The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,414 Member
    donimfp wrote: »
    Make that “We Are the Luckiest”.

    Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job listening to your body and mind. You must have needed a break from "to do lists".

    Yes, I agree it is a matter of life and death. And we choose LIFE- sober and happy.
    I read a quote from a celebrity who said "Sobriety is his job. Acting is his hobby." I agree. It does take a concerted effort especially the first few months - it is our job to stay sober. You are doing great!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,414 Member
    So this morning, my partner knocked on my brothers door, he had slept in and we realised he had been boozing last night. Luckily he was able to take a holiday as his work had plenty people on today. PHEW. Cos he looked like death warmed up. I do not miss that hangover feeling when I have a day of work ahead of me. My heart actually broke a bit just looking at him. Red tired eyes. Pale, dry skin and a look that said "why did I do this to myself?" A look I have had many many times myself. I have suggested he try 30 day alcohol experiment and I gave him my Alan Carr book. Anyway. He asked if we all wanted to go for a walk. Which we did. Sun's out, blue skies so it was a nice walk. He then wanted to stop by the local pub/resturaunt that me and my partner had been in last Saturday.

    It's such a weird experience gettin used to this 'new normal' 1 way entry systems etc. My bro constantly complained of the dreaded fear, post anxiety black cloud of impending doom. He felt something bad was gona happen. Again, I don't miss that! During our sit down outside sipping lemonades a man began talking to us. He was drinking beers (no judgement here) but I obviously noticed it. He then moved to sit closer by us and I did kinda worry that he planned to continue chatting while we ate (but he didn't). As he drank his beer I noticed he had a very red, ruddy complexion and he then told us he was recently out of jail, had lost his job and broke up with his wife. A part of me couldn't help but wonder, had alcohol possibly played a large part of these negative events in his life ? I was also kinda glad that my brother listened to him tell his story. I know myself how lucky I am to have survived my drinking days without any real lasting effects. Had I carried on? It could be me one day, telling folk how I lost it all.....

    Sometimes we need these little "God winks" to remind us of our motivations for being sober. Talking to that man was impactful.

    I recently saw a friend who told me she has been drinking a lot; her face looked so hard- deep wrinkles (she smokes too). I felt bad for her. Because I do know that alcohol is so dehydrating. I Have looked so puffy and red on many hangover mornings.
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    RubyRed427 wrote: »

    Yes, I agree it is a matter of life and death. And we choose LIFE- sober and happy.
    I read a quote from a celebrity who said "Sobriety is his job. Acting is his hobby." I agree. It does take a concerted effort especially the first few months - it is our job to stay sober. You are doing great!

    You are right on!! Approaching sobriety as our job is the ticket to freedom from alcohol dependence. Immersing ourselves in education about the true nature of alcohol and the consequences that are inevitable, selecting who we spend our time with, namely, those who support our decision to stop drinking, and working on taking care of ourselves by giving ourselves some much needed TLC and time to unwind in healthy, productive ways that will enhance our lives & relationships instead of impairing them takes our time. attention & energy. We are all worth the time & energy it takes to heal from whatever is driving us to drink to numb it all out! Drinking is only a symptom of some issues that need to be addressed. Alcohol is not the problem, it's only a symptom of an underlying problem. Take away the drink and the other stuff can surface so we can deal with it.

    Happy, AF weekend to all <3

  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,414 Member
    Good Sober Sunday ! So nice to be hangover free today. I got results from a series of blood tests for life insurance policy. Anyway, I was so happy to report that any of the test results with kidney or liver were all great. The only issue is high cholesterol 153 which is part hereditary and part ice cream and Diorites.

    I opened a bottle of FRE Zinfandel because I had it in my fridge. Anyway, It was missing something... @FeelinFooFoo it was missing that familiar alcohol taste. It just didn't do anything for me. So I understand how your drink was ok and you missed that familiar taste of rum.

    Last year, I had a delicious AF mojito but when I make AF cocktails, they lack that taste that I like (from alcohol). I will stick to Perrier I guess.
  • stephanne13
    stephanne13 Posts: 212 Member
    donimfp wrote: »
    I’ve never found a satisfying mocktail either. But just this week I tried grapefruit juice and tonic with a little lime. The bitterness did the trick for me. Yum. Also I’m a big Guinness stout fan. A company named Bravus makes a NA oatmeal stout that tastes identical to my palate. I’d been ordering from CA and paying shipping but just discovered it’s available in some shops including a few in Austin. That’s a 30-minute drive for me but I’m heading there tomorrow.

    I recently bought an AF Guinness, but I haven't tried it yet.
  • Beka3695
    Beka3695 Posts: 4,126 Member
    whitpauly wrote: »
    Beka3695 wrote: »
    Ok... I'm back

    Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.

    This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.

    He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.

    I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.

    My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Is there any way he can taper down? I had to do that after drinking daily for 8 years straight! Just each day do less and less,also there's this herb called "kudzu" you can get it at any health food store or Amazon,it really curbed my need for alcohol in those days and I'd be shocked when I just didn't want to finish a beer,worth a shot anyways,hope everyone is well 💗

    This was part of our discussion yesterday. I suggested that however he approached needed to be a measurable method so he could monitor and SEE his progress.

    I’ll look up Kudzu. I wonder if it is the same as the vine that grows here??
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,414 Member
    Beka3695 wrote: »
    whitpauly wrote: »
    Beka3695 wrote: »
    Ok... I'm back

    Just a reminder of my current situation -- I 'live' in North Georgia, but I'm currently residing in Pensacola, working remotely and nannying for my grandson. He is 4 months old and my daughter is in the military. Covid has made childcare non existent. Our calls last week were met with "we will possibly have openings in 2021." This has been my routine since mid May with no change in sight. I returned home last weekend and drove back to Florida yesterday.

    This past weekend SUCKED! I arrived home at like 11PM Friday and went straight to bed. Saturday I woke up to find my husband was already drinking.... This happened again Sunday. He was drunk or 'napping' all weekend long. It was quite miserable. Yesterday we met with our accountant and finally filed our taxes. Immediately after I left for Florida. About an hour out he called me - I could already hear alcohol on his voice. He apologized for the weekend. Honestly, this went in one ear and out the other bc I have heard these apologies so many times before. After the apology, he went on to say that he felt like he is ready to make a change. Said that seeing me and the transition I have made has made him want to be better. Said that he knows if he continues on the path he is on he will be dead in 10 years. He wants to see our grandson grow up.

    He has never made comments like these. He is not willing to seek professional help yet. This is not out of the question tho. He wants to see what he can do on his own before making that step.

    I am so hopeful that he will make a change. Even if not AF, less! I do think he is beyond the point of being able to quit cold turkey - the WDs would be too great without professional help.

    My goal now is to just be supportive. He needs to do this for himself, not me.

    Any advice is welcome.

    Is there any way he can taper down? I had to do that after drinking daily for 8 years straight! Just each day do less and less,also there's this herb called "kudzu" you can get it at any health food store or Amazon,it really curbed my need for alcohol in those days and I

    I'd be shocked when I just didn't want to finish a beer,worth a shot anyways,hope everyone is well 💗

    This was part of our discussion yesterday. I suggested that however he approached needed to be a measurable method so he could monitor and SEE his progress.

    I’ll look up Kudzu. I wonder if it is the same as the vine that grows here??

    Have you asked your doctor for help? Naltraxone works wonders for those who are trying to quit. It was developed for opiod addiction but they have found it to be more effective for alcoholics. https://riahealth.com/2018/08/24/whats-it-like-to-drink-alcohol-while-on-naltrexone/
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,414 Member
    @Beka3695 Also, he seems isolated especially because you are babysitting; he needs a group or support system. It is so difficult to just do it all on his own with "willpower". His body and brain will definitely need to taper off so he doesn't get a seizure. Maybe he can reach out to a buddy who he knows reduced drinking ...

    I'm proud of you! And you look so young to be a grandmother <3
  • aroze0928
    aroze0928 Posts: 254 Member
    @Beka3695 what a sweet little guy. You look great too. I hope all works well with your husband. I can't offer any advice except that he has to want it.
    Im hoping for the same for my husband. But he doesn't even think he has a problem. Its a waiting game.
    Congrats @FeelinFooFoo on your streak!
  • Beka3695
    Beka3695 Posts: 4,126 Member
    Happy birthday @RubyRed427 !!!!

    Yes, this will be a better birthday
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,577 Member
    @RubyRed427 Such a beautiful painting! She gets her artistic talent from you!
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    Welcome @QueenZeelsm to our fantastic supportive group B)

    Yay @RubyRed427 Yay 90 days...your daughter's painting is lovely and the message inspiring! <3

    Congrats @FeelinFooFoo on your 31 day streak!! B)
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @Beka3695 I'm wondering if your hubby would be willing to check out Craig Beck or Alcohol Mastery...it could give him a bit of a kick start into wrapping his mind around his alcohol issue and may be more in his comfort zone to listen to one of these guys or whoever else he may relate to...there is a ton of online help & I found YouTube to be a great resource for me in the early days of getting myself some help to change my drinking habit.

    Cute grandbaby...being a Granny is the BEST!! I'm sure it is difficult for you though to be in the role of caretaker & being away from your own home for so long. Hoping the best for you and smooch that wee baby & enjoy your time together <3
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @donimfp No I didn't see the Thin Man films, but it seems that era was oblivious to the serious effects of the drink. We are so much more educated now in many ways, but denial is still the favorite tool of us who do not want to see the reality of stuff that is more difficult to face until we are ready to face it. Plain & simple.

    That is one thing in this group that I have always admired & appreciated is the honesty and willingness to be real in spite of whatever difficulties we may be facing individually...we keep it real here. <3