WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2020
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Couldn't get on to MFP for some reason yesterday, got even more behind. I've spent ages this morning catching up with the rest of January post it's taken ages, but the house is in such a mess at the moment (DS is laying floorboards and says it's too cold to do the plaining/sawing outside!) I thought I catch up and do all the cleaning when he has finished for the day.
Lisa - what am I longing for? I'm like a few others, I long for the impossible. DH back would be my starter, but that's not gonna happen. I'm quite content in my own way, I am lucky that I have reasonable health (need to work on being healthier though!) I don't want to end up like my mum, crippled and hardly able to walk. I have no financial worries to speak of and have enough to cope with an emergency.
Kelly - what makes my heart skip a beat? Music soothes my soul as does sunshine, I always feel so much better when the sun is shining. I love the sea and would love to move to the seaside so I could walk on the beach every day. Mind you these sound like things I am longing for
Talking of sunshine, it is actually peeking out of the grey clouds as I type - oh no it's gone back in again ! I had a spark of pleasure for a minute there
Think I'd better make a start on helping DS, heard a lot of swear words coming from his direction.
I'll catch up with the February posts later.
Love to all
Viv UK
5 -
Can't believe it is February already. Ended January with all holiday spike gone. My major goal I had for myself was to make it to the gym at least three days a week and do what the trainer scheduled for me. Happy to say I did that. I do feel better for it. Don't want to necessarily drop any more weight but would like to continue to tone and strengthen.
So many different conversations going on the last week of January-can't really comment on all of them. I do relate to so many of them (family issues, disconnected friends). While I don't like hearing the pain of others, it is so helpful knowing that we all go through similar things, so we are not unique. I find comfort in that and it helps keep my life in perspective.
Have been giving thought to expanding social activities somewhat. Since husband died have not had a lot of connections. The last few years of his life we became a bit isolated and friendships drifted away. While many people showed up at funeral etc., and I heard the condolences and the comments about them continuing to support, haven't seen many of them. I think in part because so many are couples and they don't think of including the newly single. Not sure what next steps will be but am convinced if I am open to things possibilities will present themselves.
Off to do Saturday routine. Have a 9 am meeting at church for a committee I am on, will stop on store on way home. Plan on taking an easy weekend but have several chores to complete that will keep me busy.
Happy February all!
Ginny in Ohio4 -
Tips that have worked for me
Put your current numbers into MFP
Select sedentary as your activity level
Choose how much you'd like to lose (i.e. 1 lb/week)
MFP will give you the number of calories to eat
Eat those calories
... and weigh (with food scale) and log every bite.
A few extra things have helped me along the way:
1) Exploring my grocery stores and markets to find delicious, filling low calorie foods. It's amazing what's out there.
2) Exercising as much as possible. Exercise gives me extra calories to work with so that I can have things like pizza now and the ... but to keep my sanity and not wear myself out, my exercise quantity varies as does what I do for exercise.
3) Eating how I want to eat. This is where everyone is different ... some people prefer to employ fasting, others like high protein diets, some like vegetarian diets, some like to eat 2 or 3 meals a day, others like to graze. Go with what works for you.
Personally, if I had to define what I do, my diet is probably most similar to a Mediterranean diet with a vegetarian lean ... and I'm a grazer. I also have to adjust what I do depending on my cycling events ... they're tricky because I need the fuel without going overboard.
And stick to it for 5 weeks, then reassess how things are going.
2020 Goals.
It is difficult to make goals because I'm not sure what's going to happen one day to the next. I plan, God laughs ... or something like that. The last couple years have been a lesson in patience and flexibility and giving up a lot of what I would like to do in the interests of what needs to be done.
This site has some interesting tips about setting goals:
How to Set SMART Goals for 2020
SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.
https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/smart-goal-setting
Interestingly, he talks about 7 significant areas ...
Financial Goals: Start saving for retirement, get out of debt, or use a monthly zero-based budget.
Spiritual Goals: Pick up a new devotional, start a daily journal, or plug in to a group at your church.
Fitness Goals: Hit the gym more often, take the stairs, and remember to eat your veggies.
Educational Goals: Go back to finish your degree, get your MBA, or read a good book every month.
Family Goals: Plan one-on-one dates with your kids, have a standing date night with your spouse, or make it a point to call your mom and dad on Sunday nights.
Career Goals: Work toward a promotion or raise, learn something new about your line of work, or polish up and send out resumés if you’re looking for a new career path.
Social Goals: Say yes when someone invites you out to lunch or a social gathering—or, for some of us, say no more often.
I've modified this slightly ...
Organisation/Financial Goals -- Getting our taxes done and other paperwork in order.
Spiritual Goals -- I'd like to start attending church a bit more regularly. I'll also include relaxation and recreation in here. Down time. I get very little of that at the moment and need more. For me that might be sleep and photography.
Fitness Goals -- Exercise, Eating, Sleeping -- Working up to running 5 km at least a couple times a month. Working up to cycling 50 km at least once a month. ** I'm hoping to run a 5 km sometime in February!! **
Educational Goals -- Uni! I would like to finish my Master's degree in 2020. ** This will be interesting, given the coronavirus situation. Right now at least half my classmates are not allowed into Australia. Will the classes go ahead?? **
Family/Medical Goals -- Husband -- Never-ending stream of medical appointments + projects with 2 or 3 different organisations. And me! A goal is to get me into healthy shape again!
Career Goals -- One of the main things my area is planning to work on is streamlining the processes a bit. Meanwhile I need to learn a lot more SQL and as much about what 2 different people I work/worked with did. I'm also on the board of two organisations now. Both interest me a lot, but I'm also hoping that taking on leadership roles might help advance my career a little. ** I spent January updating our Knowledge Base ... I'll probably keep working on that for the first couple weeks of Feb at least. It's part of the streamlining processes thing. **
Social Goals -- Cycling Club. I've made a detailed list of what I need to do, which helps.
-- My Personal Website -- I have started working on this. I'd post it here, but not sure if I can: machka . net This has a social aspect in that we go to Wordpress meetings now and then.
Challenges -- I've joined 3 challenges in the Challenges forum.
If challenges appeal to you, don't forget about MFP's Challenges subforum:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/categories/challenges
Machka in Oz4 -
Forgot to thank Barbie for the new thread. I really, really appreciate it.
I was looking at some happiness quotes to cheer myself up today and this one resonated with me. It's in tune with my UNLEASH theme.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Good morning beautiful ladies 💐💐💐!!!Happy February 1st.Thank you,Barbie for bringing us into another month,a new day and a fresh start!!!
Karen-I’m sorry about Jeanette,obviously she is not aware of the Amazing woman you are.I know how hard it is to let relationships go ,but maybe it’s time.We all love and appreciate you here-I know it’s not the same as the friendship you had with her,but she doesn’t deserve you.Prayers,hugs,love❤️,and gratitude for y’all.
Debby in Va
5 -
One thing I'm looking forward to, when I finish my Master's degree, is digitising my "paper", including photos and going through things like clothing and toiletries. I would love to clear a lot of stuff out of my home office and bathroom in particular, for a start.
How about you?
This is an interesting read ...
Most of Your Stuff Is Worthless :: 3 Things You Should Be Doing NOW to Reduce What You Own
https://dallas.momcollective.com/most-of-your-stuff-is-worthless-3-things-you-should-be-doing-now-to-reduce-what-you-own
Machka in Oz5 -
Debby Thank you so much for the kind words. I realized last night that I am pretty sure I lost a post that had a message for you about depression. You are so valued here. What you do every day, your work ethic & what you accomplish, is amazing. You are kind & thoughtful & should never apologize for sharing your dark times with us, your friends. I have lost 2 family members to suicide (father & sister) and have another brother who is on disability due to severe depression. Also several extended family members with histories, and I appreciate how disabling it can be. I love your positive message this morning!
Karen in Virginia8 -
I split up with a BFF many years ago. Our lives had diverged I had a baby she did not. She got married and didn't even tell me. I'm still sad 20yrs on.6
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »Didn't sleep much. Nuff said.
I'm a BFF kind of person. I've always had at least one friend with whom I have a "love" relationship and get excited about seeing them. It's not a sexual thing, but close. Currently my closest friend is my Portsmouth friend that I am seeing next week. I have been her friend since school days. She had a lot of problem coping with me meeting and marrying DH. I used to go on holiday with her. Fortunately she came through it, but I still feel a bit guilty. My previous BFF was my friend Ros who died last year. Truly loved her. She also felt rejected when I got together with DH. I think if I ever entered into a partnership with a female they would find that extremely hard.
I lost a BFF when I was splitting up with my husband. She found it all too difficult, but at least she could tell me that, which I appreciated and accepted.
The worst one was my friend Shirley who I wrote about in my memoir. She died just over a year ago of corticobasal degeneration. We split up, unexpectedly and without explanation, when the kids were young. It bothered and baffled me always, so I traced her through her husband just before she died. Very sad. I can only guess at her reasons.
All these break ups leave scars as our BFFs are huge parts of our lives. Luckily most of my good old friends are still around, even if I don't see them regularly. My female friends sustain me and create a happy warm map of hotspots wherever they live.
My mother also had BFFs which lasted all their lives. I think I inherited that need and capacity from her.
Usual Saturday today. Hair wash, newspaper, run?, curry. TV.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Heather
Thank you for putting some things into perspective for me (along with others, including Lisa & Beth).
The intimacy of a BFF relationship would inevitably be affected by a same-sex relationship. It's so simple when I think about it. I messed up a key part of my relationship with Jeanette by experiencing emotional romantic intimacy with a woman.
In retrospect, my relationship with my partner messed up more than one relationship. It messed up my relationship with my son and with my daughter-in-law's parents who were close friends…and were parishioners of my partner, who was a UU minister at the time…oh it was so life-altering in so many ways. My partner ended up losing her church over it…and I could go on but I'll end it there for today.
>>>
This morning as I was finally drifting off around 5 a.m. my partner rolled through dog poop on the kitchen floor. Yes she did. You can't make this stuff up.
Karen in Virginia
8 -
Welcome February! and thanks Barbie for keeping us together.
I'm enjoying a cup of coffee (or two) before DH and I go for a walk on a different trail today, hopefully the rain won't be too heavy!
Sue Happy Birthday.
Ginny hugs to you, I don't know the answer to reaching out except to keep at it. My widowed friend (she was a caretaker for her disabled husband for 10 traumatic years) has told me that it is difficult straddling the differences between friends that are couples, they are afraid of widowhood and don't want to face what she is facing every day. She has said that for some they simply are too afraid to hang out with her because they don't want to face her sadness or know what to say to her. But she reaches out regularly, schedules lunch dates and it's true she tends to lean towards singles, not couples. She has a lot of divorced and widowed friends. She's retired and we catch up for lunch about once a month. My friend is not shy, she'll just call it as she sees it, and will focus on active choices (ski friends, travel friends, volunteer friends, old work friends, church friends)
Feb goals: Walk on Treadmill, drink water, declutter a little every day!
NYKAREN
5 -
"Todo"s and "done"Done: BB&B, invest 20 mins cleaning Master & Guest bd, call Chief for Visa, call JME to order turnout racks, walk up hill, line dance.Thank you Barbie! You are our rock!
Bonus: 27 mins other cleaning Master Bth.
ToDo: write thank you note to Carolyn L, veg prep, schedule dexa with CHN, bake bran muffins, call Carolyn D, Next week get complete series TDAP, following week Shingrix vaccine.
January vs /December summary- baby steps better in all but dance (!)
daily: steps=29%/23%, vits 90%/76% log=100%/100% CI<CO=81%/68% CI<250<CO=39%/19% Tumble 5/10=45%/35% mfp=100%/100% AF=55%/52% outside=48%/42%
wkly: BBBorTC x2=82%/67%, rx=75%/75% dance=69%/75% pack walk=28%/19%, review progress on 20 for 20: 2 done, 2 in progress.
mnthly: board mtg=100%/100% grant=100%/100%
February strategy-same or better than January. Add 10 mins cleaning and 10 mins outside to daily.
Daily: log , weigh, vits, CI<CO, CI <250 CO, Tumble (5 mins training or 10 mins grooming), check in mfp, 10 mins outside, 10 mins cleaning.
3 days/wk: Better Bones & Balance
Weekly: rx, 2 nights dance class, 2 days pack walk (allowing for weather), review progress on 20 for 20.
Monthly: firehouse board meeting, grant work.
Bonus: AF, average steps > 5344 (Oct average), walk up hill, finish dog group email list, sew something, play something.
KJ reading your “crossing incredibly high or narrow footbridges” made me giddy in a most unpleasant way :sick: but I’ve always had a “thing” about bridges, absorbed from Mama ;}
Kylia great NSVs! Would you tell me more about your shark IQ? Can you somehow limit it to one area? Does it really pick up dog hair? Be still my heart!
Machka from 104F to snow in 3 days? And I thought Idaho weather was variable. :noway:
Welcome @santd come join us on this month’s thread https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10783126/women-ages-50-for-february-2020#latest
Flea yes a very sweet and beautiful boy. Hoping caught early and medication gives good quality couple of years. As for more administrative responsibility, does it come with an assistant? Or are they just trying to get you to do 3 people’s work for 1.5 people’s pay?
Karen in VA praying for you and your Jeanette. Even though she’s rewritten history and her feelings have changed, I believe somewhere inside she is hurting for missing you too, Your longing for your bff really resonates with me, as my BFF of 30+ years passed way way way too soon.
Beth thank you for sharing your mother’s wisdom. Time for me to find a new gyno. How do I know? :laugh: should have said AA tastes like BB smells
Belated best birthday Sue! 72 no longer seems awfully old, to me… as I approach my 70th I’m thinking “70 is the new 40” or maybe 50
Lanette I have to agree with you about Karen’s Connie and her motivations. IMHO good people don’t love to gossip. People who need to feel important by passing on what they know that you don’t, and don’t care who is hurt, well :devil: Me three!
Welcome Bellingham lady, helengray1965, glad you found us.
A dreadful nightmare (someone chasing after me, threatening me with a shotgun, 911 dispatcher laughed and hung up…) awakened me at 1:30. Chatting and catching up with you has dispelled the residual cauld grue. Hoping for a restful hour’s zzzzs.
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMODFebruary: better than January.
daily: steps= 3015 Thursday, 6057 Friday , vits 28 log=31 CI<CO=25 CI<250<CO=12 Tumble 5/10=14 mfp=31 outside=15
wkly: BBBorTC x3=9, rx=3 dance=5.2 pack walk=3.5
mnthly: board mtg=1 grant= 1
Bonus AF=17 dog group email list= sew= play=6 -
Yyy1
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well I am showered and dressed and Mary will pick me up at 8:45 and we will go to wake and funeral..
I rarely have lost any friends , but lately its more funerals I go to.. my friend that passed away was about 6 months older than me, and poor girl had a hard life,,,she was a friend to all and will miss her,,
we are going to my friend Zina's dads services, we have all worked together for 14 yrs and she is like sister to us..
the last wedding i was supposed to go to, my DFIL was on his way out so I missed that one.. But I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason.. so I try and go with the Flow and know the good lord has a plan for me.
I did print out an application for part time assistant senior coordinator for a couple towns away.. and will drop off my application and resume on Tuesday .. cant hurt for trying and you know I would love it.5 -
Hello everyone.
Wow, it has only been a few days and I have missed a lot of discussions. I wish I could say I am caught up with the end of January but will slowly get there. This is one fast-moving group.
Barbie - Thank you so much for keeping us together and creating February's thread. You are truly dedicated to the group and I appreciate you!
Hugs to all and prayers to those in need.
SuziQ - SFL3 -
Hello,
I'm new here to MFP. Not sure if you can see this as I still use the free version of the software. Not sure how robust the forums are for non-paying MFP users.
Turned 50 and experienced menopause in 2019. I also have been letting the pounds creep up. It's time to get back to work and stop just coasting through my days.
1. Goal for February is to find a Dr. who can help balance out my hormones. My GP wants to take me off HRT, but I'm not ready yet. I took a "break" from HRT and felt like I'd been hit by a bus after only 10 days. Menopause has been disabling for me. Due to symptoms of menopause, I've been unable to continue in my career. I stepped down to a part time, retail sales job, which has helped.
2. Also Goal for February: exercise 6x a week! It doesn't have to be vigorous exercise, but I need to create the habit of getting into the gym every day.
I'm not sure if I can lose weight, considering my hormone levels, but that would be nice, too.
Cheers, Rochelle from Portland, Oregon, USA.
8 -
It's February, ladies!
We are off to a new start - thank you Barbie!
One more comment on girlfriends - Karen in VA, Ginny - I thought a lot about girlfriends I've lost touch with and vice versa because of getting married and the "couple" thing, general business and neglect, or the fact that we are now separated by miles. In a sense, since my DH rarely leaves the house and socially I'm on my own, I've had to develop my own friendships. It's working.
OK, review of last month. My goal was to find an eating plan that was simple and sustainable. Here's my journey into clean intermittent fasting (time restricted eating) thus far. The upshot is I've taken off around 6 lbs since mid December, my favorite jeans now not only fit but are too big, and inflammation is down. Details here (apologies for all of the bullets, I cannot get rid of them):- I restrict food anywhere from 12 to 20 hours, depending on degree of hunger and my schedule. Eating window generally closes at 4 or 4:30 pm.
- I “clean fast” = plain coffee, black tea or water. No flavors or additives of any kind. That’s the magic.
- I am back down to my pre-surgery weight of last August. Around 6 lbs lost in 7 weeks. All of my jeans now fit comfortably and my faves are too baggy to wear. And the microfiber undies I couldn’t wear last summer because they cut into the tops of my thighs… not a problem, don’t even know I have them on.
- Much less inflammation in my feet. Can actually go barefoot (on carpeting) without feeling like I’m stepping on gravel.
- Blood pressure back down. Daily Qigong and Wu Chi standing postures likely helping as well.
- No more nightly sugar cravings/before bed binges on candy, cookies and chips. I've had a few forays into the cookie jar during the past few weeks, but nothing major.
- I need to mention … I went through some pretty nasty bloating and painful gas about 3 weeks in from what I suspect was my gut biome changing. It’s happy now thanks to pre and pro biotics. From what I’ve read, this is common and some IF’ers who are really restrictive (19 hrs and above) become constipated or have loose stools constantly after breaking their fasts each day. And others sail right through.
- The jury is still out on the length of a fast for us older folks (nearing 70 and above). Valter Longo says no more than 12 hours. He says gall bladder problems possible… well not for me since mine is gone. Dale Bredesen, author of “The End of Alzheimers” recommends 12 hr fast, no food 3 hrs before bed but says OK to have extended fast up to 16 hours. My idea is to try for a 16 hour fast and if I'm not hungry, go ahead and push on. But don't get weak and jittery. By the way, I'm eating around 1600 to 1800 calories (or maybe much more or much less per day) but this is not about counting calories - it's eating dependent on hunger
- I’ve heard this type of IF is known as a “health plan with the side effect of weight loss”. I pretty much eat what I want, plenty of complex carbs, fiber, healthy fats, protein. Sweet treats are OK – like a cookie or a candy bar for dessert, which is satisfying. The idea is to keep insulin low and let the glucose drop so the body starts drawing from fat stores which can be at the 12-hour fasting mark. Folks with a lot of weight to lose might do better with Keto or low-carb. But there are plenty who lose doing a 16/8. Takes time and often the scale doesn’t reflect a loss, but there are significant decreases in measurements, clothing sizes, etc. from “body recomposition”. This might be anecdotal but worth noting.
- Lots of great resources – Beth’s favorite “AC-The Power of Appetite Correction” by Bert Herring, MD. “The Obesity Code” by Dr. Jason Fung. “Delay, Don’t Deny” by Gin Stephens and the associated Facebook group.
Rebecca - so glad to see IF is working for you! It's not as hard as I thought it would be. DH doesn't know I'm doing it, no one does except you gals, lol. Someone posted about not talking about it with people in general, like the fight club... "The first rule of the Fast Club is don't talk about the Fast Club" (to keep people from commenting it's not healthy, you'll starve, why not try WW or something else, etc. etc. - to avoid too much "helpful" unneeded advice!)
Beth - so sorry to hear about your hearing aid challenges. I popped mine in for a while last month, building up wearing time. My ear despises it-allergy to earpiece plastic? I took it out tho it helped a little - my problem is roaring tinnitus in the left ear. When the hearing in my right ear starts to fade I'll get serious again. Hugs to you.
I see I need to go back and review posts from the past several days, it's been super busy around here. Make it a super day, ladies and I'll catch you later.
((( Gigantic group hug to all of us who have lost trusted friends in our lives for various reasons )))
Lanette
Rainy SW WA State
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Machka from 104F to snow in 3 days? And I thought Idaho weather was variable. :noway:
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie
I think they call it snow-driven heat or heat-driven snow or something. Wind blows up from Antarctica, over mainland Australia where it heats up and down onto Tasmania ... but then the pressure system changes and the wind blows up from Antarctica and right over Tasmania without going as high as mainland Australia ... then the pressure system changes again ... over and over and over.
I've never lived in a place with such changeable weather. I know a lot of places claim, "If you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes" ... here, it's "If you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes and you'll get something at completely the opposite end of the spectrum".
Drives me crazy!! You can't plan for anything. I organise these cycling events, but I have absolutely no way of knowing what the weather will be like ... not even the slightest hint. So riders wait till the last possible second to sign up. We'll have no riders signed up for an event until about 2 hours before the deadline ... and all of a sudden we might have 1 or 5 or 16 or something.
If you go to Windy and watch the wind patterns over Tassie, you'll see ...
https://www.windy.com/
Right now the wind is coming straight up from Antarctica and they're predicting snow down to 800 metres on Sunday night. I might have to find my boots for Monday morning.
Machka in Oz3 -
(((Barbie)) ~ Thanks for getting us into February!
Karen in VA ~ So sorry for the loss of your longtime friendship.
Beth ~ You are a very insightful person and give such good advice. I am so sorry your hearing aids are not helping but hurting.
Machka ~ Love the photo of your roses!
Sue ~ Happy, Happy Birthday!
Rebecca ~ Your salad looks Yummy!
Lisa ~ Congrats on your weight loss.
I think we have all gone through life losing friendships that were very important to us. Sometimes it is so very hard to let it go and move on! And, then there are those friendships that have held steady through the years and will always give us joy. All we can do is be thankful for the good memories that all have brought.
Carol in GA
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Macha good article about stuff!1
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Barbie: Thanks for setting up the new thread.
☘️1
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