WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2020

I was planning to go away for a long weekend, but the car rental was less expensive for 1 week than for 3 days, so I rented for a week and left it open, since classes and in-person meetings hadn't stopped yet. I brought the laptop and some work in case It felt like a good time to work. (it didn't).

1) I visited my colleague at his remote home in the country. That was pretty nice. We went for walks and swimming. I had then planned to visit other old friends 3h drive from there, but then my colleague invited me to visit his friends (which we finally didn't go to- I didn't want to -too much driving, but he had insisted and finally wanted to cancel at the end), so, politely,

2) I invited him to visit my friends (1h from the sea and visit a city he couldn't remember much), since it seemed impolite for him to invite me to his place and to visit his friends and me not to invite him- all the friends were very welcoming and had plenty of rooms. He wanted to cram a lot in. After 5 days it was a bit much (road trips can be a challenge) and so we took the last 36h of my car rental separately.

He was an only child of single mom who just died 2months ago. He was very close to her and wanted to spend his last days alone in the house they had spent confinement in before leaving for the city to work. I guess he was feeling mixed at first, wanting to stay together and/or not wanting to be alone, but also definitely wanting more time at his house and -not saying it- he feeling mixed-- but it seemed normal that he want to spend time alone. He's a rather successful teacher in his niche field, but had started drinking a bit every day, or nearly, since his mom died 2 months ago, he said on the last day. It was a mix. He talks a lot in a professorly sort of way. He wanted to tell me about his great grandparents and cousins and everything, his whole history.
Since he also had to go back up to Paris I offered an option where I go to see my friends for a few days and then swing back and drive him back to the city, since public transport is a bit of a drag with 100% masks.

Still the walks and beach and swims were fun and visiting some local museum and an architectural place, and having meals both in and out, and visiting my friends, and stopping by a couple of places, and he seemed to appreciate my old friends (and old neighbour) very much. I dropped him off the 2nd to last day, and didn't have time to get home so I went through the city names on the way home and he mentioned a nice one, and

3) I found an awesome hotel a few miles from the highway. It was so nice I stayed 2 nights. A manor with very good hygiene, a pool, a big garden with sofas, lounge chairs, a bar from 4pm to 8pm. 60 euros a night and she didn't charge me at all for the tea, sorbet and Campari I had ordered throughout the day. The owner was very nice. I had a google meeting when I arrived at the hotel at7pm, so had to say 'I'm here but I have a long meeting', then I spent 1.5 hours mostly in the car in a google meeting.
I tried to turn off the video, but-never having done a video meeting on cellphone - it didn't start that way. My colleagues asked if I was in a car and they were joking that I was in an RV. When I cracked the windows open there was noise on both sides (me being to business-y in this manoir and some background noise when I had the mike on), and with the window closed my whole face was sweating. This was a meeting with workers'-rights-related people, so there was some informality and friendliness too it. No bosses... One retired member is very talkative (but also has some good bits of experience, amidst the long monologues), so I was able to put on headphones and mute and hide video while I checked in.

Things that were harmonious or mostly harmonious :
-walks
-swims
-beaches
-cultural visits
-meals in and out
-sharing,
-I took him to the hospital for a planned IRM where he wasn't supposed to drive, he liked my friends and they seemed to like him. Having taken care of my sister a couple of years ago through many exams, I'm at ease with this sort of thing, taking him there, waiting, etc.


but also a lot of challenges :
-For him his very close mom had died and he said he had been pretty isolated and, the last day, he acknowledged he had been drinking some alone most days for 2 months, he seemed both a bit clingy- not wanting to be on his own in the beginning, and also somehow -it seemed needing to be.
-He had a prostrate IRM and on the last day (after we had decided to spend the last 36h each on our own) his doctor called to tell him he needed a biopsy. he was really stressed for the IRM, never having had one before.i've had about 5or so, so it's not a big deal for me to have an IRM. He hated it. His mom and grandfather had been at this same hospital at/near the end of their lives so it wasn't a good place for him.
-When I started driving (after 41 years of having licence) he was being a backseat driver for the 1st half hour or so in a very big way and it was really a bit much ; but finally I had to remind him I had been driving for 41years without his instructions and was doing fine and he let up. on my side I was double-checking about directions he was giving.
-He was wishy-washy about an appointment he said he maybe, probably, possibly, definitely wanted to keep or cancel in the city, and a bit unclear all around.
-We work in the same school, so there is also the idea that we want all to remain ok on the professional front, probably a concern for each of us in the back of our minds.
-Other than the 1.5 days he was on medication he was slightly heavy-handed with the alcohol. He had a drink 2x at midday and I joined him for wine on the non-medical evenings. Drinking 2 or 3 glasses 4 days out of 5 is massive for me. I don't know if I've ever drunk so much so many days in a row. I was glad he brought it up the last day, and acknowledged the excess. He said he had "stopped drinking" the week before I came, but then was opening a bottle every (non-medical) day when I was there...and at my friends' we had wine both evenings...

Chose well: pooches down drive in am, dozen bulbs to Tracie, Post Office, Mini Pet Mart, Grocery Outlet, Freddie’s.
Bonus: relieved Joe of lifting duties: watering Stinky, dogs, break down 35 lb bag of kibble,
Get to do: get outside chores done before livestreaming church, take pics of car, BB&B, type up ABN update form and addendum, Pilot tech support 5034447924 to link subscription and fix login, measure potential greenhouse space and distance to outlet, make experimental almond paste, declutter sideboard, practice new dances (Nothing but You, Shake it like that, Larger than Life, Here I Go Again/Mama Mia, Real Deal, Get it Right); make garlic almonds for Barb and Dan; prep potato area and raised beds for beets, carrots, parsley root, parsnips, radishes and sow; finish weeding drive, continue weeding flower bed, mulch flowerbed; invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine. Reward: inventory seeds, plan fall cool season garden, order replenishments, figure out where to plant naked lady bulbs, Tuesday: call Progressive adjuster,
Self Care September
6: focus on healthy choices: smoothie for breakfast, veggie and cheese tray for dinner, resistance training or weights.

August: better than July.
daily: sit with Joe: 5 weigh: 5, steps>5491=6805 vits=4.5 log=5 CI<CO=3 CI<250<CO=1 Tumble & Shadow 5=3 mfp=5 outside=3 up hill=4
wkly: T’ai Chi or BB&B x3= rx= dance= clean 30 mins=.5
mnthly: board mtg= grant= 20for20=
bonus: AF=1 play= sew=