The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,381 Member
    FeelinFooFoo wrote: »
    Confession time. I drank on Saturday night. Had no intentions to drink but my partner fancied a few drinks. Must admit it didn't take much to twist my arm. We have basically been cleaning non stop and it was like a toast to the new kitchen. This makes me realise how difficult it can be to stay sober I felt as if my not drinking was ruining my partners buzz somehow so I joined in. He went to shop and bought more booze than I would have bought if I had been to shop. I ended up being sick all night so it wasn't great. Maybe the break in drinking has made my tolerance levels much lower now. I'm still feeling out of sorts so only good thing is it's put me off drinking again !

    New day, new week, new month so not gona dwell on it too much.

    Hugs to you. It is a bummer that for a few hours of fun, we suffer later. After I drink, the next day besides being sick, I feel jittery and anxious. So, it's double trouble. These episodes are always a good reminder of why we want to stay sober. Sometimes, we just have to roll with it, analyze how it happened and what we can do to improve. Life is a dress rehearsal. The positive is I bet the next night you slept so well. Look forward to a new week! :)
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,381 Member
    lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    Good morning friends! Wishing you a happy weekend! I am looking forward to Labor Day- a day off to relax. :)

    Quotes from The Language of Letting Go (Aug. 30 entry):

    "We don't have to do it any better than we can-ever. Do our best for the moment, then let it go.
    If we have to redo it, we can do our best another moment, later.
    There are days when our best is less than we hoped for. Let those times go too. Start over tomorrow. Work things through, until our best becomes better. " <3

    LOVE this...thank you from sharing from one of my fave authors. <3

    Have a relaxing day off!

    I got to know this author because of you!! Thanks so much!
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
    I'm sorry @donimfp I wish you could find some relief without resorting to alcohol 😣 I wish your doctor could have been better help
  • aroze0928
    aroze0928 Posts: 254 Member
    @donimfp Im sorry to hear you struggle with this. I have had it for years and alcohol did aggravate it afterward. I have to sleep with a fan as it somewhat drowns out the ringing. Have you tried that for just some relief?
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    lennoncpa wrote: »
    Hello everyone. I’m so glad I discovered this community support group. I’ve been on MFP for several years and I’ve been sober since June 3, 1982. Although I don’t have the daily struggles with alcohol, it’s never too far away and I respect the power of it and how I could take a drink and totally destroy my life, or even die if I take a drink. My addiction comes out in different ways - food is one of them! But having an addictive personality I get addicted to many things - I need to pay attention to the dangerous things. Some of my addictions are okay - such as line dancing. I know that sounds strange but once I discovered line dancing it has become an obsession of mine.

    Glad you found this thread also...I can relate to the "addictive" personality....I envy your addiction to line dancing cause if I could only become addicted to something active it may counteract my addictive foodie behavior!!

    Welcome and thanks for sharing. :D
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    Hi Guys, I just saw online that they got rid of "Woo" and will add "disagree" button but of course use not to judge or dislike someone, just a polite disagree with their idea. By the way, I wouldn't use the disagree because I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings. Just my personality type.
    I keep giving my Uber drives a 5 star because I don't want to hurt their feelings. I must get stronger that way and be more honest.

    I never noticed that the "woo" is gone till now...good riddance...good idea! Unsure of why they feel the need to replace it with anything. After all, if we disagree with someone, we can just say our version of whatever we don't agree with and leave it at that, but what the heck do I know anyway!
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @Donimfp So sorry to hear of your continued struggles with your tinnitus. If I could give you courage to face it without alcohol I certainly would. NO judgement here. I can't imagine how annoying that would be. I do have confidence though that you will work this out and find a way to cope with it. Have you ever done "guided" mindfulness meditation? I'm wondering if you could find a guided one online with someone who has a soothing voice that could lull you to sleep? Hoping the best for you and please know that you have valid reasons to vent it out, complain, however you prefer to refer to it...that's what this space is for. Support!! <3
  • trishfit2014
    trishfit2014 Posts: 304 Member
    Thanks @JenT304. Enjoy your vacation
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,381 Member
    FeelinFooFoo wrote: »
    I hope this link posts alright, me and technology don't always go well..😄 I found this story really shocking and eye opening about how devastating alcohol can be on the human body. I like the guys honestly about what he went through, it makes me want to avoid alcohol even more!
    https://www.thefix.com/body-horror-slow-process-falling-apart-alcoholism

    I just read this. Oh my! How disturbing, how real, how shocking... this is extremely important read for people like me/us. I was shaking as I read it but because of fear. Thank you for sharing this. <3
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
    Morning friends, Feeling FooFoo,I think alot of us didn't start out at that level of abuse bit the sad part is that alcohol abuse is progressive,when I first started drinking I was in my early 30's and would drink 1-2 Heineken beers to fall asleep,it worked a treat and I thought I found a cure for my insomnia I was just smug about it,3 years later and I was drinking every night but still able to get up and function at work and life,2 years later I was basically drinking all day everyday cuz I was having a hard time coping sober,my hands would shake,I'd throw up unless I had some alcohol in me, not saying that everyone gets to that level just pointing out that I didn't start off right out the gate being a wild boozehound I just evolved into one,RubyRed what A.D did you start if you don't mind me asking? I swore I'd never take one again but I do have some Lexapro that's been beckoning cuz it seems my anxiety has been on turbo mode lately and my natural supps aren't doing much😭 I just worry constantly and work myself up too much and it's making me unable to cope sometimes,I NEVER want to drink again so yeah I'm about to go the med route I think even though I reaaallly didn't want to,waves to the gang and wishes for a great AF day,I'm off to California this afternoon so if you don't hear much outta me I'm actually enjoying life haha🌺
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,381 Member
    edited September 2019
    Good morning! Not doing well here. Alcohol intake zero. But sleep medicine doest work ; one night it did, the others nights it caused worse insomnia. Interestingly the sleep med also is used to stop alcohol cravings.

    Second, the antidepressants are making me jittery more than normal. I think I'm going to stop it; it has only been a week taking them. Ok. Now have to get back to basics. And just chill and not let my mind go crazy.

    Will try to regroup this weekend. I have a sore throat which interestingly enough can be side effect from sleep med. But I think my sore throat is from my students who are sick. Sorry to be a downer. Will try to change my attitude today. Hugs to all!! xoxox
  • aroze0928
    aroze0928 Posts: 254 Member
    Hi all
    Sorry @RubyRed427 sometimes these things dont agree with us. Ive tried a lot of antidepressants and all unfortunately had a side effect I just couldn't live with. Call the doc and try again maybe? Hopefully you can catch up on some rest this weekend tgif.
    Thank you @lorrainquiche59 I love reading your posts. I sometimes question whether Im an alcoholic or just someone who made bad decisions. Idk either way Ive learned enough now to know better for myself.
    My anxiety is very high this week as well. Hate it
    Have a happy friday
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @RubyRed427 Very disappointing. You have one of the best attitudes so I think an occasional down day is allowed. One of the most frequent things people have brought to my attention is that I tend to be too hard on myself and I think you may have that issue also. Sleep is vital for every one of our functions. I went years without good quality sleep, so I can relate. Hopefully you stay clear of any sickness. If I were a Dr. I would prescribe you some self care this weekend...do some kind things for yourself!! <3
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @tifano It doesn't really matter to me what label is attached to a drinking problem. I know I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and no desire to pick it up again, so that's all I'm concerned about. I definitely agree with taking each day as it comes, so today, no thank you. I love being sober and free from depending on alcohol to lift my mood. I love being able to get in my car at a moment's notice & drive sober. I love so many things about my life without alcohol in it.

    You mentioned something in your post about the "controlled drinking experiment." I read that in the Big Book and there is an AA FB group and someone on there suggested that...but WHY on earth would that be a suggestion? Especially if the question is whether a person is an alcoholic or not...why would anyone 'risk' drinking again just so they can say, "yep, I know I'm an alcoholic now!!" If someone has successfully given up alcohol, why encourage them to drink again just to label them. What IF they are an alcoholic and that experiment is a slippery slope into years of continued, hard-core drinking for that person? Doesn't make any sense to me. I've been sober well over a year, & I don't feel the need to "prove" anything. The only thing I feel like I need to do is to continue to do all of the things that helped me to stop in the first place and then continue to do those things in order to remain sober. AA is not that for me. It obviously has helped some to clean up their life, and that is wonderful, but it hasn't helped everyone. What is good for one person isn't necessarily good for the next. I'm glad for you but it's not for me. THAT I know. :)
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @Tifano Please never apologize for sharing. I'm not offended by what you said at all. I am sincerely curious about the logic behind the "controlled drinking experiment" because it is the 3rd time I've run across that. All I'm saying is it doesn't make sense to me. Hope you are ok :)
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @tifano That is quite a story. Thank you for sharing that. I understand from what you wrote that you were "still" drinking when you decided to try to control your drinking as an experiment. That is different than what was suggested to me on the AA FB site. You weren't sober for a length of time, you were still struggling to stop drinking. That was my point. I've been sober since May 2018...successfully sober. So, again my question, "why on earth would I risk drinking again?" just to "prove" one way or the other whether or not I'm an alcoholic? The only reason I even questioned whether I may be an alcoholic is because as I was sitting in the AA meetings and everyone was identifying as an alcoholic, I was not. So, that is where my questioning began. Am I or aren't I?

    Like I said earlier I don't really care what the label is, but from what I understand to be true AA is for alcoholics, not for people who have other issues with alcohol. What I understand from the Big Book is that alcoholism is different than heavy drinking or habitual drinking...it is a different beast entirely. Several times on the AA site people would say, "There's no shame in admitting your an alcoholic." and I definitely agree with that, but there is also no shame in admitting I am schizophrenic, BUT I am not schizophrenic. So why would I agree with something I don't believe to be true.

    The bottom line for me though is a comment I read that summed it up and that was advice to read 2 specific questions in the first paragraph on page 44 in short #1 not being able to stop entirely when you want to OR #2 not being able to control the amount you drink (absolutely no control from the stories I've read and even from your experience)...and then pay attention to your gut. My gut said Nope not me. At the same time, I definitely developed a heavy drinking habit, but the stories in the Big Book and others do not resonate with me. So that's where I am with this.

    Thank you for clearing up the "controlled drinking experiment." It does make sense if you are struggling with quitting and still insisting that you don't really have a problem. I know I definitely have a problem and that I cannot drink normally, but that doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic, so to go to AA would not be a helpful resource for me. I have other avenues of support that are very helpful to me and this thread is one of them. Thank you again for sharing your story. I hope you continue to share here. <3

    P.S. No apologies here for MY novel...everyone knows I'm a wordy bird! ;) Chirp Chirp...........chirp!! Notice that I didn't say, "quack" ... well maybe a little quacky at times.
  • tifano
    tifano Posts: 155 Member
    lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
    @tifano That is quite a story. Thank you for sharing that. I understand from what you wrote that you were "still" drinking when you decided to try to control your drinking as an experiment. That is different than what was suggested to me on the AA FB site. You weren't sober for a length of time, you were still struggling to stop drinking. That was my point. I've been sober since May 2018...successfully sober. So, again my question, "why on earth would I risk drinking again?" just to "prove" one way or the other whether or not I'm an alcoholic? The only reason I even questioned whether I may be an alcoholic is because as I was sitting in the AA meetings and everyone was identifying as an alcoholic, I was not. So, that is where my questioning began. Am I or aren't I?

    Like I said earlier I don't really care what the label is, but from what I understand to be true AA is for alcoholics, not for people who have other issues with alcohol. What I understand from the Big Book is that alcoholism is different than heavy drinking or habitual drinking...it is a different beast entirely. Several times on the AA site people would say, "There's no shame in admitting your an alcoholic." and I definitely agree with that, but there is also no shame in admitting I am schizophrenic, BUT I am not schizophrenic. So why would I agree with something I don't believe to be true.

    The bottom line for me though is a comment I read that summed it up and that was advice to read 2 specific questions in the first paragraph on page 44 in short #1 not being able to stop entirely when you want to OR #2 not being able to control the amount you drink (absolutely no control from the stories I've read and even from your experience)...and then pay attention to your gut. My gut said Nope not me. At the same time, I definitely developed a heavy drinking habit, but the stories in the Big Book and others do not resonate with me. So that's where I am with this.

    Thank you for clearing up the "controlled drinking experiment." It does make sense if you are struggling with quitting and still insisting that you don't really have a problem. I know I definitely have a problem and that I cannot drink normally, but that doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic, so to go to AA would not be a helpful resource for me. I have other avenues of support that are very helpful to me and this thread is one of them. Thank you again for sharing your story. I hope you continue to share here. <3

    P.S. No apologies here for MY novel...everyone knows I'm a wordy bird! ;) Chirp Chirp...........chirp!! Notice that I didn't say, "quack" ... well maybe a little quacky at times.

    For me personally I would never suggest someone who’s not had a drop of alcohol for over a year to try the contolled drinking experiment. There have been many people in my AA community who had 10 years plus sobriety who no longer believed they were an alcoholic and could be a normal drinker. Needless to say they aren’t drinking as a normal person would. Like you mentioned before it will likely lead to years of drinking and a slippery slope.

    I’m glad you’ve found what works for you and your AF life ❤️

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