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Height-ism?

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  • psychod787psychod787 Member, Premium Posts: 3,852 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,852 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    zamphir66 wrote: »
    durhammfp wrote: »
    I think it's actually good to know up front if someone is that shallow...it saves everyone from wasting their time.

    So true. Just swipe past all those folks.

    I was married before online dating became the big thing it it now. Do people not meet through friends, at parties, through shared hobbies/interests any longer?

    Not in the age of COVID.

    And even before COVID, I live in rural Appalachia. Single women my age are generally pillbillies, Pentecostal, or otherwise tragic in some way.

    Dating during Covid19 hasn't been that bad. When I put on my mask, I go from a 4 to a solid 6... lol

    Mine will have to read... must be able to deal with a slightly neurotic, always moving, never missed a gym date, routines, mad man..... so, a Pentecostal might fit the bill... lol

    I used to live in an area with a lot of Pentecostal woman and I went to a gym where many of them were members. Talk about consistency! They lifted pretty heavy too. They were lifting in ankle-length skirts, but they were there rain or shine. I would be over in the corner with my baby weights while they took care of business.

    Long dress and deadlifts... hmmmm...🥰
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 11,341 Member Member Posts: 11,341 Member
    When a man keeps his eye on what matters most, everything is possible for him. The world needs more men like you. ^^
  • TwistedSassetteTwistedSassette Member, Premium Posts: 1,573 Member Member, Premium Posts: 1,573 Member
    People like what they like.
    My daughter for example is pretty tall and occasionally wears heels when “dressing up.” She definitely prefers men who are taller because being with less tall men makes her feel awkwardly tall. I’ve seen her change shoes like ten times before going out because she likes the higher ones but then she feels goofy when wearing them. In her case it’s more about the way she feels about herself.

    My mom used to joke that it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as a poor girl. Of course- that didn’t happen lol!!

    THIS!!!
    The tall women I know do prefer taller men, not because they're more attracted to them, but because they feel awkward themselves when they're taller than their partner. Throws back to tradition, I guess - you know, man should be bigger/stronger/faster than woman (not saying I agree with this, just that it's a subconscious thing that's kind of hard-wired into a lot of people). Whatever it is, they're not going to make themselves feel awkward on a date if they can help it.

    For me, a non-issue since I'm 5'3" there's not a whole lot of men who are shorter than me! Yet I ended up with a 6'4" husband, so go figure. At one year old, my son was over half my height and now he's almost two and at my navel already. Safe to say he's got his father's genes I think!
  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter Posts: 43,321 Member Member, Greeter Posts: 43,321 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    IMO, whatever a person prefers is what they prefer. If you don't fit that criteria, then why care? Isn't the idea of online dating finding the person that actually fits YOUR PREFERENCE anyway? Personally for me, I've stayed within or very close to my race because I've just seen too many issues with couples of different cultural backgrounds clash. I say this anecdotally of course, but over the years many of my clients open up to me about their relationships and the ones that were biracial couple seemed to have the most conflicts when it came to certain cultural values. Not saying that people shouldn't date outside of their race or culture, but for me, the less I have to worry about the better. Relationships are hard enough as it is with just trying to figure each other out emotionally.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Setting aside the issue of whether it is right or wrong to have certain preferences, the truth is that you're just wasting someone's time if you don't exercise pre-screening based on the factors you KNOW you want in a mate. And you're wasting your own time. I can have the stupidest, pettiest, most shallow, or bigoted expectations possible (this is not directed at any preferences expressed by people in this thread) but it doesn't matter because they're my preferences.

    We can argue that I'm morally incorrect or have poor taste or don't truly understand what makes a relationship work or that I'm shallow, but that doesn't change the fact that I want to be with who I want to be with. Anyone who falls outside my criteria is likely just going to waste their time if they try to make me change my mind by dating me.

    Short guys should be grateful that these women are upfront about what they want. They don't have to be grateful that so many women are writing them off, but they should be grateful that at least it's out in the open and they're not having to waste their time going on first dates with women who just won't be into them. Let's say a guy only wanted to date women with large breasts. I don't have to be grateful for the general social agreement that larger breasts are more desirable than small ones, but I would be grateful not to have my time wasted by dating someone who wasn't going to be truly attracted to me.

    Exactly.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter Posts: 43,321 Member Member, Greeter Posts: 43,321 Member
    zamphir66 wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    zamphir66 wrote: »
    durhammfp wrote: »
    I think it's actually good to know up front if someone is that shallow...it saves everyone from wasting their time.

    So true. Just swipe past all those folks.

    I was married before online dating became the big thing it it now. Do people not meet through friends, at parties, through shared hobbies/interests any longer?

    Not in the age of COVID.

    And even before COVID, I live in rural Appalachia. Single women my age are generally pillbillies, Pentecostal, or otherwise tragic in some way.

    Surprised with this outlook you don't have women beating down your door to date you.

    Maybe it wasn't clear, but I'm referring to single women around my age in my rural area. So it's not really an outlook so much as an observation.

    Lol, maybe you need to move. :D



    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 11,341 Member Member Posts: 11,341 Member
    #1 Men and women can sense neediness a mile away

    #2 Work on your confidence and that comes from putting yourself out there. Consistently. Consistently. Consistently.

    #3 It cannot be overstated. Be yourself.

    "If "manners maketh man" as someone said
    He's the hero of the day
    It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
    Be yourself no matter what they say

    I don't take coffee, I take tea, my dear
    I like my toast done on one side
    And you can hear it in my accent when I talk
    I'm an Englishman in New York

    See me walking down Fifth Avenue
    A walking cane here at my side
    I take it everywhere I walk
    I'm an Englishman in New York"

    STING

    Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. If a man wants to meet a woman you've simply got to quit writing long lists of the attributes you'd like or positive confessions or using apps out of fear and desperation or talking about it.

    Take ACTION.

    Oooo, Desperado

    Desperado
    Why don't you come to your senses?
    You've been out ridin' fences for so long now
    Oh, you're a hard one
    I know that you got your reasons
    These things that are pleasin' you
    Will hurt you somehow

    Pick yourself UP and dust yourself off. So you're up for your first rodeo. Take the bull by the horns.
    You better get on this bull and ride. Wring everything you can out of this life. Be kind. Stay sweet.
    The girls will love you but you've got to put yourself out there.


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  • ninerbuffninerbuff Member, Greeter Posts: 43,321 Member Member, Greeter Posts: 43,321 Member
    Slacker16 wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    (...) Personally for me, I've stayed within or very close to my race because I've just seen too many issues with couples of different cultural backgrounds clash. I say this anecdotally of course, but over the years many of my clients open up to me about their relationships and the ones that were biracial couple seemed to have the most conflicts when it came to certain cultural values. Not saying that people shouldn't date outside of their race or culture, but for me, the less I have to worry about the better. Relationships are hard enough as it is with just trying to figure each other out emotionally.
    At the risk of starting a "too hot for MFP" discussion...

    Race and culture are really not synonymous. A Finn and a Spaniard would have much, MUCH less in common than two Americans of which one happens to be white and the other black.

    Racial preferences are fine, but they're aesthetic IMO. No different from preferring a certain hair colour... or height.
    You're ASSUMING that just because they may be American that they DON'T carry their culture with them. WRONG.
    We have many people who are born in American of say Asian decent, and I've seen MANY TIMES where they get involved or marry outside of their race and have issues because they STILL CARRY CULTURAL differences. Especially when it comes to the type of foods one desires to eat. My cousin loves to cook fried fish and other Filipino dishes she feeds to the kids and her husband really can't stand the food. And it's been a topic of argumentation because when she attends a party, HE DOESN'T come because he knows that all we'll really be eating is Filipino food.
    And again, I deal with this with clientele as well. I mentioned they open up to me about. No reason for them to lie to me about. What's your actual experience in dealing with people when they may have to adhere to family cultural traditions even though born in the USA?


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 11,341 Member Member Posts: 11,341 Member
    When are you going to meet someone?
    When you're ready to meet someone.

    Fear is holding you back.
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