The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

Morning friends, I don't have any problem with m.j my kids all smoke and I'd rather have them do that than drink! Alcohol is something that effects every cell in our bodies and it's harsh on our systems I don't care what anyone says or tries to argue,not sure if we're allowed to talk about it here (don't think so) so thats all I'll write on that topic,doing ok here,still analyzing what causes me to drink after being off of it for awhile,just bugs me cuz I feel if I've had a sober streak why not just keep it up? Off to read the Chardonnay article,wishes for a fab AF day 💗

4 months and 2 days since I touched Alcohol. Quit it cold turkey when I started the journey of losing 100 lbs.

@lorrainequiche59, I'm sure we will all be thinking of you tomorrow!

Another cool thing about Dick Van D . . . yke is that the interview you recommend was in 1974, and I saw him interviewed last year when he was 92, talking about how he and his wife love to dance in the living room. He is such a young 92! I doubt that would have been the case had he not stopped drinking over 45 years ago. Motivation!

Hi just come across this amazing thread. What a great idea just what I need right now. Thank you for sharing 👌

Good afternoon to everyone. I have been sober since March 17, 2007. I found my way through the book Alcoholic's Anonymous... not the meetings but the program in the book.
I am thankful there was someone willing to show me what was in the book. I, too, had the "can't just drink one" syndrome.. and I caused much hate and discontent in many lives.
I have taken the opportunity to "Set the world back on it's axis" by making things right with as many folks as possible and being willing with the rest.
Today, my life is not about taking care of me! When I get out of myself and help others with no selfish motives (which isn't 100%)... I feel better about myself and the world as a whole.
One of my favorites today:

No amount of fortune, fame, success, beauty, intelligence, or strength can give you the same sense of personal gratification or a sense of purpose as a genuine “thank you” from someone you help.
When you stop being so wrapped up in your own worries, sorrows, and melodrama and start being a part of the bigger picture, with a role to play in this universe, your sense of self-worth and self-esteem gets a whole new definition. Give freely. Help whenever you can. You will get more than what you thought you ever needed. Sumitha Bhandarkar

Thank you for this group!

Last night I gave in to temptation. It was actually the first night I even craved alcohol since going AF on August 1st. I had to go dress shopping because we're going to see Hamilton on Thursday night and I've gained so much weight that I don't have any dress clothes that fit right now. I also didn't want to spend a lot of money because I'm planning on losing the weight so I went to an upscale used clothing store that I've been to before. Well....it did not go well at all and I really hate clothes shopping in the first place so when I got home I really just wanted to sit down and have a few drinks. I put a beer in the freezer and decided to have an iced tea and just see if I still wanted it by the time it would be cold. That actually made me feel better and I could have easily chosen not to have it at that point but I went ahead anyway because DH had one as well. Then, of course, I felt great and wanted another so I had a sparkling water with the last maybe 2 oz of rum left. It was delicious but I knew I was back in that familiar pattern of feeling good and throwing my health goals out the window.

The positive I'm taking from this is that I almost grabbed one of DH's beers after finishing my second drink, not because I wanted it but because I wanted to keep the buzz going. But I didn't. I poured another iced tea and sat down and ate a light dinner (I'm also calorie counting right now and those two drinks blew my goal) and had a nice rest of the evening.

Hi There: It was a lovely non-religious service for my bro. So there was no talk about the Bible's explanation on why we die, what happens at death or what hope there is to see our loved ones again...so in one sense, for me, there was something missing and a bit of a feeling of emptiness from that angle. AT the same time, I was glad not to have to sit through someone's "opinion" on those questions...The entire service consisted of a video presentation of his life in pics, the eulogy by one of his BFFs, who happened to be my very first boyfriend, a few selected friends & family sharing memories and a few who performed songs. My Bro would have been so pleased with the impact he had on all our lives.

A poem that was read was entitled "The Dash" I think that's the title...I actually have a laminated copy of it that I got from another funeral years ago...it refers the "dash" that is between the day of our birth and the day of our death and focuses on how it isn't the day of our birth or the date of our death that is of value, as much as how we live our "dash" or how we spend the time in between those two dates. I'm going to dig mine out because it resonated with me when I received my own copy and again when it was read yesterday...and has me really thinking about how I'm using my own dash. Perhaps someone on here is familiar with this poem.

I bawled from beginning to end with a box of kleenex on my lap I knew going in that the finality of it all would certainly hit me and it did, and I sat quietly allowing the tears to roll down my cheeks as I sopped them up every now & then...I didn't think there could possibly be any more tears in my tear bank, but I realize that my grieving will continue for a bit yet and then lessen at some point, but until it does, I'm just going with the flow....literally

I wouldn't say I was tempted to drink, but there was that little voice in my head...the drinker's dialogue...that was trying to break through on some level, because there were a few brief times I wished I could "just" have a glass or 2 of wine...but then the "other" voice of my sober, reasoning self that was reminding me why I am SO glad that I don't want to, and as I sat watching & speaking with those who obviously had a few, I was in NO way envying or wishing I could be like them...there were glassy-eyed, attempts to control their slurs, and a shallow quality about their conversations and attempts to escape their own pain that saddened me. It was the first time I have been around so much alcohol in a very long time, and it was a pleasure to be sober and not viewing it all through my own foggy vision.

Some really awesome shares here in the past bit and I am so glad to come on here and see everyone continuing fighting the fine fight to stay AF and learning the lessons when our guard may slip briefly back into old ways.

Hoping a happy, AF day to ALL ... Thank you so much for all your love & support through this difficult period in the "dash" of my life.

FeelinFooFoo wrote: »

cwolfman13 wrote: »

FeelinFooFoo wrote: »

Iv been doing some serious thought about why I can end up drinking through the week. It's usually very much an impulsive thing and I'm doing it to numb myself. I don't really enjoy the alcohol through the week, partly because I know that I shouldn't be doing it and it's not in my best interest. I need to just start dealing with things, sober even if I'm feeling a bit stressed. There is no answer in the bottom of a bottle and if I'm numbed, how can I possibly deal with anything? I need to remember that next time I feel like nipping into a shop on my way home during the week. The bit that stands out the most, I don't even enjoy the alcohol on those occasions. And I don't want to be numb anymore.

Another book I would highly recommend is "This Naked Mind". It really delves into the dichotomy that is created between our subconscious mind and conscious mind when we decide to quit or cut back on alcohol. In essence, our subconscious mind has been conditioned since very early on to believe that alcohol is a source of fun, relaxation, stress relief, etc. When we decide we want to quit or cut back, our conscious mind is all on board...but our unconscious mind still believes what it has been conditioned for years to believe, and our unconscious mind is most responsible for our desires, cravings, etc.

Despite living an overall healthy lifestyle diet wise and exercise wise, and having a successful career, family, etc... I'm an alcoholic. Like black out drunk most nights alcoholic trying to remind myself in the morning what show my wife and I watched on t.v. that night or what we had for dinner.

"This Naked Mind" has helped me a lot in regards to understanding why I drink, and what is going on in my subconscious mind. It has helped me better understand that, for example, the fun of having my good friends over to hang out and swim and BBQ doesn't really have anything to do with the alcohol...it's the companionship...but my subconscious mind has been conditioned to think good times with friends = alcohol. When I look back and really meditate on that, it makes no sense...particularly since there are many nights with friends that I don't really remember or what memories I do have are fuzzy...how is that fun...how can you have fun if you don't even remember?

Conversely, just yesterday I was cleaning the house and I was in one of my kids' room and started looking at a calendar the my MIL had put together with various pictures of us and my kids on various vacations, adventures, etc. One of them was my youngest eating an ice cream at Pike Place Market in Seattle...I remember that day vividly...we took the ferry from West Seattle to Seattle proper...we did the underground tour that morning and then had lunch at Ivre's...then we road the big wheel and went to Pikes Place to check it out and get some ice cream...we had a blast that day and not a drop of alcohol was consumed (until later that evening), and the best part is that I remember it with complete clarity. Yesterday was an eye opener in regards to how many things I've done and had so much fun yet never touched a drop...I don't need the booze for fun...it only results in some hazy memory of, 'well...we did something and I assume it was a good time, but I don't really have any idea"

Anyway, good book...I'm not 100% sober at the moment, but I'm having dry nights and I'm nowhere close to being black out drunk these days.

I was thinking about buying that book, I did the alcohol experiment by Annie Grace and I do believe that is her book so I think I'l get it now. What you said about fun=booze has been one of my issues, it's been heavily engrained over time but I now have the mindset that feeling like crap can also = booze. I feel like when I give in too often I start to feel like my power & control are being taken away from me and I'm left feeling a way I didn't chose or want to feel so I'm gona try and remember that. I am not sure if I will always be 100% AF but I just need to take some action now to change course. I'm intrested to see just how long I make it!

And finding fun things to do that don't involve booze will be a good adventure, I suppose. A change from the norm. And yeah, be able to clearly remember what I did would be good !

Yes, it is by Annie Grace. She delves heavily in the book that most of us have had our subconscious heavily conditioned to think alcohol = fun...we've grown up watching our parents and other adults entertaining, and there's usually alcohol involved...must be fun. Chilling on the beach = need a corona or a margarita because that looks so good on the commercial...around the bonfire with friends, how about a Budweiser. I've never been one to really think advertisements have much of an impact on me, but that marketing does a number on the subconscious. I'm finding out.

I'm doing a 30 day challenge with my wife in September. I was going to start this month, but we have several social situations that I think would be far too tempting in a pretty fragile state. This is all pretty new to me. Deep down I've known I was an alcoholic or at least well on my way for years...but in July I came out of denial after we had guests come over for a pool party and I did so much pre-partying that I hardly remember them arriving and I have no recollection of eating dinner, swimming, or them leaving...actually, I have one very blurry memory of me trying to do a back flip into the pool, and that's about it. I'm using the month of August to really cut back and meditating on the many good times I've had along the way where no alcohol was involved whatsoever.

Those same friends are coming over on Saturday and I've told them about what's going on with me...they are very supportive, and I'm finding the more people I tell, the more support I'm getting...I don't think being "anonymous" is helpful. I was very fearful that my friends, or at least some of my friends would nod their head in support, but at the same time avoid their "dysfunctional friend", and that hasn't been the case so far in the least.

@RubyRed427, I think a good therapist with whom you click is an amazing gift. I'm so grateful for mine, whom I've been seeing "as needed" for almost 30 years. Once she retires, I'm afraid I'll be tempted to pull a Bill Murray in "What About Bob"!

I have an appt. with an ENT on Monday regarding this horrible ringing in my ear. Last night I finally had 2 drinks because that stops it (temporarily). I know alcohol actually makes it worse in the long run, but it does provide temporary relief when I feel like I can't stand it another minute. Hopefully there is a solution that doesn't involve alcohol because I missed my morning walk today and don't want to use alcohol in any amount. Frustrating!

@whitpauly, it is really amazing how insensitive people can be sometimes. My oldest son is profoundly mentally handicapped, and when I was a young new mother, people said things that I couldn't really believe people would say! I think 99.9% of it comes from unwitting insensitivity, so I try to just let it go. But seriously? I just pray I'm never callous enough to say something as hurtful as what you describe. Anyway, we know enough to write it off as the ignorance it is, right?

I had a hearing test today in advance of visiting the ENT Monday. Sadly, she found I have a slight hearing loss in my right ear (very slight) and said the tinnitus (ringing in the ear) is a benign symptom of that loss and likely permanent. AGHHHH! It doesn't seem "benign" to me; it is a constant loud noise. She said caffeine, salt, nicotine, and alcohol are aggravating factors. I consume very little of the first two, no nicotine, but . . . alcohol. I told her that at the moment that's the only thing that helps me ignore the sound. She suggested finding ways to combat stress such as yoga, meditation, etc. This is going to be a real battle for me. I guess it's true for all of us that we get some "benefit" from the very poison that is so bad for us, or we wouldn't be tempted to drink it. But now, this very awful symptom has me wanting alcohol to stop it while alcohol makes it worse. I suppose I'll have to learn to live with this the same way we all have to learn to live with and cope with other types of stress and unpleasantness.

On top of this, our AC went out and can't be fixed until Monday. The heat index here is over 110 degrees. Luckily my mom lives nearby, but being displaced for the weekend on top of this new frustrating news is not making me happy. I just heard someone on the radio today saying to reframe negatives as not happening "to" us but happening "for" us. Maybe having an actual physical condition that prevents me from overindulging in alcohol will be a blessing in disguise. Right now I just don't feel very blessed. Sorry to rant.