The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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The Melodie Beattie blurb for today is entitled Rescuing Ourselves...it is about taking care of ourselves and part of that is noticing our abilities, our strengths, and take care of ourselves by developing and acting on them. It also involves noticing our pain and weariness and appropriately taking care of ourselves, noticing our deprivation and beginning to take steps to give ourselves abundance...THIS is what resonated with me in particular, "It begins inside of us by changing what we believe we deserve by giving up our deprivation and treating ourselves the way we deserve to be treated.
Life is hard, but we don't have to make it more difficult by neglecting ourselves. There is no glory in suffering, only suffering. Our pain will not stop when a rescuer comes, but when we take responsibility for ourselves and stop our own pain."
And there are several steps to doing the above, BUT alcohol is NOT one of them...drinking is one of the signs that we are not taking care of ourselves, and that we are looking to it for a rescue of some sort, at least that was true for me. I need to believe that I deserve better than that. I hope I am starting to feel like I deserve better than that.5 -
132 days since starting my journey and since I've touched a drop of booze. Feeling good! Have a blessed weekend!9
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Best wishes for a sober weekend everyone! Was on Facebook and a friend of mine posted this article. https://www.caron.org/blog/2019/05/alcohol-is-killing-more-people-than-the-opioid-epidemic?fbclid=IwAR1sWDR-lOrdJASR-LDdfXHEuS0yYxGik-86N-thTCJ6NBFz5HO2tpXvNL83
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Best wishes for a sober weekend everyone! Was on Facebook and a friend of mine posted this article. https://www.caron.org/blog/2019/05/alcohol-is-killing-more-people-than-the-opioid-epidemic?fbclid=IwAR1sWDR-lOrdJASR-LDdfXHEuS0yYxGik-86N-thTCJ6NBFz5HO2tpXvNL8
A Sobering read...the health effects are staggering...and it is subtle in most cases although the article mentioned there are immediate negative effects from drinking alcohol. It also was an interesting comment of how one weekend of heavy drinking can cause cardiac arrhythmia also referred to as holiday heart syndrome contributing to other heart issues...in the weeks since my brother's death I've wondered how much alcohol may have contributed to his heart attack...there is definitely a family history of heart disease from his father's side, we have different dads, but I also know he liked to drink...he was a successful businessman who loved to entertain. Most of those who spoke at his life celebration mentioned "happy hour" around the lake where he lived & the many golf games which involved "drinks" & I also suspect that he drank to numb his pain from the past. It's a family trait.
Interesting pic of the wine glass knocked over with a bottle beside it depicting a skull & crossbones aka death symbol....fitting!!!
Thank you for sharing this article @RubyRed4274 -
@RubyRed427 Thank you for sharing that very sobering article.2
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I didn't go to my AA meeting Tuesday eve. I was exhausted and actually asked myself what I needed more in order to take care of myself and that was a bit of a tough one...the one thought I had was, "I "should" go to my AA meeting" and another was, "I need to chill out and not do one more thing" My dilemma was following through on my commitment to get to my AA meeting regularly, BUT the conflict was with committing to taking care of myself by not piling SO much into one day...It was my first full week back at work in several weeks and I had to pile 3 jobs into 2 days with another 2 piled into the following day...my dog had been at home for the entire day alone and going to AA meant another 2 hours on his own which is not fair to him (I know to some who don't care for pets this may seem ridiculous, but for those who do have pets you get it) AND grief is exhausting!!!! SO I opted out of AA to soak in a tub and get to bed early. AND that's ok!!
Sometimes it's ok to not "should" ourselves, in fact the "shoulds" can indicate something is amiss if we are "shoulding ourselves" into exhaustion...that is not productive! This week I know that I NEED to get to my AA meeting and am planning my day accordingly so that I am able to do that.6 -
"Think Healing Thoughts...when you feel anger or resentment ask God to help you feel it, learn from it and then release it. Ask him to bless those who you feel anger toward. Ask him to bless you too........When you think about others, thnik love. When you think about yourself, think love.
Then watch your thought transform reality....Today, I will think healing thoughts."
For anyone who has gotten Melody's book Letting Go, it is in part the affirmation for today. I'm going to use it for the basis for my prayer for the day and keep a bookmark in this page to remind myself that my thoughts shape my reality.
Hoping everyone here has a happy AF day and may you all think good thoughts about yourselves4 -
Sober living works for me! I like feeling hydrated lol3
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There was a very insightful and interesting interview between Anderson Cooper and Stephen Colbert on the other day. The part about grief and what is means to be human is very interesting. I was moved to tears actually. It is well worth watching. I am wishing you all a happy and sober Sunday.
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Good morning friends! @FeelinFooFoo One day of drinking doesn't diminish the many days sober!! It also reminds us how awful hangovers are for many of us. Brutal. This week you'll feel better and be back on track.
Saw this article on NYT about going to weddings sober. I went last August to a sober wedding and although I did feel left out and faked a good time, the next morning, I was relieved I had no hangover.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/15/fashion/weddings/how-i-survived-wedding-season-in-my-first-year-of-sobriety.html
Cheers to a good Sunday! I'm heading to my last coffee morning with my daughter before she heads to college. I still plan on going to coffee on Sundays by myself, because it is a good incentive to stay sober Saturday nights!! Wishing you a happy day!4 -
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I didn't go to my AA meeting Tuesday eve. I was exhausted and actually asked myself what I needed more in order to take care of myself and that was a bit of a tough one...the one thought I had was, "I "should" go to my AA meeting" and another was, "I need to chill out and not do one more thing" My dilemma was following through on my commitment to get to my AA meeting regularly, BUT the conflict was with committing to taking care of myself by not piling SO much into one day...It was my first full week back at work in several weeks and I had to pile 3 jobs into 2 days with another 2 piled into the following day...my dog had been at home for the entire day alone and going to AA meant another 2 hours on his own which is not fair to him (I know to some who don't care for pets this may seem ridiculous, but for those who do have pets you get it) AND grief is exhausting!!!! SO I opted out of AA to soak in a tub and get to bed early. AND that's ok!!
Sometimes it's ok to not "should" ourselves, in fact the "shoulds" can indicate something is amiss if we are "shoulding ourselves" into exhaustion...that is not productive! This week I know that I NEED to get to my AA meeting and am planning my day accordingly so that I am able to do that.
Yes, sometimes adding one more thing to a full plate can be a tipping point. You will go to AA this week when you have more energy. Also, just read the big book for a few minutes and that can be helpful if you can't attend a meeting. One more thing, I found AA speeches on youtube. Love them! I search for "funny, humorous AA speeches" and usually find an inspirational one. My favorite speaker is Sister Bea (A Catholic nun)...her tale is funny.0 -
My Dad passed away a year ago today. sober reality kicking in.11
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nighthawk584 wrote: »My Dad passed away a year ago today. sober reality kicking in.
That’s very sad. Sending you a hug 💛5 -
@FeelinFooFoo, My heart goes out to you! Having lived in Edinburgh through 5 festivals, I know that being sober in that situation would be a challenge to anyone, especially anyone "new" to it like we are. It sounds like you're not being hard on yourself, so "good on you" and today is a new day.
I'm still not succeeding in being AF ever since my tinnitus diagnosis. I drink when the ringing gets unbearable, but that makes it worse and makes me feel like crap. I'm still on the path with good intentions, but right now I'm just trying to figure out how these two things (sobriety and tinnitus) are going to coexist. I'm glad this is a judgment-free zone or I'd be hiding in the woods.
Have a great Sunday everyone.8 -
Morning friends,@donimfp yep I'm glad it's judgement free too or else I'd be hiding away too haha,I haven't been drinking but my last drunk was a doozy and I was glad to be able to come back here and vent about it without harsh criticism,sorry the tinnitus hasn't eased what a pain! Feeling FooFoo I always say we learn something new when we've drank about why we don't wanna drink anymore,seems you learned something from it even if it's Jaeger bombs are gross haha,waves to all, feeling lazy this morning,have a happy AF day ❤️5
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Thanks for the support ❤ really appreciate it! Looking forward to a sober week. Free of hangovers!
(Sambuca shots and jeager bombs are rotten, next time I'l have a shot of water instead!) That's the plan. 👍
Jaeger always kills me - worst hangover - yes judgement free zone here on this thread 💙4 -
I went to an AA meeting this eve and stayed quiet, but really enjoyed hearing others sharing. Someone there gave me a Big Book so now I can look it over and someone else who I've emailed and talked to on the phone once offered to help me navigate it. So I will take her up on the offer.
I feel out of place there cause I'm new, but just need to continue to go and I'll feel more comfortable as time goes on. I'm just glad I went because it would have been SO easy to just stay home. I had the day off today and had a commitment this morn and then came home & cleaned my place after dog-sitting a hairy dog for the past few days...she's got a lovely personality, but the hair is bothersome...did laundry and all that good stuff, so it would have been quite easy to just not go...BUT I WENT anyway...YAY!
I hope everyone is well...
I really noticed tonight that it is getting dark earlier ....summer is winding down ugh!!! I LOVE the fall too AND we still have another month of summer and the nice weather can stretch into October also...but I'm getting WAY ahead of myself...today was a lovely summer day and we are getting our patios & privacy fences between our units replaced in the next couple of weeks...they started demolishing the old today and before I know it, I'll have a lovely new area to set up my outdoor furniture to enjoy the rest of our nice weather....5 -
Morning friends,yep Lorraine summer is on the move but there are still some warm days to enjoy or as the case in Vegas,hide out! Threads been pretty quiet lately,it's hard to post when there's no conversation going,it's been like that on my anti alcohol forum too, people are just basically posting about the weather and it's gotten stale😣 a few ladies in my group started a fb messenger chat and we basically go there instead and have closed our thread on the site cuz it's just ran it's course,very sad but it wasn't attracting new people and like I said had gotten mundane,I really hope that doesn't happen here,anyhoo wishes for a fab AF day ❤️2
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One of the themes last eve was "acceptance" and as I listened to the women speak about what that meant for them, I wondered what that meant for me. So I've decided to take this week to find that out. I'm using the Letting Go book and reading a blurb or two a day cause there are 9 on acceptance of various things listed in the index.
Today's is not in order of listing in the book, It's entitled "Accepting OURSELVES" cause I think that is one of my biggest hurdles is to accept myself exactly as I am right now, this second...with all my feelings, thoughts, flaws, wants, needs, and desires.
She begins the blurb by highlighting a woman who was driving one day & noticed the licence plate of the vehicle in front of her, "BE-WHO-UR" ... "How can I?" she thought, "I don't know who I am." She then goes on to relate the reason some of us may be confused about who we actually are because for so long we have submerged ourselves in the needs of others (does that sound familiar to anyone...?) She goes on to say that being who we are means accepting our physical selves as well as our mental, emotional and spiritual selves, for now...she then goes on to mention many other things we work to accept and then ends with this:
"Being who we are, loving & accepting ourselves is not a limiting attitude. Accepting and loving ourselves is how we enable growth and change"
I remember saying to someone recently that if I could have looked into the future at one of my low points in life to see where I am in my life right now, I would be ok with this right here, right now, but as I sit here right here, right now, I play this tape in my head many times throughout my day that tells me I'm not ok with this right here, right now...SO it's time to count my blessings one more time and also think about the things I'm not ok with presently and see how I can make it ok, for now, to "accept" this is how it is!! AND it is OK!!
I hope all of us can work at accepting where we are in this process of ridding ourselves of the self-destructive habit of drinking alcohol and feel good about how far we've come as opposed to how far we need to go. Where we are right NOW is OK!!!3 -
P.S. - INTERESTINGLY, my friend just texted a picture of me in my bathing suit sitting on some rocks in the water and I will be working on accepting THIS is how I am right here, right now and THAT is OK!! LOL3
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Morning friends,yep Lorraine summer is on the move but there are still some warm days to enjoy or as the case in Vegas,hide out! Threads been pretty quiet lately,it's hard to post when there's no conversation going,it's been like that on my anti alcohol forum too, people are just basically posting about the weather and it's gotten stale😣 a few ladies in my group started a fb messenger chat and we basically go there instead and have closed our thread on the site cuz it's just ran it's course,very sad but it wasn't attracting new people and like I said had gotten mundane,I really hope that doesn't happen here,anyhoo wishes for a fab AF day ❤️
I must have been writing when you posted this cause I just saw it now. Some days when I'm able to I check here a few times a day hoping to see some comments and agree with you when It's quiet, I wonder why & hope it's not fizzling out! That's why I share stuff from the Letting Go book, hoping to generate some conversation. I also appreciate when others do similar by way of articles, videos etc cause it keeps our thread active, interesting and helpful.2 -
School has started and I am submerged in lots of work. So, I won't be too active for a few days til things settle down in my life in general. One of the things that resonated with me in your posts is accepting ourselves is vital. A lot of times, our thoughts focus on what we need to improve and do better, but sometimes "good enough" can be our best. We are not those perfect instagram photos we sometimes see. That is not real life.
I think someone here or on tv said recently "Life is messy! "
I'm happy this thread keeps going even if only a few people are active. That's ok. Keep posting. I'm sure many are reading and benefiting from our camaraderie.
I'm happy Lorraine that you found peace at the meeting. I like to go and just sit quietly. Everyone seems to know each other so well but it's good to hear the speakers and read the big book.
@FeelinFooFoo Great points about flaws- thank goodness my friends and family still love me despite all of the flaws. And I love them too.
@whitpauly I love reading your posts. Keep them coming!3 -
@donimfp You sure have a rough dilemma. The ringing in your ears is something so awful that I understand your need for temporary relief. Just keep taking one day at at time! I'm sure you've looked inter alternative treatments- perhaps acupuncture could help? Just thinking outside the box to help you. xo4
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »P.S. - INTERESTINGLY, my friend just texted a picture of me in my bathing suit sitting on some rocks in the water and I will be working on accepting THIS is how I am right here, right now and THAT is OK!! LOL
Ugh! I guess we have to accept how we look in a bathing suit!! LOL You made me laugh! Also, I find a year from now, you'll look at that same picture and say "I looked pretty damn good!"1 -
Hi everyone. My drinking has gotten out of control once again so I am recommitting myself to 100% sobriety. I can't do it half way. There is just no excuse anymore. In September I am going to the beach with a big wine drinking girlfriend and I THOUGHT (up until yesterday) that I would be able to indulge but I know I can't now. I just can't turn it on and off so it has to stay off. She is going to be surprised and possibly disappointed but I think if I don't make a big deal about it...just say I'm having blood work the next week...or something that doesn't sound bad about alcohol as I don't want to preach. I want her to enjoy herself and I don't think she has the same kind of problems with wine as I do. Anyway I do enjoy reading everyone's posts so please keep sharing. It helps.7
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This was perfect reading for me this morning.
https://thesoberschool.com/trying-to-moderate-10-things-youll-need-to-be-ok-with-first/5 -
This was perfect reading for me this morning.
https://thesoberschool.com/trying-to-moderate-10-things-youll-need-to-be-ok-with-first/
"It's not drinking alone if the dog's home" LOL I actually took a pic of a fridge magnet with this saying on it at the height of my drinking.
Obviously from this article, truly moderate drinkers do not think all these things or have to adopt some kind of strategy to drink moderately...they just have "a" drink and leave it at that...no further thought...they don't need to "take time off" from drinking because they do not have a problem with drinking moderately...It just hit me that if we need to adopt a bunch of rules & strategies to ensure we drink moderately (which is a crock cause a problem drinker can not ensure anything after that first drink, as many of us here have admitted) THEN we have an issue and moderate drinking is not going to happen no matter how much thought & planning we put into it. Period. It's a game we play to continue to do what we want to do knowing full well all the health implications and social impact.
True moderation is ONE standard drink daily for women and 2 for men and not every day....the only rule needed is do not drink more than that. But a problem drinker such as myself canNOT do that, so the need for all the rules so that we can just keep drinking and trick ourselves into "thinking" we have some kind of control, and therefore we can just keep drinking. Alcohol is sneaky, sneaky, sneaky....!!!
Having said ALL THAT, I need to apply this same reasoning to MY FOOD ISSUE...I have been totally out of control with that aspect of my life and really, IT IS NO DIFFERENT other than the substance I am using. I took a pic of a FB post on another alcohol support group I joined recently, thanks @whitpauly for the idea , and it says, "People are not addicted to alcohol or drugs, they are addicted to escaping REALITY" I could insert food in there...at the present time alcohol is not my drug of choice, but food is.... It is my last hold out!!!! AND I shall prevail....I just need to apply the same determination and energy & time & commitment to the food issue as I have my alcohol issue.
Hope everyone is OK...7 -
Morning friends, Lorraine I've been eating totally out of control this past week too! It's like a deep hunger I can't seem to fill and it's irritating me, we're planning a trip to California in a couple of weeks and I might be subconsciously stressing or something,grrr,Jen, interesting article and it makes alot of sense,I cant moderate,I'll be looking for more alcohol while I'm still drinking one in my hand,no "normal" people do that and i also never cared about what time it was," normal" drinkers will wait for an acceptable time at least,Ruby,take time to get settled into the new school year, we'll keep your seat warm😍 sorry I don't @ everyone but I'm on my phone when I check in here and it's a pain to try and remember everyone's exact name,wishes for a fantastic AF day for us all!
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Welcome all.
I'm currently on day 4039.
(Hugs)8
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