We broke up because...
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She didn't want to go to fantasy island
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I had to hear "Zee plane, zee plane" at least 8 times every.damn.day0
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They were too vanilla0
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I Lived a Vanilla bean lifestyle, simple yet versatile with that kick of spice that emerges every few licks. 🍦0
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She licked my cone.0
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He wouldn't let me lick his cone
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Said I licked too much.0
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I got tongue rash, but was otherwise pretty happy0
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Was pretty happy. So. I had to break up with him. Misery loves company.1
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I broke up with her for the makeups. I broke up with her every other day just for those0
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Wait...are we broke up today ? I need to know for purposes0
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PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Wait...are we broke up today ? I need to know for purposes
We were, but its makeup time0 -
Callousedthoughts wrote: »PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »Wait...are we broke up today ? I need to know for purposes
We were, but its makeup time
thought so 0 -
She was too busy making up with others.0
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She had candy deep within in her crawlspace. I was preparing to go in after it, but she went all Lord of the Rings on me with a "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" and slammed her sucker stick into the ground0
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He compared me to an old grey haired bearded dude often. I only have 37 grey hairs...most of which were caused by him.0
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I WAS PROMISED CANDY! And swimming, fishing, and eating delicious foodstuffs, and hammock.0
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Take back the old dude comment and we can try again...0
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She was so young and youthful looking, not a gray hair in sight.1
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He was addicted to his ex's "Candy0
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She was always talking about her Ex's "Candy”0
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I am NOT her "candy"0
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I found out about the crime ring she takes part in just one night a year... Halloween. 🍬🍭🍫0
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She didnt appreciate my exclusive parties on Halloween best time of the year0
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Such a party animal .. she never stopped 0
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Such a party pooper. She never started0
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Her dog pooped all over my party decorations 🥴0
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I wouldn’t attend her party because of social distancing. And the horrible smell from her decorations. 😖1
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Her idea of a social distancing party was me staying in Canada...that’s way more than the recommended 6’ or 2m0
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I was trying to keep her safe. I didn’t want her around anyone, including myself. But did she appreciate my concern for her wellbeing? No 😒0
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