200+ Haulin' Off The Weight

Well, that was, like, no fun at all. I think i am finally through it. Thank goodness. The worst part was being that sick with four kids in the house and none of them self-sufficient in any way. Wiggle can work the tv and Twinkle can express her needs pretty clearly, so it wasn't too bad.

IT'S MY LAST DAY WITH THE MONSTERS!!! Can I get an "Amen?!" I don't think I have ever been so glad to see the end of a month. Ever. School starts tomorrow. Wiggle goes to preschool 4 days a week from 9 a.m. to noon, so it will just be Twinkle and I in the mornings. I am looking forward to my time with her, and we are going to put some miles on that jogging stroller, fo sho!! YAY!!

Pam: I can READ your excitement over your NSVs this weekend. How exciting is that!? You are so awesome.

Hosanna: I am so glad you are home safely. Good luck with your fund raiser. I think you are awesome for trying to help your friend.

Lacey: You are doing a great job of seeing the positive in each situation this week. I know you are making it a priority to not dwell on the yuck, and I think you're doing a great job. I am praying for your mom and dad, and for you. If I were closer, I would help you with Grace.

Annette: I am so sorry for your pup. Do they know what is causing this? We had a (stupid) dog for a long time that ate rocks. That got very expensive very fast.

Nava: We had Smokey Macaroni and Cheese here the night before last and it was divine. My kids gobble it up like it's gold...but what they don't know is that I have hidden a ton of veggies in it. HA! I win.

Bobbie: I fee the exact same way about meat substitutes. Exactly.

Well, I have to get to gettin' on with my day. I have a meeting with a gal to teach her to budget, coupon, and generally learn how to stop spending money as if it came out of the kitchen faucet. She will be here in 45 minutes and my house looks like I was sick yesterday.

I'll check in with you girls later!!

Well, I feel like I have failed...yet again. Why does food have such a rediculous hold on me? People say you have to want it, well I'm sure I've never met an over weight, obese person that enjoyed being overweight or obese. We all "want" to be healthier, happier, and "normal." So what is it? What is that "AH HA," that just makes everything go "smooth" for some and not for others?

Again I know that everyone is different, and we will all lose at different paces, but I just read a womans story that lost 106lbs in 9 months. Now, that is some real determination right? How did this happen. All people say is "eat less, move more." Well....DUH!

I just can't seem to get it. I can't seem to stay on track for more than a week. I mean, I'll see results on the scale and feel great, but then there is an event, a party, a weekend away, and it's like a free for all. I should be able to go to a gathering and just eat like I usually do, but no. For some reason I feel like I will never again have the opportunity to eat "grandma's brownies" or whatever the case may be. I know all well and good that they will be at the next gathering or event, and idk.....there is another meal yet to come. So why is my brain so confused?

Reasons why I want to lose 125 lbs.
1. I want to be HOT
2. I want to go shopping in normal stores
3. I want my husband to be able to pick me up
4. I want feel comfortable in the "boom boom" room.
5. I want my children to have a great role model.
6. I don't want to be the "fat mom" on the side lines.
7. I want to be able to keep up with my kids and their activities.
8. I want to feel like I belong in my skin, with confidence (real confidence) and not the facade that choose to show people.

You would think all of these reasons would fill my head when I look at cake and candies and salty feasts, yet only sometimes they do. Other times, the worry, anxiety, nervousness, and such take over and I can't resist. I shouldn't say I "can't." I should say I give in. So, what do all of you do to keep going? When people say, "nothing tastes as good as thin feels," I want to punch them inthe face. I have never been "thin" so I have no idea what it feels like, but I sure do know that those cookies over there tase spectacular....

So, I have a nasty scab over part of my surgery incision but every day it gets looser and looser and I am looking forward to when it falls off and I have my foot looking less like a slasher movie prop and more like a foot. Well, this evening The Hubbs was examining my scab and he asked me what color my stitches were. I told him they were blue and why did he ask. He said, "uh, I think there's one still in there..." Yup, there was. I had to remove my own freaking stitch today. Awesome.

Lacey: I am a real believer in getting dressed up nice every day because it makes you feel better about yourself. I could wander around most days in PJ's with dirty hair and no one would notice or care, but I feel better about me when I wear cute clothes, do my hair and put makeup on, even if I never leave the house.

Rikki: I think that saying about nothing tasting as good as thin feels is lame-tarded. I've been thin for most of my life and I can tell you that food is a big part of who a person is. Food is a happy thing. People use food to celebrate, to instil traditions, to enjoy their cultures and to comfort. I think the biggest mistake some dieters make is to vow to never have another....brownie/ pie/ cake/ enchilada/drink of alcohol/or whatever your favorite food might be. Food is very closely linked to emotions and there isn't really any way to unlink that. What you have to learn to do is to NOT deprive yourself of the foods you love, but rather to just eat a reasonable amount. This is a NEW revelation for me. I used to be "good" for a week or so and then allow myself a "cheat day" where I would break down and eat everything I had been denying myself while being "good". My weight wouldn't really go down and I would feel like crap about myself for not having "proper control". It wasn't working for me so I have changed my attitude toward treats. I allow myself treats whenever they fit into my calories for the day. I made those blackberry cinnamon rolls on Sunday and ate ONE. The leftovers sat in the fridge and The Hubbs and The Kid eventually ate them all up but they didn't "call" to me like they would have if I didn't allow myself to eat any. I knew I could eat one any time I wanted but I was cool with the one I had on Sunday and didn't feel compelled to eat any more. For me, the deprivation makes me insane when I get around special foods and I can't stop eating them. So I combat that by not depriving myself. I eat healthy every day but I also have a treat of some sort on most days (if sweets aren't your thing, you could switch out a treat for a glass of wine or some full fat cheese or whatever thing you've not been allowing yourself to eat) and I am a MUCH happier person these days AND the weight is slowly coming off.

Kristina: travel throws off my routine too. I haven't yet come up with a plan for the Paris/Bruges trip to "stay on track", I guess I'll see how it goes.

Sarah (WnT): I'm glad you are feeling better! Congrats on the the last day with the monsters.

Bobbie: WTG, being down another 5 pounds! That's awesome!!

Megan: Yay for long weekends!

Well, I made homemade soup from scratch last night with lots of spinach and swiss chard from our CSA...super nutritious and really yummy, but HOLY COW was it ever labor intensive to make. It took me 2 1/2 hours! Whew. I had intended to make enough to freeze, but I had a bit of a blender accident with part of the batch (as in, part of the lid was blended in with the soup), so I only got like 5 servings out of it. Boo.

Also, why is it when I eat the most healthy food that my stomach seems to go the most nuts, and yet I could eat some processed crap and be fine? I've been shunning processed/not healthy/non-organic foods for the last year (as much as possible) so you would think that my stomach might've realized what's good for it by now. Sheesh.

Rikki, I have to constantly keep my goals at the forefront of my mind to make it work. In my mind I have literally turned off the option to "cheat," making everything a do a conscious decision. If I really want to eat something but I don't have the calories left for it, I either don't eat it, or I eat it knowing that I'll have to work out more to make up for it, or I eat it knowing full well that I'll be over my calories for the day, possibly stall progress, and wind up feeling guilty. Whatever option I choose, I make myself fully aware of the consequences before I do it. Also, like Amy, I don't have any food that is considered "cheating" or "not allowed." If I want ice cream I will have ice cream, and I mean the real, full fat, homemade or Haagen Dazs Five ice cream that is super smooth and delicious, not that low fat stuff with all kinds of chemicals and preservatives. However, I'm not eating the whole pint -- I measure out my 1/2 cup, record it on MFP, and move on, satisfied. Speaking of MFP, it has been such a HUGE help to me as far as staying focused on the goal. Not only because of all of the wonderful people on this board, but because I'm on it all the time recording my food, thinking about my food, thinking about my exercise, seeing the progress others have made, etc. It seems like the more time I spend on MFP, the more focused I am on my goal and the more accountable I am to myself.

That having been said, we all have some kind of problem with food or we wouldn't be on here! my problem with food has never been emotional (I'm not a snacker, I don't eat when I'm bored, stressed, whatever), but I know that for many people it is and that makes things even harder. One of my good friends is an emotional eater, and she told me that she's started asking asking herself "why do I want to eat this?" before any snacks. If the answer is "I'm bored" or "I'm stressed" or anything other than "My stomach is growling and I need food" then she remembers her goal and walks away.

One thing is for sure -- you're on the right track being here! These ladies are truly inspiring!


Bobbie, I've noticed that I've gotten a little more afraid of heights as I've gotten older too. I really like hiking in the mountains though; so pretty! Not all of the hikes I do are high up though...there's a fairly flat trail by a lake not too far from my house that I love. I just love being outside! Unless it's sweltering hot, then I'm not hiking anywhere. :laugh:

Annette, I made it to level 3 of Shred and now have started back at level 1 to run through it one more time. It's not easy, but it sure does make you feel accomplished! I'm sorry about your dog. :frown:

Amy, I followed your lead and took a rest day yesterday. My calf muscles are still yelling at me, but they're a little better. I needed that. Removing your own stitch? Ouch!

Hosanna, what a great idea! I hope you're able to raise a lot of money. I know you're up for the challenge!

Lacey, that's sounds like one crazy dog walking session! I hope things are going okay with your dad...

Sarah(WnT), I'm glad you're feeling better. Being sick with four kids around has got to be ROUGH. Yay for school starting!

Kristina, it is always so hard for me to stay on target when I travel. It always messes me up for a couple of days after I get back too. I feel your pain, but it seems like you're getting off on the right foot with logging and exercise!


Okay, that was WAY longer than I imagined it would be. Back to work!

34.25 minutes left of this. Not that I'm counting...

Check in for Tuesday: 2496 calories burned/ 1624 calories consumed/ 872 calorie deficit

Hosanna: I've done that whole work-all-night-go-straight-to -a-function thing in the morning and is SUCKS. It also tends to trigger a migraine in me as lack of sleep is a migraine trigger for me more than anything else.

Sarah(WnT): I'm hoping you survived your last half hour with the monsters!

Karen: Good job getting back into the running! You're right, when you don't run for a little while your fitness level drastically drops. I can't wait to see how pathetic I am when I start back up with the running after the foot is healed.

Pam: You must have a super-powered blender! There's no way my blender could even hope to blend part of the lid, it would explode or something (I have a wussy blender).

Lacey: I plan on eating whatever strikes my fancy in Paris & Bruges but to work on listening to my body to decide if I am actually hungry or not (I'm WAY bad at listening to my body and tend to just shovel food in cuz it's there).

The Hubbs has his PT test today, so he was all worked up about being able to pass it. I don't know why, he's been in the military for 11 years and I've never seen him NOT pass his test. The weather has cooled down significantly so I think it's perfect running weather for him. It's also perfect weather to remind me of autumn and to make me want to make and eat things with pumpkin in them. Mmmmm....pumpkin......

I believe that Santa makes the calories consumed in December not count as a Christmas present to us all.

Hey gals. I was totally absent yesterday, as I had the day from hell. My son got sick on Monday, and was throwing up. Thought it was just a little bug. startingat 3 am Tuesday, he started throwing up every hour, and in large amounts. My mom offered to stay home with him so I didn't have to miss work and he could rest. I ended up having to leave work at noon to take him to the doctor. The doctor sent us straight to urgent care where he had to be hooked up to an IV, get blood work done and have a bag attached to collect urine. Apparently, he did/does have a virus, but it got so bad that he was dehydrating, which was making him more nauseated and causing him to vomit even more. Blood work came back fine. Phew. Got a bunch of fluid in with the IV and once he woke up they started giving him 5mL of pedialyte every 5 minutes to see if he could keep it down. Then they upped it to 10mL, then 15mL. He ended up drinking 2 oz of pedialyte, a whole juicebox of apple juice, and some orange gatorade. That is on top of 450cc of IV fluids. The kid would NOT pee. He had only peed once at that point yesterday and it was at noon. 8 pm rolled around and he still would not pee. Finally the doctor said he was comfortable enough with the blood tests that he would send us home. As soon as we got in the car, he peed. Little bugger. He is still quite lethargic and drained but he slept all nite and no vomit. Yay. Scared the crap out of me.

As a result of all of this, I had only had a yogurt and a cup of coffee at work. I was so thirsty and starving to death by the time we got out of there. No way was I cooking, so my husband picked up some Long John Silver's. I only felt guilty for about 2 seconds, I was so damn hungry. I logged it all though, and obviously still stayed under calories since I basically fasted all day. Still not healthy, but so goes life. I ate 6 hushpuppies tho. Looking back on that one, ew. I was also emotionally, physically exhausted from being up all night the night before with him so I opted out of the gym this morning. So I haven't been in two days, but will be heading back tomorrow morning. I'm trying not to get to upset with myself about any of it, because like I said, this is life. Things like this happen. There will be times when fast food and its convenience will be a necessity and times when sleep is more important than cardio. I just need to lay off the hushpuppies! Eeek!

hump day!

Just letting you all know that i am staying off of the scale until Friday on weigh-in day. I've been gaining and losing the same 2-3 pounds for what seems like a month now. I know I'm doing great this week with food and exercise alike, so I'm going to let Friday morning be a surprise. and hopefully it's a good one even though TOM is near, very near.

also, can i ask some advice? As you know, i recently started talking to the ex again. (We will call him K.) I think we have communicated more these past 5 days than what we did in 2 years of being together. (I honestly think it was some of the family counseling he went to with his daughter...which is great.) Anyways, since me and K are talking, I had to tell the new boy that i was dating that I couldn't see him anymore. The thing about it is, i liked him. he was very nice, considerate, loads of fun, but i was (am) still in love with my ex. It wasn't fair to the new one to lead him on like that. So i told him, and he took it like a bombshell, because it was. I told him the truth though and he said he understood because he's been in a similar situation with his ex. ANYHOO, i got a message from him on facebook last night that said "so....text me. I think we need to go get a drink and talk....like seriously"

i texted him this morning and told him that i got his message on fb. My question is what i should do about this?? Tell K and see what he thinks??? (Btw, he knows about this guy. i told him about our dating and he's kind of jealous that i spent my time with him while we were separated. I told him Tough.) Tell the new guy that i don't think that would be a good idea???? Just go and not tell my ex???? (<---i don't like that idea because i'm not that type of person) I dont' even know if i should have to put myself in this situation. We only dated for a short bit and I've told him everything i could tell him. But i would also hate to not get closure of some sort, so do i owe him that? i don't know what to do!!!

hi! hi! hi!

My week continues to be insane, and my ovaries continue to punch me from the inside out. This week has been SO hard for me to get up and work out. I just want to lay around and do nothing. But I'm not. I'm powering through.

Of course I don't have a ton of time, so I'm just gonna touch on a couple of things I read.

Megan, I am a big fan of closure. I think its really important. And so is honesty. If your ex truly loves you and wants to be with you and support you, then you should be able to tell him that you are going to meet the other guy you were dating so that you can talk to him and make sure that HE has closure. I don't think you have to choose to either lie to your ex or ignore the other guy. Just be honest and up front. They should care about you enough to respect your needs. On the other hand, if you have no desire whatsover to see the guy you were dating, then just tell him that. Text him or FB him and say tell him you are sorry but its done, no ifs and or butts. Especially if you're worried that he's the kind of guy that won't go away. If he's one of those, then you gotta be a little mean, a little firm... or he'll never leave you alone.

Rikki, I think we have all spent the majority of our life struggling with what food means to us, and how we feel in our own skin. As usual, Amy is full of wisdom and insight on this, and I agree with her. I think the biggest way I save myself now when I'm in a situation where there's a ton of amazing food in front of me is to constantly be thinking to myself "This is NOT the last time I will have incredible food in front of me. Am I full? Am I full? Am I full?" If I continuously remind myself that I will have incredible food again in my future, then its easier to stop eating it at the present time. I am also the kind of person who has to be thinking about whether or not I'm hungry all the time, otherwise I will just eat. Because food is amazing. And it makes me happy. The thing is, when I was overeating, when I was on the verge on morbidly obese, food was amazing, but I was NOT HAPPY. I'd eat and eat and eat and then feel awful about it. I'd spend the rest of my day/afternoon/evening regretting what I had done. So really, I wasn't getting what I should out of my food. Its such an incredible feeling to have something delicious to eat, and enjoy it, but to know when enough is enough and walk away. Because then, afterwards, I can still remember it as a positive experience, instead of hating myself for it. So there's my input on that. I think its a battle we all have to fight for ourselves, to come up with what it is that will make you want to fight for your beauty and your health day in and day out, but also to still allow yourself to love, experience, and enjoy all the incredible foods of the world and the cultures and traditions that go with each and every one of them. Seriously, where would the fun be in life without birthday cakes? Or pizza and football? Or wine and cheese? Or Thanksgiving dinner?

Rain, omg I LOVE Long John Silver's Hush Puppies. Like crack, they are.

Annette, just thinking about you and praying for your dog. That's not fun.

Amy, I can't believe that your Dr. missed a stitch AND you took it out yourself. This is an all around FAIL. And I agree on the looking nice for the sake of you thing. Sometimes I just take the time in the morning to get ready for work like I would get ready to go out at night, just because it makes me feel good all day long.

Lacey, when do you head to Europe? I know its in September. I can't believe that trip is coming up so quickly. You guys are going to have an AMAZING time. (insert jealous/shifty smile here).

Let's see, what else... oh yeah - 2 questions to post to the group...

Who here has a food scale? What brand do you have? Do you love it? I somehow still don't have one, and I know that needs to happen, so I'm lookin' for some input.

Running question - do you take water with you on your runs? I've heard different opinions on this.... like that its better to hydrate a bunch before and after but not during for the sake of performance, but I've also heard that once you're running more than 5 miles you should be hydrating every mile or so. Plus a bajliion other theories. So I would like to hear yours.

Ok, that's all I've got time for. Have I mentioned yet that I want this week to be over? Well I do. A lot.

Edit - did I mention I ran the fastest 4 miles yet yesterday? 40 minutes, 4.06 miles - 6.1 miles per hour! My average heart rate was 179 (yeah - it kicked my butt!)