a thin person. Makes me feel like I'm nothing but a weight to people.
That sucks. People can be so cruel.3 -
I still find my face odd. I noticed the only pictures I have of myself since losing weight are gym selfies, I feel really comfortable there. I need a headshot for work and I'm somehow uncomfortable with it.4
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the hurts to sit thing is a huge. seriously, i even still have a "booty" but man it hurts to sit.
I don't think it's all related to weight loss but the last year i've been struggling with lots of aches and pain in various parts of my body. In fact i've rarely been this inactive (other than walking) due to physical issues. I've been to a number of doctors, chiros, sport doctor, physios. xrays. and still bleh. Knees, hips, legs in general. and recently lower back and major coccyx pain.2 -
Those of you complaining about your rears... I was massive fat and my padding back there NEVER increased. Sometimes it felt like I was sitting with all my weight directly on my coccyx.3
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Spadesheart wrote: »NOTHING FITS, AND I CAN'T BUY CLOTHES UNTIL I REACH GOAL WEIGHT.
I have lost 50 pounds, and i have 20ish to go. None of my clothes fit anymore. It sounds like a humble brag, but it's legitimately an issue. I wear suits to work, and the pant's all look like tents so I have to wear more casual pants along with the rest of the get up.
And there's no point in buying anything yet, as the way the weight loss has gone has left a great deal of it on my belly and chest. Everything I lose moving forward is making a pretty dramatic difference to my size, so I feel like I'll be like 4-5 inches smaller at the chest and tummy by goal. Sigh.
Well you have to have clothes. It takes a long time to lose that much weight. I went through several "Goodwill wardrobes" while losing 150. And buy things with stretch and a flexible fit so they last awhile.
Wrap dresses seem to last longer than other clothing. I am wearing a lot of dresses now since I can wear them through more weight loss than I can a pair of pants. I don't know how you have made it that far without having to get anything yet. I only have lost 30 and my clothes were quite honestly falling off already.2
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