Things people say when you lose weight

I ran into an old friend recently who must have lost 100 lbs since the last time I saw her. I was thinking about this thread so hard thinking, "What should I say?? Should I bring it up? Not bring it up?" I didn't want to offend her bringing up her weight or disappoint her by not bringing it up.

I went with - "You look great!"

SoHowLongIsThisGonnaTake wrote: »

I look dramatically different, and usually am not recognized or told "you've lost a lot of weight!"

I saw someone I hadn't seen in years and she said, "you haven't changed a bit. You always had a pretty face."

Had no idea what she meant by that. But it sounded passive aggressive to me.

It sounds like "You had a pretty face before, and that hasn't changed: you still have a pretty face" to me.

I moved and basically have only talked to a couple of people who knew me 100 lbs ago, so I don't really get the comments except for the ex who always manages to tell me how great I look.

Funny ones:

Cousin in law: You've lost weight. How did you do that?
Me: I ate less.
C.I.L.: It's all your rowing, isn't it? It's your rowing!
Me: I've been rowing for over a decade, the same amount I am now. (in my head: ". . . and you know that.")

Old college roommate I hadn't seen in 30 years: Well, you've managed to stay slim!
Me: LOL + showed her before & afters.

Rowing friend I hadn't seen in a few months: Ann, so nice to see you . . . and I think I'm seeing less of you?

Random friend: It's impossible to lose weight without cutting carbs.
Me: I lost about 50 pounds, eating plenty of carbs.
Friend: I read all the books over the Winter, and they all said you have to cut out carbs!

I was more troubled by a usually-sensible friend who got worried that I was anorexic, toward the end of weight loss. I think I did look a little gaunt or haggard for a while, until my skin and such kind of caught up a few months later. But she was all fussed, although I was eating like 2000 calories a day by then, and told her so. It can be shocking to people who are used to seeing us fat.

For a while, some of my friends were doing the "skin and bones!" "don't lose more!" kind of thing, which just made me eye-roll. I didn't feel particularly offended or wounded (my ego strength/confidence is, if anything, too strong ).

I had a few awkward exchanges because people know I'm a stage III (advanced) breast cancer survivor, so they weren't sure whether I was thinner and OK, or not OK. Again, didn't bother me, and I was happy to reassure them.

Now that I've been in maintenance for a few years, comments have pretty much stopped, other than the occasional "of course you can eat anything you want" sort of thing. Yeah? No.

healingnurtrer wrote: »

I ran into an old friend recently who must have lost 100 lbs since the last time I saw her. I was thinking about this thread so hard thinking, "What should I say?? Should I bring it up? Not bring it up?" I didn't want to offend her bringing up her weight or disappoint her by not bringing it up.

I went with - "You look great!"

The most common euphamism I use for - 'wow you've lost weight' - is 'Wow, you're looking really well' Personally I like to cut my friends a break - it is so hard to know what to do; some of us get upset if no-one notices, others feel people are being shallow or too personal for commenting on our appearance, and others read it as telling us we looked awful before (tbh - I did and I knew it) I just try and accept comments in a positive light - although I would be short with anyone who expressed the hope that I didn't put it all back on (as if I would wish to) and anyone who tells me I look old, haggard or too thin - I'm 64, deal with it.

now that I've reached ~45 lbs lost I've been getting weight loss comments. some have been nice/encouraging, along the lines of "you're looking great!" or "way to kick butt!"

the only type that's been annoying is friends that have said, "you're so skinny/thin now!" this bothers me a bit because I'm not skinny or thin currently--my BMI is still over 30 and my waist is ~39 inches--and it implies (or at least I infer) that I'm at a healthy weight. however, I think what they mean is skinnier/thinner than before.

definitely not the worst thing to hear, but I'm trying to push back a little on the verbiage.

epangili wrote: »

2. Asian American BMI chart labeling me "Overweight" at 22.6 bmi.

BAH the Asian American BMI chart is my downfall!!!!!!!!!

Least favorite, “So, what did you do? Just not eat?”

My favorite comment years ago and it has been etched into my memory. “You are not bigger than a minute.” Looking forward to hearing that again someday.

I have to give a shout out to the people I affectionately refer to as my 'aqua ladies'.

Most of my classes are water based and I genuinely have not come across a nicer, more lovely group of women. They are happy for me and what I'm doing, and they take notice of my achievements. It's like having my own little (not so little - 50 ish ladies!) cheering squad.

They make me walk taller, work harder and take note of what I'm achieving. I know I'm too hard on myself but they make me look and see what I'm accomplishing.

So some people are just fabulous. I lucked upon my aqua ladies and I wish for you guys to find someone like them to cheer you on.

bear2303 wrote: »

I had one this week that kind of irritated me. A female colleague of mine who is very thin told me i was looking good and another female colleague came up and agreed. First female colleague says to the second "I know right? what a great figure she was hiding under there"

I just thought it was a pretty rude thing to say. i know that she was saying it as a compliment but i have a hard time with people making comments like that. My body wasn't hiding, i'm not hiding i'm just living in a healthier place right now. so frustrating

Ick. I hate how so many people are conditioned to hate their bodies if they're not perfect. Yeah, we're working on making our bodies better, but that doesn't mean we hate our bodies and are "hiding under there".

I want to get a t-shirt that says, "Don't ask." LOL. That way it just cuts this situation all out.

Introduced myself to a neighbor’s new girlfriend at a party Saturday night. She looked me up and down, light dawned, and she blurted out in her finest Southern social accent, “Ooooo-hhhh! You’re the one who used to be so fay-at! Everyone’s told me about yew. We talk about yew alll the tiiiime, honey! Everyone says yew are just like a mere-a-cul!”

🤷🏻‍♀️

@springlering62 - that’s really unfortunate that that happened to you. I would be floored.
But I tagged you just because (as a European) I found your way of writing the southern USA accent sooooo funny ! So thanks for that, I am still laughing as I write this.