Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...
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I couldn't remember where I hid my boomerang...
And then it hit me.2 -
I had a dream last night that I was a muffler.
I woke up exhausted.3 -
I'm reading a book on the history of glue.
I just can't seem to put it down.2 -
What did the flags say to each other?
Nothing. They just waved.2 -
you know what the worst thing about wearing crocs is?
when its raining outside your socks get wetFeelinFooFoo wrote: »
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Yesterday, I saw a man spill all of his scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, "So what's the word on the street?"5 -
A woman in labor shouted, "Shouldn't! Couldn't! Wouldn't! Didn't! Can't! "
"Don't Worry, said the Doc." Those are just contractions.2 -
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?5
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A bear walks into a bar and says "Give me a whiskey and....... coke."
"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender.
The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure. I was born with them."
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What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.3 -
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats
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I don't mean to brag but I just put a puzzle together in one day! And the box said 2-4 years, ha!7
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I don't trust stairs.
They're always UP to something.
2 -
Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing.1 -
What's the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
Live stream.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwRrKaq0IyY&list=PLE0A43174444193E3&index=39
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Does anyone remember the joke I made about the chiropractor? It was about a weak back.3
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Why is it a good idea to keep libraries in prisons? Because the prose outweigh the cons.2
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What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by it's diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.2 -
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
They would be called cellfies2 -
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator2
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