The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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Make that “We Are the Luckiest”.
Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job listening to your body and mind. You must have needed a break from "to do lists".
Yes, I agree it is a matter of life and death. And we choose LIFE- sober and happy.
I read a quote from a celebrity who said "Sobriety is his job. Acting is his hobby." I agree. It does take a concerted effort especially the first few months - it is our job to stay sober. You are doing great!
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »So this morning, my partner knocked on my brothers door, he had slept in and we realised he had been boozing last night. Luckily he was able to take a holiday as his work had plenty people on today. PHEW. Cos he looked like death warmed up. I do not miss that hangover feeling when I have a day of work ahead of me. My heart actually broke a bit just looking at him. Red tired eyes. Pale, dry skin and a look that said "why did I do this to myself?" A look I have had many many times myself. I have suggested he try 30 day alcohol experiment and I gave him my Alan Carr book. Anyway. He asked if we all wanted to go for a walk. Which we did. Sun's out, blue skies so it was a nice walk. He then wanted to stop by the local pub/resturaunt that me and my partner had been in last Saturday.
It's such a weird experience gettin used to this 'new normal' 1 way entry systems etc. My bro constantly complained of the dreaded fear, post anxiety black cloud of impending doom. He felt something bad was gona happen. Again, I don't miss that! During our sit down outside sipping lemonades a man began talking to us. He was drinking beers (no judgement here) but I obviously noticed it. He then moved to sit closer by us and I did kinda worry that he planned to continue chatting while we ate (but he didn't). As he drank his beer I noticed he had a very red, ruddy complexion and he then told us he was recently out of jail, had lost his job and broke up with his wife. A part of me couldn't help but wonder, had alcohol possibly played a large part of these negative events in his life ? I was also kinda glad that my brother listened to him tell his story. I know myself how lucky I am to have survived my drinking days without any real lasting effects. Had I carried on? It could be me one day, telling folk how I lost it all.....
Sometimes we need these little "God winks" to remind us of our motivations for being sober. Talking to that man was impactful.
I recently saw a friend who told me she has been drinking a lot; her face looked so hard- deep wrinkles (she smokes too). I felt bad for her. Because I do know that alcohol is so dehydrating. I Have looked so puffy and red on many hangover mornings.4 -
@donimfp Great insight and I think it absolutely makes sense. In some ways, I've viewed at my 4+ months of sobriety as somewhere in between giving birth to a newborn and empty nest syndrome.
NEWBORN. It's not fun. It doesn't feel sexy (sometimes when I drink I feel sexy, but I'm sure I look so unsexy, lol). Having a newborn is exciting and terrifying. What is my new normal? What are all this *kitten* feelings that are overwhelming me? How do I have fun with this little thing? I'm so tired, but if I bring her to bed with me I might smother her. I have to be wary of things I think are a good choice and make sure they are the best for her. How do I discover new things we both enjoy and are safe and healthy for us? How o I do the things I used to do with my friends? Will they think I'm a drag now that I'm a mommy? I need to make some friends that also have newborns so we can relate, commiserate, and share beautiful stories and pictures of our newfound Loves.
EMPTY NEST. I'm free! I can sleep in or get up when I want. But I MISS THEM!!!! I'm feeling so empty. I think I'm doing ok, and then I see their jackets, or a friend pops by with her daughter in tow, and I think...it's not FAIR! I don't know how to fill my time. What is joy anymore? They were so part of my daily habit. Most of my friends still have kids at home, so when we get together, there's a lack of commonality. I need to find my own hobbies and joys.5 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »
Yes, I agree it is a matter of life and death. And we choose LIFE- sober and happy.
I read a quote from a celebrity who said "Sobriety is his job. Acting is his hobby." I agree. It does take a concerted effort especially the first few months - it is our job to stay sober. You are doing great!
You are right on!! Approaching sobriety as our job is the ticket to freedom from alcohol dependence. Immersing ourselves in education about the true nature of alcohol and the consequences that are inevitable, selecting who we spend our time with, namely, those who support our decision to stop drinking, and working on taking care of ourselves by giving ourselves some much needed TLC and time to unwind in healthy, productive ways that will enhance our lives & relationships instead of impairing them takes our time. attention & energy. We are all worth the time & energy it takes to heal from whatever is driving us to drink to numb it all out! Drinking is only a symptom of some issues that need to be addressed. Alcohol is not the problem, it's only a symptom of an underlying problem. Take away the drink and the other stuff can surface so we can deal with it.
Happy, AF weekend to all
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Good Sober Sunday ! So nice to be hangover free today. I got results from a series of blood tests for life insurance policy. Anyway, I was so happy to report that any of the test results with kidney or liver were all great. The only issue is high cholesterol 153 which is part hereditary and part ice cream and Diorites.
I opened a bottle of FRE Zinfandel because I had it in my fridge. Anyway, It was missing something... @FeelinFooFoo it was missing that familiar alcohol taste. It just didn't do anything for me. So I understand how your drink was ok and you missed that familiar taste of rum.
Last year, I had a delicious AF mojito but when I make AF cocktails, they lack that taste that I like (from alcohol). I will stick to Perrier I guess.4 -
I’ve never found a satisfying mocktail either. But just this week I tried grapefruit juice and tonic with a little lime. The bitterness did the trick for me. Yum. Also I’m a big Guinness stout fan. A company named Bravus makes a NA oatmeal stout that tastes identical to my palate. I’d been ordering from CA and paying shipping but just discovered it’s available in some shops including a few in Austin. That’s a 30-minute drive for me but I’m heading there tomorrow.
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I’ve never found a satisfying mocktail either. But just this week I tried grapefruit juice and tonic with a little lime. The bitterness did the trick for me. Yum. Also I’m a big Guinness stout fan. A company named Bravus makes a NA oatmeal stout that tastes identical to my palate. I’d been ordering from CA and paying shipping but just discovered it’s available in some shops including a few in Austin. That’s a 30-minute drive for me but I’m heading there tomorrow.
I recently bought an AF Guinness, but I haven't tried it yet.1 -
I would have an NA beer if someone handed it to me and I was looking for hydration, but I'm not shopping for a replacement. Beer in excess was never my problem, it was just how I started before sliding over to bourbon. I actually was a pretty good homebrewer back in the day (30 years ago), so I'm particular about that stuff. But not enough to search for a NA substitute.
Had a relapse of a sort a couple of days ago. Both my kids are living at home for a few weeks and someone put a can of alcohol lemon/tea fizzy drink in where the seltzers typically go. One swig and it was so disgusting had to spit it out. Gross.
Was helping a friend with his motorcycle yesterday and he was talking about how much I'd drink out at his cabin. He still doesn't believe that was not special occasion amount for me, just the every day volume shifted earlier in the day.
One more day sober! Good to see folks checking in.8 -
Nuffer it is certainly not a relapse if you drank it accidentally. A relapse must be intentional! That did not count at all.
So I forced myself to go for early walk/jog this morning. My dietitian said make exercise as much as a habit as brushing your teeth. I've gained back some of the weight I lost so I am trying to nip that in the bud right now. I know the belly fat is most dangerous for your health. I've been watching some youtubes on how to get rid of it. Obviously its wine belly along with hormonal changes as we age. The wine is gone but the belly remains....I just have to keep on going. Wishing you all a healthy day
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Still here.... still AF
I had the panic inducing drinking dream last night. I woke up in a panic thinking “what have I done” and had a hard time determining that it was not real. So scary.
My arthritis is acting up (omg I sound 90) so maybe my brain felt this pain and thought it must be a hangover....idk!
Def not the casual drink dreams I’ve had before.
I have more to share with y’all but I must get to work. I’ll be back 😊
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Ok... I'm back
Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.
This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.
He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.
I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.
My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.
Any advice is welcome.7 -
Ok... I'm back
Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.
This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.
He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.
I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.
My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.
Any advice is welcome.
Is there any way he can taper down? I had to do that after drinking daily for 8 years straight! Just each day do less and less,also there's this herb called "kudzu" you can get it at any health food store or Amazon,it really curbed my need for alcohol in those days and I'd be shocked when I just didn't want to finish a beer,worth a shot anyways,hope everyone is well 💗5 -
Ok... I'm back
Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.
This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.
He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.
I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.
My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.
Any advice is welcome.
Is there any way he can taper down? I had to do that after drinking daily for 8 years straight! Just each day do less and less,also there's this herb called "kudzu" you can get it at any health food store or Amazon,it really curbed my need for alcohol in those days and I'd be shocked when I just didn't want to finish a beer,worth a shot anyways,hope everyone is well 💗
This was part of our discussion yesterday. I suggested that however he approached needed to be a measurable method so he could monitor and SEE his progress.
I’ll look up Kudzu. I wonder if it is the same as the vine that grows here??4 -
Ok... I'm back
Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.
This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.
He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.
I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.
My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.
Any advice is welcome.
Is there any way he can taper down? I had to do that after drinking daily for 8 years straight! Just each day do less and less,also there's this herb called "kudzu" you can get it at any health food store or Amazon,it really curbed my need for alcohol in those days and I
I'd be shocked when I just didn't want to finish a beer,worth a shot anyways,hope everyone is well 💗
This was part of our discussion yesterday. I suggested that however he approached needed to be a measurable method so he could monitor and SEE his progress.
I’ll look up Kudzu. I wonder if it is the same as the vine that grows here??
Have you asked your doctor for help? Naltraxone works wonders for those who are trying to quit. It was developed for opiod addiction but they have found it to be more effective for alcoholics. https://riahealth.com/2018/08/24/whats-it-like-to-drink-alcohol-while-on-naltrexone/3 -
@Beka3695 Also, he seems isolated especially because you are babysitting; he needs a group or support system. It is so difficult to just do it all on his own with "willpower". His body and brain will definitely need to taper off so he doesn't get a seizure. Maybe he can reach out to a buddy who he knows reduced drinking ...
I'm proud of you! And you look so young to be a grandmother 4 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@Beka3695 Also, he seems isolated especially because you are babysitting; he needs a group or support system. It is so difficult to just do it all on his own with "willpower". His body and brain will definitely need to taper off so he doesn't get a seizure. Maybe he can reach out to a buddy who he knows reduced drinking ...
I'm proud of you! And you look so young to be a grandmother
I’m looking for that friend for him. I think I’ve found it but my husband is extremely private. I’m the extra extrovert of the two of us.
Thanks! I was just 21 when I had her. She and I grew up together.
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@Beka3695 Well, she is so lucky to have you as a mom and grandma! xoxo
Yes, I understand it is painful to admit to anyone you have a problem. He is on the right track though in just saying he thinks he needs to change.6 -
@Beka3695 what a sweet little guy. You look great too. I hope all works well with your husband. I can't offer any advice except that he has to want it.
Im hoping for the same for my husband. But he doesn't even think he has a problem. Its a waiting game.
Congrats @FeelinFooFoo on your streak!4 -
I've been watching some Alfred Hitchcock re-runs on YouTube & was quite surprised to see alcohol featured in most of the episodes I've watched. Also, smoking was "normal" back then. It made me think that is what I grew up watching & shows similar. There were some Dean Martin skits from his show way back when & he was also quite the drinker...one episode was with Foster Brooks who used to play the town drunk and it made me realize how these types of shows normalized drinking and likely had a fairly big influence on the attitudes toward drinking at that time. I think the influence is subtler in some ways now, and mostly through advertising, but there is still a big influence. I just thought it was interesting that alcohol was such a feature back then.5
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I would like to join in the quest to stay sober. You all are doing fantastic.12
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@lorrainequiche59, did you ever see any of the "Thin Man" films with William Powell and Myrna Loy? Nick and Nora (their characters) are a husband and wife amateur detective team who sip martinis from morning to midnight. I swear I watched a couple of these about 10 years ago and had to immediately have a martini. Those old shows definitely glorified the booze. Nowadays, I've noticed empowered women are drinking. Alicia Florek on The Good Wife regularly came home to a fishbowl-sized glass of red wine, and we never saw her hungover. Ah, media.
I'm on Day 10 of the Sober School course and loving it. I'm keeping a journal and have stolen @whitpauly's sign off each day: "Another 24".
Have a great day and stay cool, everyone. We hit 108 on Monday.6 -
I have been sober for 90 days today and its my 51st birthday.
Anyway, what a difference year makes. Last birthday, I was drunk, crying, hysterical and yelled at my friends for ruining my birthday. I can say today that me and vodka ruined my birthday last year, but it won't do that again.
Today, I am so happy, so clear headed, so relieved to be sitting on my back patio in my new house, breeze blowing, sun shining.. surrounded by loving people from afar. Turning 50 sucked, but 51 feels so much better.
@QueenZeeIsm Welcome to our little happy group!
@lorrainequiche59 I have to say even now watching some shows where they are constantly drinking makes me crave it.
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My daughter just gave me this painting she made for me for my birthday: I love the sentiment!
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Great news day 1
Last night, I spoke to my hubby by phone at about 10 pm. He did not have “that sound” in his voice. I know he had a great day 1!!!10 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »My daughter just gave me this painting she made for me for my birthday: I love the sentiment!
She made that? Thats so beautiful. Blue is my favorite color. Shes very talented! Hope your birthday was a great one! ♥5 -
@RubyRed427 Such a beautiful painting! She gets her artistic talent from you!4
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Welcome @QueenZeelsm to our fantastic supportive group
Yay @RubyRed427 Yay 90 days...your daughter's painting is lovely and the message inspiring!
Congrats @FeelinFooFoo on your 31 day streak!! 3 -
@Beka3695 I'm wondering if your hubby would be willing to check out Craig Beck or Alcohol Mastery...it could give him a bit of a kick start into wrapping his mind around his alcohol issue and may be more in his comfort zone to listen to one of these guys or whoever else he may relate to...there is a ton of online help & I found YouTube to be a great resource for me in the early days of getting myself some help to change my drinking habit.
Cute grandbaby...being a Granny is the BEST!! I'm sure it is difficult for you though to be in the role of caretaker & being away from your own home for so long. Hoping the best for you and smooch that wee baby & enjoy your time together 2 -
@donimfp No I didn't see the Thin Man films, but it seems that era was oblivious to the serious effects of the drink. We are so much more educated now in many ways, but denial is still the favorite tool of us who do not want to see the reality of stuff that is more difficult to face until we are ready to face it. Plain & simple.
That is one thing in this group that I have always admired & appreciated is the honesty and willingness to be real in spite of whatever difficulties we may be facing individually...we keep it real here. 2
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