Coronavirus prep
Replies
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I wish there were more acknowledgement of diseases and conditions that have a far higher risk factor of death during this pandemic. My 94 year old grandmother died alone in a nursing home in the middle of this, not having been able to see her family for 6 weeks. We saw her through the window and talked in the phone, but she was always a very touchy feely person and even before the pandemic felt the lack of touch even we frequently visited her. Remember, infants can actually die from lack of touch. It affects adults profoundly too. She died in her sleep not from COVID, having largely lost the will to live, while being so isolated with no end in sight.
My father has advanced Alzheimer’s and truly suffered from the initial isolation. He couldn’t understand why we all abandoned him in his eyes, refused to hug him and wore masks, which terrify him. Finally my mother put her foot down and said she wasn’t going to waste the little time he has left, making him feel scared and abandoned. How horrible we would feel if that’s the way his life ended in fear and loneliness.
What about special needs kids who aren’t getting the therapy they so desperately need in person? Each year is critical for them, having lost it, they can’t regain ground and will suffer for a long time because of this.
There’s also a risk in driving yet people choose to take that risk every day.
I wish there were more acknowledgement of the nuances of this situation. Full disclosure, my brother in law is a hospital physician who works every day with COVID patients in two different hospitals. He is really annoyed at how people are freaking out so much about COVID while ignoring how much people are affected who suffer from other diseases that are barely acknowledged.
There’s a lot of politics involved.23 -
gracegettingittogether wrote: »I wish there were more acknowledgement of diseases and conditions that have a far higher risk factor of death during this pandemic. My 94 year old grandmother died alone in a nursing home in the middle of this, not having been able to see her family for 6 weeks. We saw her through the window and talked in the phone, but she was always a very touchy feely person and even before the pandemic felt the lack of touch even we frequently visited her. Remember, infants can actually die from lack of touch. It affects adults profoundly too. She died in her sleep not from COVID, having largely lost the will to live, while being so isolated with no end in sight.
My father has advanced Alzheimer’s and truly suffered from the initial isolation. He couldn’t understand why we all abandoned him in his eyes, refused to hug him and wore masks, which terrify him. Finally my mother put her foot down and said she wasn’t going to waste the little time he has left, making him feel scared and abandoned. How horrible we would feel if that’s the way his life ended in fear and loneliness.
What about special needs kids who aren’t getting the therapy they so desperately need in person? Each year is critical for them, having lost it, they can’t regain ground and will suffer for a long time because of this.
There’s also a risk in driving yet people choose to take that risk every day.
I wish there were more acknowledgement of the nuances of this situation. Full disclosure, my brother in law is a hospital physician who works every day with COVID patients in two different hospitals. He is really annoyed at how people are freaking out so much about COVID while ignoring how much people are affected who suffer from other diseases that are barely acknowledged.
There’s a lot of politics involved.
I think this is a side that is not talked about enough. Thank you!2 -
gracegettingittogether wrote: »I wish there were more acknowledgement of diseases and conditions that have a far higher risk factor of death during this pandemic. My 94 year old grandmother died alone in a nursing home in the middle of this, not having been able to see her family for 6 weeks. We saw her through the window and talked in the phone, but she was always a very touchy feely person and even before the pandemic felt the lack of touch even we frequently visited her. Remember, infants can actually die from lack of touch. It affects adults profoundly too. She died in her sleep not from COVID, having largely lost the will to live, while being so isolated with no end in sight.
My father has advanced Alzheimer’s and truly suffered from the initial isolation. He couldn’t understand why we all abandoned him in his eyes, refused to hug him and wore masks, which terrify him. Finally my mother put her foot down and said she wasn’t going to waste the little time he has left, making him feel scared and abandoned. How horrible we would feel if that’s the way his life ended in fear and loneliness.
What about special needs kids who aren’t getting the therapy they so desperately need in person? Each year is critical for them, having lost it, they can’t regain ground and will suffer for a long time because of this.
There’s also a risk in driving yet people choose to take that risk every day.
I wish there were more acknowledgement of the nuances of this situation. Full disclosure, my brother in law is a hospital physician who works every day with COVID patients in two different hospitals. He is really annoyed at how people are freaking out so much about COVID while ignoring how much people are affected who suffer from other diseases that are barely acknowledged.
There’s a lot of politics involved.
I was reading an article about a man whose wife has Alzheimer’s just the other day. They live in the same nursing home but aren’t allowed to see each other. The situation with dementia patients is just so tragic. I think your mom is right, it doesn’t make sense to waste what good time they have left for the sake of a Covid free future by which time they may have forgotten their loved ones.
Someone like your grandmother to me is an edge case - on the one hand, a very elderly person doesn’t have much time to waste - but on the other hand, you don’t want to risk the life of someone who might have another five years of good living for the sake of a few months. Obviously, in retrospect, this wasn’t the right decision, but hindsight is 20/20. In an alternate universe you could all be feeling guilty following her death from Covid. There just aren’t good options. And it is scary the way Covid burns through care homes once it gets in.
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gracegettingittogether wrote: »I wish there were more acknowledgement of diseases and conditions that have a far higher risk factor of death during this pandemic. My 94 year old grandmother died alone in a nursing home in the middle of this, not having been able to see her family for 6 weeks. We saw her through the window and talked in the phone, but she was always a very touchy feely person and even before the pandemic felt the lack of touch even we frequently visited her. Remember, infants can actually die from lack of touch. It affects adults profoundly too. She died in her sleep not from COVID, having largely lost the will to live, while being so isolated with no end in sight.
My father has advanced Alzheimer’s and truly suffered from the initial isolation. He couldn’t understand why we all abandoned him in his eyes, refused to hug him and wore masks, which terrify him. Finally my mother put her foot down and said she wasn’t going to waste the little time he has left, making him feel scared and abandoned. How horrible we would feel if that’s the way his life ended in fear and loneliness.
What about special needs kids who aren’t getting the therapy they so desperately need in person? Each year is critical for them, having lost it, they can’t regain ground and will suffer for a long time because of this.
There’s also a risk in driving yet people choose to take that risk every day.
I wish there were more acknowledgement of the nuances of this situation. Full disclosure, my brother in law is a hospital physician who works every day with COVID patients in two different hospitals. He is really annoyed at how people are freaking out so much about COVID while ignoring how much people are affected who suffer from other diseases that are barely acknowledged.
There’s a lot of politics involved.
My BIL's mom is 92 and in assisted living, hadn't been able to have physical contact with anyone since March. She worked a full time job until age 90 because she loved being around people. The facility finally let residents get out. A small group of us isolated for 2 weeks and had a birthday party for her and my own MIL who was turning 91 and lives at home.
During the day my BIL's mom would break out in tears randomly. We asked what was wrong and she said she was just so happy to be around family.
Firmly believe the isolation is literally killing people.15 -
Yes, it is. There are also many people dying because they aren’t able to get the care they need for their chronic diseases because of hospitals closing because of stopping non emergency procedures. It does make me angry when people say it’s all worth it, if it saves one life...one life from COVID that is. Do all the other lives lost from canceled cancer screenings, inability to book needed scheduled procedures, suicides, overdosing from depression and anxiety due to isolation and inability to get to mental health groups just not count them? Why not? Are their lives not as important just because they don’t have the ‘in’ disease?
The thing is in medicine, there’s almost always side effects. But somehow, that doesn’t seem to apply because it’s been overtaken by politics, which doesn’t like nuances. It’s called the art of medicine precisely because there are nuances! People die when we ignore that.9 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »girlwithcurls2 wrote: »I live within 3 miles of five sisters and their families, as well as my elderly parents. But, my risk of getting or giving them the virus is the same as if we were strangers. I totally understand how one family's needs might be different than my own, but for MY family, we are OK giving this up. I have seen my parents a handful of times, outside, at a distance. To think I may have given one of them their last hug is heartbreaking. I'm also "watching the numbers" and following the trends-gyms, bars/restaurants, and small indoor gatherings, typically family parties. I'd never, ever forgive myself if I hosted an event that spread this through my family.
But (legit question) will you forgive yourself if they should pass and you didn't see them/spend time with them while they were here? Is it really worth the heartache of not being around family if something should happen to them? I'd personally find it cold comfort that hey at least I didn't give them covid! Not making light of the fact that some people have concerns about covid and that some people are more likely to die from getting it but to me all the things we are giving up or being asked to give up is worse than the disease or risk of disease.
I couldn't forgive myself if I gave COVID to one of my high-risk family members and they got very ill or died.
If they died of other causes, I would still have all the many, many years of celebrations and holidays to remember.
It would not weigh on me that I didn't see them for their "last one".
For me, it is not worth the risk.
This is exactly how I feel.7 -
@gracegettingittogether There are certainly people suffering from the isolation. Unfortunately we did an awful job of reacting to covid in the beginning and too many people refuse to take simple common sense public health actions. So now we have to choose between hundreds of thousands mor people dying of or struggling with a contagious virus, or continuing to leave vulnerable people in isolation.
I have a co-worker who has a lung condition, so is at very high risk for covid. She has not been able to leave her neighborhood since March (other than doctor appts) because anytime her husband tried to take her anywhere there are people without masks and people congregating.
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope more people will be willing to do what's necessary so this doesn't have to be so hard on everyone who is trying to do the right thing.14 -
The thing is though, is that thousands of people are dying because of the precautions being taken for COVID. What I’m trying to say is that the right thing to do just isn’t so simple. Either way, many, many people die. There is no easy choice.
I would like to see an analysis done of the impact the COVID precautions are having because I suspect that the unintended consequences are much, much worse than are popularly acknowledged. I’m not saying have no precautions, but I would like to see a much more nuanced discussion about the risks vs benefits of COVID precautions. All we hear preached now are the benefits. I’m saying there are real risks which are killing people as we speak. It’s hard to read people being smug,(not you) and wonder why people don’t just do the “right thing”, when there is widespread suffering and death resulting.
There is no one right way. Every approach will be flawed. And I wish that would be more acknowledged.8 -
gracegettingittogether wrote: »Yes, it is. There are also many people dying because they aren’t able to get the care they need for their chronic diseases because of hospitals closing because of stopping non emergency procedures. It does make me angry when people say it’s all worth it, if it saves one life...one life from COVID that is. Do all the other lives lost from canceled cancer screenings, inability to book needed scheduled procedures, suicides, overdosing from depression and anxiety due to isolation and inability to get to mental health groups just not count them? Why not? Are their lives not as important just because they don’t have the ‘in’ disease?
The thing is in medicine, there’s almost always side effects. But somehow, that doesn’t seem to apply because it’s been overtaken by politics, which doesn’t like nuances. It’s called the art of medicine precisely because there are nuances! People die when we ignore that.
Yeah. Surgery cancellations and suspensions have been an issue here. Wait times were already on the ridiculous side for certain procedures and now they're getting outrageous. Grandma needs a new knee so she won't have to live every waking moment in pain? Tough titties. Try again in a year or two. Here's a morphine addiction to tide her over.
Hell, even routine lab work is backed up a mile.4 -
gracegettingittogether wrote: »The thing is though, is that thousands of people are dying because of the precautions being taken for COVID. What I’m trying to say is that the right thing to do just isn’t so simple. Either way, many, many people die. There is no easy choice.
I would like to see an analysis done of the impact the COVID precautions are having because I suspect that the unintended consequences are much, much worse than are popularly acknowledged. I’m not saying have no precautions, but I would like to see a much more nuanced discussion about the risks vs benefits of COVID precautions. All we hear preached now are the benefits. I’m saying there are real risks which are killing people as we speak. It’s hard to read people being smug,(not you) and wonder why people don’t just do the “right thing”, when there is widespread suffering and death resulting.
There is no one right way. Every approach will be flawed. And I wish that would be more acknowledged.
I think you just haven't found a forum that leans that way.7 -
gracegettingittogether wrote: »The thing is though, is that thousands of people are dying because of the precautions being taken for COVID. What I’m trying to say is that the right thing to do just isn’t so simple. Either way, many, many people die. There is no easy choice.
I would like to see an analysis done of the impact the COVID precautions are having because I suspect that the unintended consequences are much, much worse than are popularly acknowledged. I’m not saying have no precautions, but I would like to see a much more nuanced discussion about the risks vs benefits of COVID precautions. All we hear preached now are the benefits. I’m saying there are real risks which are killing people as we speak. It’s hard to read people being smug,(not you) and wonder why people don’t just do the “right thing”, when there is widespread suffering and death resulting.
There is no one right way. Every approach will be flawed. And I wish that would be more acknowledged.
When I said the right things, I meant wearing masks, giving people at least 6 feet, and avoiding congregating for unnecessary reasons. Sorry if that wasn't clear! Every epidemiologist I follow has said if we could get universal buy in to that stuff, a lot of the shutdown style precautions would be unnecessary, except in specific localities that become hot spots.
I had to go to my doctor to get a referral for physical therapy a couple of weeks ago. They had anyone who drove there wait in their car and check in by phone. Everyone masked. Doctor and nurse spent as little time as necessary in the room. It was different, but it worked, and the risk was minimal. There's lots of stuff like that which would work with minor modifications I think, if everyone would play along.
Unfortunately, we as a society don't seem capable of nuance Like you said, lots of isolated or special circumstances people out there are struggling with no one to advocate for them. Lots of essential workers with low paying jobs got their 15 minutes in March but now they are still out in public all day risking their health for minimum wage.
Hang in there, and sorry if you felt this thread was one sided. We're all pretty much just describing our own experience, thanks for contributing yours This whole damn thing is so complicated and frustrating.9 -
stevehenderson776 wrote: »gracegettingittogether wrote: »Yes, it is. There are also many people dying because they aren’t able to get the care they need for their chronic diseases because of hospitals closing because of stopping non emergency procedures. It does make me angry when people say it’s all worth it, if it saves one life...one life from COVID that is. Do all the other lives lost from canceled cancer screenings, inability to book needed scheduled procedures, suicides, overdosing from depression and anxiety due to isolation and inability to get to mental health groups just not count them? Why not? Are their lives not as important just because they don’t have the ‘in’ disease?
The thing is in medicine, there’s almost always side effects. But somehow, that doesn’t seem to apply because it’s been overtaken by politics, which doesn’t like nuances. It’s called the art of medicine precisely because there are nuances! People die when we ignore that.
Yeah. Surgery cancellations and suspensions have been an issue here. Wait times were already on the ridiculous side for certain procedures and now they're getting outrageous. Grandma needs a new knee so she won't have to live every waking moment in pain? Tough titties. Try again in a year or two. Here's a morphine addiction to tide her over.
Hell, even routine lab work is backed up a mile.
This sort of thing must be very localized, because I've heard about problems like that online, but I know people in a NYC suburb, OH, and WA who are getting medical procedures as per usual, and here in VA routine appts, screenings, surgeries etc with no issue. I guess it depends how developed and we'll staffed the healthcare industry in your area is.
Now that I think about it, all of the areas i mentioned are in close proximity to universities and university hospitals. I'd bet that factors in.4 -
stevehenderson776 wrote: »gracegettingittogether wrote: »Yes, it is. There are also many people dying because they aren’t able to get the care they need for their chronic diseases because of hospitals closing because of stopping non emergency procedures. It does make me angry when people say it’s all worth it, if it saves one life...one life from COVID that is. Do all the other lives lost from canceled cancer screenings, inability to book needed scheduled procedures, suicides, overdosing from depression and anxiety due to isolation and inability to get to mental health groups just not count them? Why not? Are their lives not as important just because they don’t have the ‘in’ disease?
The thing is in medicine, there’s almost always side effects. But somehow, that doesn’t seem to apply because it’s been overtaken by politics, which doesn’t like nuances. It’s called the art of medicine precisely because there are nuances! People die when we ignore that.
Yeah. Surgery cancellations and suspensions have been an issue here. Wait times were already on the ridiculous side for certain procedures and now they're getting outrageous. Grandma needs a new knee so she won't have to live every waking moment in pain? Tough titties. Try again in a year or two. Here's a morphine addiction to tide her over.
Hell, even routine lab work is backed up a mile.
This sort of thing must be very localized, because I've heard about problems like that online, but I know people in a NYC suburb, OH, and WA who are getting medical procedures as per usual, and here in VA routine appts, screenings, surgeries etc with no issue. I guess it depends how developed and we'll staffed the healthcare industry in your area is.
Now that I think about it, all of the areas i mentioned are in close proximity to universities and university hospitals. I'd bet that factors in.
Ontario's health system has been a mess for years and years. The covid has just opened the cracks further.1 -
stevehenderson776 wrote: »stevehenderson776 wrote: »gracegettingittogether wrote: »Yes, it is. There are also many people dying because they aren’t able to get the care they need for their chronic diseases because of hospitals closing because of stopping non emergency procedures. It does make me angry when people say it’s all worth it, if it saves one life...one life from COVID that is. Do all the other lives lost from canceled cancer screenings, inability to book needed scheduled procedures, suicides, overdosing from depression and anxiety due to isolation and inability to get to mental health groups just not count them? Why not? Are their lives not as important just because they don’t have the ‘in’ disease?
The thing is in medicine, there’s almost always side effects. But somehow, that doesn’t seem to apply because it’s been overtaken by politics, which doesn’t like nuances. It’s called the art of medicine precisely because there are nuances! People die when we ignore that.
Yeah. Surgery cancellations and suspensions have been an issue here. Wait times were already on the ridiculous side for certain procedures and now they're getting outrageous. Grandma needs a new knee so she won't have to live every waking moment in pain? Tough titties. Try again in a year or two. Here's a morphine addiction to tide her over.
Hell, even routine lab work is backed up a mile.
This sort of thing must be very localized, because I've heard about problems like that online, but I know people in a NYC suburb, OH, and WA who are getting medical procedures as per usual, and here in VA routine appts, screenings, surgeries etc with no issue. I guess it depends how developed and we'll staffed the healthcare industry in your area is.
Now that I think about it, all of the areas i mentioned are in close proximity to universities and university hospitals. I'd bet that factors in.
Ontario's health system has been a mess for years and years. The covid has just opened the cracks further.
Crap, sorry. This pandemic certainly does seem to be magnifying the cracks (and giant craters) that were already there.2 -
stevehenderson776 wrote: »stevehenderson776 wrote: »gracegettingittogether wrote: »Yes, it is. There are also many people dying because they aren’t able to get the care they need for their chronic diseases because of hospitals closing because of stopping non emergency procedures. It does make me angry when people say it’s all worth it, if it saves one life...one life from COVID that is. Do all the other lives lost from canceled cancer screenings, inability to book needed scheduled procedures, suicides, overdosing from depression and anxiety due to isolation and inability to get to mental health groups just not count them? Why not? Are their lives not as important just because they don’t have the ‘in’ disease?
The thing is in medicine, there’s almost always side effects. But somehow, that doesn’t seem to apply because it’s been overtaken by politics, which doesn’t like nuances. It’s called the art of medicine precisely because there are nuances! People die when we ignore that.
Yeah. Surgery cancellations and suspensions have been an issue here. Wait times were already on the ridiculous side for certain procedures and now they're getting outrageous. Grandma needs a new knee so she won't have to live every waking moment in pain? Tough titties. Try again in a year or two. Here's a morphine addiction to tide her over.
Hell, even routine lab work is backed up a mile.
This sort of thing must be very localized, because I've heard about problems like that online, but I know people in a NYC suburb, OH, and WA who are getting medical procedures as per usual, and here in VA routine appts, screenings, surgeries etc with no issue. I guess it depends how developed and we'll staffed the healthcare industry in your area is.
Now that I think about it, all of the areas i mentioned are in close proximity to universities and university hospitals. I'd bet that factors in.
Ontario's health system has been a mess for years and years. The covid has just opened the cracks further.
And Ontario's health system is 1 000 000 times better than the have not provinces. I can't even begin to describe how bad health care is where I live or lack of health care and extreme lack of doctors that is.6 -
Here, I feel like people are self-selecting out of certain forms of health care. But I've heard little about delays in essential care (beyond that self selection - by which I mean things like people who don't go to the emergency room when they have chest pain, because of Covid fears).
I have a friend in cancer treatment, and that's continuing. I had a colonoscopy a couple of weeks ago at an outpatient surgical center, and have cataract surgery coming up in a couple of weeks. A friend's husband had carpal tunnel surgery very quickly. Another friend has automimmune conditions, and her regular infusions and blood tests are happening. Generally, the scheduling for these things seems pretty normal.
I'm not saying any of those things, except the cancer treatment, are huge life-threatening things. They're just the things I have personal knowledge of . . . and the fact that they're mostly deferrable without threat to life, but happening anyway, suggests to me that probably major needs are being addressed, too. The procedures to see doctors and have surgery have changed, but the timeline seems pretty normal, here.
This is in the middle of Michigan, mid-sized city, no university hospital, but a good-sized hospital system (that alsoserves smaller surrounding communities and rural areas).
Earlier, say March/April, there was some rescheduling of less urgent medical procedures. Even then, the friend in cancer treatment continued chemotherapy. For a while then, our hospitals were reaching capacity with Covid patents, but (perhaps more importantly based on what I read/heard) having to ration PPE to the most urgent situations.
I'm not saying any of this to doubt or deprecate what others are saying about health care limitations where they are. I'm just sharing the view from where I am, in an area that still is under many sorts of public-health-related restriction orders, and with a case count that's rising again (we're above April's numbers, I believe). I am concerned about people not seeking preventiver services, with consequences that may come to roost later. I see people limiting routine health monitoring things like check-ups and blood tests. Heck, I've done some of that myself.6 -
Some of the issue was that if you already had a cancer diagnosis you could continue treatment, but if you didn't...you were often deferred because "elective" procedures (such as diagnostics) were not being done. Or you couldn't get in to see that specialist because of Covid restrictions.
The restrictions even now on visitation in hospitals (because of course it makes sense for a sick person to be alone for 20 hours of the day....) are ridiculous. Or if you are in the ED you can't have anyone with you.
In general I agree with the poster above who pointed out that not only health screenings are being put off but the incidents of abuse, suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, etc are all on the rise. I read a statistic recently that said that the US is up 300,000 deaths from where they thought we'd be (I could be wrong in my remembering honestly) if 200k of those are covid the other 100k is covid related in some form probably - why aren't we freaking out about that number?
Covid fear is killing more people (or at least harming them in irrevocable ways) than Covid itself is. The cure for the disease can NOT be worse than the disease itself and we are heading that way at this point though I fear we are already there.4 -
What do you mean by why aren't we freaking out about that number....?.?
I accept elective procedures being delayed and I accept isolation has been very difficult for some people , but I don't agree at all that more deaths have been caused by Covid fear than by Covid itself20 -
Some of the issue was that if you already had a cancer diagnosis you could continue treatment, but if you didn't...you were often deferred because "elective" procedures (such as diagnostics) were not being done. Or you couldn't get in to see that specialist because of Covid restrictions.
The restrictions even now on visitation in hospitals (because of course it makes sense for a sick person to be alone for 20 hours of the day....) are ridiculous. Or if you are in the ED you can't have anyone with you.
In general I agree with the poster above who pointed out that not only health screenings are being put off but the incidents of abuse, suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, etc are all on the rise. I read a statistic recently that said that the US is up 300,000 deaths from where they thought we'd be (I could be wrong in my remembering honestly) if 200k of those are covid the other 100k is covid related in some form probably - why aren't we freaking out about that number?
Covid fear is killing more people (or at least harming them in irrevocable ways) than Covid itself is. The cure for the disease can NOT be worse than the disease itself and we are heading that way at this point though I fear we are already there.
There were only brief periods like that here, I believe. (Not saying it's the same everywhere. Don't know.) Over the period of time since Covid took a grip here, I've had a CT scan and an abdominal ultrasound; seen a gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, retinologist (not just my primary care, but him a couple of times, too); cancelled an appointment (my choice) with a osteoporosis specialist who was perfectly willing to meet with me; had a telehealth visit with a dermatologist who really would've preferred that I come to the office. I'm not having any trouble here in the last few months getting diagnostics, or seeing specialists. This is personal experience, not speculation. I know several people who've told me they've recently had their screening mammograms.
My impression is that there was a short but scary period here (maybe two months?) where certain kinds of screenings, diagnostics, and treatments were put on hold in non-emergency cases. Since then, from what I hear from friends, and experience personally, things are at least close to normal . . . except for the procedures in place at the facilities, which involve masks, temperature checks, limited seating in waiting rooms, wait-in-car procedures in some cases, etc.
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girlwithcurls2 wrote: »It's kind of mind-boggling that people aren't willing to give up ONE year of holidays for the good of everybody. I am grateful that I live in a place where the majority of people are taking this seriously. Living with my 24 year old daughter who has put dating and socializing on hold hasn't been easy. She is restless, lonely, bored, fed up... like the rest of us. But she's also got friends who have been exposed to the virus, and friends who have had it. She's not taking any chances. She's a smart kid, but I can't help but remind her that it's not just her, but the rest of us in the house (me, her dad, and her 17 year old sister). I hate wearing a mask. But I would imagine I would hate a ventilator more.
But if this is the last year for some of those people? I think it's mindboggling that people are voluntarily giving up opportunities to be with their families during the holidays. I can see being careful or limiting crowds - not inviting as many, maybe doing multiple ones instead, but I can't see just giving it all up. My family is going to do our regular immediate family Thanksgiving the Sunday before - so my parents, siblings and I with our kids, instead of an extended birthday party (ie my family and my husbands) we are going to just have my family (including our elderly grandmother so she doesn't miss it) together for cake. But with my sister diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer that has spread I'm not willing to pass up the holidays with her - will I be cautious? ABSOLUTELY. But I'm also not going to not see her knowing this could very well be the last Christmas with her or even with my elderly grandmother either. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow or next year, we shouldn't throw away opportunities over a virus that the vast majority of people survive.
I had a terrible car accident one year because I thought I "had to" get home for holidays and took to the roads in rain and fog. If it weren't for the car that took me out, my little car would have gone under an 18-wheeler. I could have missed decades of holidays because I thought that getting home outweighed the extra risk of traveling in that weather. For the people for whom it might be the last year, think of all the years they've already had, and all the months or possibly years (not sure if you're saying it could be their last just because they're older or because they have a terminal diagnosis) they could miss if someone brings COVID to the holiday dinner -- and how sadly alone they'll have to die if they from COVID.21
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