The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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I applaud you for your honesty; binging is also my issue. Just can't stop, once I start. It's also so helpful that you see a therapist and psychiatrist. I also think addiction is such a lonely thing which is why we all come here for help and just to express ourselves.
I'm not sure what you mean AA not aligned with your beliefs... if you mean because of the higher power, there are people who do not believe in higher power who still go to AA. But since I dont know what you mean, I won't assume.
Talk to you soon! Chat anytime.6 -
Yesterday in Sober School Kate posted a "How She Did It" piece from one of her "graduates." She does this several times a week. Anyway, this young woman, who has been sober since 2017, was an eloquent writer. Wish she would write a book. She made an excellent point. While careful to acknowledge that AA has helped countless people, she noted that a problem with the particular group she attended was that the women seemed to put alcohol on a pedestal--like it was this wonderful substance that they were unlucky enough to not be able to enjoy, whereas other people could enjoy it and not suffer. Doing this, she felt, was keeping them stuck in a yearning for something that is a toxin that did no one any favors, ever, instead of enjoying the glorious life @FeelinFooFoo referred to ("Pure joy. Bags of energy. Natural high"). She said that sobriety needn't be filled with unending drama. After the hard bits (the beginning), there is so much to embrace in life without looking back longingly at something that isn't worth it.
This mindset is helping me, this time, to go literally days without missing alcohol one little bit. Grapefruit juice and tonic is helping, too!
This,I did this for YEARS! The "oh everyone else gets to drink and I can't" or just missing that "checking out" feeling,I'm so done with that thinking5 -
This is true for me too. Sometimes, I am envious of people who can drink and stop at one or two...Or I am envious of people of whom it appears can drink without repercussions. I have to constantly remind myself that everyone has an issue they are working on and mine happens to be alcoholism. At least, my addiction can be helped by choosing not to drink today.6
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@medusasnake Welcome to Non-Judgeville! There are increasingly new alternatives to AA being available--you can find many by googling. It's not my bag either--I interpret the philosophy as we humans are not good enough and I just think that's a bunch of *kitten*. Right now I'm trying to moderate after almost 5 months AF, and there are groups/resources for that as well. Sounds like life is really tough, but glad you found this group. Hugs...
@FeelinFooFoo (aka my virtual adopted daughter :-)) I know your post about advertising at inappropriate times isn't funny, but I JUST finished reading a rant by the dad of a 4 year-old who is mad that the ice cream truck comes around at 9pm he's getting his 4 year-old to sleep, who hears the jingle, starts drooling, and pops out of bed to chase the truck. It's a messed up world for sure.5 -
Just checking in, its been a few days, but no alcohol and I stopped smoking too at the same time. I feel strong, but my body knows what time I drink at and that's been the hardest. I'm drinking electrolyte drinks and water instead. Right now I'm riding to the jobsite in a company truck with a coworker that doesn't seem to care that I just quit smoking and shes smoking and mad about me having the window down. Whatever. Doing the best I can.9
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Observation : Alcohol is literally everywhere you look, and go....no wonder it can be so hard sometimes.
Sitting in my house, in my bed, tv advert comes on for alcohol. Shouldn't these be saved for after the water shed at 9pm ? Why do they insist on pushing this substance on us, day in, day out, hail, rain or shine.......Buy alcohol. Buy alcohol. Buy alcohol. (and in small print *drink responsibly)
I have an idea ADVERTISE RESPONSIBLY. and stop advertising it absolutely all over the place. Sorry just feeling a bit annoyed about the way the odds are so stacked against us when we try to make a change. I'm okay anyway still AF on day 5 of experiment.....👍
Yes and it's only gotten worse with the pandemic! So many commercials for alcohol since people are at home,I guess they figure people wanna drink their days away from the looks of it,@RubyRed427 my mom can drink all night and only need a Pepsi to get going in the morning, she'd be asking me "wanna go to yard sales?" All cute and vibrant while I'm feeling like I need a hospital bed 😂 @medusasnake, welcome and congratulations on quitting both smoking and drinking, the smoking is HARD for me, I may not be smoking as many cigs but my vape is glued to my mouth like a baby binky😒 it's disgusting, 6:34 am in Vegas another 24 hope everyone has a fabulous AF day 💖5 -
@whitpauly I have friends like that! We may be out drinking for the day and night (on vacation), and the next morning, my friend is on the elliptical for one hour and happy and peppy. My other friend drinks wine all night long.... and she told me in the morning, she feels great. So your mom and my friends probably just dont understand why we feel like *kitten*, moaning and unable to get out of bed,....etc.
@medusasnake You are amazing! Keep up the good work!5 -
I have always loved Ed Sheeran's music. Here's a good article about his addictions. https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-53553951
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Today is a special day!!!!
Reaching 150 was more difficult than 100, but I did it!!! The universe has been tossing me tests of strength lately. I am winning so far!!11 -
Hi All. I've been reading all the posts though I feel like I don't have anything to add. I'm so Coronavirus weary and sad about the state of the world and the US especially. Why are people so selfish? We could have had this done and over with if people would have worn their masks and acted responsibly like other countries. Why does it have to be political? Anyway I am going to eye dr then lunch with 2 girlfriends who are furloughed (flight attendants) so I am sure the wine will be flowing. I'm not using any of this as an excuse to indulge. They know I have to drive pretty far so I am sure there will be no pressure to join them. I continued to be inspired by everyone's stories so please keep sharing. Have a healthy day
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Hi All. I've been reading all the posts though I feel like I don't have anything to add. I'm so Coronavirus weary and sad about the state of the world and the US especially. Why are people so selfish? We could have had this done and over with if people would have worn their masks and acted responsibly like other countries. Why does it have to be political? Anyway I am going to eye dr then lunch with 2 girlfriends who are furloughed (flight attendants) so I am sure the wine will be flowing. I'm not using any of this as an excuse to indulge. They know I have to drive pretty far so I am sure there will be no pressure to join them. I continued to be inspired by everyone's stories so please keep sharing. Have a healthy day
You are absolutely correct and said everything I feel! 6:49 am in Vegas another 24, congratulations @Beka365 150 days is fabulous 💖1 -
Good morning friends! Last night, my daughter said that she will gone all day with her friends. Right away, my drinking brain said "Oh I will take myself to lunch, have some wine...." Then, My sober brain said "No, you will make a list of fun things you can do today instead of drinking." I like my sober brain! So, I'm off to make a list. And just enjoy the peace and quiet of my house !
@Beka3695 Bravo! Congrats! That is amazing to do especially with all the added stress of the current times.
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I posted below yesterday on another thread I’m active on. I am extremely pleased that I’ve come thru this alcohol free. The last week has been very trying - multiple trips from Florida to the tip of North Georgia... but I’m am refusing to let this get me!!!
Things are crazy at the moment.
1. Covid - everyone is in this boat
2. I'm working remotely to keep my grandson because of #1
EVERYTHING BELOW HAPPENED IN THE LAST WEEK
3. My house flooded last week...
4. With all the renovations we decided to paint a bedroom. The paint MELTED off the walls leaving a gigantic mess that is worse than what we had before. This was Saturday
5. My sweet dog, Tucker, got into a bed of stinging ants Sunday. We narrowly avoided the Emergency Vet.
6. I will be unemployed effective 08/17 due to #2 which is due to #1.... Found out yesterday
7. Next week, I will be home for a FULL WEEK! But, I have to sit thru a whole day staff meeting after finding out #6
ON A POSITIVE NOTE:
1. My entire family is healthy
2. We can financially make it on just my husbands salary, but it will not be fun!
3. I have a great group of contractors working on my house and my insurance adjuster is really nice!
4. The bedroom looks bad... but it can be sanded and repainted and will be fine
5. I get to spend more uninterrupted time with my grandson. He will only be 5 months one time!
6. Not working for a bit will allow me to focus on ME! My fitness and my health - mental and physical.
I have found so many silver linings!!! I am looking at my current situation as a positive all around. It just seems like a lot all at once, but I've got this!!! I control my own destiny and this is just a hiccup!!!!7 -
Wrapped up a six-day motorcycle trip on forest and jeep roads. It's been a long-time dream of mine to do this. I wouldn't even let myself seriously consider getting on a motorcycle when I was drinking, much less owning one.
It was no problem to keep myself to fizzy water, regular water, and occasional cannabis while my riding pals were capping off each of the six nights with beer and cocktails.
Quitting drinking has allowed me access to so many better things in my life. Totally worth it!9 -
Good luck with the nicotine. Quitting tobacco was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Some people might recommend quitting one thing at a time but whatever, you've got to do you!2 -
Yeah! Elton John celebrated 30 years of sobriety! If he can do it, we can too! His movie Rocketman was quite good and showed how his addiction spiraled out of control. 3
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Honestly @FeelinFooFoo your're right about alcohol is everywhere commercials etc. I find summer especially hard too. Your hot you want to drink more. Water tonic and selzers are getting old. What to drink? I made an AF sangria for a party with lots of fruits. That was nice. Hubs wanted me to add vodka. I thought about it. Lol.
Nope that wont turn out good. The last time I made mojitos in that jug, it has a spout to pour. Its pretty big. I almost died the next day. Anyway its tough. Happy AF weekend everyone!6 -
I have a great antidote to drinking- go to a graduation party with your mask on the whole time, because there are so many people there without masks. I really felt compelled to go, because my dearest friend was having a grad party. But I do not feel good about being at a party during Covid times at all. So I wore my mask the whole time and didn't drink or eat. My daughter and I left within an hour. But I'd say about 50 others there had no mask at all! I was shocked. We both came home, showered and I am so happy to be out of that environment. Sorry to vent!7
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Live and learn. Still loving Sober School (Day 28 of 42 today). I finally found something that tastes good to drink and offers that "heft" I get from alcohol: grapefruit juice and tonic. The bad news is . . . I am not a sweets person at all so almost never eat sugar. This drink tastes more bitter than sweet, and that's why I like it, but both ingredients have sugar. Tonic actually has comparable amounts to soda. I've discovered that for me, sugar is almost as bad as alcohol as far as interfering with my sleep and causing anxiety. Bummer! I tried diet tonic but don't like the taste of aspartame or even stevia.
So . . . does anyone have any suggestions for a brilliant AF, satisfying drink? Of course I drink tea and sparkling water or soda and lime. I'm even enjoying AF beer. That's the closest I've come and may be what I stick with when I'm really craving something satisfying. But I'd sure love to find something AF that's as satisfying as the grapefruit and tonic, without the sugar.4 -
Just eating some tomatoes here after eating popcorn. I am a stress eater and drinker. And these days are rough. I was at my AA Zoom today and there was a lady there who is an overeater ... so it's basically the same concept as our binging of alcohol. It was interesting. It also made me well aware that I am over-doing everything lately. Snacks, candy, afternoon ice cream with chocolate chips... all to avoid alcohol. BUT this is just as harmful in a way. It was quite eye opening for me to link my stress eating to my alcohol binging.
Today, my aunt passed away; two days ago a lovely friend passed away, and last week a neighbor of mine.. it comes in threes. One part of my brain said, "Just throw in the towel and drink; since we are all going to pass anyway. " But I did convince my brain that I will have a better quality of life if I dont get trashed and sick from binging.
Anyway, my personal trainer is encouraging me to do IF. So, I'll give that a try. I am realizing that my brain is so screwed up with addictions and dopamine craving...and the world affairs are not helping. So, I will have to help myself.7 -
@donimfp I would also love to know about some good satisfying drinks. I did buy watermelon mint juice recently and it was so delightful. In the grocery section pass the fruits and veggies, there are a ton of fresh juices, kombucha drinks, etc. I may visit there each time and buy some new beverages for variety.
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Just having a recap at how I'm doing so far.
114 days AF racked up since April ~
11 day AF streak currently ~
Day 11 AE with Annie Grace ~
So 11 days means that I now have absolutely no alcohol left in my system. Thank goodness for that ! 🎊🎉
Beautiful job!!! Day 11 - you are doing very well!!0 -
Honestly @FeelinFooFoo your're right about alcohol is everywhere commercials etc. I find summer especially hard too. Your hot you want to drink more. Water tonic and selzers are getting old. What to drink? I made an AF sangria for a party with lots of fruits. That was nice. Hubs wanted me to add vodka. I thought about it. Lol.
Nope that wont turn out good. The last time I made mojitos in that jug, it has a spout to pour. Its pretty big. I almost died the next day. Anyway its tough. Happy AF weekend everyone!
It was hard not to laugh and cry at the same time when you wrote you almost died from the jug of mojitos. I hear you! I have been there!~1 -
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I love carbonated water with lime or lemon or cranberry juice or the entire combo...throw in some frozen fruit yummy...
In reference to addiction, I am reading a book by Gabor Mate, "The Realm of Hungry Ghosts." It chronicles his decades of work with drug addicts at the Downtown Eastside Vancouver clinic. At the outset he quotes Alice Miller who wrote "Breaking Down the Wall of Silence." She asks, "What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood." and he refers to the "domain of addiction, where we constantly seek something outside of ourselves to curb an insatiable yearning for relief or fulfillment...his book is a very caring, compassionate and honest look at the nature of addiction and he has tremendous compassion toward one of the most marginalized groups in our society.
Further in the book he also details varying addictions food, work, shopping, nicotine, the Internet, cosmetic surgery, even exercise...It was interesting to me that alcohol addiction wasn't listed separately, but when I think about it alcohol is more like a drug anyway. The point he makes right at the outset is that although addiction comes in various forms, and various substances it has the same root as that of the drug addicted. The addiction is only the symptom of something brewing beneath the surface/facade that we can present to the rest of the world.
Happy Sobriety to all 4 -
@lorrainequiche59, coincidentally two Gabor Mate videos were part of today’s Sober School lesson. He really emphasized the importance of identifying the pain beneath the addiction. Good stuff.6
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@RubyRed427 sorry about all the stress with people passing. Lately Im going through the same deal. Stress eating and its one thing to eat after another. You're not alone if Im drinking Im drinking. If Im eating I'm eating. I gave up the smokes years ago so I have that...Swapping one vice for another. Will I ever be cured probably not. Keep doing what your doing. I just had an old friend pass at 50! Its crazy. We gotta stay alive and just feed these crazy energies into staying healthy!
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I love carbonated water with lime or lemon or cranberry juice or the entire combo...throw in some frozen fruit yummy...
In reference to addiction, I am reading a book by Gabor Mate, "The Realm of Hungry Ghosts." It chronicles his decades of work with drug addicts at the Downtown Eastside Vancouver clinic. At the outset he quotes Alice Miller who wrote "Breaking Down the Wall of Silence." She asks, "What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood." and he refers to the "domain of addiction, where we constantly seek something outside of ourselves to curb an insatiable yearning for relief or fulfillment...his book is a very caring, compassionate and honest look at the nature of addiction and he has tremendous compassion toward one of the most marginalized groups in our society.
Further in the book he also details varying addictions food, work, shopping, nicotine, the Internet, cosmetic surgery, even exercise...It was interesting to me that alcohol addiction wasn't listed separately, but when I think about it alcohol is more like a drug anyway. The point he makes right at the outset is that although addiction comes in various forms, and various substances it has the same root as that of the drug addicted. The addiction is only the symptom of something brewing beneath the surface/facade that we can present to the rest of the world.
Happy Sobriety to all
I do believe this to be true. I remember you mentioned Gabor Mate before... I have to revisit these books and ideas. I am sure it all goes back to childhood.... But that's not an excuse- just I'll need to dive deep and see what the hell is really eating me.. before I eat everything in sight. I also think the social media beast is really starting to trigger lots of emotions that are unnecessary. Time to unplug from Facebook for awhile. Thanks to everyone for your kind words.
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